Lewis & Clark College

The Pioneer Log: Lewis & Clark College’s Student-Run Newspaper

Volume 89, Issue 5

Lewis & Clark College Student Newspaper

Pioneer Log Staff

2017-11-17

For questions about rights statements, or access to the original document please contact Lewis & Clark College Special Collections and Archives http://specialcollections.lclark.edu

Lewis & Clark College: Pioneer Log / Mossy Log

AND CLARK COJ l EGE
Vol. 89 No.5 FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17~ 2017 www .piolog.com
Ray Warren symposium sparks race discourse
By AUDREY BARRETI was always positive, like 'these are the
most terrific speakers that ever came
THE 14TH ANNUAL Ray War to campus,"' Cromer said.
ren Symposium on Race and Every year the theme changes, so
Ethnic Studies, titled "Legacy, the content is radically different, but
Race and Remembrance," took place Cromer says the campus is always
Nov. 8 tlirough 10. Keynote speakers more educated as a result.
and panels offered an opportunity for "It's important that people find
Lewis & Clark students and commu someone they connect with, and still
nity members to delve into the study find the desire to continue those con
of race and ethnicity, and the sympo versations and continue searching,"
sium concluded with the annual Race symposium co-chair Michelle Waters
Monologues. '19 said.
This year's theme centered The Race Monologues, which ac
around memory, storytelling and tually have been going on longer than
imagination. It explored how histo the Ray Warren symposium, are a key
ry is commemorated, how ra-ce and component of the event.
ethnicity shapes the narrative and the "The rcile of Race Monologues is
idea of remembering as resistance. really to be a platform for students of
." I want people to really take the color to advocate for themselves and
symposium as a series of tools they to create a community amongst them
could use in order to step out jnto selves and bow they experience race
the world as social justice leaders and and ethnicity in their lives," Cromer
people who could advocate for oth said. "They're always really powerful,
ers," symposium co-chair Christen and they're always a place to gain in
Cromer '18 said. sight on how people are living their
Speakers were chosen based on lives, and something I will always
how they shared the intersection of treasure after I leave Lewis & Clark."
memory and race in their personal ex Cromer believes having people
periences. speak about their personal lives ,is
"It's to bring people who wouldn't more powerful than the often abstract
normally be in a classroom, who ar JACKSON SUNDHEIM/PIONEER LOG academic conversations on race and
en't white male professors, and put Jelani Cobb, historian and award-winning New Yorker staff writer, presented on the importance of race in America today. ethnic studies, and the intimate
them up on this platform, because community it creates among the
their knowledge is just as valid," sym this talk of Confederate monuments America," Annie Austrian '21 said. Adam Becenti, panel speaker and participants is empowering.
posium co-chair Alexander Castanes and white supremacists coming out "It made me wonder what else my community development special "The empathetic relationships we
'18 said. with crazy understandings of history old history textbook might have flat ist, believes it is his obligation as a were able to create with one another
The symposium sought to bring ... it made our symposium even more out lied about," DanfWitt '19.said. descendant of ·Native Americans to were really special this year," co-co
students, who might not other.wise· relevant. White· su remacy is not a "Magali s.Rabasa,A ssistant Profes grapple with historical and intergen ordinator of the Race Monologues
enter an ethnic studies class, into the thing of the past." sor of Hispanic Studies, said that at erational trauma. Maya Hernandez '19 said. "I think the
conversation about race so that they Jelani Cobb, historian and LC, people are commemorated in the "Our job is to remember who we monologues depend a lot on group dy
might gain some insight into these rel award-winning New Yorker staff writ names of buildings and halls. Many are, the strength we have within us," namics and being able to share such
evant and contentious issues. er, said that modern America.is a com of these people contributed to the Becenti said. personal stories with one another.
"It's really important for students plicated and contradictory society. colonization of the ·west and helped Overall, the symposium this year Feeling comfortable enough to do so
to realize the way that race· works, on "We can't really 'understand this negotiate land treaties that robbed in was considered a success, reflecting was really empowering, and I think
our campus, in our city, more broadly country if we don't understand race," digenous people of their land, She said • the months of hard work put into . the audience really got that."
in our country," Associate Professor of Cobb said in his keynote presentation that LC is built on Chinook territory. planning the three-day event. Co-coordinator of Race Mono
Sociology Sarah Warren said. on Nov. 9. ~I am reminded of this visible lega "The feedback we've received from logues Bradley Ralph '19 said that the
"My first symposium was super eye "I thought the talk was very cur cy daily, as I move around the campus the various community members that monologues seemed to carry less
opening," Castanes said. "When Char rent and it gave me insight into the and go about my everyday activities," came'up to us and engaged in conver
lottesville happened and there was all way I view events concerning race _in Rabasa said. sation about the events they attended • "LC Engages" continued on page 3
Barnes & Noble- absorb_s LC canipus bookstore
ByEVALOVE that we would never be able to achieve "What I'm hoping for is that we hires under the new management sys currently employed at the bookstore,
Examples of such services in have more choices and programs, tem and tl)at LC'sS tudent Employment particularly for international students
BARNES & NOBLE (B&N) is clude an unlimited quantity of text like events in the space, bookwarm Coordinator will help •s tudents find who can't work elsewhere.
currently in the process of book rentals, providing teachers with ings, readin,gs from authors and en-. new positions on campus. However, "Barnes & Noble cannot employ
subsuming the Lewis & Clark flexibility when it comes to ordering gagement from faculty and students," Kelley had concerns about how the work study students because they're
bookstore. On Dec. 4, the bookstore books, a smartpbone app that bas or Gonzalez said. "I'd like it to become a ownership change would affect the an outside corporation," Kelley said.
will be open and operating under the der tracking and online shopping and bub on campus - go in, walk around, positions of work-study students "Students are invited to apply for their
ownership of B&N. While the change a commitment to stocking merchandise have something there that students jobs but it's not a guarantee. I prob
in ownership raises many questions, from vendors who follow Fair Labor want to engage with. ably have about 10 student workers
Dean of Students Anna Gonzalez be Association standards. Marlene Guzman '19 thinks who are going to lose their jobs,
lieves it will benefit the college and the Bookstore Manager Janet Kelley that the change will have cer but I have quite a few interna
students at large. • expressed concerns that B&N would tain positive results. tional students and I've been
"(With B&N) we're guaranteed ultimately make certain things more "I think it'..sg ood that the told that they can only work
not to lose money," Gonzalez said. expensive and less accessible. Dean is thinking of· mak for work-study because of
"So it won't cost the school, which is "What I've been told by my friends ing it more of a community nuwever their visas work."
important to me because whenever that have worked at college bookstores gathering space because I've Gonzalez is hopeful that
that happens it's borne by students. owned by businesses is that they raise always wanted more places this change will ultimately
because tuition dollars go to that kind the prices on clothing and merchan to read and study in," Guz have a positive impact on
ofloss." dise and they lower the service," Kel man said. "The library can ·the school and is eager for
Associate Vice President of Fi ley said. "They're a corporation and feel very constraining and the LC community to col
nance Andrea Dooley believes th.at the they want to make money and we re mundane, so it's cool that laborate on the bookstore?s
business. prowess B&N will provide ally struggle to make money here; and they want to invest in development.
benefits the college. • the only way I see that the bookstore and create a space that's "(B&N) wants to cre
"Barnes & Noble brings expertise is going to be al;)let o make money is if more conducive to that • ate an advisory board· of
in operating a campus store," Dooley Barnes & Noble raises prices." sort of environment." students, faculty and staff
said. "They have the buying-power Gonzalez is hoping that B&Nt urns Dooley • was adamant to help figure out the pro
and infrastructure to provide services the bookstore into a center for student that current student em grams and changes that will
on our own." life and community engagement. ployees will be first priority SARAH BRADBURY/PIONEER LOG happen," Gonzalez said.
Housing Lottery Student Reactions Myths and Legends Modest Mouse Swim Season
Campus Living bolds mid-year housing lottery LC students respond to the controversial Back.door Lewis & Clark myths and legends are investigated, Reflecting on the 20th anniversary of the band's Men's and women's swim teams kick off new
for students wishing to change their housing piece entitled "New Study finds LC actually has an from Monica Lewinsky's dorm room to the ghost sophomore album, "fhe Lonesome Crowded season, both teams are already showing promise
situ:ttions for the spring semester. Athletics department." that haunts the theatre department. West." for the new year.
Seepage 3 Seepage 5 See page 9 See page 12 See page 14

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2016
2 NEWS
LC welcomes first female campus safety dir~ctor
By HANNA MERZBACH
DONNA HENDERSON had her
first day as Lewis & Clark's first
female Director of Campus Safe
ty on Nov. 13. She is taking the place
of Tim O'Dwyer, who retired in early
September; her appointment marks the
•e nd of the search process that followed
his retirement. A committee of faculty
·members, led by Dean of Students Anna
Gonzalez, conducted open sessions with
potential candidates.
Of tlie five finalists, Henderson's am:
pie experience and community-building
focus made her stand out: she was with
the Portlarid Police Bureau for 20 years,
retiring as the assistant chief of investi
gations and later working for the Office
of Neighborhood Involvement.
"I had retired from the Police Bu
reau about a year and a half ago and was
still working for the city ancj.s ome of my
friends were saying 'Hey, did you hear
Tim is leaving up at Lewis & Clark?'"
Henderson said. "It just fit where I want •
to be in my life.
Henderson's police experience
proved to be a large selling point with
the search committee. Choosing a di
rector who could deal with emergency
situations, whether it be an earthquake
or school shooting, was one of its top
priorities. Vice President and Provost
Jane Atkinson agreed.
"As Director of Campus Safety, Don
na will play an important role in our
emergency management work," Atkin
son said. "From her years of work with
the Portland Police Bureau, she has BLAKEA SHBY! '.PIONEERL OG
contacts across the region and is famil New Director of Campus Safety Donna Henderson, who recieved her masters in psychology from LC in 2009, returns after a long career with the Portland Police Bureau.
iar with the processes and possibilities
is intimate enough for me to introduce any specific changes that will be made "If we find that somebody has ·co~ Henderson agrees with this decision;
for interagency cooperation in times of
myself to just about everybody on cam to Campus Safety, she highlighted her caine, do we look at somebody who however, she does not believe it will be
crisis."
pus." concern with drug use on campus. is just using cocaine differently than necessary at LC.
In 2009, Henderson received a mas
Henderson has no intentions to "How we treat drug offenses here somebody who is selling cocaine?" Hen "I think it was the right decision for
ters of arts in psychology from the LC
make immediate changes; much like is something I am really interested in derson said. Portland State," Henderson said. "That
Graduate School.
new President Wim Wiewel, Hender because I am just Henderson is a whole different environment. I think
"She already knows and appreciates
the campus cult\J.re," Atkinson said. son plans to gauge what the campus not sure where the ''I really want to keep an understands very he was looking at that environment and
wants during her first few months here. school's going with well that students weighing out what you.n eed in an urban
"I am confident that she is going to
She plans to do this by connecting with that," Henderson open mind and find out may be apprehen society, in an open campus in down
establish and maintain productive rela
tionships with all sectors of the Lewis & the community and attending campus said. "Basically, what the community re sive about hiring town Portland. It is not the same here."
events. marijuana is legal somebody with so Henderson hopes to transition
Clark community."
"When I saw her interact with the here in Oregon. ally wants from us and much police expe-· smoothly to LC over the course of the
Although Henderson was a student
at LC, she admits that she still has a lot staff and students in the sessions, she I can understand where they ivant to go." rience. She wants next few months.
actually cared about their erigagement why it is illegal on to ensure students "I am the first female director of
to learn about the campus. She looks
with the college," Dean Gonzalez said. campus because that she has no in security that they have had here," Hen
forward to the intimate connections a Donna Henderson
"She was very enthusiastic about go the school receives tention of arming derson said. "So, I just want to be able
small campus allows.
ing to different activities, going to the funding from feder Campus Safety or to look at everything and not just as
"I want to really get to know the
(residence) halls and not just working al dollars and the feds have not made bringing the Portland Police to LC. sume that we have to go down a certain
campus and the community," Hender
during the day but also switching out it legal," In light of Wiewel's appointment, path. I really want to keep an open mind
son said. "Working for -somewhere like
her schedule so she could be here at Henderson aims to understand how students have expressed concern about and find out what the community really
Portland Police Bureau where there are
night." the school deals with different levels of his arming of safety officers at his previ ·wants from us and where they want to
600,000 people (in the city), it's tough
While Henderson does not know drug offenses. ous institution, Portland State University. go." •
to get to know everybody. But, here, it
Board of Trustees Ineinbers pledge $3 Inillion to LC
By AMELIA EICHEL for entrepreneurial courses," Parikh said.
"There's a roadblock that the en
ON OCT. 19, Lewis & Clark Board trepreneurship center is facing and it's
of Trustees Chair Stephanie about getting approval from the ac
Fowler '97 and her husband, ademic side of campus to teach their
Irving Levin, pledged a $1 million classes," Max Clary '18 said. "The (do
unrestricted donation to LC. This an nation) money can help students get
nouncement was followed by anoth more resources, more access."
er unrestricted $1 million donation Clary has taken advantage of the
by Trustee Pat Mahaffy '85 and a $"! unique opportunities that the Center for
million donation to the Center for En Entrepreneurship provides·.
trepreneurship by Life Trustees John "Samir (Parikh) and Chrys Hutch
and Susan Bates. ings (the Associate Director of the
"Entrepreneurs and V1s10naries Center) have helped "link me with a
imagine the future they want to live bunch of CEOs," Clary said. "They've
in and then they create it," John Bates gotten me involved with Oregon En
said. "This is what we're all about. That trepreneurs Network where I was a
is the basis of our interest in this pro finalist for the Wyatt -Stanes Award.
gram. Now that it is up and running They helped me present to both the
with absolutely wonderful leadership, Advisory Board for the entrepreneur
Susan and I felt it was time to step in." center and the Board of Trustees. Chrys
Mr. and Mrs. Bates have been part Hutchings has spent tons of hours help
of the college since 1975. Mr. Bates was ing me start my second company. She
an Associate Professor of Finance at LC also got me connecte.d to TED talk so I'll
from 1975 to 1981. They both led study be giving a TED talk as.well."
abroad trips and are now members of The Center for Entrepreneurship
the Board of Trustees. The Center for currently serves as a resource for stu
Entrep_reneurship will be renamed the dents across all three LC campuses. It
John E. and Susan S. Bates Center for helps students network, find intern
Entrepreneurship and Leadership. ships and learn the skills necessary to be
"I think we are very lucky to have CEOs, entrepreneurs and visionaries.
their names attached to the center," "The frustrating part about college
Director of the Center for Entrepreneur is you spend four years learning and
ship Samir Parikh said." John Bates has taking all these classes just to get out of
been a huge supporter of the center college realize that a small percentage of
both with his time and resources." the skills you learn are actually applica
Parikh hopes the money will help ble," Clary said. "The ent epreneurship
expand the center's curriculum. center is.the only place I've found that
"We are trying to create a minor for the skills that I'm learning !1,reb eing di
ANNA DESMET/PIONEER LOG • LC students to provide a framework rectly applied the next day."

FRIDAYN, OVEMBER1 7, 2017
NEWS 3
LC engages with legacy, race and rememberance
continued from page 1
overt anger this year compared to last
year's, which he felt were more pow
ered by the emotional upheaval of the
presidential election. Ralph commendec;I
the time and effort ;hat the presenters
poured into their mono1ogues. •
"We've worked on these since the
end of September, we've had workshops
every week and then three rehearsals,"
Ralph said. "Watching peo_plep rogress
from what they had at that first work-
shop to the piece that they gave, I was
proud of the success of the event as a
whole and then also proud of all of the
presenters that were able to tell their
story."
Waters hopes that the presenters'
valiant work will engender a wider con
versation outside of the monologues
themselves.
"The presenters take on something
-that's super courageous, that requires
a large degree of strength and reassur
ance," Waters said .." ! definitely see the
symposium as a starting point ... I think
MORGAN FRIES/PIONEER LOG MORGAN FRIES/PIONEER LOG
people should find inspiration to con From left to right: Sarit Cahana '20 listens to Yukiyo Kawano, a third-generation nuclear bomb survivor; Kawano gi_vest alk centered on trauma and healing.
tinue those discussions."
Cobb believes Americans have the
power to make real change in how race
and ethnicity impact people's lives.
"Being inside the hegemonic power
of our country is an opportunity," Cobb
said.
At the end of Cobb's presentation on
Nov. 9, the auditorium gave a standing
ovation.
"I think it gets a lot of people excited
about what they hear, and I hope peo
ple tak~ th!}t into their everyday lives
and into their scholarship," Castanes
said. "It's an opportunity for people to
start thinking aboµt their own memo
ries, their history."
"We encourage people not to let the
symposium be_t he only time they en
gage with these complex discussions,
that there's various other campus events
you can engage with and intimate spac
es within your own life," Cromer said.
"You don't have to re·strict these con
versations to such formal places. Since
race and ethnicity plays a role in our
lives all the time, it needs to be spoken . MORGAN FRIES/PIONEER LOG
about all the time." Cultural pract_itioner Sulu'ape Keone Nunes (left) and multimedia artist Wendy Red Star (right) discuss cultural continuance through art and its future impact.
Students gamble for new living
..;
situations in housing lottery
J
By GELSEY PIAZA able to answer their questions on the you draw," the student said.
spot and tease out the basis of their re "I think the system is very fair be
LEWIS & CLARK'Sm id-year hous quests. cause of every application having a
ing lottery took place on Nov. 2 "We want to make sure our students chance to be evaluated and considered."
from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. in the Cam are comfortable in their living situation; According to Bottemiller, the mid
pus Living Office Suite. According to after all this is their home," Figueroa year housing lottery gives students an
Director of Housing and Orientation said. "Hearing their concerns with their opportunity to change their living situ
Sandi Bottemiller, there were a total current placement first hand helps us ation and explore new residence hall
of 51 students who wanted to move out make that happen." environments. She said that it is espe
of or switch rooms within their current A freshman, who prefers to remain cially important if a student is not hap
residence hall, compared to 62 last anonymous, applied for the lottery in py in their current living position.
year. The class breakdown for students order to obtain a single. Due to he_alth "The reason that we do it is to pro J
who entered the lottery this year was: issues, dorm life was more of a stress vide options for students," Bottemiller
one senior, 10 juniors, 14 sophomores, for them rather·than a leisure. said: "If somebody doesn't have a ter-
24 freshman and two American English rific roommate pairing, and it's just
Studies (AES) stu not going well, we wouldn't want
dents. them to have to stay in that situation
During 'the for the en-tire year." , J
lottery, students Another first-
.
are allowed to year, who pre
request their top .: f.. . fers to remain -
three residence anonymous,
halls. According to applied for the •
Bottemiller, some lottery
students already know because one oJt heir close
where they want to friends was in a bad living
live and who they want situation and they wanted
to room with. Most stu to live together. Con
dents want to move into , cerning the application. 0
Holmes, and Forest is process, they don't like
the second most popular the concept of pulling a
choice. It is common that JACKSON SUND HEIM/PIONEER LOG lottery number.
students who have no resi- "I felt like I was walking on . "The process of applying was not
dence .hall preference hope to acquire eggshells in my own home," the student difficult, but to me it doesn't make
a single. said. "My roommate and I got along sense that your probability of getting to
The majority of students want to great, biit living 'with other people in move depends on chance - drawing a
move out of Copeland. There were also close proximity isn't always easy, es number," the student said. "It seems to
quite a few students who want to move pecially when it can compromise your me that they should prioritize people in
within Holmes, many of whom would health." very bad rooming situations."
like to obtain a single. They thought that the lottery system In addition to students wanting to
Administrative Coordinator for ran very smoothly, but they can see why switch rooms and residence halls for•
Campus Living Arianna Figueroa found people would want it to change. the spring semester, Campus Living is
the mid-year housing lottery to be ef "The idea of it being a lottery can also dealing with an influx of students
ficient a.o.d beneficial. The process make the process seem like a game of coming in from studying abroad.
Campus Living currently enacts allows chance and luck, but in actuality, the Some students are coming back
for Figueroa to speak to each lottery Campus Living reviews every person's from a leave of absence, while others
participant individually. She is then application regardless of what number . want to move off-campus.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2017
4 NEWS
ASLC debates Faculty trade tools for teaching
senator pay raise
By MACKENZIE.HERRING not necessarily the people who are the
most dedicated and who want to do the
THE ASSOCIATED STUDENTS job," Sounders said.
of Lewis & Clark (ASLC) have At the end of the meeting the group
a. senate made up of primarily was conflicted over whether or not the
freshman and sophomore students. effects of an increased senate stipend
As this does not accurately represent would be beneficial or would truly solve
the student body, ASLC bas been dis the low rate· of return.
cussing the rate of turnover and is look On Nov. 9, ASLCa gain discussed an
ing into strategies that will incentivize· increase in senate stipend but focused
members to return. largely on _the logistics regarding any _
At the meeting on Nov. 2, Senator change to payment.
Hannah Posey-Scholl ,·20 suggested a Student Organizations Cgordinator
raise to the senate stipend in order to Alden Chatfield 'i9 spoke about where
encourage senate members to return. the money for an increased stipenq.
"Since attending senate last year would come from and the difficulties
PHOTO COURTESYO F MOLLY ROBINSON KELLY
and being on senate so far this year, I'm of accessing any raise. ASLC currently
CeciliaB enenati 0eft) and J erusha Detweiler-Bedell( righff'discussedp ow they use group projects to stimulate student collaboration.
trying to find a way for senators to want recieves stipends from the student fee
to come back," Posey-Scholl said. "Both portion of tuition payments that_ goes By GELSEY.PLAZA assign group projects to students Robinson Kelly enjoys working with
last year and this year I believe I've seen towards funding all clubs and activities. because they see it as a way to expose TEP because it gives her the opportu
an entire new senate." - Chatfield was worried not only about LEWIS & CLARK'S Teaching Ex students to the benefits and skills nity to work closely with her peers in
The group had briefly discussed finding the money, but about doing so cellence Program (TEP) offers re associated with collaboration and attaining the core mission of LC: teach-
both Portland State University's (PSU) in a way that would be fair to other or- sources to faculty members that teamwork. ing. .
and the University of Portland's ganizations. help develop teaching techniques that Ip the meeting, they discussed how "TEP is unique in that its focus is
(UP) senate stipend at a m "The raise would have are engaging, inclusive and innovative. to make group work a more universally purely supportive and developmental,"
meeting in late October. r to run through the stu It was enacted Fall 2016 and hosts events positive experience for students. Robinson Kelly said via e-mail. "The
UP allocates $1,000 dent fee," Chatfield such as workshops and lunch meetings Detweiler-Bedell typically leads the work I do as DTC is truly collaborative:
per year for each· said. •" We couldn't to spread pedagogical practi_ces. meetings and circulates a couple of I get to act as an observer, a listener, an
R..
senator and PSU fP introduce the pay While serving as the 2014;15 Inter brief articles a few days in advance to analyst and supporter. It's important to
allocates $600, ~ ment outside of im Dean, Director of TEP and Professor get the faculty thinking about the meet remember that teaching, and working
while LC al •AS'LCt the traditional of Psychology Jerusha Detweiler-Be ing's agenda. Discussion begins with to grow in your teaching, needs to come
locates $100. • structure." dell noticed that faculty wer_es eeking some questions from Detweiler-Bedell from a place of openness."
Although both ASLC also additional opportunities to engage or Assistant Director and Visiting As According to _Associate Professor
university's discussed rais in conversation and receive feedback sistant Professor Daymond Glenn, and of History and TEP Pedagogy Fellow
student gov- 0-1 ing the student about teaching practices. then proceeds with faculty sharing ex- Ben Westervelt, TEP is an asset for
#
ernment are fee but came to "I saw a great deal of faculty en • periences, asking questions and seeking the faculty due to the fact that many
not identical to the quick conclu thusiasm for ·opportunities to. talk advice. professors do not receive 'explicit in
ASLC, the group sion that it would about pedagogical development," Common topics discussed during struction_ on how to teach in graduate
~
found issue with the be very difficult to Detweiler-Bedell said. "Faculty are the bi-weekly lunch meetings include school. For Westervelt, graduate school
discrepancy. pass and unfair to the really eager across their careers to fig strategies for beginning and ending felt more like an apprenticeship with a
The representative for student body. ure out best practices, how to learn . classes as well as how to initiate and "watch and learn" kind of environment.
the Queer Student Union, CYANC OWAP/PIONEER LOG Reaching an end to the something new that will reinvigorate lead classroom discussions, handle dif "I basically tried to do what my good
Sam Seagren '19, suggested discussion, Senator Quinn their teaching or how to get feedback ficult classroom conversat;ions, improve instructors did and avoid what I didn't
that the current stipend unfairly im- Vinlove '21 stated his opinion that the on new classes they're teaching." assignments, help struggling students think worked so well in my experience
• pacts students of lower socioeconomic money senators currently receive is ap Due to interest from faculty to and write letters of recommendation. • as a student," Westervelt said. "I never
standing. propriate for the job and that finding construct a teaching program, Det As the tw~ Distinguished Teaching had any explicit training or even any
"If there isn't a financial incentive senators with passion and dedication weiler-Bedell started TEP by drafting Consultants (DTC), Associate Professor sustained reflection on teaching. The
to be on senate you're going to end up. could be best done by keeping the sti a proposal for a grant from the Mellon of French Molly Robinson Kelly and closest thing was weekly meetings of
with less representation of students pend at the current amount. Foundation. The foundation gave the Detweiler-Bedell provide faculty-to---fac the faculty in the then-Core course after
who don't bave the time to be on senate "We're in here because we're· very College of Arts and Sciences a four year ulty. peer mentoring. The DTCs offer I arrived at LC. I would have welcomed
because they need to spend their time passionate about this and I think it grant to kick start the project. During in-depth, collaborative consultations a TEP-like program and I find it valu
earning money," Seagren said. would be in our best interest to preserve_ this time, Detweiler-Bedell hopes to with faculty on one or more course~. Ac able even now."
_ In contrast, Chief Justice Natalie that," Vinlove said. identify the most effective aspects of cording to Robinson Kelly, the teaching Detweiler-Bedell sees potential for
Sounders '19 voiced concern over After discussing the stipend at TEP and what is most helpful to faculty consultants work with faculty on their - growth on both the faculty and student
whether or not an increased stipend length over the course of two weeks, and students. syllabus and course design, assist fac sides·.
would attract the right candidates. If the organization was not able to reach During the TEP's bi-weekly peda ulty with interpreting feedback received "I feel that no matter what your
candidates are attracted to the position a conclusion regarding the realistic gogy lunch on Nov. 13 in J.R. Howard from student evaluations, help faculty experience level is, in terms of teach
due to the financial incentive, Sound possibility of raising the stipend. It also Hall 302; a total of 14 faculty and staff create mid-semester evaluations and ing, there's always so much to learn,"
ers suggests that members may be less still disagreed over whether or not the discussed group work and group-based provide them with continuous mentor Dernreiler-Bedell said.
committed. group should look into a raise any fur projects. Faculty are often inclineq to ing and in teaching.
"Because they see the price tag, it's ther.
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• FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2017
OPINIONS 5
Editorial: ·Angry at satire? Then it's workirtg
The Pioneer-Log's Editor in-Chief discusses satire and the role of student publications on campus
By PETER KRANITZ executed effectively, satire elicits and censoring the piece. In doing so,
strong reactions; indignation and we attempted to silence student voices
!WOULD LIKE to begin by reiterating frustration come with the territory. and shut down important debate about
my statement from -Nov. 4 about My hope for the Backdoor is that the culture of our campus. Fortunate
· the article published in the Back- it can harness these responses and ly, the article had already sparked
door on Nov. 3 titled "New study galvanize individuals into remedying countless conversations across the
finds LC actually has Athletics depart issues that affect the community. community about the divide between
ment." The piece, which was a work of The Backdoor article from Nov. athletes and the rest of campus, as
satire, was not intended to delegit 3 satirized the existing divide be well as about the purpose of sat
imize or denigrate student athletes. tween student athletes and the rest ire and the role of student media.
The Pioneer Log is by and for students of the non-varsity student body, an The· reactions and responses we
and is intended to represent their voic °issue reported on in a factual con received, all of which are printed
es, not to offend or alienate members of text in the Sports section earlier here, are multifaceted and only rep
the campus community. . this semester. The satirical piece in resent a small portion of students'.
That being said, the PioLog is dicated the absurdity of this divide reactions. The Nov. 3 article may be
also intended to inform students of and pointed at ways that "it mani the most effective piece of satire in
issues on and around campus, and fests itself around campus. Some of LC's history.·
one way that this occurs is through the jokes could admittedly be seen
satire. Satire is more than just a series of as offensive, but the majority of the
jokes; to paraphrase a cliche, it holds piece consisted of reasonable criti
a mirror to its subject, reflecting its cism of the way that stiidents at Lewis
warts and imperfections in an exag & Clark interact with each other.
gerated and fictionalized manner. Given this, the backlash against the
It is intended to jolt people out of piece shows that the satire worked.
idle complacency by showing a cari With the benefit of hindsight, I
cature of reality and indicating aspects do not believe that the PioLog re
of it that could be improved. When acted appropriately in retracting
Letters to the editor: students react to Backdoor satire
.
.
tioned. Foradirectquote,i n case you for ·so on. Just as they are no less than I. tive dialogue on the role of athletics As much as I want to dismiss this
To whom it may concern, regard . got because it was _not about student Maybe it is because I do not carry a within the LC student body. issue as a simple misunderst_anding,
ing the satirical Backdoor article, athletes, it said '"This is problematic,' gallon jug.around (weak runner arms, Mo Macsai-Goren quotes Blaze it feels invalidating and insulting
"New study finds LC actually has every SOAN major said before finding am I right?) and understand satire, Looshin as follows: as a satire writer to watch this saga
an Athletics Department," out what was being discussed." As I but I was not offended by this article. "'I really just can't believe it,' unfurl. I am hurt by the fact that. so
read this, I find this more "offensive" To be honest, if you are so mad that Blaze Looshin '21 said. 'Do they ... do many students were so willing to
I am in my second year here at than the rest of this article but for someone mentioned the fact you wear they play other- teams? Why have I denounce the article in its entirety,
Lewis & Clark, I participate in cross some reason I have heard no uproar white socks, you need to realize ·that never been to a game? Do they have launching petty ad hominem attacks
country and track and field. I do not from SOAN majors, but maybe it is the world is bigger than you and your games?'" towards my editor and the PioLog,
speak for the entirety of the athletic because they understand what sat- sport. I cannot tell you how to feel or It is ill_lportant to note that Blaze in junction with the appalling reality
department or every student athlete, • ire is or they know how to joke, even how to react to anything, but the fact Looshin is a fictitious freshman whose that some students didn't even know
but I do offer my one point of view with. how politically correct they can that the student athletes and athletic nonexistent knowledge of the athlet it was satire. Satire's beauty lies in
as a student athlete that I hope oth- be. I think we should all use SOAN department interpreted this satirical ics department serves to demonstrate its ability to grapple with ideas that
• ers share. To start, majors as an ex article completely wrong .to the point tbe shortcomings by non-athletes in can be difficult to approach, and cast
this article is clearly ample. Look upon that they were offended and it had to showing both acknowledgment and issues in a different light. When this
satire. The Backdoor ". .. nowhere in the them an'cl think be taken down is, quite frankly, sad. support of athletics. medium is compromised by ignorance
is a separate entity of article did it insult about how they let As a student athlete, I thought our It is understandable to see how the and uninformed opposition, our work
the PioLog and is "a things roll off their athletic department bred tougher ath commentary could be misconstrued is essentially meaningless and the en
work of humor and the ability or stats backs. They are letes, apparently not. as offensive. There is some light lightenment we strive for will never
fictfon." I have read of any one specific able to laugh and jousting with the stereotypes of-stti be realized. I genuinely hope that the
several satirical Back make fun of them Sincerely, dent athletes, but this jousting is· the outcomes of this. issue lead to more
door articles and this team." selves rather than Keira Crabtree '20 nature of satire, and most of said ste- • students understanding the Back
is not the first time a --------- getting up in arms reotypes were not untrue (I'm proud door's role in campus discourse.
demographic or group and having an article of my white socks, and you should be
at our school has been revoked. They get it. To whom it may concern, too). However, the final line address Best wishes,
satirized or made fun of. If you are They understand satire. ing athletics' official statement as "a Lauren Keegan '20
not an avid reader of The Backdoor, Now I want to address the fact The Lewis & Clark student body's monosyllabic grunt" is indeed deroga I
or even the PioLog, I implore you to that nowhere in the article did it in reaction to Mo Macsai-Goren's most tory to athletics as a whole because it 1
go back and read some of the articles. sult the ability or stats of any one recent Backdoor article can be accu- dra-ws upon the stereotype that ath
For an example, the satirical article specific team. It simply mentioned. rately summed up as an instance of letes are somehow less intelligent than To the Lewis & Clar~ community,
published on Sept. 22 makes fun of the fact that Copeland is known to be shooting the messenger. The article non-athletes. As a student athlete, I was
LC's more outdoorsy, "hippy" demo the hall where athletes reside and that operates under the (unfortunately offended by this statement, and found The Student-Athlete Advisory
graphic, titled: "DID YOU KNOW: typically student athletes like to wear true) assumpti~n that student ath it to be unproductive in the greater Committee (SAAC) would like to take
The Average Lewis·& Clark Student is high white socks. We must all under letes and our athlet-· • dialogue of ex- a moment and reflect on the Pioneer
a 1999 Subaru Outback." Now, obvi stand, we go· to a Division III, small ic department as a "Jt appears that the ploring the role Log's Nov. 3 edition of The Backdoor.
ously our average student is not a car, liberal arts school where sports are whole are underval divide between athletes th1 We appreciate all the hard work that
of a etics at
but Subarus have the connotation of not everyone's number one priority. ueq by the students LC. However,s uch the Pioneer Log does in providing a
being the outdoorsy car so when we Student athletes work hard and put in of Lewis ~ Clark, and non-athletes at LC a ridiculous state voice for students here on campus.
see everyone walking around bare lots of time, and as I read this article I and thaf-there is a ment. is quite ob We would also like to thank them
needs to be addressed."
foot, talking about the hike they are saw no one trying to dispute that fact. division within the viously in jest and for their commitment to fostering an
going to do this weekend, and they all Student athletes have a large work student body between is easily negated environment that is inclusive of all
nappen to drive Subarus, it is funny to load and can be overwhelmed. I know athletes and non-ath- by the fact that members in the Lewis & Clark com
call this out via satire. This is all satire I have been. However, that does not letes. To provide Lewis . & Clark munity.
and its purpose is to make a parody mean that those who do not partici com·mentary on this is a Division III SAAC values the contributions of
out of people and events. If you also pate in sports do not work just as hard phenomenon in a satirical manner, school, meaning that academics are all student interests on and off cam
care for another satirical Backdoor or are not just as overwhelmed, it just its existence is portrayed as virtual emphasized, and athletes don't re pus. We recognize that all students
example, please read, "Tragic: we fed happens to be about other things. ly undetectable in the article. To my ceive scholarships to participate; we may not share the same interests. For
a standard Bon dinner to our mas There are things in people's lives that deep disappointment, most students do so solely for the love of the sport. us, athletics is one of our many inter
cot and it died."·If you read just the are bigger than sports. To be honest, did not understand this notion and It would be constructive to ex- ests. All students at Lewis & . Clark
headline and truly believe that one of no one really cares that student athletes interpreted the article as the concep plore why this adverse reaction hap contribute to the college in numerous
our precious Newfoundlands actually live in Copeland Hall or want to carry tion of aforementioned divide and an pened in the first place. It appears ways - both in and out of the class
ate Bon food and actually died, then gallons jugs, but it is funny to point attack on student athletes as people. that the divide between athletes and room. The various contributions of
I hate to inform ·you that the point out that these are prevalent tropes. This is absolutely false; in no way is non-athletes a.t LC needs to be ad our community are what make Lewis
has been missed once again. In plain Student athletes put themselves on the article's objective commentary a dressed. Perhaps non-athletes feel & Clark so great.
terms,. every a°rticle written by the a pedestal. I run cross country; which direct reflection of personal opinion. shortchanged because they think SAACh opes to continue its commit
Backdoor is satire. . I understand is not the most recog It is the duty of a satirist to adopt a athletes receive special privileges; ment to fostering an open environment
I would also like to point out that nized sport. Football is more exciting new perspective in order to expose perhaps athletes feel frustrated that that is inclusive of all members in the
student athletes were not the only than watching someone ru.n around a the follies of society; Mo's article is no their hard work isn't being viewed as Lewis & Clark Community.
ones mention_ed in this article. To park, but I am still a student athlete. exception. As both a student athlete valid. Squabbling over a joke isn't going
wards the end of the article, SOAN I wo:rk just as bard. I am no less of a and a Backdoor contributor, I am con to fix this, but mutual understanding, Best wishes,
majors, and their sensitive and po student athlete than a student athlete cerned by such an inflamed response constructive discourse and open-minded TheStudent-AthleteAdvismyCommittee
litically correct d_emeanor, are men- who plays golf, football, swims, and to what should have been a construe- ness will.

FRIDAY,N OVEMBER 17, 2017.
6 OPINIONS
English major needs creative writing track
Absence of creative writing focus leaves students _uninterested in studying literary analysis frustrated
By ZOE JENNINGS "(The requirements) help direct
students to classes that we don't think
AS AN ENGLISH major I have they would take otherwise," dole said.
encountered countless jokes, However, I wouldn't take pre-1800
plenty of stereotypes and many Brit-Lit classes on my own because
misguided questions about the useful they're simply not relevant to me and
ness ·of my major. Regardless of all the what I want to do in the future.
skepticism, I am quite content being an I also disagreed with the depart
English major: the curriculum here at ment's vision of the senior seminar.
Lewis & Clark is rigorous and founda "It's to give you a sense of what pro
tional, and I will no doubt learn many fessional· work, professional research
useful skills for life and for my future in this discipline looks like ... how to
career. However, some of the required enter, a conversation about literature
curriculum just doesn't feel relevant to with professionals within the disci
What I want to study and pursue after pline, how to do your own research.
college. Tµat's the trajectory," Cole said.
I don't know exactly what I want to . Is this the best trajectory for ev
do in the future, but I know creative ery English student at LC? It certainly
writing is something that interests and isn't the trajectory I'm aiming for, but
excites me. However, the English cur I will be required to take these classes
riculum at LC-doesn't set me up well to nonetheless. The prescribed goal of the
succeed in a creative writing field. To major alienates those of us interested
be sure, it is very possible to take cre in creative writing from other students
ative writing classes here, and one can who are more interested in literary
learn a lot from each one. history and criticism, as well as from
Due to the sheer number of literary the major itself. I don't feel connected
history classes required, and the few to many of my fellow English majors
other electives we get to take, it is chal- because of this, and it's as though I'm
. lenging for someone like me - who rebelling against the system and my
wants to take creative writing classes teachers by taking creative writing
- to find a way to fit them all into my classes.
major curriculum. This means I will RACHAEL OBERMILLER/PIONEER LOG I came to LC hoping to major in
end up having to take some of these website advertised: "A concentration "concentrations," one can simply take the senior seminar. English with a concentration in writing
creative writing classes as general elec in writing and literature incorporates the three ciasses of their choosing as Department Chair Rachel Cole ex and literature, only to find out that this
tives outside of my major. both creative writing courses and liter their electives, unstructured. plained the rationale of the general is not really possible in the way I had
I am sure the required classes I ature courses according to· a particular Granted, the required English major requirements. been led to believe. Either there should
end up taking will be interesting and student's interest. A concentration in classes provide a solid,· foundational "If you don't know hciw this art be two separate concentrations for En
extremely informative. Nevertheless, British and American literature com education in the traditions of litera form has been used in the past, and you glish which pertain more specifically
it's frustrating that I have to go down bines courses calculated to strengthen ture. We are required to take Major don't know how the artists of today are to what students are interested in, or
one patl1 of study that doesn't suit what the student's understanding of literary Periods 205 and 2q6, which span froni having a conversation with the artists there shouldoeiewer specific,require
I'm interested in, and have to spend history and the major writers in British medieval to the mid 20th century, two of the past, then you're just going to rnents, which just feel restrictive to
my other classes outside of the major and American literature." However, it 300-level pre-1800 British Literature miss so much of the richness of a text," someone like me, so we can tailor our
learning about what I am interested turns out the major curriculum is a just classes, one 300-level American Lit Cole said. I completely agree with her major curriculum to our interests. This·
in. I came here thinking I could have the British and American literature ·erature class, and another 300-level in this respect, but when she touched way, everyone will feel like they belong
an actual concentration in writing - track for everyone, regardless of one's class of our choosing. After that there on why the 300-level classes are re in their major, and can be surrounded
that's what the English department interests. There aren't actually any real· are three electives to take and finally quited, I began to disagree. by other students }ike them.· ,
?
I) o we rea 11v nee d a l-...• 1:,..,:.- ·~ ·at . ; -e_-~,
·-0.1~.;~s.:·,
By ABE FIELD d~cult to come up with any other pos- ine_xperienced: :tiiker ~ bave to· ·firtd
sible destinations for someone riding other, more hilly routes.
- a Zagster bike. Some administrators •O n the other hind; one of the only.
UST OUTSIDE Templeton Carn- may think that the bikes would be use- places that students can safely 'ride
pus Center and Tamarack lounge, a ful for getting to Fred Meyer's or down bikes would be the bike trail that goes
1 w bike rack housing 18 white cruiser to Sellw ood, but I doubt that many stu- from the intersection .of Terwilliger
bikes bas been installed by a company dents will be willing to brave the bridge Road and SW Boones Ferry Road and
called Zagster for a bike share pro- across I-5 or the long climb back up the runs parallel to Terwilliger as it goes
gram. LC already struggles financially hill after a hearty rneai across the riv.er. through Tryon Creek State Park. How
this year, with poor retention rates and One of the biggest flaws of the bike. ever, this bike trail ends 1.8 rnilel>a way
costly infrastructure upgrades loom- share program is that Zagster does not from Lake Oswego, making it another
ing, and does hot need another failed provide cyclists with helmets. In some treacherous ride along slippery roads
program to take us down the wrong states, it is illegal to ride a bike on a with speeding cars. While some stu
path. The bike share program is only street without a helmet, so it is surpris- dents may be interested in riding.bikes
the latest problem to grace campus. ing that the program does not provide through the nature reserve, the best
SARAH BRADBURY/PIONEER LOG The bikes are not practical, safe or cost helmets. It is highly unlikely that a way to see Tryon is by takin_gt he hiking
Maggie's is too costly effective for any LC student. potential Zagster user just happens to trails deep into the forest.
It goes without saying that our be carrying a helmet whsn they come Annual memberships cost $10, and
school is difficult to access via public across the bikes. the rental rate of $1 per hour is sure to
• "I think the meals are well priced, $4 transportation. Trying to catch the Pi- Not only are the possible destina- attract customers. Although these pric-.
By JULIA WARLING isn't bad," Mandi! said. Some students· oneer Express that only runs once per tions limited and impractical, but the es are low, dedicated cyclists will find
even think that the current prices aren't hour can seem daunting. safety of these bikes and the routes a it much more worthwhile to buy their
W ALL LOVE Maggie's. Good much of a problem. Gavin Holdgeriwe, However, a bike share program will rider would take are also an issue. With own bike instead of having to rent one
music, comfortable chairs, a student at the.Lewis & Clark School of not help alleviate any of these issues. a campus that is constantly slippery be- every day. Cyclists will quickly discov
pen late for our midnight Education and Counseling, said that for The possible destinations accessible by cause of rain, it is unthinkable that the er that it is not practical or safe to ride·
cravings and study sessions. We love him, the convenience and quality of the bicycle are limited to the small shop- people who designed this program did these bikes around LC and through the
the food, too - but what's up with the snacks make them worth the price. ping center 1.6 miles from campus that not think of the safety implications of surrounding neighborhoods.
prices? ''Jje don't decide on the prices," is home to Market of Choice, Tryon riding bikes in dangerous conditions. It is unclear whether students will
To be honest, the first time T\Tisited • Checy.LRobertsa, Maggie's worker, said. Creek Bar & Grill, Subway, a Shell sta- In addition, the roads which stu- be able to take these bikes ori the Pi
Maggie's I was blown away at the]iigh.., "We·get the bulk prices from corporate tion and Nectar Cannabis. It is hard to dents would be riding these bikes on oneer _Express in order to ride them
pricetagsonthelatenightoraftefli.oon -• and are told.what·percentages to use, think that a LC student with access to a have very little shoulder where cyciists around downtown. If students . are
treats. For example, a can of Pringles at which then determine the _prices.".· meal plan would make the trek to Mar- are faced with battling traffic that is interested in riding bikes downtown,
Maggie's costs $3-40 vs. $.1.39f or a can I am a big fan of the fait that Mag-" ket of Choice for expensive wine and often busy and moving at around 35 they are better off renting the Nike
of the same size at Fred Meyer. As col- gie's is just a five minute willk'.from my cheeses. miles per hour. Even experienced cy- bikes which have locking stations all
lege students, we have limited funds to dorm. Without Maggie's, f'p~uld -Iiav'e;:, Other than the small selection of clists will find that biking on road with arouria the city. It's hard to see how the
spend on food.due to the steep tuition no way to get a late night sn_-ck.1 'js the options in this shopping center, it is a small shoulder is harrowing, so an Zagster bike share benefits students.
costs. • Pioneer Express's last roun'd dep11rts.
However, corning in as a new stu campus around 9:30 p.m: on the week
dent this year, I have no experience days, a reward for completing a long,
with how the prices at Maggie's used to difficult study session would bave to
be. So to get a more informed opinion, wait until at least the next day, if not
I talked to some other members of the later.
campus community, both undergrad Even so, Fred Meyer is only acces
uate and graduate students, as well as sible on weeknights, f<:ircings tudents
Lisa Rueth, this. year's German Lan to pay large amounts of money for last
guage Assistant. minute food on campus. Maggie's can
"Very expensive, too expensive. effectively charge us whatever they
They aren't student prices, like a norm.al want, which is unfair. Because of bus
cafe," Rueth said, scheduling, we are forced to either wait
Quinn Murley '20 said that he un for food until at least the ·next day, or
derstood why the prices were so high, buy from Maggie's, causing us to spend·
but it would be nice if tliey were a iittle large amounts of money. The conve:
less. - nience of Maggie's is great, but it's hard •
In my opinion, as a freshman expe to justify the prices. •
a
riehcing Maggie's for the first time, the I'm glad to have M_aggie's. It's
snack prices are pretty high - $6.oo for place to relax and do homework.after.a _ •
just a pint of Ben & Jerrys Ice Cream, _ long day, or to get a decently priced din- ,
compared to just $3.50 at theiocal·:F&·d nerwhen the Bon hours don't work out
Meyer. But I think the dinners are set at with my schedule. It's a place to unwind
a fair price: $4.50 for a frankly delicious with friends after a tiring day. Even so,
• sandwich. Michal Mandi! '19 agreed. the -prices are too steep for my budget. LEXIE BOREN/PIONEER LOG
With few destinations within biking distance and safety hazards, it's hard to see how students will use the new bike share.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2017
FEATURES 7
Family Falls offer a glimpse at Oregon's past
By SHAWN "SHAGGY'' • of a mile. Upon reaching the obvious
BOLKER Ogle Mountain Trail, head left to find
a sweeping view of Henline Creek
• IMAGINE STANDINGi n Multnomah Canyon. Upon reaching this view,
Creek canyon in the Columbia River immediately veer off trail downhill
gorge some 500 years ago. There are towards the creek. This part is steep
no trails, no litter, no signs of people and brushy - take the path ofleast re
• whatsoever - only mossy rainforest, sistance. Upon reaching the creek, rock
towering basalt cliffs and waterfall af hop upstream to the first of the Family
ter waterfall roaring in misty isolation. Falls, Jerry Falls. This falls is the tall
Although you are clearly not the first est of the Family Falls; rushing over a
one _here, as people.have· been living gnarled basaltic outcrop into a shallow,
in the area for thousands of years, a rocky pool. Bypass this falls on the left
sense of discovery remains. Such is the by climbing up a steep and rocky hill
essence of experiencing a waterfall in side. Upon reaching the top of Jerry
its most raw, authentic and untouched Falls, be sure to scramble right back
spleO:dor.A t Family Falis, one can get to the stream as this is where the true
this ever so rare experience. beauty of Family Falls unfolds. Here,
Family Falls is a series of seven one can see a picture-perfect view of
waterfalls tucked away in the upper Mark and Dan Falls stacked on top of
reaches of Henline Creek Canyon in the. one another, each falling into emerald
Opal Creek Wilderness. In this isolated blue pools. Mark and Dan are arguably
canyon, the waterfalls are nearly end the most scenic of the Family Falls and
less - each falls pours into the next as well worth some time.
Henline Creek races towards the Little The trekking only gets harder as one
North Santiam River. Although it seems continues upstream. It is a steep and
as though a place like this would be far slippery climb up this rocky creek. The
away from any signs of civilization, it is waterfalls are shaggy, however, and this
actually only one mile from the Henl1ne canyon is splendid. Upon reaching the
Falls Trailhead - a • uppermost falls,
popular hiking des The name "Family retrace your steps
tination within the Falls" • was coined by coming b_ackd own
well-known Opal stream. Be sure to
Creek Wilderness. Salem author Maynard remember when
It is a steep and Drawson, who named to head back up to
treacherous mile the Ogle Mountain
with no trail most each waterfall after one Trail, it is wise to
of the way, many of his seven children. ' build .a • marker at
stream crossings, this point to not get
plenty of elevation lost.
gain and lots of fallen logs to scramble The name "Family Falls" was coined
over. A map, GPS and plenty of water is by Salem author Maynard Drawson,
recommended. who named each waterfall after one of
Begin hiking on the Henline Falls his seven children. Drawson was an avid
Trail, a wide and well-maintained path explorer of wild places and was the first
through peaceful groves of Douglas Firs. to officiallyd ocument these falls some 50
Note the spur trail that heads steeply up years ago. He took pictures of each falls •
the mountain about a half mile in: this and wrote about them in Salem's news
is the route to the "family" of falls. If one paper, The Capital Journal. He even
is impatient to see Family Falls, by all petitioned for the .Oregon Geographic
means take this trail, but I would rec Names Board to make his names for
ommend stopping at Henline Falls first. these falls official and include them on
Henline Fa:llsi s the lowermost waterfall maps of the Santiam River Watershed.
along Henline Creek and arguably the After several years of debate, however,
most spectacular. Here, Henline Creek his names were rejected and the falls
plunges almost 50 meters over a mas sank back into obscurity.
sive wall of basalt into a crystalline pool Upon Drawson's 's death in 2012,
below. On sunny days, the rainbows the "Family Falls" naming issue re
that this waterfall creates are miami - mained unresolved. However, shortly
some of the most well-defined rainbows after his death, the Forest Service con
of any waterfall I've seen. There is also side~ed building a trail here and in
SHAWN BOLKER/ PIONEER LOG
an abandoned mining tunnel here in the cluding the falls cin maps. This idea was
Henline Falls, the lowermost waterfall along Henline Creek, can be found on a trail adjacent to the well-known Family Falls.
cliff.n ext to the falls that warrants ex quickly scrapped, as the Forest Service
ploration. A gate prevents visitors from realized that building a trail would re
wandering more than 20 meters in. quire the construction of several bridg
After being properly awed by Hen es and blasting portions of the trail
line Falls, backtrack about 300 meters into solid basalt cliffs. This potential
.to the spirr trail mentioned earlier. This trail would've cost a 1great deal of mon
path breaks off to the left and wastes no ey, damaged the canyon with increased
time heading uphill. This route inter erosion and the degrading impacts that
sects the well-defined Ogle Mountain· come along with increased visitation. So,
Trail after gaining several hundred ver::. as of now, the names remain unofficial
tical feet of elevation in under a quarter and the canyon remains wild.
Students get geared up with the Bike Share & Co-·op
ByEVALOVE "Biking itself is a great way to save tions Amy Dvorak said. "If people
money because you don't have to pay just want to get down to Market of i
1
W:H THE Bike Co-Op, Cy for gas or buy a car," Malloy said. "But Choice or downtown, that was kind
ng Club and the new bike then you do have to worry about if of our focus, ·not the hardcore cy
are program on campus, parts break, and that's why we have the clists but the group who will ride
it is clear that bike culture at Lewis & Bike Co-Op because. we don't charge occasionally but not necessarily ev
Clark is expanding. These organizations for labor. So if you eryday."
and programs are. intended to make get a flat the most "I want the Co-Op to • Dvorak hopes
biking even more accessible and af you have to pay for primarily function that Zagster will
fordable to students who may be less a new tube is three expose newer cy
as a . resource for
experienced cyclists. dollars, which is a lot clists to biking and
The Bike Co-Op is a student-run cheaper than going to low-income students eventually get more
organization that aims to make bike a regular bike shop. and people who lfke students to take ad
maintenance accessible and affordable I want the Co-Op to ·to bike" vantage of the re-
to students of all cycling backgrounds. primarily function as sources and oppor
George Shoemaker '18 and Johnny a resource for low-in tunities available at
Malloy '18, the primary coordinators for come students and Johnny Mallory '18. the Bike Co-Op and
the Bike Co-Op, want more students to people· who like to Cycling Club.
utilize the Co-Op and its resources. bike and want to learn more about how "If you get to that point after
"The Bike Co-Op is a room full of their bike works." the bike share where you want your
new and used bike parts, as well as For students who are interested in own bike, then the Bike Co-Op and
professional tools and materials," Shoe biking but do not have a bike of their Cycling Club would be helpful re
maker said. "As an organization, we own, the Sustainability Office recently sources to gain general knowledge
are a group ·of student volunteers who partnered with Zagster - the leading about travel and safety;'' Dvorak
are available to help fellow cycl_ists North American bike sharing company said. "If we ·can flip people from
with their bikes." - to install their bike share program being occasional users of the bike
• The Bike Co-Op is located on the on campus. share •t o really getting into bike
west side of J.R., Howard Hall near "Our intent was to support students culture, biking and working with
Pamplin Sports Center. Anyone can who are here from other places, na Co-Op and Club on training and
volunteer at the Bike Co-Op; having· tionally or internationally, so that they maintenance that would be a really
previous experience with bikes is not can use the bikes here," Senior Direc •g reat goal and benefit to the stu MAGGIE BEUTLER/ PIONEER LOG
necessary. tor of Sustainability and Communica- dent body as a whole." LC's biking community is growing thanks to student organizations like Cycli11gC lub.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2017
s-
FEATURES
Worst Homewo-r·k Excuses
Faculty share ways that students have avoided assignments
By JULIA WARLING afterwards, he told me that he had come that this student had been using the
. down;with food poisoning from eating same excuse evezy time he didn't want
THERE ARE. A number of rea something bad the night before." to take a test.
sons why a student decides "At some point after that, a I was "So !told him ... that he had another
not to finish their assignment standing in line somewhere with cou exam coming up and that he needed to
on time. Maybe they're tired, maybe ple of other members of the faculty and be very careful about the food choices
they're hungry or maybe they just . . . we were talking about foods and I that he made before the exam so he was
can't focus. said, 'I had a student who came down sure not to come down with food poi
But some students come up with with food poisoning right before an soning again," Clifton said.
elaborate excuses to avoid telling their exam and couldn't take it,"' Clifton said. Adjunct Faculty member Read.Mc
professors the truth. "The professor that I was talking with faddin also had a funny story to tell
"I "did have a time when a student _ said, 'I had the same thing happen last about a death in a student's family.
was supposed to take an exam in one semester with a student,' and then the "I had a friend who, as a Teaching
of my upper division Biology courses guy in front of me said 'I had a student Fellow (TF), had a student who said
and he didn't show up," Ken Clifton, come down with food poisoning just a that their grandmother had died," Mc
Professor of Biology and Department couple weeks ago."' faddin said.
Chair said. "When I checked with him In that moment, Clifton realized Th!! TF felt sorry for the student's
family, so to be kind, he sent the fam
ily flowers and a card. However, it
was never revealed whether or not the
grandmother actually died. .
• "If the grandmother was not dead,
the family's going to be very confused," ,1
Mcfaddin said. "if the grandma did in
fact die, this guy comes off smelling like
roses, no pun intended. But the idea
was that here's this nice TF, thinking
about this family in this time of crisis."
One of French Instructor Natalie
Stamper's students failed to turn il)
their assignment on time. •H owever,
Stamper said that the student had a le "L e
gitimate excuse. past co o call the vir initree.
"I had a student whose mother went 4\alwa:ys ()
into labor. the night before the home ich'' s
work was due," Stamper said. m e
There are days where it seems im s a 1 a
possible to get any work done, and as bes. ai .. s ocaed
the sun rises on the due date or the·
day of the big test, some students
turn to the last and final option - the
lie.
Once a decision has been made
not to tell the truth, creativity for ex
cuses knows no bounds; that's why
the_ "dog ate my homework" excuse
has become so trivial.
SARAH BRADBURY/PH?NEER LOG
1• ,, <>rAD\.iE~TISEMENJ,,
niper.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2017
FEATURES.
9
RACHAEL OBERMILLER/PIONEER LOG
One popular legend among LC students is the story of the Bon ice cream theft. Acording to legend, a student stole an entire carton of ice cream from the Bon. No one knows who, or how they managed to pull it off.
Urban Legends at LC: what's tr.ue, what's fake
Ghosts in the Manor house? Love in the library? Here are some of the most bizarre legends about LC
By MACKENZIE BATH with a bachelor's degree in psychology. • the tales. No one has died in the Man Waldo on the sign in sheet." while few people were in the building.
"Monica was a transfer student to or House, according to public internet "When you're there late by yourself The student and their partner were -in
STORIES FLOAT around Lewis & Lewis & Clark and never lived on cam police records and "Lewis & Clark Col while you'i:e working on stuff he just one of the study rooms, but didn't spec
Clark's campus about the things pus," Director of Housing and.Orienta lege," a book by Stephen Dow Beckham kinda flickers lights, buzzes equipment ify which one.
that have happened here. They're tion Sandi Bottemiller said. _. on the history of the LC campus. and ruffles curtains," Mia Convery '19
a pait of who we are, and it's-time to said. "You have to leave the ghost light Myth: A student
find out which myths are truth and Myth: A ghost haunts the Myth: The theater is home to a on for him and always say goodnight stole two whole pies from the
which are fiction. The myths described Frank Manor House ghost when y9u leave." Bon
below are from my personal experience The Legend: There are "I've The Legend: Waldo is "If you just yell 'We're doing art!' The Legend: There have been many
listening to LC legends. multiple stories about had sex in a ghost that haunts Fir then tlie noises stop," Delaney Bloom legends about Fields Dining Hall (the
a ghost in the Manor the library once... Acres theater: As a stu- quist !18 said. "Wal(:loa_p preciates art." Bon). Two of the more common leg
Myth: The dorm room and res House, which is one of dent who spends a lot" ends involve the theft of a whole
idence hall of Monica Lewinsky the oldest buildings on I wouldn't rec- of time in the theater, Myt:4: People have had sex in . carton of ice cream and a cereal dis
The Legend: Rumor has it that Moni campus._O ne story tells comend it" I have heard about Watzek Library p.enser.
ca Lewinsky '93, the infamous alumna of a campus safety offi- Waldo many times. It The Legend: Some students have made A couple of students say th~y heard
' of LC, lived in Platt Hall during her cer who saw a ghostly is bad luck to say "Mac- their way into Watzek library after of someone walking out of the dining
time at LC. After graduating from LC, woman on the stairs Anonymous beth" in a theater, and hours (and some during operational hall with two entire pies on one of the
Lewinsky worked as an intern at the who disappeared be- some say that those hou_rs)t o spend some quality time with days when Bon Appetit stepped up
White House, and became famous af fore his eyes. Another story describes who say "Macbeth" in Fir Acres are their partners. their dessert game. I was among people
ter having an affair with President Bill the ghosts of laughing children in the haunted by a ghost. The Facts: One student has admitted to who had heard the tale.
Clinton while he was in office. The ex basement. These stories com'e from The Facts: For each production at Fir having intercourse in Watzek, but has The Facts: Illia Hayes '19 was a witness _
act room is debated, but many students some of the employees of the Manor Acres, Waldo's name is included on the asked to remain anonymous so as to to the stolen pies.
have claimed to live in the hall ·Lewin House, who asked to remain anony- sign in sheet along with the rest of the escape repercussions for their actions. "I walked back into my' dorm one
sky used to live in. Some students have mous. crew, and always signs in. "I've had sex in the library once," day, and there they were," Hayes said.
even claimed to live in her old dorm The Facts: No two stories about a Man- "That was one of the first things the student said. "I wouldn't recom This happened two years ago, in Octo
room. or House ghost are the same, which they told us as stage managers," Car mend i\." ber of 2015. The culprit has never been
The Facts: Lewinsky graduated in 1993 • casts some doubt over the accuracy of oline Wilkes '20 said. "We had to put The act took place late at night, caught.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2017
ARTS
10
·The disappointing ret.urn of Stranger-Things.
. . .
By MACKENZIE BATH grows on the audience as the season he can kill one with the help of Steve
progresses. Herrington (Joe Keery) and his trusty
Warning: Spoilers ahead The evil is the same as it was in nail-studded baseball bat. Speaking
season one. Most of the characters have of Steve, he is a shining light in this
PEOPLE BINGED the first season experienced the Upside Down before, season. His character development is
of "Stranger Things" in less than but no one is really discussing their fun and exciting to watch, as he goes
a week. It sparked countless shared past. There is a certain look and from barely liked to heroic.
cosplays, niemes, halloween costumes feel to things from the Upside Down,. Audiences fell in love with the El who
and other expressions of love. People and all the mysterious happenings would do anything for her friends, and
raved about the loveable characters, in the beginning of season two have who shared a special bond with Mike
the talented young cast and the show's that look and feel: shadowy darkness, (Finn Wolfhard). El has mostly her own
unending susp_ense.N etflix took hold of floating particles and, for the audience's storyline for the majority of the season.
the imm~nse. popularity of their show benefit, suspenseful music. Curiously, It is interesting, but doesn't have a place
and gave the green light for season Hopper (David Harbour) and the other in a mystery show. Her backstory and
two. The season was released· in its characters don't put that together. development as a daughter could have
entirely on Oct. 27 in honor qf the Season one was commended for been one episode, or perhaps a special.
spooky holid_ayt hat followed. Despite showing the monster early on in !fie the way her backstory was done takes
the Netflix countdown and the intense show.M ost scary shows rely on the mystery awayf rom the drivingp lot, and takes El out
hype for the show, it did not explode in of an·unknownv illain,b ut the demogorgon of all the action. She no longer helps her
popularity as the first season did. was identified very quickly. Season friends with her. abilities, and she isn't
The events of .this new season take two followed this pattern, and it fighting to save them for the majority of
place about a year after we last saw the wasn't as ~ffective because showing the season.
residents of Hawkins, Indiana. There us the monster didn't give us any The main issue the characters
are many things this season did well, new information. The demogorgon faced in season one was the lack of
but because of the excitement and was straightforward, unlike the new communication between groups: the
expectations, it fell short of what many monster. There was a shadow monster boys and El, Joyce (Winona _Ryder)
fans hoped. Still, it was a great second • that only Will could see, and that didn't and Hopper, Nancy (Natalia Dyer) and
season for a beloved show. tell the audience anything about the Jonathan (Charlie Heaton). Season two
Season two introduces some new kind of threat they were facing. Yes, this presented the same problem, except
characters to join the cast. This includes ups the mystery, but almost to the point worse. The boys no longer communicate
Dart, who is a seemingly innocent slug of confusion. There is no obvious threat about big things going on, and. they're
that Will Beyers (Nqah Schnapp) threw that the villainous force poses, except in a fight about Max. Will, Joyce and
up at the end of season one that turned perhaps the destruction of crops. Mike team up pretty early on, and
out to be a baby demogorgon. The The Upside Down developed a new Hopper and El have -been in cahoots
·most notable addition is Max (Sadie trait: an aversion to heat. It also seems for sorrie time. Jonathan and Nancy
Sink). Max is the spunky redheaded to have lost the fact that it is upside team up just as they did last season, not
girl who's joining the kid crew. Max's down, and is now merely·underground. bothering to tell anyone about their
brother, Billy (Dacre Montgomery), is In fact, almost everything learned about plans. While the new season is fun and
a mysterious and creepy high school the Upside Down in the first season brings back the characters we love
guy. They seem to want the audience is either irrelevant or forgotten. For and root for, it isn't as binge-worthy as
to be invested in Max and her family, instance, they were only able to kill the its predecessor. It's a known fact that
but there's too much that's unresolved demogorgon wjth the help of Eleven American television will go on for many
with the characters we already love for (Millie Bobby Brown), yet Dustin more seasons than it should. When will
us to put our energy into that. Still, Max (Gaten Matarazzo) seems to think "Stranger Things" come to an end?
KAT BARTON/PIONEER LOG
Fall in love with ·these pecans
By EMILY DAVIS Fahrenheit. bowl and stir until everything is
2. Pour pecans into a large bowl and evenly coated.
LL, IT'S OFFICIALLY that set aside. 7. Pour coated pecans onto a cookie
me of year. Leaves are 3. Mix the sugar (if you choose to sheet and spread evenly.
hanging, the air is crisp and include brown), salt and cinnamon 8. If you find that you have extra
the need for holiday treats is upon us. together in a bowl and set aside. sugar at the bottom of the bowl,
My family is from the South, and a true Feel free to mess around with the either discard or sprinkle over
delicacy for us during Thanksgiving is measurements; I personally like to pecans once they are OJ) the baking
candied pecans. This recipe is simple, add more cinnamon! sheet.
easy and can be thrown together in a 4. In a.small bowl (or cup, whatever 9. Put pecans into oven and cook for
dorm kitchen! you have on hand),' combine the one hour, stirring them around
egg white and water and whisk every 15 to 20 minutes. This
What you'll need: until the mixture is frothy. Note: ensures that they bake evenly and
• 1 lb. bag of halved pecans I rise a whisk, but using a fork don't ·clump together. This isn't
• 1eggwhite works fine too. It doesn't have to a hard and fast rule, but I would
• 1 tbsp. of water be perfectly frothy, just keep going recommend stirring at least once
• 1 cup of white sugar until it's more froth than liquid. while they cook. Just pop open the
• 1 tsp. of salt 5. Pour the whisked egg and water oven and push them around a bit!
• 1 tbsp. of cinnamon over the pecans in the large. bowl
Optional: and mix around until the pecans By cooking them at a Tow heat for an
• Extra cinnamon are coated. This helps the dry hour, the sugar caramelizes on the
• Brown sugar ingredients stick and creates the pecans and once they are ready you are
"candied" effecfon the pecans. left with a crunchy, sweet treat! Enjoy!
Directions: 6. After the pecans are coated, add
1. Preheat oven to 250 degrees the dry ingredients mixture to the
EMILY DAVIS/PIONEER LOG
Sweet pecans are·a simple and easy treat to make not only during the holidays, but - perhaps more importantly - during finals.

FRIDAYN, OVEMBER1 7, 2017
ARTS 11
"Search· Party" is the sharpest satire on TV
Dory and her self-absorbed millenial friends investigate the mysterious disappearance of Chantal
By DREW MATLOVSKY
IN THE SATURATED world of
police procedurals, snarky sit-corns
and the ever popular HBO-stylized
"prestige" shows, the world of television
• often feels predictable, to 'the point
of dullness. "Search Party," however,
appears to follow a different form. •
On the surface, it's a mystery· about a
missing girl, Chantal, and our heroine
Dory who attempts to find her. Of
course, from here the typical rubric for
. a murder mystery show devolves. Dory
(Alia Sbawkat) barely knew Chantal, an
acquaintance from college, who she has
not seen in six years: Her self-righteous
quest to prove that Chantal is still alive
stems from her own personal issues
rather than anything else. Early on, she
asks the question: "Would anyone even
care if something bad h~ppened to me?"
Which in the conte~ of "Search Party"
is to be taken more philosophically than
literally. Dory's search for meaning as
an apathetic millennial living in New
-¥ark City compels her on this quest
to find Chantal. This is where "Search
Party" really hits its stride, as we start
to realize that beyond the trappings of a
mystery procedural, the show is really
a satirical dig at millenriials.
Dory and her friends are conceited
and narcissistic, concerned more with
their mundane post-college existence
than anything else. Upon hearing of
Chantal's disappearan·ce, the question
"who is she again?" is immediately
1
asked, then a murmuring of "thoughts
and prayers" by the group over brunch
as they immediately return to another PHOTO COURTESY OF WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
subject. Yeah, it's that accurate. Among . Alia Shawkat (center) leads the cast as Dory. From left to right, she is supported by Meredith Hagner, John Early, Bra_ndonM icheal Hall, and John Reynolds.
Dory's companions there is Drew,
(John Reynolds) her. man-child of a goings of these friends, and particularly as if they're attending a monochromatic Chantal's disappearance unravels, the •G irls' grew up and inadvertently
boyfriend; Portia, (Meredith Hagner) the tension between Drew and Dory as fashion party rather than wearing show maintains a nuanced approach, attempted to solve a mystery?" Of
Dory's even more conceited friend; and her quest for finding Chantal uproots something more respectable and weaving in moments of dark humor course this is a niche question, but as
Elliot,-(John Early) whose narcissism , the status q_uoo f their relationship. Chantal's a capella group from college • with dramatic tension and biting satire, Mark Waters ~-nd Tina· Fey ;provided
as tiie g;oup~ ster:otypicai g'ay"f riend Of course, such despicable characters performs a rendition of Kfilly'Cl'arkson's each "elementnever overshacfowrng the - a genuine_ par9,dy of ~.uburban high
holds no bounds. Dory's ex, Justin, allow for a deeply satirical show. At "Since 'u Beeri Gone." All characters are other. school life, ''Search Party" carries on
(Brandon Micheal Hall) a1so shows the vigil for Chantal, twenty-year naturally unaware of the ridiculousness Perhaps indirectly, "Search .Party'' this spirit by lampooning the early
up from time to time as weiJ. "Search olds are seen with pins that display of their actions, which plays out for grim answers the question, "What would postgraduate years. It just happens to
Party" focuses on the comings and "#IAmChantal," Portia and Elliot dress comedic effect. As the mystery behind happen if the characters from 'Mean involve a missing girl.
New All Pigs Must Die albu.11i1s a violently.viscious treat
By GABE COMMISSARIS riffs and solos are structured that he is
working his magic on this album. There
NO CHIROPRACTORw ill be able are also plenty of melodies mixed in with
to undo the damage done to your the riff barrage, though not the light and
neck after you've experienced relaxing kind you hear from bands like
"Hostage Animal." This underground In Frames. These melodic sections make
Massachusetts grindcore/crust-punk/ you feel as though you are experiencing
sludge crossover act has really outdone unbearable agony. Many of these
themselves this time around. This is sections can be found on the slower
the third full-length effort by All Pigs and more dramatic tracks mentioned
Must Die (APMD) and it is by far their earlier. The drums mix well with the
heaviest-and most dynamic. Before this • guitar work while also providing some
release, APMD sounded like any other very catchy fills and other memorable
band within this sub-genre, which is dynamics. This is actually one of the
why they have avoided the spotlight. areas where APMD differs slightly from
This may change, however; this time other bands within this sub-genre. You
around they have managed to find a won't bear much technicality within
sound that works for therri and have this kind of music, but this band is-one
created a far more dynamic .. and • of the few exceptions. Their drummer
memorable album than their previous delivers some true beatdowns that the
efforts. If you like Nails, Trap ·Them, genre is.known for, but at the same
Converge or any other sludge/hardcore time be' shows tpat be is more than
crossover band, then you will enjoy this just a grindcore. drummer. My one
album. criticism of the drums is that the snare
The first thing to note is that the and cymbals are so loud it sometimes
music is extremely brutal. Listening blocks ciut the double kick and . can
to "Hostage Animal" is the equivalent sound a little unbearable. The double
to having a shotgun blast go off inches kick is an essential component to any
away from your head. The band's slight type of extreme metal music and should
lineup change and record label have a not take the backseat in any situation.
lot to do with this. "Hostage Animal" As for the vocals, Kevin Baker sounds
was once again produced by Southern extremel:x-pissed off at all times. With
Lord Records, masters at punishing the ·APMD vocal style; he is able to
your eardrums when it comes to deliver some truly menacing shouts
producing hardcore and punk music. while . also being understandable.
They really nailed it with this· one. The It's good to be able to understand
sound is crisper and clearer than ever what the vocalist is saying, especially
while still sounding menacing in nature. when the album's lyrical themes are
It's not just the sound that has been interesting.
pushed to a new magnitude, however. The tracks on "Hostage Animal"
The songwriting sounds better than revolve around the concept of
ever. There is a great mix of song types, humanity's cruelty towards its own
which gives "Hostage Animal" enough species. Lyrical themes have to do with
variety to prevent it from sounding to HOSTAGE slavery, enforcement, revenge, fea~,
similar to their previous efforts. There ANIMAL etc. The amount of sheer brutality and
are tracks like "A Caustic Vision," aggression found on "Hostage Animal"
"Cruelty Incarnate" and "Moral Purge" fits these themes well. Overall, this is a
PHOTOC OURTESYO F SOUTHERNL ORDR ECORDS
- songs of pure aggression - and then fantastic new effort by APMD that fans
there are tracks like "Slave Morality" this is where the APMD's songwriting , . The individual performances are all _• steel factory. The addition of Trap Them of hardcore and metal will rejoice to
and "Heathen Reign" which are slower, is at its strongest. You can tell that very well done. The guitarists dish out guitarist Brian Izzi to the lineup was a bear. If you can withstand the beatdown
sludge-influenced songs. The latter are . each member of the band is giving it all an onslaught of riffs and grooves that smart move, as he is used to unleashing that is this album, then you may find
the high points of "Hostage Animal," as they've got on these songs. sound like they were recorded i_nsidea pure carnage. You can tell by the way the yourself enjoying it as well.

♦
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2017
ARTS
12
"Thor" and "Orient Express" toy with formulas
Brendan's periodic guide to best-selling blockbusters, low-budget indie flicks and everything in between
By BRENDAN NAGLE
Thor: Ragnarok
SEVENTEEN FILMS IN, it's easy
to feel exhausted by the ma
chine that is the Marvel Cine
matic Universe. The past half-decade
has seen Marvel consistently churn
ing out two to three films every year.
"Thor: Ragnarok" is the third release
so far this ye.ir. While "Ragnarok"
does not totally eschew the formula
of its 16 predecessors, it is a refresh
ing entry in the Marye! oeuvre. Fol
lowing the mediocre reception of the.
first two "Thor" installments, Marvel
decided to take a chance on the third,
hiring New Zealand comedian Taika
Waititi to direct. Waititi is perhaps
best known, for directing the hilari
ous vampire mockumentary "What
We Do In The Shadows," and his
comedic sensibilities are on full dis
play here. While Marvel movies are
no stranger to humor, none have felt
this much· like, a straigqt-up comedy.
The story is rather uncomplicated:
Thor (Chris Hemsworth) gets trapped
on the trash planet Sakaar, ·run by a PHOTO COURTESY OF GOOGLE CREATNE COMMONS
demented slave owner called the Grand
master (a delightful :Jeff Goldblum), on its own, but•with "Murder o,n the Some have criticized Branagh for the task o.f remaking a beloved mov the group, but also the powerful com
and needs ·to escape in order to save ·Orient Express,'' directed by Kenneth failing to add anything new in his re ie based on an even more beloved munity that the organization has created.
Asgard from siege by his evil sister Hela Branagh and based on Agatha Chris working. This is not entirely true. book is no simple feat. It's difficult to As almost every member of ACT UP is
(Cate Blanchett). In the hands of an tie's famous mystery novel of the same There are quite a few details that he incorporate fresh ideas while staying HIV positive (and even the ones that
other director the plot might be treated name, it seems rather apt to make com messes with. For example Colonel .t rue to the source material. But then aren't are treate9-by the public as if
with more consequence, but Waititi parisons. The best-known adaptation is Arbuthnot, played previously_b .y~ ean one cannot help but wonder: why try they are), they are forced to rely oi:i
uses it primarily as a vehicle for Thor without a doubt Sidney Lumet's 1974 Connery, is now played by Odom Jr., . to make the film in the first place? each other. Even the larger gay com
(and later his "Avengers" teammate film. The new version opens strongly a black man. But most of the changes munity shuns them out of fear. Though
Hulk) to go on a zany adventure. The with a scene not present in the 1974 that be makes are either superficial 120 Beats Per Minute eventually a central couple emerges
movie is anchored by its stellar cast,· film, in which detective Hercule Poirot like Arbuthnot's race, which is barely Taking place in the early '90s, "120 (Arnaud Velois and the superb Na
many of whom one would not expect to (Kenneth Branagh) ingeniously solves addressed and seems rather arbitrary Beats Per Minute" looks in on an HIV/ huel Perez Biscayart), community
find in a Marvel movie. I already men the robbery of a priceless religious or actively detrimental Oike the lack AIDS activist group called ACT UP seems to always be the primary focus.
tioned Goldblum, who is at his best as artifact in Jerusalem. It's excit of character development and the Paris. There seems no one better to "BPM" is unafraid to focus on the
a twitchy alien overlord, but Blanch ing and sets up the central character boring score). If there is any s_uccess tell the story than writer and director unglamorous details of.HIV advocacy,
ett, Anthony Hopkins, Idris Elba, rather well, though unfortunately ful change, it might be in visual style. Robert Campillo, who was himself a like debates about slogans or deci
Tessa Thompson, Tom Hiddleston, the film goes downhill from there. The film is shot with 65mm cameras member of ACT UP. Though the film phering new medical research. The
Hemsworth. and even Waititi himself Like Lumet's film, Branagh's version and has moments of cinematographic is fiction, one could mistake it for doc film is shamelessly political, as are its
in a voice-acting role, keep "Ragnarok" is star-studdoo. WillemD afue,D aisyR idley, splendor, but the visual compositions umentary, at least at first. Campillo characters. When living with HIV, the
afloat. Waititi's full embrace of the fun, JudiD ench, Johnny Depp, Leslie Odom are often undermined by odd CGI ef utilizes a handheld, cinema verite style personal and the political are impossi
comic book-y side of "Thor" should be Jr., Michelle Pfeiffer, Penelope Cruz fects that don't quite fit. However, (not dissimilar to the French drama ble to separate. Even the discotheques
a breath of fresh air for superhero fans. and, of course, Branagh himself, make though, Branagh's gravest misstep is "The Class," which he co-wrote), which which the characters frequent, usually
up the eccentric cast of characters tonal. The bizarre cast of characters places the viewer in the middle of the ac spaces of abandon and freedom, be
Murder on the Orient Express aboard the Orient Express. But unlike and even the mystery itself are meant tion. Much of the story is told through come difficult to distinguish from the
When analyzing remakes it is some in Lumet's•fiJm, none of them (besides to be ridiculous to a degree, yet the lengthy procedural scenes that show sites of their protests. "BPM"i s a powerful
times more fruitful to ignore previous Branagh and perhaps Pfeiffer) really film takes a much too serious approach the inner workings of ACT UP's meet and compassionate story that reso
versions and let the new film stand get a chance to show off their abilities. which simply doesn't work. Admittedly, ings. We see the messy infighting of nates despite the time in which it'~ set.
Modest Mouse's "The Lonesonie Crowded West" at 20
i .
The PNW natives' sophomore LP celebra·tes two decades of influencing the indie rock landscape
By RAY FREEDMAN for the record_is one of its finest gems. there is every kind of rock demograph
"Trailer Trash" is one of the most hon ic present. It's odd, just like the blend
0 N NOV. 18, Modest Mouse's est tracks in Modest Mouse's discog of influences felt through the band's
beautiful and rough album raphy. Brock's lyrics and storytelling m1,1sicatle ndencies. With this album,
"The Lonesome Crowded tend to be more consistently fiction Modest Mouse cemented themselves
West" turns 20. Like tnany people al, but on "Trail- as a canonized
. born around the mid '90s, just when er Trash" it feels band and it's as if
Modest Mouse was getting start more personal. With this album, Modest they knew it. Their
ed, I grew up hearing of them - not }le si'ngs, "And I Mouse cemented them- folJowing albums,
really recognizing their presence shout that you're though fantastic,
in the musical lexicon. I just knew all fakes,'' with selves as a canonized are more produced
that song on the radio, "Float On." a sad inflexion, band and it's as if they and refined. "The
I didn't give the band a serious while in the back Lonesome Crowd-
listen until a friend of mine bothered ground there is knew it. ed West" is a
me enough about it. At the time, it take of him shout record that is des
was typical of me to take multiple ing "Fakes!" -It perately holding
trips to the desert throughout the isn't fancy. Brock's on to a certain lay
• year - to just drive a few hours east honesty is a man's eagerness.
of LA and get away. Once I heard "The need more than a desire, and it's "God takes care of himself, and
Lonesome Crowded West,'' it was al what makes the album accessible. you of you,'' are some of the final lines
ways my go-to album on the drive. For raw fun, there is the awesome of the album, sung over a simple and
The record opens with "Teeth Like outburst of"Sh*t Luck." Brock screams· easy major key strum that reminds
God'sS hoeshine."T. here is no restraint as "This plane is totally crashing! / This one of a '6os folk song, before a drum
Isaac Brock's fractured guitar sound boat is obviously sinking!" before his explodes with the intent to slam your
riffs with Eric Judy's hectic bass, Jer guitar goes wild. This embrace of de ears. It's an album that captures the
emiah Green's impacting drums and scent, this inclination to use up oneself, empty feeling of the American west,
Brock's screaming vocals. The yelled is one of the throughlines of the album. and the raw impulse to try and fill it.
verse ends with, "Went to the coun This pattern is in full effect on
ty line, paid the rent and said, uh "Cowboy Dan." The music and lyrics
oh." Then the track quickly breaks portray the figure, 'Cowboy Dan,' in a
and changes its mood. With a sim blind rage. Dan is a major player who
J' ,
ple rest, the only thing playing is the __ ,4,; __ drinks and gets mean, fires his rifle
guitar, which has become restrained 1 /II Ir!/ in the sky because he is angry with
and quiet. Brock's vocals become God and he keeps saying to himself,
//JI/
gentle and reflective. ·"Go to the gro I /I/fl "I got mine but I want more." The
cery store / buy some new friends / and I I music is menacing and steady like
find out the beginning, the end, and //1/1/ //II/ 1 an invader. Similar to the opening
the best of it." The chorus muses track, though, it descends into major
on the feeling of constantly rµn YUM! WILSON/PIONEER LOG chords and gentleness. Dan must be
ning out of things. The opening track reminded that he wiU be. "standing
is epic but .i ntimate, and illustrates the Mouse's sonic world. The album does which separates it from their first studio in the tall grass, thinking nothing."
point-counterpointte ndencieso f the album. not repeat itself, though. There is every album, "This Is a Long Drive for Some "You know we need oxygen to breath,"
The opening doesn't pander, it kind of rock song on the record. This one with Nothing to Think About." Brock sings, as if Dan has forgotten it.
commands the listener into Modest is indicative of the scale of the album, One of the first songs Brock wrote If you go to a Modest Mouse show, PHOTO COURTESY OF GLACIAL PACE

FRIDAY,N OVEMBER 17, 2017
ARTS·. 13
A .Thanksgiving-themed Lewis & Clark crossvvord
1 3 4 5 i By JULIA WARLING.
ACROSS DOWN
1. Brutus, to Caesar 1. Take a
10. Gumbo ingredient 2. Alias
11. Burnt ___ : paint 3. Bawl
color· 4. Eleventh letter, for the
12. MCR lead Gerard French ,,,
13. Less than two 5. Smelly fish
14. "That party was __ !" 6. Final word in a prayer
16. Most like an old uncle at 7. Childhood toy: __ gun
Thanksgiving dinner 8. Disguise
• 18. Jacuzzi 9. Birthplace of Marilyn
20. Fencing sword Burns, abbr.
21. Winter mountain cover 13. Either __
ing 15. African fly
22. Seventh letter of the 16. Crow call
Greek alphabet 17. Bluish-green
23. Common grain 18. 2060 Brad Pitt movie
24. Anagram of lens 19. Mashed Thanksgiving
25. Remain in Latin, per side dish
haps 21. "How was it?" response
27. Ending for but or prop 24. Hearing organ
28. Poem line with eight feet 26. What you do with deli
32. Trendy cious food
33. Rejected from the team 29. Canyon reply
34. ___ and flow 30. Faroese record label
company
37. Number of people in an
octet 31. Star of a 1982 sci-fi
movie
39. Before-meal necessity,
for some 34. Earlier, in time
35. Balancer for ballerinas
40. Those who study the
36. Bless your soul, for short
stars
38 .. com for Athens
39. Low movie rating
ADVERTISEMENT
appliances books clothing electronics tickets
I
furniture transportation sporting . instruments household
[j
□ □
services rideshare tutor apartment house
+
tt
roommate storage miscellaneou·s all . profile

•
• - 1
FRIDAY; NOVEMBER 17, 2017
SPORT-S
14
Swim team is hopeful
despite losses at meet
By CASEY PICKARD until they reach 12.
These sets are designed to get
THE LEWIS & Clark swim team's distance swimmers' heart rates up for a
first meet of the season was longer period of time to simulate what it
Nov. 3 against the University of feels like when they go through a whole
Puget Sound (UPS) in tht:! Zehntbauer day of competitions.
S.wimming Pavilion. Unfortunately, "I feel like it does help us a lot,"
the Pios finished the meet without any Megna said. "It aoesn't always feel good
wins. However, the difference between but you see a difference as you're going
MAGGIE BEUTLER/PIONEER LOG their scores and Puget Sound's scores through it, you see your times getting
Becca M•cC ullough '20I dri ves the ball down the field during the game against Pacifj.cL utheran Univedrsity on Sunday, Nov. 5. are becoming smaller and smaller; faster and it's a lot of fun when that
the men's team lost 112-93, ·while the happens."
F Illa socce_ r _game en s 0-0 women's team lost 119-86• Raphael explains that her coaches
. focus 'on minor details during their
des~I:r~e~er:s~n/~co:~~Ji:ts!: swim practices, having their swimmers
team did well. work hard to· make small changes in
By ZACHARY LERMAN penalty kick with seconds remaining to in over time," Addington-Ferris said of "Everyone on the swim team does ·their stroke techniques.
lead LC to_a o-o draw in the last game of her favorite moment of the season. "We really hard work," Megna said. "We're "Eventually, all those small
0 N NOV. 5, the ;Lewis & Clark the season. With this draw the Pioneers didn't win that many games this season all very committed student athletes and pieces come together and your stroke
women's soccer team played finish the season with a 2-12-2 record and there's just something so special I think it says a lot about our characters improves," Raphael said.
against Pacific Lutheran iri the Northwestern Conference and a about beating a team in over time and and the fact that we can balance school For the swim team, hard work is
University (PLU) at Griswold in the final 3-14-3 record overall. having the whole team just run onto the and swimming so well." fostered by their tight community.
game of the 2017 season. Going into the "We did a lot of things well in the field and celebrate together." Megna also explained that the first Members of the team eat· meals
match, the Pios were on a seven-game game," Swanson said. "We really start "I think my fondest memory would year recruits have added a lot of new • together, plan team study sessions and
losing streak with their last win coming ed to move the ball and played with a lot be this game," Swanson said. "Last energy to the team and she enjoys create their own events.
against Beloit College on Sept. 3. Their of fight. PLU is a really gobd team and year's senior game being a close sec watching them get accustomed to "We do things outside of school
overall record before the last match college swimming. In fact, first year work like the Haunted Corn Maze on
for us to p!ay so well and really get on ond but these games are so much fun.
was 3-14-2 with a 2-12-1 record in the swimmers like Andrew Butcher '21 and Sauvie Island arid our annual freshman
Northwestern Conference. In the final the attack for a lot. of the game made it • You are· playing for so much more than Sabrina Murray '21 won their events, breakfast," Raphael said. For • _the
game of the season, the team honored • sofun." yourself or your coaches, and you want Butcher in his 50 and ioo freestyle and freshman breakfast, the first years of
senior defenders Kori Swanson '18 and. "In the last match the team came out .it so bad. It's nice to come out with such Murray in her 200 freestyle. the team make breakfast for the older
Tasha Addington-Ferris '18. with a different attitude, we were play a great result and end on a high note. Alex Raphael '18 said that it was an members, while the older members are
The game between PLU and LC ing the best team in the region and there Looking back on my four years I'm exciting start to the swim season. in charge of bringing juice, cups and
ended o-o in double overtime. The first really was. no pressure on us," defender lucky to have had a lot of fun and have _ "The Friday meet was a great opener silverware.
half was dominated by LC, who had two Paige Barta '20 said. "We had nothing -had a lot of really great teammates, I meet," Raphael said. "It was a lot of fun Other events that the teilffi enjoys
notable scoring chances in the 22nd and to lose. The motivation and effort that really couldn't have asked fa~ anything watching our new teammates race in include the women and men's swim
23rd minutes respectively. in the,secohd was brought to the field was higher from more." college for the first time and the energy team hike at the beginning of the school
half, PtU ·had three notable chances in our pas_tg ames. I thought the team did As Swanson and ·Addington-Ferris was incredible." - • _ ·year as well as a white elephant gift
the opening five minutes. LC's most an especially good job of getting back conclude their ~eers at LC, the In addition to Butcher and Murray's exchange in the winter, a talent show
notable try-on-goal of the second half on defense anp. _slowingt he pace of the ••w omen's team, under the leadership of wins, seasoned college swimmers like and movie screenings.
came from Anna Saucedo '20, who hit a play when we had possession to allow Coach Jim Tursi, will look to improve Kassi Kometani '19, August Bergh '19, Raphael explained how the LC swim
shot off the post in the 72nd minute. In other players to move off the ball and . next season with a young squad led by and Sam Duran '20 were victorious in team had grown since her freshman
the first overtime period, LC goalkeeper get open." Northwestern Conference second team their fodi_viduale vents. Kometani won year.
Hannah Osmundson '20 stopped "It was definitely beating Whitman d!'!f-endeAr lexa Hanson '20. both her 50 and 500 freestyle, Bergh "The current senior class has set
won his-50Q_freestyle ana.Duran won higb standards,", Raphael said. ":We.
her 200 freestyle. always had a-vision of what y;e wanted
Coupled with swim practice six the team to become."
times a week, distance swimmers like Furthermore, she sees the drive that
Megna are swimming parametric sets the current team has as they practice
every two weeks. In these sets, distance together in the pool and the weight
swimmers have to keep their heart room and claims that the swim team
rate at 170 beats per minute while -they members are competitive with each
swim sets of 200 m(;?ters•._E ach week other in a "healthy" way.
they-_i ncrease their. ~et, by: adding an The next Pioneer swim meet will be
additjonal 200 meters. This week they held in Tacoma, Wash. against UPS on
are u~ to seven and they ~-1 continue Dec. 1 at the Logger Invitational.
I. '
. LEXIE BOREN/PIONEER LOG
Swimmers practice in 'Z~hntbauer Swim ·Pavilion after the first meet of the season.

i • • • • • ' ♦ •
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2017
SPORTS
Pios fail to win
fi'nal two games
Football team nearly victorious in final
quarter of the last game of the season
By ANNA SCHALL saw LC unable to keep up with the_P i
rates' offense, resulting in a whooping
0 N NOV. 4, Lewis & Clark College 48-7 final score. It was the fifth game in
lost to Whitworth University, a string oflosses for the Pioneers.
giving Whitworth their fourth The 2017 football season ended with
straight conference game win. It was a game at Pacific Lutheran University
the final home game of the season for (PLV) ·on Saturday, Nov. 11, where LC
LC, and the final home game ever for 11 lost 40-24. The Pioneers once again
seniors.
peaked· during _t he second quarter,
The Whitworth Pirates gained an
early lead against LC, earning six points _ earning 17 points, which they followed
with another seven points during the
during the first quarter while the Pios
score remained zero. The only points third quarter. At the end of the third
scored by LC occurred in the second quarter, the game was neck-and-neck at
quarter when Sawyer May '21 passed 26-24, but PLU managed to score two
to Heisman Hosoda '20 from 11 yards touchdowns in the final five minutes.
MORGAN.FRIES/PIONEER LOG
out for a touchdown. At halftime, Whit Next season, 59 of the 70 .current
worth held onto their lead of 20 points football players are expected to return Wide receiver Gage Bumgardner '18 prepares for the snap in the last home !Wffieo f the season against the Whitworth Pirates.
with a score of 27-7. The second quarter to the field.
Fox Pfund Pulliam '20 attempts to regain the ball from the Reed College players.
LEXIE BOREN/PIONEER LOG . LEXIE-BOREN/PIONEER LOG
Wyatt Richards '21 defends against a headed ball. The men's club soccer team won their game versus Reed College on Nov. 11. Rory McCleery '18 maneuvers the ball down-field during the game agai~st Reed.
The cross country team finished its season on Nov. 11. On their way to setting
. multiple records, this year's sophomore (top) and senior (bottom and right)
cross country athletes ran one of the best collective seasons in recent memory.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2017
16
The Backdoor is a "work" of "humor" and "fiction"
·Pon· finds· "ignoring .people"
If you've been Clark'd ...
favorite LC. extracurricular you might be entitled to compensation
By ELISE GLASER "Nothing feels better than averting my Campus Living is thrilled that the
eyes, passing my ex in th·e library and LC community is uniting over a com
AMPUS LMNG poll has re- momentarily forgetting that I stayed in mon interest.
-- eased the findings that Lewis & his family's cabin and met his grand- "Lewis and Clark is often thought of /\)~Got, ...
lark students overwhelming- mother"; "My former roommate arid as a divided community," a Copeland
ly adore "ignoring people." Alternate I used to share intimate secrets before resident advisor said. "Criticisms of
popular poll responses included: "Cry- bed, now we enjoy scooting around the school have stated that students are . \l-\-1.51 .s
~
ing i_nT ryon State Park" and "Eating IT each other in the Dovecote"; "There is not great at participating in ori-campus r
popcorn for all,three meals." nothing like the rush of walking past events. It's so exciting to see all people w-.-------· ~ ~T CASe 'L'Ve '
Are T a he D i p r o ec ll t , o r c s o , nd a u ll c o t w ed e d b y s tu c d o e n n c t e s r ne t d o s m o a m n e y o n d e u r w in h g o a I s h t u u n d g y a o b u r t o w ad i th tr i i p n G as e r i - f c 'i o g m no i r n i g n g t o p g e e o t p h l e e r . '" o T ve h r i s t h ac e t i g v r i e ty a t d o lo e v s e n o o t f WA1IE\: .'R1€., . €N l J
1
elaborate on their favorite extracurric- I didn't know their first name"; "The discriminate: student and faculty alike ,o •
· ulars. Some enthusiastic, anonymous Bon creates a social scene that I look expressed interest. \ y..~J t{\
comments on "ignoring people" includ- forward to everyday as I can partici- "The classroom allows me to en
ed the following: pate in 'ignoring', my all-time favorite gage intellectually with my students," \10 ll¾~
"The best thing about ignoring peo- on-campus activity. Just today, at Bon a delighted professor explained. "In
\'6rN~1
ple is that anyone in any year can do it. lunch, I stood in line behind four people contrast, The Trail Room allows 'me to
Even you. It can be done on-campus. who went on my NST. I was thinking speak privately with other professors
and off-campus, which really allows for about how they ~ere my first friends in while not looking at my students at the
tons of different opportunities. Just last college. While that may be wonderful table next to mine."
week, I sat next to the guy my room- and nostalgic, nothing warms my heart This extracurricular, however, is not
mate is hooking up with in Tea Chai Te more than standing right behind them perfect.
in Sellwood while pretending I didn't quietly while pretending to be on. my "Nothing is worse than a successful
know intimate details about him"; phone." • and joyful semester of 'ignoring' being
'"'°"..;,;_;;_;~,.;;,;;_.._; ...-;-_'-.! !!!.,._~~~"',-:'7:r~1 destroyed by a forced introduction at a
party," Brackley Green '18 said. "But, I
can still enjoy ·it if I go for a 'Hi! Nice
to meet you!' even if I know that they
follow my Instagram, dated my fresh
man year roommate and sat next to
mein-E&D."
'f.he administration is also pleased
to see their former initiatives taking
off.
"This is a part of an ongoing proj
ect to-invest in the school's s.hared
passion," an associate dean comment
ed. "Just this year, we were pleased
to shut the Trail Room for dinner in
an an attempt to facilitate signifiant
ly less social interactions. In 2014, we
cancelled Spring Fling after numerous
complaints that it forced too much so
cializing." Their greatest achievement
to date was the creation of Temple
ton, a complex building that disallows
large student gathering, complete with
intricate pathways perfect for dodging
i a former friend or lover.
After reading the findings of this
poll, the administration is looking
into even more new ways to fund and ANNA DESMET/PIONEER LOG
encourage "ignoring people." Possibil By LAUREN KEEGAN The spread of Hipsterus palatinus
ities include: more "Pod Styl~" study is considered by many medical pro
chairs like those in Lower Templeton BREAKING: THIS IS a medical fessionals to be quite an anomaly. Dr.
and selling LCt rademarked transition advisory update on an outbreak Caroline Oswald, a premier researcher
glasses in the bookstore. of a very serious disease circu of Hipsterus palatinus, described the
lating in the Lewis & Clark community. unique and concerning process of how
RAYA DEUSSEN/PIONEER LOG The contraction of the virus Hipsterus the virus preys on.students by way of
~Pre~ident Wim Wiewel to pardon a palatinus, or "getting Clark'd" is a deep the lack of social structure within LC.
ly concerning medical phenomenon "As cliques are created with no real
that annually infects over 500 incoming stratification, there is no up or down
LC students every year. The virus is in to settle into, and very little variation;
real turkey for no apparent reason
digenous to LC, and this year's strain is it is an absolute level playing field in
believed to have mutated in a rain pud the most dangerous sense," Oswald
dle contaminated with marijuana ash said. "Incoming students with no prior
Also: Thanksgiving break will be just 45 _minutes this year •a nd cigarette spit from a student with knowledge of this strange setup are left
_m· ononucleosis. with no choice but to adopt the strange
Symptoms of getting Clark'd include customs of the infected. Through this
but are not limited to: buying 17 flan homogeneity, the virus proliferates."
nels at The Bins; habitually smoking "There is no telling the sort of dam
cigarettes; getting a cashew stick-and age this infection could have if it spread
poke tattoo; referring to someone as a beyond LC." Oswald said when asked
"normie" or "poser"; getting really into about the dangers of getting Clark'd.
rock climbing or photography; quoting "The United States could fall from pow
Mac Demarco in class; developi_ng a er, mass famines could ensue ... I don't
gluten sensitivity that only is an issue even want to think of what would even
when other people are around; radical happen if it encountered a religious
changes in hairstyle; skipping class to population."
buy a new dab pen; matching your pric The only known cure for being
ey Fjallraven Kanken backpack with Clark'd is to transfer-schools, out this
your Nalgene <1nd/orH ydroflask; going is not advisable as it may facilitaw. the
into crippling debt from attending too spread of Hipsterus palatinus to other
many College Outdoors trips; creating universities. Oswald advises that "the
and running a niche meme page; wear best thing you can do to protect yourself
ing-overalls at least four out of seven is to engage in some form of popular ac
days of the week; genuinely believing tivity - play a sport that isn't ultimate
that 6ne day communism will work in frisbee, watch. some reality television,
practice; vaping in class, the library or go to a party that isn't playing noise 'mu
any other wildly inappropriate setting; sic in someone's basement - you know,
dabbling in witchcraft and wanting to simple things."
punch someone for drinking bottled If you or a loved _one has been
water. These behaviors are concerning Clark'd, you may be entitled to financial
to say the least, and can have disastrous compensation. You probably won't be,
consequences when exhibited in any though, since LC's endowment is just
setting outside of LC's bubble within a six nickels and three dimes Barry Glass
bubble within a bubble. ner foun~ on the street two years ago.
PHOTO ART BY NICOLAS OHLSEN-JOHNSON