Lewis & Clark College

The Pioneer Log: Lewis & Clark College’s Student-Run Newspaper

Volume 79, Issue 6

Lewis & Clark College Student Newspaper

Pioneer Log Staff

2012-11-02

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Newspaper

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Lewis & Clark College: Pioneer Log / Mossy Log

IONEER
PAGE LEWIS & CLARK COLLEGE'S STUDENT-RUN NEWSPAPER
VOLUME 79, ISSUE 6
FRIDAY. NOVEMBER 2, 2012
WWW.PIOLOG.COM
IN OTHER NEWS ...
DANCE
YOURSELF DEAD
FEATURING:
THE DANCING HATS,
GALLOP, R/D
AND FINISH TICKET
ARTS P. 9
SOCCER SETS
SCHOOL RECORD
SPORTS P. 11
SUSTAINABILITY IS SEXY:
KOMBUCHA, THE MOTHER
OF ALL PROBIOTICS
FEATURES P. 6 2
EDITORS-IN-CHIEF:
ZIBBY PILLOTE &
HAYLEY TRIVETT
BUSINESS MANAGERS:
ANNIE BOURKE &
TRACY MARVIN
CONTENT MANAGER:
RYEDRUZIN
ADVERTISING MANAGER:
LEX CORWIN
NEWS EDITORS:
JAKE BARTMAN &
JOSH FREEMAN
OPINION EDITORS:
KATRINA STAAP &
GUADALUPE TRIANA
FEATURES EDITOR:
BEAU BROUGHTON
ARTS EDITORS:
CASSIE BISHOP &
BRENNA MURPHY-ESTUS
SPORTS EDITOR:
ANTHONY Ruiz
STYLE SOURCE:
MARY GATES &
ALICIA KROEL~
8ACKDOOR EDITOR:
JAKE SIMONDS
ILLUSTRATION EDITOR:
SAMANTHA SARVET
ILLUSTRATORS:
KELSEY GRAY, CAITLIN DEGNAN,
EMMA HOWLAND, FRANCIS LI
PHOTOGRAPHY EDITORS:
ANNA DAGGETT &
HANNAH PRINCE
PHOTOGRAPHERS:
KEVIN RYAN, MAGGIE MC­
DERMUT, KATHERINE JERNIGAN,
ANTOINE PETER
VIDEO EDITOR:
JOREY KIVA
COP-Y EDITING CHIEF:
GRAYSON ARANGO
COPY EDITORS:
HANNAH BLACKSIN, AILEE FEBER,
JESSICA SCHLIPF
STAFF WRITERS:
CALEB DIEHL, MUSA AHMED,
KEVIN RYAN, LINDSEY BOSSE, CJ
MACLEOD, KATHERINE JERNIGAN,
MADDIE LEE, ROCKY MCNEFF,
LAUREN LOVATO, CAITLIN
BASILIO, SAVANNAH WEINSTOCK,
MORGAN JONES, JENNI LAKEMAN,
KARINA SCHORR, CARMEL YANG,
LAURA NASH, HANNAH THOMP­
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NEWS NOVEMBER 2, 2012
Final debate: Obama's·comeback -
BY MUSA AHMED
Staff Writer
On Monday night, Lewis &
Clark students gathered in the
Council Chambers to participate
in the national discourse over the
presidential election. Bob Schief­
fer was the moderator between
th!! presidential hopefuls, Barack
Obama and Mitt Romney. The
debate was particularly significant
because it was the third and final
debate of the election.
In a pre-debate political com­
mentary, Senator John McCain,
the only person who has debated
both candidates in a presiden­
tial election, gave his insights and
opinions on both candidates and
repeated that "they're both excel­
lent" debaters. He cautioned Rom­
ney not to lee Obama paint him as
a hair trigger thar's going to get the
United Scares into a conflict and
criticized Obama on his "unaccept­
able screw-up" by refusing to admit
fault in regard to the embassy in
Libya.
Shorcly after McCain, Bob
Schieffer rook center stage, and
gazing direcrly into the camera de­
livered a reminder of the 50th an­
niversary of the Kennedy missile
crises. Using this tense historical
period as a point of departure into
foreign policy, Schieffer began the
debate.
Afghanistan, Syria, Iran and the
drone strikes program were ma­
jor points of the debate. Romney,
somewhat contrary co his earlier
seance on Afghanistan, said char
"our troops will come home" and that the Afghan forces will be ready
to regain control by 2014. Obama
also expressed similar sentiments,
and said that Afghans are "capable"
of handling their coumry and that
America needs to focus on nation
building at home.
Romney soon attacked Obama
for not responding more direcrly ro
the "humanitarian disaster" in Syr­
ia. Romney suggested that America
should fund insurgent groups that
will protect American interests and
that he resented Obama for nor
capitalizing on this "critical oppor­
tunity.''
Obama argued that America
was fulJy involved in the process,
funding, as Romney suggested,
insurgent groups that were in­
clined cowards American interests.
Obama replied, "You would do the
same thing we did bur say it loud-
" er.
Romney also felt that the
Obama administration was nor
rough on Iran and said that he
would indict Ahmadinejad with
genocide. Reluctant to answer
Schieffer's question if he would ar­
rack Iran along with Israel, Rom­
ney mentioned char he would,
if the options were exhausted.
Obama responded that the sanc­
tions placed on Iran under his
administration were already "crip­
pling their economy" and putting
their market in a "shambles."
Romney was enthusiastic about
Obama's infamous drone strike
program, which have kilJed sus­
pected terrorises along with Ameri­
can citizens and a significant num­
ber of civilians. Both also agreed that China is a product fabricator,
currency manipulator and intel­
lectual properry thief. They dif­
fered on how they would deal with
China, however. Romney, unlike
Obama, scared openly that there
was a "silent trade war" that Ameri­
ca could win.
Ian Umphrey (' 16) saw major
points of difference between the
presidential hopefuls. Umphrey
was surprised at the realist lens of
Romney and his focus on Iran as
the major threat, unlike Obama,
who saw non-state actors like ter­
rorist organizations as the major
national securiry threat. Rom­
ney, said Umphrey, also failed ro
rake into consideration the senti­
ments of the international com­
muniry, such as the UN and EU.
He agreed, however, with Romney
char America "needs a strong image
and nor ro project weakness." He
was more convinced by Romney's
economic plans than Obama's, par-ticularly those involving the Latin
American countries.
Daniela Jimenez (' 14) felt that
"Romney turned everything ro the
economy and his abiliry ro crunch
numbers." She added that "He
seems ro want ro decrease govern­
ment influence domestically, yet
increase fr abroad."
Another student, Emmanuel
Habimana, said that there is a con­
tradiction when Romney says "he
will make 12 million jobs" and
still attacks Obama by telling him
that "the government doesn't cre­
ate jobs."
The opinions of LC students
paralleled national poll results like
CBS, which showed Obama as
the winner by a sizeable margin.
But the analytical commentary of
the debate "hours and days after"
might change national and local
perceptions, as noted by LC Presi­
dent Barry Glassner, a former pro­
fessor of sociology.
Obama, Romney, Sandy? ILLUSTRATION BY EMMA HOWLAND
BY CALEB DIEHL
Staff Writer
As Hurricane Sandy pounds the
Northeast, presidential candidates
continue ro storm through swing
states, particularly Ohio, in a torrid
race across the race's home straight­
away.
The contest has already been
partially decided. The polling orga­
nization Gallup reported on Tues­
day that 15 percent of voters have
already cast their ballots, and 18
percent plan ro do so between now
and election day.
FiveThirtyEight pre­
dicts a 77.4 percent
chance of success
for Obama on Nov.
6.
Gallup also estimated that voter
turnout will plummet in compari­
son ro the previous two election
years. Most pundits have suggested
char Hurricane Sandy could also
reduce the population oflikely vot­
ers. If this is the case, the decline
will most Likely wound President
Obama, who is favored among lib­
eral Northeastern voters. Obama
also chose ro abstain from cam­
paigning in Ohio ro manage the
disaster, while Romney continues
ro rally vorers there.
Nate Silver, the author of the
New York Times . statistics blog
Five7hirtyEight, wrote on Tuesday
that the Hurricane could increase
the percentage of nonresponse for polls in the Northeast, skewing
President Obama's numbers. This
could induce a shift in the confi­
dence among undecided or moder­
ate voters, inclining the~ coward
Governor Romney, the candidate
who is ostensibly rising in popular­
iry.
Silver also noted, however, 'that
statisticians rypically account for
nonresponse bias through formu­
las or annotations, and his forecast
for Obama's re-election chances is
much brighter than that for the
East Coast. Five7hirtyEight pre­
dicts a 77.4 percent chance of suc­
cess for Obama on Nov. 6.
Pew Research, in contrast, re­
pores that the candidates are dead­
locked as they each hold 47 percent
of rhe vote. Romney bolds a slight
advantage in voter turnout that
could prove devastating ro Obama
if it increases in the next week.
Obama also urged his supporters
ro vote early, so confidence among
his base could shatter as increasing­
ly confident Romney voters turn
our in greater numbers.
Romney has sharply narrowed
the race after several strong debate
performances during which he as­
sumed a more moderate stance.
He will attempt ro ride the surge
coward election day, while Obama,
who according to Pew holds mosrly
positive voter ratings in character
and issues, must focus on turning
out his base before time runs our.
With only about 50 percent of eli­
gible Americans casting ballots this
year, getting people co the polls is
the most essential goal for both
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,~z:l't=Hu!lnc;..ltwl.!'C~K/5!" ---OVEMBER 2, 2012 ELECTION GU 3
The rime has come for intense deliberation. Amid debates,
campaign trails and a barrage of advertisements, the time
has come. For many college students, chis presidential elec­
tion marks the first in which they will vote. As Uncle Ben
once said, "With great power comes great responsibility." The following
is a compilation of endorsements for the candidates and measures
found on the Oregon ballot by The Pioneer Log editorial staff.
PRESIDENT/VICE PRESIDENT:
BARACK OBAMA AND JOE BIDEN (D)
It is clear where President
Obama's priorities lie. For starters,
during his time in office, President
Obama has more than doubled the
amount of available funding for
Pell grants. In comparison, Mitt
Romney selected a man in Paul
Ryan as his running-mare whose
budger would cur Pell grants to
over a million students over the
next ten years.
Second, the Patient Protection
and Affordable Care Act, !ietter
know as Obamacare allows stu­
dents to stay on their parents in­
surance plans until they are 25.
Thanks to Obamacare, it is against
• the law for an insurance company
to.deny you coverage because of a
pre-existing condition, drop cover­
age because you got sick and elimi­
nated lifetime caps on coverage.
Mitt Romney has vowed to veto
Obamacare on his first day in of­
fice, and replace ir with an unspeci­
fied plan. We are supporting the president because we agree char
women's wellness visits, testing for
HPY and contraceptives ought to
be covered by the insurance com­
panies that for far too long have
taken advantage of sick people
when they need coverage the most.
Finally, Barack Obama un­
derstands char if we want to grow
America from the middle out rath­
er than the top down we need to
have a workforce in which wom­
en have the same opportunities as
men do.
Ir is nor good enough co sim­
ply blame the current president
for everything currently wrong in
America; you have to have a plan.
Obama wants to move country
forward, and we're not going back.
We like our healthcare, drawdown
wars, increased emphasis on edu­
cation, workplace equality, ending
Don't Ask Don't Tell, reduction of
nuclear arms and not having to go
bankrupt just because we gor sick.
ATTORNEY GENERAL, OREGON:
ELLEN ROSENBLUM (D)
Rosenblum is the sole progres­
sive candidate running and is prag­
matic and experienced in law, un­
like her opponent.
Rosenblum has served as both
a judge and federal prosecutor
for Oregon, focusing on finan­
cial crimes, including fraud cases
again t individuals and small busi­
nesses. Her Republican opponent,
James Buchal, spent his legal career
defending corporations and. utility
companies fighting co exploit rivers
and wildlife against environmen­
talists and regulatory government
agencies. Rosenblum's support of repro­
ductive rights and marriage equal­
ity testify co her commitment to
equal civil rights for all citizens.
Rosenblum's pragmatic seance on
marijuana prosecution has also
won her massive support amongst
the pro-legalization lobby.
She has stated numerous times
that, if elected, her office would
have no interest in prosecuting
those fou~d with small quantities
of marijuana; instead, she would
utilize tax dollars to pursue major
crimes, especially those committed
against children and rhe elderly. REPRESENTATIVE TO CONGRESS: SUZANNE BONAMICI (D)
Bonamici is known for her
abiding interest in consumer rights
issues and has proved such in one
term in the Oregon House of Rep­
resentatives, rwo terms in the Or­
egon Senate and a partial term in
the United States Senate. Bonami­
ci has served on the Senate Budget
Committee and the Science, Space
and Technology Committee. This
year she is on the ballot with a view
to serving Oregon in Congress for
a full term.
An important advocate for mortgage reform, Bonamici intro­
duced legislation that aims to help
homeowners facing foreclosure to
learn how to modify their home
loans. Bonainici has called pub­
lic education "her passion," and
while a scare legislator she passed
a bill that reduced the number of
rimes students need co retake stan­
dardized rests and that encouraged
educators to work at lower-income
institutions.
Her goals in this respect include
"ending high-stakes testing and
TREASURER, ORE.: TED WHEELER (D)
Wheeler currently holds office
and has since March 2010. Ted
Wheeler holds experience over his
competitors; Tom Cox has never
held office, having run for Gover­
nor of Oregon is 2002.
Cameron Whitten is noticeably
young and does nor have experi­
ence .except in running for Mayor
of Portland in early 2012. Whitten is a strong advocate who has par­
ticipated heavily in activism and
non-profits, bur lacks the familiar­
ity needed to participate in govern­
ment.
Cox's plans for Oregon's bud­
get and unemployment rare are not
as straightforward and practical as
Wheeler's goals to keep down· the
deficit while creating jobs.
SECRETARY OF STATE, ORE.: KATE BROWN (D)
Kare Brown is a graduate of the
LC Environmental Law School
who is running for her second term
as Oregon Stare Secretary.
Brown is a Democrat who is
noted for having helped to save the
stare over $ I 00 million in one year
alone.
Brown has directed audits that
are intended to determine whether or not community colleges are of­
fering courses in the skills chat Or­
egon's small business owners have
identified as desirable in new hires,
in order to better serve both stu­
dents and small businesses.
Brown garnered media atten­
tion several years ago for becoming
the first openly bisexual statewide
office bolder in the Uni red Scares.
MAYOR OF PORTLAND:
CHARLIE HALES
Among a variety of essential is­
sues, Hales wilJ strengthen rwo of
the things Portlanders hold dear­
est -parks and public transporta­
tion. During his rime as City Com­
missioner, he was a major advocate
for streetcar and MAX expansion
and developed the first park bond, which spurred the restoration of
parks all around the city. He also
worked with the fire bureau to hire
more women and minorities. With
such solid experience and receptiv­
ity to the needs of Portland, Hales
offers much more promise than
Jefferson Smith.
ROSS MARC::aUAND
WITHMIC punitive labeling," and "assuring
meaningful assessments and evalu­
ations." She supporcs the right of
women to abortion and is an out­
spoken supporter of increasing ac­
cess to affordable healthcare. Bon­
amici considers climate change an
important issue, and while work­
ing at the state level she support­
ed enacting Oregon's Renewable
Portfolio Standard, which requires
large energy providers ro produce
25% of their energy with renew­
able sources by 2025.
STATE REP.:
CHRIS GARRETT (D)
A strong public education sys­
tem is the first step to creating an
egalitarian society, where all are
able to compete on equal footing.
As the foundation of Chris G.l.r­
recr's campaign, public education
will see an increase in funding and
resources. In addition, Garrett em­
phasizes the importance of improv­
ing public safety and preventing
crime at its roots-social inequal­
ity.
Ir stands to reason char Garrett
is running unopposed because the
citizens of Lake Oswego are aware
of his devotion to the improve­
ment of the basic infrasrructures
char locals utilize on a daily basis.
Voting for Garrett will reinforce
Lake Oswego's support for an indi­
vidual who desires an equal chance
for all people.
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OPINlON Bleeding orange, blacking out:
where's the school spirit
BY MADDIE LEE
Staff Writer
Last weekend was a combina­
tion of homecoming week, senior
day and parents weekend. The
stands in Griswold Stadium were
finally full.
The problem was, only about
15 of the fans were Lewis & Clark
students.
This entire season has been
marked by lackluster support from
the LC student body. It's not just
football either-soccer, volleyball
and cross-country have experi­
enced a similar absence of fans.
It's not like LC has always been PHOTO BY HANNAH PRINCE
so disinterested in sports. Pic­
tures hang on the walls of Pamplin
Sports Center as proof of a time
when LC students would pack the
gym full at basketball games or
show up in body paint to tailgate
for football games.
I've been racking my brain try­
ing to figure out what has changed.
If our teams were getting worse,
I'd understand; no one wants to
waste hours of their life only to face
heartbreak in the end.
Bue that's not the case at all.
The past couple of years, the ath­
letic department has been highly
invested in improving our athletic programs.
However, the rest of the school
doesn't seem to be on board. I real­
ize that some people simply don't
enjoy watching spons and others
don't know anyone who plays for
LC, but attending sporting events
is not just about being a specta­
tor or supporting your classmates.
It's about showing pride in your
school.
When it comes down to it, no
other school function is able to in­
still in students the same kind of
school spirit that a football, basket­
ball or soccer game can.
Ar their core, collegiate sport­
ing events are meant to bring peo­
ple together. They unite a student
body against a common enemy.
LC could use some unification,
and what better way to do it than
through the very interest that di­
vides our campus so clearly?
I just ask that you don't dismiss
me as an angry athlete ranting for
attention, and I urge you to try
out being a Pioneer fan for at least
a day or two. Who knows, maybe
it'll stick.
STUDENT DEMANDS
ACTION FROM
PROGRESSIVE THINKERS
As the election season draws to a close, one student focuses
in on why it is important to look beyond the surface of labels
BY CALEB DIEHL
Staff Writer
It is easy to be a conservative.
The process of writing the lyrics
to a country song involves know­
ing these words: beer, tractor, farm,
women and jeans. The plots of
these songs are always desolate, but
the apocryphal saying holds that
just playing the song backwards
fixes all the problems. Assuming a
srance on controversial political is­
sues requires little thought. Have
you ever shot a gun? It's fun. Criti­
cizing sociery bears no guilt induc­
ing implications when you refuse
to contribute to it. Leaving things
the way they are will always be eas­
ier than changing them.
Mental exercises, like math, are
not requisite for conservatism. Mitt
Romney carelessly follows partisan
ideology without rigid examina­
tion of detail by claiming to lower
taxes across the board and increase
defense spending. He does this be­
cause it works and it is easy. Yet
despite his reputation as a robotic
profit-calculating machine, he still
can't make the numbers add up.
Mental strain typically falls in
liberal territory. Liberals have giv­
en us prominent physicists and
philosophers. Conservatives have
given us Sarah Palin and Herman
Cain.
Unfortunately, many liberals
and Lewis & Clark students chink
adhering to their leftist ideology
should also be easy.
This is not what the staunch,
courageous liberal must believe.
They must recall the bloodied
hordes of civil rights protesters who
fought stoic ideologies armed with
batons and tear gas. They must re­
member the precise eloquence of
Martin Luther King, Jr. It is not
enough to smoke a bunch of weed and call it a day.
I am fighting a general meta­
phorical war against stupidity that
must necessarily include conserva­
tives, but despite their insistence
on owning every type of firearm
in production without restrictions,
I have no fear of getting shot for
what I am about to write. In the
current rancid political climate,
controversy reigns, or at least gets
people to read this article, which
is what I really care about. We all
know conservatives cherish free­
dom because individuals should
take care of themselves.
No one seems to know this bet­
ter than Vice Presidential Candi­
date Paul Ryan. This man has ex­
pressed an infatuation with Ayn
Rand, the writer who asserted that
selfishness is a virtue.
Paul Ryan should get his head,
or his eyes, checked. Taking a few
minutes to look around the present
situation and back on the way he
got here will inevitably reveal that
he didn't do it alone. An insistence
ort individual freedom also limits
the goals of society. Even if Ryan
hates society, which might qualify
him as a dangerous antisocial per­
sonality, he has a vested interest in
keeping the rest of us happy. If we
were adrift on a lifeboar°with sever­
al other survivors and limited sup­
plies, I would be livid ifhe hoarded
most of the essentials and deprived
the rest of us of tools for survival.
Thar would almost be attempted
murder. I would throw him off the
lifeboat.
The nature of thought and lib­
eralism is progressive. Intellectual
debates constantly evolve; neural
networks expand at astounding
speeds. The astute liberal would
point out that Ryan professes to
adopt the doctrines of both Rand, the purveyor of jusrified greed, and
Thomas Aquinas, a Christian phi­
losopher who endorsed his faith's
belief in caring for those who least
deserved it.
Instead of wondering how good
he is at P90X, the enlightened lib­
eral would think that by depriving
marginalized people of basic sus­
tenance and healthcare and failing
to accept their personal choices re­
garding their sexuality or expres­
sion, Ryan and his parry are elimi­
nating the possibility that these
people will have successful careers
and that they will realize their am­
bitions. They will never be as good
at P90X.
"An insistence on
individual freedom
[also] limits the
goals of society."
Getting chewed out by Rush
Limbaugh does not qualify you as
a good liberal because Rush Lim­
baugh hates everyone. You have to
be as creative as a stressed Barack
Obama launching military-themed
zingers like missiles in a debate and
begin every sentence with, "I have
a dream." Liberalism must adhere
to its most fundamental ambitions
to progress by moving past simple
controversy and insubstantial accu­
sations to reasoried argument.
For a long time no one listened
to the cries of rejected races and gay
couples and someone who writes
about country music and fitness
programs to tell people to think
substantially. Nevertheless, persis­
tence is effective. I have a dream
that one day liberals will uncover
contradiction and press coward free
thinking, and conservatives will
listen. AES students offer refreshing observations of life in America
BY KAN NAKATANI {JAPAN)
Before arriving in the US, I had
many preconceptions about An1eri­
can culture. The first preconception
is that many American people hug
as a greeting even if they are not a
couple. Actually, it is true. Even in
a public place, I can see people hug­
ging. Moreover, couples often kiss in
front of me. In Japan, this is unbe­
lievable. If a couple hugs and kiss­
es in a public place in Japan, other
people will look coldly on them. At
first, I was very surprised when an
American girl hugged me, but I am
accustomed to this greeting now.
The second preconception is char
American people never mind small
matters. My American roommate
doesn't mind, for example, when
his pillow and some coins are on rhe
floor. He doesn't pick up them. An­
other example is char a lot of Ameri­
can students don't dress up every
day. Many beautiful American girls
wear only r-shirts and short pants.
In Japan, I have never seen girls
going to university wearing only r­
shins and short panes. Japanese uni­
versity female students have many
clothes and cry to coordinate every
day.
The third preconception is char
America has a great music cul­
ture. Actually, many students walk
around the campus listening co mu­
sic, and I can hear music from each
room in our dorm. Moreover, I see
char some American students often
play some instruments together as a
session. I can't play any jnstrumenr,
so I am so envious of this. In Japan,
of course, students like listening co
music. However, in my opinion,
American students like music more
• than Japanese students. In face, re­
cently, the sale of Japanese music
CDs has decreased. I am sometimes
surprised by American culture, bur
now I don't have the things I can't
stand. Therefore, I accept and en­
joy American cultures to widen my
point of view.
BY JIAYAO LING {CHINA)
I had never been here before; I did
nor know what the West Coast was
like. So what is the West Coast? Are
there a lot of international people
who have come from different coun­
tries? Is there more freedom here
than in the other pans of America?
Is there a beautiful view and mild cli­
mate in all seasons? Are the people
of the West Coast very friendly? All
of these ideas came in to my mind
about the West Coast as I began to
live here.
I have lived on the West Coast
for a short rime now, and in these
weeks I have gotten some fantastic
impressions. When I first came to
Portland, it was already evening, and
I was very tired after a long trip from
China, but when I saw the reacher
in the Inrernarional Student Office,
I recovered from my fatigue. She
gave me a big hug, and I felt really
excited; it lee me find the feeling of
home. The people of the West Coast
are wonderful! This became my first
impression of Portland. .
The next impression is that Port­
land has a beautiful view. I have al­
ready taken a rough look at this city,
and I will never forger the green col­
or. The mild climate always comes with a wonderful view, and it
helps me feel this is a wonderful
place for humans to live. I can
nor only study here bur also en­
joy the environment.
Also, I feel char the West
Coast has more freedom than
other parts of America. The stu­
dents here have more personal
space; they can choose rheir own
lifestyle. They have a variety of
entertainment to choose from
in their spare time. It may take
me. more rime to engage in this
atmosphere of freedom, bur I can
doit.
Last, bur nor lease, the thing
which attracts me a lot is that the
West Coast has an international·
business environment. I can see
this from my many friends who
came from different countries.
In short: I love America and the
West Coast.
BY SOUD ALHAJRI {KUWAIT)
In the summer of 2006, I
traveled to Egypt to rake a short
preparation course for engineer­
ing. When I was arranging my
clothes in my new apartment in
the middle of Cairo, I suddenly
heard. some protesters in the main
street appealing to the Egyptian
government to solve the problem
of unemployment. I was sur­
prised because I had thought that
the Egyptians did not have such
croubles and they were satisfied
with their lives. Thus, I learned
that we couldn't know the truth
about any country unless we vis­
ited iE. In fact, I didn't learn from
my first experience, and I repeat­
ed my mistake again when I trav­
eled to the USA.
Before I arrived at POX, I car­
ried with me four preconceptions
about Americans that were based
on what I had watched on TV
Firstly, I assumed that the ma­
jority of Americans like to study,
but what I discovered is highly
different because people who like
studying seem to be the minority.
Secondly, I thought that Ameri­
cans are not sociable, or isolated
or each one in his own world.
However, what I found is totally
different. For example, the first
day at the university, most of the
American students that I passed
smiled and welcomed me; also,
they welcomed me to be one of
their friends. Thirdly, I believed.
that all Americans respect laws
and rules, but I was shocked be­
cause I saw many Americans who
were outlaws in several situa­
tions -running through the traf­
fic signal, jaywalking and steal­
ing -which made me change my
mind. Finally, according to the
recent political problems and
American movies, I have built
an impression in my mind, that
Americans are racial. This impres­
sion quickly faded away because
most Americans do not seem to
care about your race or religion;
the main thing that Americans
care about is a person's manners.
All ih all, preconceptions are not
necessarily true, and they can
change any time if we keep our
eyes open -as what happened to
me in Egypt and the USA shows. OYEMBER 2, 2012 THE PIO EER LOG
STYLE SOURCE 5
DESIGNER HUBERT DE GIVENCHY FOUNDED THE FASHION HOUSE OF GIVENCHY IN 1952. SIXTY YEARS LATER, GIVENCHY IS ONE
OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL BRANDS IN THE FASHION INDUSTRY AND A COMPANY THAT HIGH-END MODELS ASPIRE TO WORK FOR.
ISAAC EKBLAD IS ONE OF THE FEW MODELS TALENTED ENOUGH TO WALK FOR GIVENCHY ON THE RUNWAY. JUST LAST YEAR, EK­
BLAD WAS ATTENDING LEWIS & CLARK AND LIVING THE LIFE OF THE AVERAGE STUDENT ON PALATINE HILL. AFTER BEING REPEAT­
EDLY SCOUTED ON THE STREET, EKBLAD'S MODELING CAREER TOOK OFF AFTER HE SIGNED A CONTRACT WITH NEW YORK-BASED
AGENCY WILHELMINA. SINCE THEN HE HAS BEEN BUSY WITH PHOTO SHOOTS AND RUNWAY SHOWS ACROSS THE WORLD. STYLE
SOURCE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO ASK HIM SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT BEING DISCOVERED, WORKING IN THE FASHION INDUSTRY
1. WHAT DID YOU STUDY WHILE AT L&C?
I studied everything until they wouldn't let me sign
up for any more classes unless I declared a ma­
jor. So I picked philosophy, but I've also done a lot
in the history and religious studies departments.
2. TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU WERE FIRST DIS­
COVERED ...
. I was studying at Tea Chai Te on 23rd with a few
friends and this crazy looking lady came up to me and
said I had a nice face, or something like that, and that I
should work for them as a model. I thought it sounded
ridiculous but I took her card. I think it was two years
before I called them back. In that time I had been
scouted a bunch more by other agencies in Seattle and
Portland so I thought I might give it a shot. Traveling
the world for free was what tipped the scales for me ...
3. IS IT TRUE THAT YOU WORKED IN THE BON?
This is a weird question, but yeah, I worked
in Fields, the bakery, and in the Trail Room.
4. DID YOU HAVE A "WELCOME TO THE FASHION
INDUSTRY" MOMENT?
I get these moments almost every day... But I defi­
nitely have a first one. My agency in New York sets
up my first shoot. It's in Harlem and I show up with
some other guy from Australia. We go up into the pho­
tographer's apartment. The place is filled with mounds
of clothing, props, and studio lights and the walls are
plastered with signed polaroids of all the models he's
shot. When I look closer I realize that most are nudes. I
get this sinking feeling in my stomach, wondering what
the hell this shoot is all about. He shakes my hand,
introduces himself, and promptly asks me to strip and
change into some underwear. There is only one room
but he's nice enough to turn his back. I stand there
for like ten minutes in these tiny underwear while he
wades through the mess of clothing to put togeth­
er the first look. Luckily I didn't do anything I wasn't
comfortable with, but that shoot foreshadowed almost
every shoot or runway show since then. Once I even
changed on the sidewalk on Wall Street for an editorial.
COURTESY OF SPECIMEN MODEL MANAGEMENT COURTESY OF SUCCESS MODELS
10 QUESTIONS
WITH ISAAC
EKBLAD
COURTESY OF SUCCESS MODELS
COURTESY OF SPECIMEN MODEL MANAGEMENT 5. YOU FAIRLY QUICKLY LANDED A JOB WITH
GIVENCHY. IS IT' NERVE-WRACKING TO WALK
FOR SUCH A HISTORIC BRAND?
It was more of a thrill than something I was nervous
about. I had spent the week before the show working as
a fit model for Givenchy so I knew the designers pretty
well by the time I stepped onto the runway. They're just
really nice, normal people. Nothing to be scared about.
6. DID MODELING SEEM TO COME NATURALLY
FOR YOU?
Modeling is a lot like acting, so of course there is always
a lot to learn, but I wouldn't say that it's especially dif­
ficult for me. But a lot of what comes with modeling can
be very challenging. Like dealing with obnoxious book­
ers, coked-out roommates in the model apartments
and "modelizers" (people who are obsessed with
models) on the internet, on the street or in clubs, etc.
7. HAVE YOU HAD TO MODEL ANYTHING YOU
FELT WAS WEIRD?
At the fitting for the Rad Hourani Unisex show
I had to wear heels. I was so bad in them that
Rad didn't put me in the show. I have this new re­
spect for those of you who can wear heels. Wow.
8. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY HAS BEEN YOUR BIG­
GEST CHALLENGE AS A MODEL SO FAR?
Being patient. In this industry it's less about how
hard you work and more about how lucky you are.
Here, the early bird doesn't get the worm. The
bird who walks away with the most worms is the
one whose agency happens to like him a lot, the
one who is plain lucky or the one who "does fa­
vors" for designer birds, if you get what I'm saying.
9. WHERE ARE YOU WORKING RIGHT NOW?
I just moved from New York to Guangzhou, China. I'll
be working here and in Hong Kong until New Years.
Then it's off to Paris, Milan, and London for shows.
10. WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS?
No idea really. I'll probably do what I'm doing un­
til something else seems like a better idea. But
next year I might finish up my studies at LC.
COURTESY OF SPECIMEN MODEL MANAGEMENT 6 THE PIO EER LOG
FEATURES
Dear Virgins, OVEMBER 2, 2012
So, there is chis guy in one of my classes. He's really cure and smart and I kind of have a
really big crush on him. Last week he scarred sirring next to me, so we've talked a couple of
rimes before class. What's my next move?
Sincerely;
So Close, Yer So Far
Straight Girl:
In chis kind of situation, I usually have a
few go-to moves. First, I immediately stop
talking whenever he enters the vicinity.
Thar way he can't judge me if I say anything
stupid, because he never hears me speak.
Secondly, I avoid all eye contact. In order to
accomplish chis I scare at the floor or focus
really hard on my schoolwork or pretend
to text someone so char there is no chance
that he notices char I'm into him. Finally, if
he brushes against me accidentally, I flinch
violencly.
However, these moves haven't been
working for me ar all. So I suggest rhac you
do rhe exact opposite. One, talk as much as
possible when he is nearby so char there is
no chance rhar he doesn't notice you. Two,
scare ar him. Three, gradually move your
chair closer to his so char you are conscancly
bumping elbows, brushing feet, ere. Then,
write back and lee me know how char goes. Gay Lady:
I have a subscription to a really sophis­
ticated and useful publication called Cosmo­
politan. Have you heard about chis maga­
zine? After many years of reading every issue
front tb back, I can pretty accurately guess
rhac in your situation, Cosmo would suggest
a nice friendly fondle.
In case you don't know what a friendly
fondle is, I will include a working defini­
tion: a classic move where one slyly places
one's hand on another person's junk. I would
imagine this includes going red in rhe face
and, as Straight Girl suggested, avoiding all
eye contact. Of course, I wouldn't know; I
don't deal in penis.
Submit your questions to
piolog@lclark.edu
SllS~tllNtll\lLl~?
lS SS~?
The tnother of all probiotics
BY SAVANNAH WEINSTOCK
Staff Writer
Well, as some of you may know, kombu­
cha is made by a strange and, honestly, pretty
rank process char involves all manner of liv­
ing organisms.
The process scares by inoculating an open
container of tea with an already living kom­
bucha culture and adding some form of sug­
ar. This culture comes from a fully developed
kombucha "mother," which is a flattish blob
of bacteria and yeast with stringy bits hang­
ing off the bottom chat lives in your friend's
garage in a jug.
Each rime chis "mother" re-ferments, she
produces a "baby," which can be used to cre­
ate a new kombucha batch. This "mother"
can continue to ferment and become more
acidic until the end of time, provided she
doesn't dry our. Because much of the kom­
buchaphile culture comes from brewing
rhe kombucha yourself, various risks are in­
volved.
These risks are intrinsic of home brew­
ing and can range from a moldy "mother"
ro stomach-curdling levels of acidity in older batches to a general lack of adequate sanita­
tion. For chose char do end up with a potable
produce, however, there is a controversy over
its medicinal worth.
The high acidity of kombucha in tan­
dem with its bacterial and yeast content are
purported to encourage digestive health and
immunity. Conversely, these same qualities
have also been characterized as dangerous for
chose with less than perfect health, pregnant
women, the elderly and the very young.
As of now, there have yer to be any con­
clusive studies about the health benefits or
detriments of kombucha, homebrewed or
otherwise. For the less adventurous, bottled
kombucha is now widely available. So, as for
irs eco-friendliness, I'd say char most home
brewers of kombucha are keeping ir pretty
sustainable as long as they're using locally
sourced teas and sweetening agents, and as
for buying the borcled scuff: gee ir from as
close to home as possible.
In face, Portland's Townshend Tea spores
a line of locally brewed kombuchas, and
their website even offers mixed drink recipes
incorporating kombucha, which is, after all,
like 0.5% alcohol. OYEMBER 2, 2012
BY LINDSEY BOSSE
Staff Writer
Ac Lewis & Clark we pride ourselves on
knowing about the decline of the environ­
ment and do our best to avoid further dam­
age.
In the past, we have shaken our fists at
trees being cue down for construction, and
we've initiated composting programs i_n
dorms and offices. Essentially, we under­
stand the ways in which we can contribute
to a healthier world and for the most pare
we'd like to chink we're doing our best, but
are we?
Each month LC disposes of roughly
25,000 pounds of food, mostly coming
from Fields Dining Hall. During the sum­
mer months of 2012, compose races dropped
from 25,125 pounds in April co 5,675
pounds in June. Trash Co., our resident trash
company, was one of the first to offer com­
pose services to the Pordand region. Since
then, tl1ey continue to work with sustain­
ability in mind, which is why they send back
waste reports to people like our Sustainabil­
ity Manager Amy Dvorak. This is how we
know chat we are commercially composting
around 12.5 tons of food a month.
There is mis notion that because the food
is being composted, the waste is okay. To an
extent, this line of thought could be vali­
dated, considering that the carbon dioxide
emissions present in composting is less than
it would be in landfill waste, but there are
still emissions. That, and due co user error,
BY KEVIN RYAN
Staff Writer
Nong's Khao Man Gai is a chicken rice
food care downtown chat has been getting a
lot of press recently (an article in Bon Appe­
tit, a Saveur award, etc.).
Bue why? What's so special about chicken
and rice? This isn't just any chicken and rice,
this is chicken rice: a Southeast Asian spe­
cialty and popular meet food.
Whole chickens are poached i_n a bath
of water and aromatics, and the resulting
broth is used co cook the rice until just ten­
der. They are served togetl1er with cucum­
ber slices, cilantro, some broth and an amaz­
ing sauce. Nong's Khao Man Gai makes it
as close to authentic as possible, and they
do a great job at ir. The chicken is perfectly
cooked with subtle spice notes, and the rice
is very Auffy and has a light chicken caste.
The cucumber and cilantro add fresh­
ness and bite, and the sauce hits every ma­
jor Aavor possible. Made with ginger, garlic,
chiles, fermented soy and a bit of rice wine
vinegar, chis sauce cakes you to a whole new
level with your chicken rice.
All of your caste buds are engaged in this
meal. If you gee the chance, order the liver
or the fried chicken skin along with your THE PIONEER LOG
FEATURES 7
some commercial compost is not as healthy
as one would like. The compost taken away
from places like LC then goes co a commer­
cial compose facility. In our case, it goes to
North Pordand, which is astoundingly closer
than the landfill facility in Easrern Oregon.
People find things like
staples, strings and little
bits of cup in their mulch.
Then it becomes compose that can be sold
to farmers and gardeners for their own food
growth. However, when people throw items
such as tea bags or "compostable" coffee cups
in the compost bin, people then find things
like staples, srrings and little bits of cup in
the mulch in which they are planting their
food.
"Using che EPA WARM model, this
number is equivalent to approximately 3
metric cons of carbon dioxide emissions per
month (4 in the revised metric below, which
include transportation). When we are com­
posting this amount, we are sequestering (or
reducing) 2 metric cons of carbon dioxide
equivalents (MTCOE)," said Dvorak.
Lase year, Bon Appetit held an event in
which they promised they would match
waste decrease races with donations of food
for the Oregon Food Bank. During the
event, students wasted significandy less food.
Bon Appetit had created a visual of how
many pounds of food were being wasted in
chicken rice. Nong's Khao Man Gai serves
chicken rice rhar will appeal to all palecces,
no matter how sophisticated or basic. This
is one of me few meals I've had from a
food cart chat is delicious and filling, but
doesn't make me feel guilty about earing
ir. Seriously, it's healthy, fresh and wonder­
fully executed.
Nong's Khao Man Gai also serves in­
teresting fruit drinks, like lychee juice and
mangosceen, and they even do Vietnamese
coffee. Service is personable and very fast.
Expect co pay $6-$10, which is an amaz­
ing deal, considering the quality of their
food. Non g's Khao Man Gai definitely aces
chicken rice. Bue does it really deserve all
this critical praise? Yes and no. Don't gee
me wrong, tlley do a fabulous job, but it's
nothing gourmet or avant garde.
This is just ·a food care doing what any
good food care should do. If anyming,
Nong's Khao Man Gai exemplifies what
it means co be a good food cart, serving
great food quickly at a reasonable price.
It's a reminder for the rest of rhe food cares
in Portland char great food should come
from food carts as well as restaurants.
Nong's Khao Man Gai, SW 10th St. and
Alder St.
1 Ja.m.-4 p.m., Monday-Friday, $6-$10 For an otherwise progressive,
environ mentally-concerned college,
why do Lewis & Clark students continue
to waste so much food?
the front of che hall. A week or so after the
event, however, waste had started co increase
again.
Later in rhe year, Bon Apperit attempted
to put the compose bins right by the dish
rack so that students could watch the com­
post piling up and perhaps think of the im­
pact of their decisions.
However, srudenrs ended up discarding
improper materials or not even bothering, so
that, coo, failed. The amount of food waste
in Fields matches, if not exceeds, the food
waste char comes our of the kitchen.
The key difference here is tl1ac the food
waste from the kitchen is mostly melon
rinds, egg shells, animal bones for stock and
other produces of chat nature that cannot
be consumed but are used for cooking. The
food waste in Fields is edible up until the
moment of composting and is being thrown
away for a hose of reasons.
Bon Appetit can try
numerous different ways
to eliminate waste, but at
the end of the day it is the
student that needs to mak~
the final call.
This year, Bon Appetit has placed spoon
jars by their stations in an effort co provide
casting opportunities co students who are wary of the meal being provided. The goal is,
if a srudenr can cry the curry before getting a
place, they will know whether .or not they'll
be able co finish an entire serving.
The newest cups and plates that are bemg
used in Fields are a bit worrisome as they're
much larger and therefore tempt students
co cake more than their share of liquids and
foods. le is in the nature of an "all you can
eat" deal that humans wi_ll try to get as much
food out of that as possible.
Sometimes chis isn't always an option.
omecimes students are not going co be hun­
gry enough co have three full p'lares at din­
ner, even if they wane all three of the places
mey've gor. For this, Bon Appetit has scarr­
ed repeating certain items through the day
in order co alleviate this rush co consume all
the food options available. The new idea is
that che student that wanes pizza and tacos
on Tuesday will be able co have the pizza at
lunch and the tacos at dinner without feeling
like they need co have both simultaneously,
thus wasting a portion of both.
Of course Bon Appetit can try numerous
different ways to eliminate waste, but at the
end of me day it is the student who needs
co make the final call. We are a population
of incredibly conscious and smart students.
We are all crying to make a difference in
a variety of ways-like building schools in
Haiti, Spring into Action, bilingual tutor­
ing for our cleaning staff and tutoring stu­
dents in local high schools-but for some
reason we can't finish what is on our plates.
ADVERTISEMENT 8 THE PIO EER LOG
ARTS OVEMBER 2. 2012
PROFESSORS' PUBLICATIONS
PHOTO BY CASSIE BISHOP
Nestled in the International section under the heading of Human Rights, Heather Smith-Cannoy's book rests.
Insincere Commitments delves into the world of treaties, corruption and
face-value ratification by governments across the world.
PHOTO BY SAM SHAFER
BY CARMEL YANG
Staff Writer
Why do rights-violating governments
bother co ratify human rights treaties? Or, for
that matter, what are the effects of ratifica­
tion? These topics are explored by Interna­
tional Affairs Professor Heather Smith-Can­
noy in her recently published book, Insincere
Commitments: Human Rights Treaties, Abu­
sive States, and Citizen Activism.
A faculty member of Lewis & Clark Col­
lege's renowned IA program, Smith-Can­
noy's teaching style gravitates around hu­
man rights and laws. The strong themes of
civil liberties and international politics found
throughout her classes are also apparent
throughout the text.
As a graduate student, she was introduced
co an Amnesty International campaign
which implored governments co support
individual petition mechanisms. In her ac­
knowledgments, she writes that "(t]his book
is the product of that inquiry." (xi).
The book, released last April, evaluates
global patterns of treaty agreements through
case studies and data analysis of insincere
government commitments. An insincere
commitment is when governments ratify hu-man-rights treaties in order co gain econom­
ic assistance from the UN, with no intention
of implementing such rights. At face-value,
it appears completely negative. However, in
the book, Smith-Cannoy finds evidence that
the treaties, despite not being implemented
by the government, provide citizens with
more rights than they would have in their
absence.
"I wrote about [this topic] since people
assume ratifying treaties is meaningless, and
I felt it could help," Smich-Cannoy said. "le
might matter for women whose rights are vi­
olaced-[they can] use these treaties co pro­
mote their own rights."
Focusing specifically on the governments
in Central Asia and Central and Eastern Eu­
rope and their roles in citizen compliancy,
the book discusses how individuals, especial­
ly mothers and wives, are suing their govern­
ments through the UN. This challenges the
notion chat the UN is an "enfeebled institu­
tion." The book explores the indirect benefits
that come with approving such contracts.
"Human right treaties seem abstract but
they have the capacity co improve rights of
women abused ... and minorities that have
gotten attacked," Smith-Cannoy said.
For chose in­
terested in learn­
ing more about
human rights,
the enigma of in­
ternational trea­
ties and how the
UN works,
Insincere Commit­
ments is available
at Powell's Books.
1005 W BurmideSt.
Masculinity probed in new
Hoffman Gallery spread
BY KARINA SCHORR
Staff Writer
The Hoffman Gallery is currently fea­
turing a new exhibition with one com­
mon theme and three very different artists,
painter Leon Golub (1922-2004), cartoonist
Jack Kirby (1917-1994) and ceramist Peter
Voulkos (1924-200).
The gallery "Fighting Men" focuses on
different portrayals of masculinity and vio­
lence and will be open co the public until
March 3, 2013. All three of the featured
artists are incredibly prominent within their
medium, which contains the influence of
WWII or the Vietnam War.
Linda Tesner, the gallery curator, ex­
plained the interaction between the three
men's pieces. "The purpose of including
these three very different artists in the same
installation is co re-contextualize their art
and call attention how they unintentionally
reflect each other's work."
Each artist challenges and portrays tradi­
tional masculine representations or actions
very differently. Voulkos' sculptures have
the appearance of once conventional pottery
specimens, corn apart and scoured in a frenzy
and roughly put back together as though by a PHOTO BY KARINA SCHORR
madman or an ogre. Kirby, co-creator of the
comic book hero Captain America, seems co
have a more tongue-in-cheek conversation
with his subjects' masculinity, especially once
his work engages with the other two artists.
Golub's works vary from small and experi­
mental pieces to large, looming works with
choppy borders and crudely realized charac­
ters torturing one another.
"I think if you look at the state of our
world now and you're not concerned, you're
probably not paying attention," said Tesner.
She views the installation as a statement;
"Fighting Men" reflects our violent culture
and attempts co make sense of it. This par­
ticular installation is organized by guest cu­
rator, Pacific Northwest College of the Arcs
Professor, Daniel Duford. A catalogue of the
exhibit, including an essay by Duford, will
be available for sale in the Hoffman Gallery
Nov. 10. PHOTO BY CASSIE BISHOP
Kim Stafford's talk at Powell's Books pulled in over 150 people on Monday evening, selling over 130 books.
Kim Stafford's 100 Tricks Every Boy Can Do depicts heart-wrenching
memories of two brothers and Kim's life since Bret's death.
BY CASSIE BISHOP
Arts Editor
One a pamphlet containing cheap tricks
ro entertain two young brothers, the other a
tragic memoir of the same brothers' adven­
tures J 00 Tricks Every Boy Can Do is rife with
childish sport. However, the "crick" present­
ed in the latter does not play out: "Suicide's
the trick that doesn't work."
Tears of laughter, tears of grief, moments
of breath-caking beauty and the looming,
omnipresent beast of tragedy gracefully
weave their way through the pages of mem­
ory. Kim Stafford, an associate professor at
Lewis & Clark Graduate School of Educa­
tion & Counseling as well as the director
of the Northwest Writing lnstiute, poured
countless personal anecdotes from various
stages of his life, both with and without his
brother, into JOO Tricks.
He packed Powell's Books on Monday
eveningwith a colorful array of friends, com­
munity members and a small crowd from the
Hill. Stafford's words spoke not just co his
brother's memory nor co his personal grief
but co every member in attendance, empa­
thizers and reading enthusiasts alike.
Stafford's charismatic presense was ac­
cented by his obvious comfort speaking
co a crowded room as well as his steadfast
strength despite-or perhaps due to-the
vulnerability that was struck, not only in
Stafford himself, bur in the audience as well.
Stafford displayed his exquisite eloquence
not only within the pages of 100 Tricks but
throughout the evening at Powell's. Excuisite
phrases like "sprawled in reckless abandon ... "
are dropped like gems throughout his mem­
oir seducing literary critics and dashing co-PHOTO BY HANNA NEUSCHWANDER
lourful diction onto pages weighed down
with emotion. Stafford's stories commonly
centered on his and Bret's closeness: "as two
in one." One story was recalled with particu­
lar detail involving the two boys' trek across
a glacier with only a rock and a rope tethered
between the two boys co protect them from
the illusion of young invincibility. Stafford
concluded that "(his) brother, though gone,
still holds the rope."
Portland is a city of bridges. Bridges can
represent connections, getaways, transi­
tions or, in the case of two young brothers,
a night-time diversion. Stafford's JOO Tricks
crafts together everyday moments resulting
in a flawless sunset: ethereal beaury's struggle
against the impending loss of zesty life and
the resulting blankets of silence and solitude
dousing even the most brilliant lights.
On fan. 16 from 5-8 p. m., Stafford will be read­
ing.from 100 Tricks in the South Campus Chapel.
7his event is open to the public from 7-8 p. m.
Arts & Culture
Calendar
November 2 -Faculty Bookwarming -LC Bookstore
Bookwarming: From Kant to Croce: Modern Phiwsophy in Italy, 1800-1950 with Rebecca Copen­
haver & Brian P. Copenhaver. Event is from 1-2 p.m. •
November 2, 3, 8, 9, & 10 -Fir Acres Theater
Inspired by the film Cool Hand Luke, chis play begins at 7:30 p.m. $3-10
November 3 -Dance Yourself Dead -Stamm
This event is hosted by KLC and CAB. The line-up is The Dancing Hats, Gallop, Finish Ticket and
RID. This event is LC student-only and free. Event is from 8 p.m.-12 a.m.
November 4 -Cat Power -The Crystal Ballroom
See Cat Power at 8 p.m. for $38 at the door.
1332 W Burnside St.
November 5 -Submit Artwork to Zine
Make sure you submit your artwork on issues surrounding body image and the body for Body Posi­
tivity Week ro ESU@lclark.edu. Today's the deadline!
November 6 -G-Eazy- Backspace
Come see G-Eazy, Mod Sun, IaMe and Pat Brown for $15 at 7:30 p.m.
115 NW 5th Ave.
November 7 -Hauser LibFary Expedition: Secret Books -Reed College Library
Reed's library contains many mysterious books. These featured gems contain an array of hidden
accessories, unexpected contents and the potential to find a book you literally may not be able to
read. This event runs Monday -Friday 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. and Saturday and Sunday IO a.m. to 9 p.m.
3203 SE Woodstock Blvd
November 8 -Black Skies -Slabtown
Come and see ons of Hun , Black Skies, CaJrrop and Bi on Bi on at 9 p.m. for 5. 21 +
1033 NW 16Ave.
November 9 -The Devil Makes Three -The Crystal Ballroom
Come and see The Devil Makes Three for $23 at 9 p.m.
Cassie Bi hop & Brenna Murphy-E tus •
OYEMBER 2, 2012 THE PIONEER LOG
ARTS 9
PHOTO OF
WEEK THE
PHOTO BY SPENCER BYRNE-SERES (' 13)
"PASS THE SALT?"
Titus Andronicus Return to
Form, but at a.Cost
BY CJ MACLEOD
Staff Writer
At three guitars strong, clad in flannel,
beards and shaggy hair, New Jersey's Titus.
Andronicus are the archetype of the modern
rock band, but they've always done things a
bit differently. Their first record, 2008's The
Airing of Grievances is named after a Seinfeld
reference and their 20 l O work The Moni­
tor--centered around The Civil War-made
concept albums cool again. Full of guest vo­
cals and layered pares, The Monitor didn't
translate co the road, a no-go for a band
that's been heralded as one of the best live
acts goirig today.
Partly because of this difficulty, Titus An­
dronicus' newest offering, Local Business­
out now on XL Re·cordings-is a return co
form, of sorts. Guitars have been turned up,
drums furiously pound out heavy rhythms
and the songs swing with a groove chat
would make Springsteen proud.
Arguably the standout of the record, "Still
Life With Hot Deuce On Silver Platter"
finds Patrick Stickles waxing poecic about
addiction and understanding while the rest
of the band seamlessly transition through a
multitude of tempo shifts. Songs like "Ecce
Homo," with its pulsing rhythm guitar and vocals chat straddle the line berween whis­
pered and screamed, seem like they could
have come from the Los Campesinos! back­
cacalog.
The album runs the spectrum in regards co
musical style. "Food Fight!" feels like a long
lost New York Dolls song-harmonica and
all-and Dinosaur Jr.-like guitar solos pro­
pel the eighc-minuce "My Eating Disorder"
forward. The album is full of these longer
cues, but "My Eating Disorder" is che only
one where the length seems justified. The al­
bum's closer, "Tried To Quit Smoking," is 10
minutes of build with seemingly no climax
and leaves che album feeling somehow unfin­
ished. The same is true of"In A Small Body,"
which, coming after the raucous "In A Big
City," feels lacking in energy and spirit.
While it's great co see, or rather hear, Ti­
tus Andronicus stripped back co their roots,
it feels like the album runs about 20 min­
utes coo long. Half an hour of stripped-down
basement punk would be great, but at 50
minutes, the album drags and lulls in places.
This more low-key approach co song writing
must translate co an excellent, fervent live
show, but on record it's somehow missing
that ~oomph" that made the first records in­
credibly enjoyable.
KLC SHOW OF THE WEEK
PHOTO BY KATHERINE JERNIGAN
Emily Dorrel ('16) and Stephanie.Klosinski ('16)
host "Culture Shock" at KLC on Tuesdays, 5-6 p.m.
http://college.lclark.edu/student_life/klc_radio/ BY KATHERINE JERNIGAN
Staff Writer
Lewis & Clark prides itself on student in­
volvement in the international community.
Emily Dorrel (' 16) and Stephanie Klosinski
('16) exemplify this praised quality in one
avenue in particular: music. The pair decided
co host a show featuring music from around
the world. "We talked a lot chrough Face­
book and realized we have very similar music
tastes, and we thought it would be cool co do
a show together," Dorrel said.
"Culture Shock" features international
music that may often be overlooked. from
such countries as Zimbabwe, Lithuania and
South Africa, among ochers. Dorrel and
Klosinski select music that spans a variety of
genres.
"We play whatever music we want that's DANCE YOURSELF DEAD
The Dancing Hats, Finish Ticket, Gallop and R/D come to Lewis & Clark
for a free concert.
BY BRENNA MURPHY-ESTUS
Arts Editor
To parallel the highly-attended Sunburn
Festival held in the spring semester, mem­
bers of the KLC Radio station and Campus
Activities Board collaborated in bringing
The Dancing Hats, Gallop, Finish Ticket
and RID co Lewis & Clark tomorrow, Nov.
3. This free concert, Dance Yourself Dead,
has been in the works for quite a while, ac­
cording co KLC Manager Shannon Boern­
er ('15). "Different events coordinators
brought in bands co our meetings and said, 'I.
want these people co play here.' From there,
we did research co see what bands would be
good together, put on a good show for LC
students and would be rad," she explained.
The Dancing Hats (who recently released
their EP Rain Weather Music) is opening,
followed by Finish Ticker (a band recom­
mended by a CAB member) and Portland­
based group Gallop. Headlining the event is
DJ RID from southern California. Boerner
adds, "We wanted a variety so chat a multi­
tude of students could come."
With a name inspired by the LCD
Soundsyscem track, "Dance Yrself Clean",
KLC wanted Dance Yourself Dead co be
Heartbreak in
High Heels
BY ZIBBY PILLOTE
Editor-in-Chief
Lase Friday night, the Aladdin Theater
was transformed into an intimate solace. The
velour folding seats floated in air made of
glass, and it felt as though one broken breath
or sudden movement would cause the entire
room co shatter. The orchestrator of chis sur­
real scene was Mike Hadreas, better known
as Perfume Genius.
His 2012 release Put Your Back N 2 It
presents a filled-out and matured Hadreas
coming away from 2010's Learning. Boch
albums are intensely personal, wcruggling
with homophobia, suicide and his mother's
history of abuse. Despite the heavy nature
of the music, Hadreas is a flawless performer
and presented himself on stage quite well­
casually adorned in jeans, a white c-shirt and
heels he claimed co have purchased from Tar­
get earlier chat week_
Though nearing the end of the second
round of touring for Put Your Back N 2 It,
Hadreas performed his heartbreaking and
tender songs perfectly and with ease. His soft
voice echoed through the theater, and the
small, silent audience hung on every word.
His simple piano melodies matched with
numbing lyrics marked his ·style, making
Perfume Genius not only a unique perform­
er, but one who brings a refreshing perspec­
tive co the music scene.
international: music you can salsa co, blues,
rap or pop," said Klosinski. Artists include
Shreya Ghoshal, Die Anrwoord and Arny
Winehouse.
They plan out their shows far in advance
in order co provide listeners with informa­
tion about che music and the artists. The rwo
find their music through music biogs, Tum­
blr and an eclectic group of friends. "I fol­
low this one girl [on Tumblr] from England
who has really good music caste, and some­
times I play things char she posts," Klosinski
explained.
Dorrel and Klosinski's show is a window
into both the mainstream and underground
music of ocher cultures. "We research the
up-and-coming scuff from a lot of different
countries," Dorrel explained. "It's kind of a
mash-up of all che hidden gems from differ­
ent cultures and places." an opportunity for not only a Halloween­
themed event, but also for the radio station
as a whole co be represenred. "We want co
have a presence in the community and be
able co bring music alJ che rime. We know
we're a really active student body chat loves
music," says Emily Van Kough nett(' 15), who
is the events coordinaror for che KLC board.
"We wane ro show chat we can throw really
awesome concerts char aren't just any other
school event." KLC is working cowards be­
coming a more professional radio station this
year with concert ticket giveaways, having
artists come in co use the recording studio
and hosting more grand-scale concerts. Out­
sourcing is also really important in establish­
ing KLC as a player in the greater Portland
music scene.
With the combined efforts from both
KLC and CAB, four distinctive artists and
pose-Halloween vibes, Dance Yourself Dead
is sure co provide a night filled with music,
fun and, of course, dancing. Students are en­
couraged to wear their costumes.
Doors open at 7 p.m. and the show starts at
8 p. m. This event is Located in Stamm and is for
students only.
Indie Espionage
hits PDX
BY BRENNA MURPHY-ESTUS
Arts Editor
A Lonely Place for Dying, an independent
Cold War film directed by Oregon's very
own Justin Eugene Evans, is making its way
through the Portland area this week. I had
the pleasure of viewing this film before it was
released in ocher local locations. On a bud­
get of $200,000, Ev~ and his crew faced
the cask of recreating the look and feel of the
'70s while celling che politicalJy-charged tale
of a Russian KGB agent and a special agent
from the CIA.
Loaded with themes of cruse, fear and
bravery, A Lonely Place for Dying is shoe pre­
dominately in an abandoned prison outside
of Santa Fe, NM. The disorienting atmo­
sphere of che prison, complete with con­
fusing corridors, a voice-over system and
distinct lighting, helped foster the multiple
chase scenes in the film. Special Agent Rob­
ert Harper is sent ro find Nikolai Dzerzhin­
sky, confiscate che evidence he holds against
the CIA involving the Laos incidents dur­
ing the Vietnam War and kill him. After
much chasing, shooting, and fighting, the
rwo eventually team up only co find a special
force of CIA agents attacking the prison. In
these moments of near death, Dzerzhinsky
says co Harper, "Survive roday, plan for co-
" morrow.
As an independent movie, film festivals
are crucial for its publicity and distribution,
and A Lonely Place swept the festival rounds
with 53 coral nominations, 29 total wins
and 18 best features: Clearwater Film Fes­
tival and Beloit Internacional Film Festival
are a few of its many venues of success. This
film not only highlights the beauty of well
thought-out cinematography and a captivat­
ing plot line, but also reflects the benefits of a
small crew and simple production elements.
Supporting a local filmmaker is not the
only benefit of seeing A Lonely Place for Dy­
ing;, understanding the viewpoint of a period
piece through che lens (literally) of a non­
studio production is both rewarding and ex­
ceptional.
Buy your tickets now! www.cascadecickecs.com or
www.mcmenamins.com Meet the Director! Nov. 3 -
McMenamins Mission 8:00 and I 0: 15 p.m., PSU Fifth
Ave. 6:30, 8:30 and I 0:30 p.m. For more information:
hrrp://www.alone.lyplacefordying.com or hrrps://www.
facebook.com/ ALone.lyPlaceForDying • I I· 10 THE PIO EER LOG SPORTS OVEMBER 2, 2012
Soccer sets school record
and beats number one
confer·ence team • ID
BY ROCKY MCNEFF
Staff Writer
Women's soccer undoubt­
edly had their best weekend
of play during che cwo home­
coming games lase weekend.
The Lady Pios sec che Lewis &
Clark record for most games
won in conference play twice.
Saturday, chey came out co
face che Whitman Missionar­
ies and pulled through with a
win, beating their opponents
1-0. Emily Thompson ('16)
solidified her lead with most
goals on the team, with six,
when she scored for che Pio­
neers, kicking che ball inco
che far side of the nee. The
team was ecstatic after che big
win, since chis game sec che
school record (previously sec
in 2005) of six conference vic­
cories. unday, rhe ceam laced
up their cleats co play Whit­
worth, who was tied for first
place in conference.
The game proved co be
one-sided as che Pioneers held
possession for most of che
game, leaving che Pirates ex­
hausted and irritated. Natalie Levy (' 14) was the playmaker
of che game as she cook rhe
ball into the box in che 34th
minute and crossed a beau­
tifully placed ball righc co
Sarah Breninger (' 14) who
headed it in, scoring che win­
ning goal. Despite the aggres­
sive play, che defense held off
Whitworth from scoring, and
Geena Fong ('15) obtained
her sixth shut-out chis sea­
son. Levy explains chat "chis
weekend was more of a ym­
bolic weekend" in the sense
that "next year [the teams'
opponents) are nor going co
overlook [chem)." he said rhe
team is "concerned for [their)
future and che future of the
program" and seccing these re­
cords is just che beginning.
The new school record for
most conference wins in a sea­
son stands at seven but has cwo
chances co be beaten when che
Pioneers play ac George Fox
on Friday and play home on
aturday against Puget ound.
The Pioneers currently stand
7-4-3 and fourth in their con­
fer nee.
Homecoming dampens spirits:
football ]alls to Pacific
BY MADDIE LEE
Staff Writer
The Pioneers extended
their losing creak co four
games last weekend wirh
rheir 42-20 loss to Pacific
University, a ream they
haven't lose co since 1985.
le was a heartbreaking
game co have scheduled
during homecoming week,
paren cs weekend and e­
n ior Day.
"It hurts co cake a loss
during your lase home
game and on homecoming
week," said Evaristo Laron
(' 13), "Bur playing on chat
field with che eniors will
be an experience char I will
remember for a very long
time."
The Pacific Boxers
jumped out co an 11-0
lead over rhe Pioneers in
che fi~ c quarter. Lewis & Clark
started our the second quar­
ter trong, scoring a touchdown
wirhin che first three minutes.
The Pioneer defense then gave
LC a chance to cacch up by keep­
ing Pacific at bay until che lase minutes of rhe quarter.
However, che Pioneers were
unable to score. In che final six
minutes of the half, che Boxers
scored a couchdown and a field
goal co expand their lead co 21-7.
Wirh 36 seconds remaining,
it looked as if the Pioneers would PHOTO BY ANTOINE PETER
be heading into halftime down
by I 4. Then, Logan Koczian (' I 3)
ran a 99-yard kickoff return for a
touchdown co put che Pioneers
back in the game.
The Pioneers had another
great stare to che rhird quarter
with a 69-yard touchdown pass to
Nov. 2 I Soccer
Lewis & Clark
at George Fox
12:00 p.m. Evan Scanbro ('13), bur
char was to be che last
rime char they would
score chi game. The
Boxers continued to
build on their lead as
che Pioneers were un­
able to defend against
P.J. Mioaya's arm. Pa­
cific scored three more
touchdowns on passes
42 yard or longer.
The game was not
without its accomplish­
ments, however. can­
bro was 27 yards horc
of che all-ci me school
record for receiving
yards in a game with
231 yards. Although·
quarterback Keith
Welch ('13) returning
from a concussion last
week, rhrew rhree inter-
ceptions, he also rhrew
a career high of 391 yards pass­
ing.
"We needed to convert in the
red zone," explained tanbro.
"We moved the ball pretty well
all day, but we couldn't finish and
put points on the board."
Nov. 2 I Swimming
Lewis & Clark
at Pacific Lutheran
6p.m. PHOTO BY MAGGIE MCDERMUT
Curtis Shirey ('15) currently leads
the Pioneers in all-purpose yards,
averaging 117 yards a game.
Nov. 2 I Volleyball
Lewis & Clark
at Willamette
7p.m. OVEMBER 2, 2012 THE PIO EER LOG
SPORTS --­•
11
Blazing into a new era:
The 2012-2013 Trail Blazers season preview
BY PETER MELLING the organization. Nie Batum,
Staff Writer who averaged 13. 9 points and
Well, it is that time of year 4.6 rebounds last season and
again. The Portland Trail Blaz-almost went to Indiana in the
ers will rake the court for their offseason, could get an all-
43rd season and will try to star nod if he keeps working
keep up the rebuilding process towards improving his game
started last year. Bur how will and raising the level of play
it be accomplished? of the players around him,
Coming off of a 28-38 much like he was expected to
strike-shortened season and when the Blazers signed him
the hiring of General Man-in 2008. While he alone can­
ager Neil Olshey (formerly of not -completely turn the ream
the Los Angeles Clippers) and around, his continued success
Head Coach Terry Stotts (for-will greatly help the rebuild­
merly of the Atlanta Hawks ing process.
and the Milwaukee Bucks), rhe Starting from scratch is
Blazers have tried ro continue never easy for a ream, as fran­
rhe cleansing starred last year chis es often take years to
with the departures of Bran-produce a winner. Ir would
don Roy, Greg Oden, Gerald be unrealistic to expect a
Wallace and Marcus Camby. high playoff seeding or even
In fact, the only familiar a playoff appearance, bur it
stars left on the ream are La-would be realistic to expect
Marcus Aldridge, J .J. Hick-strong rookie performances
son, Nie Batum and Wesley and the continued matura­
Marrhews. Alongside first tion of the existing stars.
round draft picks Damian The team's slogan this year
• Lillard and Meyers Leonard, is "New Dream. New Team."
these established players will While it may seem cliched, it
have ro step into the sporJight is fitting for the modus ope­
and grow into larger roles in randi of the Blazers this year. ILLUSTRATION BY SAMANTHA SARVET
How Lance Armstrong is like everybody else
BY CALEB DIEHL
Staff Writer
Lance Armstrong, the im­
mortal messenger of the
Livestrong foundation, died
hard. Monday, Oct. 22, the UCI
(Union Cyclisre Internationale)
stripped him of seven Tour De
France wins and permanently
banned him from cycling's most
prestigious race.
Livestrong, however, has
lived up to its name. Donations
to the charity actually spiked af­
ter Armstrong's demise. The or­
ganization is already looking for
a new name, and that shouldn't
be much of a problem.
Armstrong's victory streak
spanned seven straigh't years,
from 1999 to 2005 and seemed
improbable, mostly because beating a horde of steroid-in­
fused maniacs will always be an
impressive achievement, partic­
ularly when done seven times.
The UCI should be commended
for refusing to offer the titles to
the next Armstrong imitator in
the doping platoon.
The case doesn't deserve to
be breaking news, however. It
means little for cycling, a spore·
in which the most questionable
training strategies often come
out on top.
Weekend cyclists sometimes
wonder what divine internal
stamina compels these men to
undertake grueling endurance
tests and engage in illicit prac­
tices to oyercoine them. The
sponsors, in contrast, have it
right. They wonder how much
An Easr._ Sweep_:
Giants clinch the
title in a four-
• game series
ILLUSTRATION BY FRANCES LI ,. .,. ~
q , .,. ~ u-o
Qqqo<? -<>'II .,a
11 I} a // 9 'I ll a o 11
o Du.ta u00a l/ b,"Qu
u a o
0 Q 4 ° Cl~ 0
()
0 • a
I • b money they have to pay to get
their name in front, and that's
what matters.
Armstrong allegedly cur fi­
nancial deals with regulators
and undoubtedly paid untold
sums to doctors and drug deal­
ers. When someone accused
him of those transactions, he
sued them. The dizzying cash
flow harks back to the days
when high profile con tests
could still be dominated by am­
ateurs.
Armstrong will keep all the
money he accrued from lucra­
tive contracts, including Nike,
Anhauser Bush and even rhe
U.S. Postal Service. He will
keep the millions he used to lie
and cheat. Regardless of how it
ha1ppened, rhe brands recognize
BY LAUREN LOVATO
Staff Writer
To spores watchers everywhere,
a sweep is considered rhe most un­
satisfying outcome in professional
sports. Bur Giants fans couldn't
care less. This past week, the San
Francisco Giants clinched the
World Series title in a four-game
sweep, making it look easy co any
onlooker.
Execution of the simplest ele­
ments of the game was what drove
chem co rarcle the Detroit Tigers
early on in rhe series. Pablo Sando­
val of the Giants was a major con­
tributor to the Tigers' becoming
frightened lircle kittens.
In game one, his bar was on fire
and hit a historic four for four with
three home runs, two of which
were off one of the best pitch­
ers in the Bigs, Justin Yerlander.
He joined legendary players Babe
Ruth, Reggie Jackson and Albert
Pujols in hitting three home runs
in a World Series game. Overall,
Sandoval had a phenomenal bar-the work he did. Negative pub­
licity might force them to cut
their ties now, but a single ath­
lete's troubles doesn't dull the
luster of the cash they received
throughout many successful
years.
Lance Armstrong is just like
a huge corporation. Doping is
a great economic decision be­
cause the risks of getting caught
remain low, and he isn't even
gaining an unfair advantage. In
modern professional cycling,
just keeping up with the pack
drives athletes to use the same
techniques as their peers. If
more people were clean, the re­
maining cyclists would have an
even greater advantage. Ocher
athletes would note their dom­
inance and start spending for
ting average of .500 in the se­
ries.
But his role on offense wasn't
the only reason he was named
MVP of the series. Defensively, he
led the Giants at third base with
some outstanding plays. Marco
Scutaro and Brandon Crawford
were also clutch in the middle in­
field, giving the pitching staff a
cushion to fall back on.
Relievers Jeremy Affeldt, San­
tiago Casilla, Jose Mijares, Tim
Lincecum and Sergio Romo to­
gether had an outstanding perfor­
mance. Combined, they pitched
11.1 innings against the Tigers
without giving up a single run.
Of the pitchers, Romo shined
the brightest. With nine batters,
he did not allow any base runners.
He also struck out Triple Crown
recipient Miguel Cabrera to win
the tide.
Of course, Buster Posey made
an incredible impact, coo. Even
though he didn't have the best se­
ries, he clutched up in the sixth in-drugs again.
The tough measures tak­
en against Lance Armstrong
remind athletes that getting
caught brings harsh condemna­
tion. But that only happens if
they get caught. Until the di­
verse, prolific repertoire of ille­
gal drugs is somehow eliminat­
ed or drug-resting technology
improves, the dynamics of the
sport will be the same.
We must all admire a victori­
ous clean athlete, if such a thing
can exist in the coming years.
Fans and competitors must ac­
cept their situation, however,
because the scenarios for deal­
ing with rhe doping problem are
just like the Tour de France rac­
es from 1999 to 2005. Nobody
wins.
ning of game four, hitting a two­
run homer that put rhe Giants on
top 3-2. Defensively, he guided his
ream co victory. Nor only did he
make a game-changing play at the
plate in game two, but he handled
the pitchers with perfect ease.
In coral, the Giants scored 16
runs, and seven were done with
two ours on the board. This just
shows t~ar these players work
well under pressure. As for rhe
Tigers, they couldn't have choked
any worse. Detroit scored only six
runs in four games in comparison
co the 16 runs of the Giants. As
a ream, they hit .159 with a .489
OPS in the process. The pitching
performance by Justin Verlander
was the most disappointing.
The Cy Young recipient started
the series with one of the worse
games of his career. On a high­
er note, the Tigers are currencly
equipped and capable of returning
co the 2013 World Series. As fans
often say after a championship
loss, "There's always next year." • 12 THE PIO EER LOG
BACK.DOOR NOVEMBER 2, 2012
Backd
-ID
So, Halloween didn't go quite as planned. You promised
your girlfriend that you would dress up as a horse together,
but you completely forgot about the costume party you two
were supposed to go to.
She showed up as a horse's rear end and waited
around for you, drinking by herself in the corner and
frowning unattractively. Drunken partygoers pointed and
shouted slurs of "jack ass!" in her direction, to which she
replied 'Tm a horse," drying her eyes with her synthetic tail.
You showed up two hours later to find your
sweetheart encircled by a group of sexy Disney princesses,
who were cackling and neighing at her. And you weren't even
wearing your costume because it was "too itchy"?
Well, that was pretty inconsiderate of you! But even if
you can never repair her trust, maybe you can patch things
up.
Try buying your girlfriend a lot of chocolate candies,
because girls like chocolate. Mixed bags of Halloween candy
are also on sale. You can even keep half the bag for yourself,
if you put some in a nice box or decorated Ziploc baggy for
her. Avoid the Tootsie Rolls, though-those things are like little
poops.
If that doesn't work, pick up a particularly crunchy­
looking dead leaf. Draw your face on it. Then crush it in
your fist. Let your girlfriend watch as your pride symbolically
crumbles to tiny flecks and drifts away on the wind. This
gesture is humble and appropriately fall-themed.
As a last resort, give her a pumpkin with her name
carved into it. Make sure you spell it right.
The Baclldoor's Guide to ...
Class Registration
Part I
I know what you're thinking. Class Registration? What Is this, Nazi Germany?
Relax, It's not like that. And the only pill anyone's gonna force you to take Is a chill
pill. Here's one way to select your first class. Be sure to read next week, on how to
frantically realize you don't have enough time to pick one class a week.
1 You're gonna start by listing your top ten options in no
particular order, then write each class on a single sheet of
paper.
2 Next, put the papers into a blender and get it mixed up really
well. Now you have the confetti. Save this for later.
3 This next part can be tough, but you need to invite 10 friends
over for a 10 person sweater party (no less, no more).
4 When the mood strikes, spray the paper confetti into the
crowd of friends. Poof! Your next class selection is the number
that corresponds to how many confused friends leave the
party early. Congratulations! You: Extendable ladder. Uou
Me: Shouldn't have missedf I auuhtMvEve my chance to climb it. You: A superstar who used to be here.
Me: Wearing socks with Me: Thinking about you. All day, err day.
sandals. You: Uploading awkward facebook photos.
You: Too easily offended. Me: Wondering why you're so perfect.
You: Claimed to have a lot in You: Wearing a Kingdom Hearts t-shirt.
common with Barack Obama. Me: Wanting to share a paopu fruit with you.
Me: Wishing I had more in You: Trumpet playing sweater man.
common with Monica Lewinsky. Me: Tangled up in you:
You: Not here. You: Sitting in class without shoes on.
Me: Not happy. Me: Knowing your feet are f*cking cold.
You: Spruce men done suited up. You are LYING.
Us: Juniper ladies looking for a You: Don't date computer nerds.
treesome. Me: Challenge accepted.
Submit to cvtJerspace, the ten best get paper-SP ■ce. voucauuhtmVevelC.blegspotcam
-
Hey lnickname from preschooll ,
I just checked my (technological devicel and it
looks like you're in for some lextremeweather
patternl up there at lnameofcollegel this week -
hope you've got your coat! ; )
Speaking of wearing coats and not wearing coats,
I noticed those Halloween pictures you put up on
your lsocial networking sitel. Wow-wee, young
lady! Now, I know you think I'm a total lanUquated
term for loserl, but I certainly do not want my
daughter lverbl around dressed up as a "sexy"
ltvpe Of animall, looking quite like a lanUquated
term for Slutl. And who was that boy with you? He
looks shady to me, a real lnameofvillainfroma
movie nobodv has watched in 20 vearsl-type. Hey,
your old pop is only looking out for you.
Anyway, I'd better go. Your mom and I are about
to watch a new episode of lshowthatairedthree
years agol -I won't spoil it for you, but it's getting
very ladiectlvel!
Love you,
Dad
The Feud ot Clark and lewis
A fight broke out manvvears ago~ The fight was no
different from many others. Fingernails scratched, swear words
flew, and two guys ended up with a lot of heavy bruising on their
shoulders and upper arms.
The fight itself may not have been unique, but the players
were. They were the duo who provided our glorious institution's
name, the venerable Meriwether Lewis and William Clark.
"What?" you say, "I thought Lewis and Clark were gay
lovers. Why would they ever fight?"
Well first of all, gay couples fight too, you ignorant
jerk. Second, they weren't a gay couple. They were two manly,
fingernail-having, shoulder-punching dudes who had a serious
bone to pick with one another about what order in which their
names should be written in the anals of history. I mean annals.
To be sure, Mr. Clark had a good point. When one is
endeavoring to place the names of two individuals together so as
to refer to them as one entity, in order to preserve fairness and
prevent the appearance of favoritism, one would typically go the
route of making it somebody else's decision. The Alphabet to the
rescue. The arbitrary ordering of the letters that comprise the
English language has provided direction to countless duos caught
in the throes of trying to figure out in which order to write their
names.
Why then was the alphabet not brought on to consult
in this issue? Or, if it was, why was its advice so completely
ignored? The answer apparently lies in Mr. Clark's embarrassing
susceptibility to titty twisters.
Be Hile Noah Dates! Lille us on Facebooll!
And Follow@TheBaclldoorlC
The Backdoor is a work of humor and fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental. The Backdoor is created by Isaac, Caitlin, Kevin, David, Justin & Jake.
Contact the Editor at jakesimonds@lclark.edu to complain about how this issue is really wordy. Then learn to read.