Lewis & Clark College

The Pioneer Log: Lewis & Clark College’s Student-Run Newspaper

Volume 74, Number 19

Lewis & Clark College Student Newspaper

Pioneer Log Staff

2010-03-12

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Newspaper

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Lewis & Clark College: Pioneer Log / Mossy Log

·--· ~-~- --:---:;?..=---- -----------~---~.-
The Science of Gender and Sex:
The 29th Annual Gender Studies Symposium questions whether sex is like dancing or digestion.
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PHOTO BY SAM MARGEVICIUS
Keynote speaker Leonore Tiefer asks students, "What kind of a thing is sexuality?"
by Laura Nash
Dr. Leonore Tiefer spoke on the
problems with the medicalization
of human sexuality on Wednesday
night at the keynote lecture "Is Sex
More Like Dancing or Digestion?"
part of the 29th Annual Gender
Studies Symposium, The Science of
Gender and Sex. Council Chamber
was packed with Lewis & Clark
students and faculty.
Dr. Tiefer, Clinical Associ­
ate Professor in the Department
of Psychology at NYU School of
Medicine, began by comparing
two different models of sexuality:
the dance model and the digestion model. The digestion model of sex
depicts sexual activity as genetically
built~in, unchanging over a life­
time. According to this model, sex
is either healthy or unhealthy and
problematic if it changes or differs
from someone else's experience of
sex.
The dance model considers
sex as culturally learned, subject
to growth and change. In this ap­
proach, people revise their expecta­
tions depending on their partners
and situation, and there are a wide
range of styles.
Talent is another character­
istic of the dance model of sex.
"Talent," said Tiefer, "chis is not a happy word when it comes to sex."
People use medicalization to excuse
their poor sexual ability or their in­
ability to perform.
Dr. Tiefer said, "I really do
think that 1998 was a critical mo­
ment in sexual history." This is the
year that Viagra was introduced
into the pharmaceutical market.
"Every technology you can
chink of. .. has had a tremendous
influence on human sexuality.
There's no going back," said Tiefer.
This, according to Tiefer, includes
Greek pottery, cars, and the In­
ternet. But Viagra and a variety of
other pharmaceuticals have had the
Continued on pg. 2, SEX
Dr. Bill laudes knowledge
by Nichole Carnell
What do William James, Bob
Dylan, knowledge and the seven
dwarfs have in common? In the
most recent Memory Studies Lec­
ture, Professor William Cole men­
tioned them all and cold students
we are here for knowledge.
"Knowledge is the key to under­
standing life," Cole said. While a
hefty portion of his lecture rook the
audience through a whirlwind tour
of the history of memory studies,
the really juicy stuff came cowards
the end. Cole told the group of
Continued on pg. 2, MEMORY PHOTO BY SAM MARGEVICIUS Professor William Cole suggested that students encode
lessons as stories. I! -
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Sui~clUPTIONs AVAILABLE.
Co:NTAc:r,l>,(QLOG@LCLARl(JIDU FOR
MORE INFORMATION. the Pioneer Log, March 12, 2010
Gender studies symposium lecture:
"Pink Brain, Blue Brain: Hormones, Learning, and the Biology of Sex Differences"
by Tom Meath
Associate Professor of Neu­
roscience at Chicago Medical
School Lise Eliot presented a
lecture on the biology of sex dif­
ferences as part of The Science of
Gender and Sex, the 29th Annu­
al Gender Studies Symposium.
Her lecture, "Pink Brain, Blue
Brain: Hormones, Learning and
the Biology of Sex Differences,"
focused on the lack of clear dif­
ferences between the male and
female brain.
According to Eliot, the inher­
it differences between the male
and female brain are modest.
Instead differences are the result
of the plasticity of the brain to
environmental and social fac­
tors. ber of pop-psychology articles
and books that exaggerate the
evolutionary differences between
the sexes. These publications
often cite small studies that are
later refuted by further research.
One of the examples refer­
enced by Eliot was John Gray's
Men are from Mars, Women are
from Venus, which claims males
and females behave differently
because their brains are wired
differently. She discussed the
troubling effect this text is hav­
ing upon education.
"This Mars/Venus philoso­
phy is being pushed onto our
children," said Eliot. "It is almost
becoming gospel among teachers
today, leading to a whole new
kind of stereotyping."
"Nothing is hardwired. Ev­
erything is learned and en­
forced through this neural plas­
ticity," said Eliot. "What you
do with your brain is how it is
wired."
Eliot criticized the large num-Believed differences between
males and females lead teachers
to treat girls and boys different­
ly. Eliot believes this is partially
contributing to boys falling be­
hind in school.
Eliot maintained that while
tangible differences do exist be-tween men and women, the
larger differences are the re­
sult of small differences in the
brain coupled with social effects
through plasticity. "Men are not from Mars, and
Women are not from Venus,"
said Eliot. "Women are from
North Dakota, Men are from
South Dakota."
Is sex like
dancing or
digestion? .
continued from pg. I, SEX
greatest influence.
Many marketing campaigns claim, "It's
not all in your head," arguing instead that all
sexual problems begin in the body. As a psy­
chologist, Tiefer takes issue with this.
She does not agree with the digestion
model of sex, and does not believe that med­
icine is necessary to, or can, fix all sexual
problems. Instead, Tiefer supports a celebra­
tion of sexual diversity.
One journalist, while asking Tiefer about
her research, asked a question about her own
sex life. "By the way, she asks me if there are
any new treatments for postmenopausal dry­
ness and pain during intercourse," said Ti­
efer. Tiefer's first impulse was to questioning
the journalist about her sex life, and encour­
age her to approach her sexuality differently.
"How can I get this woman to think less
about digestion and more about dancing?"
asked Tiefer.
PHOTO BY GARIK ASPLUND
The window in the door to Temple­
ton by the mailroom was broken
sometime Wednesday night. Dr. Willian1 Cole delivers
lecture praising knowledge.
continued from pg. 1, MEMORY
students and faculty members that with
knowledge, life becomes interesting.
What is his advice to utilizing the
things we learn? "Make it a story," he said.
The things that we give deep meaning are
going to stick with us for years to come
and the best way to give them meaning is
to encode them as stories. In two words,
"anchor and extend."
Cole's advice to faculty is to tell sto-
"Knowledge is the key
to understanding life,"
said Cole.
ries. First, "anchor," or figure out what
the audience knows, and then extend their
knowledge. "Make 'em laugh, make 'em
cry, and quick, teach them something,"
said Cole.
'.•I•
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by Tom Meath
nuqneH, PioLogger!
(Hello, PioLogger!} :•I•
Hoghvam, HeS moq 'el vegh tlhlngan *.
(This week, Crime Beat come through
Klingon*.)
yllop! wa'leS chaq maHegh!
(Celebrate! Tomorrow we may die!)
• Graffiti was discovered m
Templeton Student Center on
March 4.
Qu' buSHa'chugh Suvwl'. batlhHa' van­
gchugh, qoj matlhHa'chugh, pagh ghaH
-·••: Armed with this knowledge, our young
minds will be able to encode more efficiently
and we will be able to see connections and
possibilities other won't be able to see. Moral
of this story: make stories.
....
BEAT
.■I•
Suvwl"e'.
(If a warrior ignores duty, acts dishonor­
ably, or is disloyal, he is nothing.)
plpyuS pach DaSop DaneHchugh; plpy~
uS puS DaghornIS.
(If you want to eat pipius claw, you'll have
to break a Jew pipiuses.)
*Editor's Note: ft is immensely difficult
to translate from and to Klingon. Mod­
ern translation programs only map words
from one language to another. This of
course ignores the grammatic and linguis­
tic intricacies of the Klingon language.
The staff at Crime Beat have no intention
of dishonoring our Klingon Comrades.
Heghlu'meH QaQjajvam.
.-I•IJ_1--.,_*J!11111111111111F ..... .-I■: thePioneerLog,March12,2010 -•mmt•li.... 3
Editor's Note: ASLC elections
could mean something this year
by Angela Webber
There is a quote on the wall of the Pioneer
Log office; I don't know when it was put up
there, but it says: ''ASLC is the smiley-faced
puppet that tells us what the administration
is going to do to us, and why everything is
going to be okay."
These days, that is not wholly accurate.
Associated Students of Lewis & Clark is a
real thing. ASLC has certainly spent its fair
share of time chis year validating things the
administration asks it to validate. The ad­
ministration has even worked to make stu­
dent senate more legitimate, somewhat suc­
ceeding in creating a semi-representative
body where policies can get "student input."
But senate is looked on now by some ad­
ministrators as a shortcut for "student in­
put." If the College is going to use ASLC
and senate that way, it is our interest to do
so as well. Pay attention to the election, run
for office or serve on a board, and you won't
be shocked when smoking gazebos are insti­
tuted.
This is not to say student government
has the power to change everything-it has
passed a bit of legislation this year that the
administration, or anyone, can just say "no"
to. Resolutions are not much more than a
statement of student approval-if IT doesn't
have the staff or time to help individual
students give unused print balance to their
friends, they aren't going to set up a system
for it, for example.
But if students can pressure the admin­
istration to do anything, it seems that the
College will listen most through elected rep­
resentation, and ASLC's current structure
is better suited for this than it has been in a
while. Not voting because ASLC can't make
a difference is just not an argument anymore.
Please don't make me moderate a debate
for seven non-contested candidates again ...
ASLC election applications were released
Wednesday. And if you don't already have PHOTO BY SAM MARGEVICIOUS
an e-mail filter for Student Government e­
mails, you probably ignored the message
anyway. Last year's ASLC elections ended up
having one contested race. At least nine posi­
tions were filled without competition. I have
a good feeling that this year's races may not
be so uncontested.
Last year, ASLC adopted a new constitu­
tion that instituted a senate. This senate has
brought some much-needed debate to our
student government. There are dissenting
voices, there is legislation being passed, and
people are hearing about it. LC is small, but
there are debates to be had, and student sen­
ate has been a place for that to happen. This
election season, I am looking forward to can­
didates who have a platform to run on.
Presidential and Vice Presidential can­
didates need to have one year of service in
ASLC senate, meaning they need to know
what student government does and how­
that also means if you didn't have time for
student government chis year, or you 'ran-and
were not elected in those low-turnout elec­
tions, you are just out of luck... though,
chances are you weren't going to run anyway,
I suppose.
The rest of the elections this year require
candidates to have served one year on an
ASLC board, which stands to reason as all
of those positions are heads of one of those
boards. All these requirements may seem like
the institutionalization of ASLC as an in­
sider's club; I would be more concerned if I
wasn't encouraged by the dissenting voices of
the senate, but I'm still concerned.
There are positions that were eliminated
from the election: ASLC secretary will now
be a non-elected, paid position. The Glob­
al Engagement Board is being dissolved, so
there will not be a chair for that committee
in the executive cabinet. Perhaps fewer elect­
ed positions will mean that students will pay
more attention. It certainly means that there
will be more useful content to the PioLog's
ASLC candidate debate.
Registration is now open.
Session I May 17-June 25
Session II June 28-August 6 go.lclark.edu/college/summer Letters to
the Editor
SEED responds to last issue's editorial: Green fee increase is simple and powerful
Yes, we care about the environment.
But the attempt to raise the green energy fee is about more than t_hat. It is about recog­
nizing the social costs generally overlooked by traditional "life-cycle cost-benefit analyses."
Money spent on fossil fuels, particularly coal, does not represent the negative externalities
such energy sources produce.
When coal is mined, not just birds and trees suffer. It isn't even just the globe as a whole,
which must adjust to human-induced changes in greenhouse gas levels. It's the people in
the communities where coal is mined and burned who bear the brunt of environmental
degradation and health effects. The over 600 signatures in support of this change that we
have gathered simply by talking to students in dorms or outside the Bon attest co the fact
that most LC students are genuinely interested in recognizing and accepting responsibility
for their energy use. We do not want or need impoverished coal communities to subsidize
the energy use of our private liberal arts school.
It's true that electricity accounts for "only" 36% of Lewis & Clark's emissions. But this
36% totals more than 4.5 million pounds of carbon emissions per year. Every Lewis &
Clark student is thus responsible for the extraction of roughly 0.75 tons of coal. We realize
the green fee increase won't immediately overhaul our energy system. But investing our
money in wind energy normalizes alternative energy technologies and provides financial
incentive for the development of new and improved energy options. Wind energy is not
some quirky fad, much less the status quo.
We support reducing Lewis & Clark's emissions in all ways, but raising the green fee is
simple and powerful. Committing to a higher fee will dramatically reduce our emissions
and provide a precedent for student-driven institutional change.
This is the low-hanging fruit.
Students Engaged in Eco-Il&fense
Garik Asplund, author of the original article, responds:
There are also externalities associated with wind power, and many reasons why, despite its
promise, it has not made significant dents in generating electricity First, many windmills kill
birds. Aside from this irony, wind energy is unreliable and needs to be backed up. So far this
has been done with hydropower, but since wind has expanded greatly already, natural gas will
pick up the slack. Implementing all of these backups is not cheap. Finally, wind farms are loud.
Union, in eastern 011gon, has recently _peen fighting to keep wind farms away because of all
their nuisances.
Most important, however, is the fact that we at LC are not in fact using any new green
energy from the fee. RECs are at best a fambled subsidy, and at worst a scam. Understanding
what SEED's program pays for is paramount.
A third view on the student senate issue, and empowering the students
In response to the letters about the senate in the past two weeks, I would like to say
that both Mr. Garcia and the cabinet are wrong.
The senate is surely not failing, as Mr. Garcia claims it is. If you look at the admin­
istration's response to us over the past two semesters, the change is marked. Now, when
student groups such as SEED come to the administration asking for an increase in green
fees, [Vice President for Business & Finance] Carl Vance says they must first pass a bill in
the senate before he will speak with them. Another hoop to jump through, perhaps, but
this is a clear acknowledgement of our legitimacy.
As for the cabinet's response, it paints too sugarcoated a picture of the true going-ons
of the senate's activities. The senate is not failing, but the senators could stand to do a
whole lot more.
Yes, we have passed several resolutions on weighty issues, but the cabinet didn't men­
tion that two student groups-not senators-proposed and wrote these two pieces of
legislation. Moreover, most of the senators have not even proposed any resolutions. I've
asked chis of my senators in senate and I will ask it again here: Why did you become
senators if you don't care about any issues at chis school? This is a failure of the senators,
not the senate.
• Finally, on the handful of resolutions we have passed, there has been little to no
follow-through. The senate needs to be held accountable for the resolutions its members
pass. This accountability has been noticeably absent throughout the past and present
semesters.
Finally, a word on student empowerment.
The students of Lewis & Clark are so unempowered, it's pathetic. Without us, this
institution does not exist. Without our money, Lewis & Clark cannot operate. How can
we be so nai've as not to realize that if any significant majority of students demanded a
change at chis school, the administration would damn well listen and oblige?
When is anyone going to realize that chis means WE have the power?
Jared Schy
College of Arts and Sciences
Class of2012
The Pioneer Log accepts and encourages letters to the editor from all students, staff,
faculty, and community members_ Submissions should be kept under 300 words and
sent to piolog@lclark.edu by Monday at 6 p.m. 4 -•rnm,,u... thePioneerLog,March12,2010
Devil's Advocate: When to STAND and w-hen to sit
A critical look at humanitarian intervention, history, and war in Sudan.
by Garik Lawson Asplund
Students Against Genocide (STAND)
has been making a fuss about the investing
policies of the College by fervently interrupt­
ing students eating dinner or going to class
and asking them to sign a petition. It is their
hope that LC will divest from companies
who are unjust, and, more specifically, sup­
port genocide.
Regrettably, their logic is severely flawed.
Let's review the argument: LC invests its
money in hopes of making returns to fund
the school's operations. These mutual funds
invest in big oil companies. PetroChina is an
oil company. PetroChina does business in
Sudan. The Sudanese government collects
fees from PetroChina as a part of doing busi­
ness. Some government funds are used to
buy weapons, and some members of the Jan­
jaweed kill people from opposing groups in
Darfur with those weapons. Therefore, LC is
supporting these killings and should divest
from PetroChina.
Yet, the way that this is presented to stu­
dents, administrators, and the / public is,
"PetroChina and other big oil companies are
supporting the genocide in Sudan." Never­
mind the fact that PetroChina has no busi­
ness in Sudan....:._its parent company China
Natio0al Petroleum Corporation has that
distinction-or that any money spent in Su­
dan is not directly "supporting" genocide. In
addition, very few people or countries actu­
ally recognize the current Darfur conflict as
genocide.
Almost everyone knows that there is
genocide in Darfur, yet few know where
exactly Darfur is in Sudan, and fewer still
understand the root causes of the conflict.
Darfur was independent until an Egyptian
businessman, mostly concerned with ivory,
forcibly took control of the country after a
power struggle for sultan in the mid 1870s.
Sudan is divided by the Sahel,
separating the dry north and the
lush south. Arabs are predominant
in the north, while blacks inhabit
most of the south. Darfur is located
in the west of the country. Under colonial rule, present-day Darfur was
first subjected to domination from Egyptian
Arabs and Englishmen. Later, after Britain
established Sudan, things changed, but in
name only; bloody resistance fighting and
rebellions continued. In 1899 Darfur was
again allowed to be a sultanate, but was
quickly reabsorbed 17 years later lest it take
sides with the Ottoman Empire in WWI.
The most recent conflict-skipping over
"The humanitarian in
theory is the terrorist in
. " action.
a civil war in the south during the 1980s and
ongoing tensions with Eritrea to the east­
has arisen because of tensions between the
nomadic Baggara, Arab cattle herders, and
the Fur-settled agriculturalists. Essentially,
water, land, and other important resources
are being fought over because of changes in
the Sahel, the ecoborder that separates the
northern Sahara desert from the southern
Sudanese savannas.
Furthermore, in the Black Book, a 2000
book akin to Paine's Common Sense, the
transgressions of the northern Arabs are
listed in detail. The book spread like wild­
fire, and a second book came out two years
later. Rebel groups under this persuasion
then took up arms to rebel against the gov­
ernment in 2003. Notice how it is the rebels
who instigated fighting, and not the govern­
ment that swept in to eradicate them. Since
the fighting is more along the lines of dis­
satisfaction with government domination
and qualms ,over property rights, it is inap­
propriate to 1abel the killings as genocide or
ethnocide.
Another blow to the genocide argument
is that the statistics on the death-count are
severely misleading. Different sources esti­
mate the death-toll to be as low as 50,000,
while others claim that over 400,000 have
died. The vast majority of all of these deaths
comes from starvation and disease, not at the
hand of another human. Yet, when the press
reports these numbers, they fail to mention
this, and instead give the impression that all
400,000 have been slaughtered maliciously.
Of course, the humanitarian's response to
this will be that there needs to be more food,
medicine, and overall goodness showered
upon the people. This is said without inves­
tigating how past humanitarian efforts have
encouraged killing, increased starvation, and
showered money to Westerners.
Isabel Patterson once wrote, "The hu­
manitarian in theory is the terrorist in ac­
tion." Harsh words. The problem with aid
programs is that they distort, and later de­
stroy, any markets for food that were there in
the first place. Farmers are undercut by free
food shipments that the West pays for (UN
budget for Sudan refugee camps in 2010?
$175 million), meaning their livelihoods dis-r.~,.·· .. •t&; ~.· ®"•; • "'l'" ,),"<'.,, ',:; ,. '. '
ft'
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appear. Wednesday's New York Times cover
story reported that over half of food aid for
Somalia is stolen or misused. This is not a
breaking story-in fact, this has been the
norm for over 30 years. And for those who
were nomads, the very idea of sanitation is
as alien as those who bring them free food.
Since there were vast expanses in which to do
their business, the cramped quarters of refu­
gee life are quickly degraded to utopias for
disease and death. Any semblance of civiliza­
tion is thus ruined.
Will STAND make the logical extension
of their beliefs and protest paying taxes to the
US government because of its involvement
in the Iraqi genocide? Or better yet, will it
Since the fighting is more
along the lines of dissatis­
faction with government
domination, it is inappro­
priate to label the killings
as genocide.
decide to simply refuse to pay taxes in line
with their toured super-morality? Probably
not. Yet the transgressions of US foreign pol­
icy-Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia and Kosovo, µ E-t.P
END THE
\(.llLIN~
,OOA'<!
ILLUSTRATION BY AUNA LARSON
Somalia, Panama, Iran-Iraq, Vietnam ... -
are far worse than any contributions from
PetroChina or other "immoral" companies.
Tracking the money you pay in taxes is much
easier than running through the murky in­
vestments of the College, anyhow. Four
cents of every dollar you spend will end up
going towards the US's current war efforts
in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. Follow­
ing STAND's logic, we may as well stop us­
ing money altogether so that we can save the
lives oflraqi and Sudanese citizens.
Stopping genocide or other armed con­
flicts by attempting to cut off the money
spigot either in divestment of sanctions is
not productive. The killing will continue
with or without oil money, no matter how
smug we may feel chat none of our money is
funding murder. The true problems that are
being fought over-property rights to land,
racial discrimination, oppression---do not
go away when we in America decide to place
our funds elsewhere, and often the murders
become more inhuman (Cambodia, any­
one?). Depressing as it sounds, the citizens
of Sudan, Chad, and the Central African Re­
public will have to sort their shit out on their
own.
"Help" from outsiders will interfere with
claims of sovereignty or independence, dras­
tically distort a myriad of incentives, and
only make things worse.
Opinions from the hallway What national ·or global issue is most important to you?
PHOTOS BY ALEXA JOHNSON AND CATHERINE GRELLA
Shaun Goodman ('13)
"Equality ... people's
rights." Claire Flanagan ('12)
"Environmental justice, mean­
ing access to clean water and
having control over what
chemicals go into your body." Ben Tapscott ('11)
"Marijuana
legalization." Julian Boshard ('12)
"Nuclear
disarmament." Gillian Sullivan-Bing ('12)
"Genocide in the
C " ongo. Rachel Young ('11) mv·~ -: m
"Climate change -the
most important
global issue." thePioneerLog,March 12,2010 -•mmt•H-- 5
Tips for success on first drafts and first dates
by Marley Badolati
During my
struggle to
find something
worth writ­
ing about this
week, I realized
that as studen rs
we have to
come up with
interesting and
insightful pa­
per topics for
class on a fair­
ly regular ba-
sis. Professors will not always give you
a question to answer, and many of us
have tragically found out that it is im­
mensely more difficult to propose and
answer your own questions than some­
one else's. Most of us have also come to
realize how.horribly first dates can go.
And yes: There is a metaphor about to
happen right now.
In order to help those who find them­
selves in situations similar to mine -des­
perately reaching for something to say
-I've prepared a few simple steps for
success in writing a paper and having a
good first dare:
1) Start playfully. Before you sit down
in front of your Macbook and pound out
some blabber of a thesis statement, try
some no-pressure freewriting. Just write
down some things that you've found in­
teresting or confusing in the text until
you have something to work from. The
worst thing to do is to keep a conclusion
waiting in the back of your mind. The
paper will feel forced and narrowly con­
fined in a corset of expectation that is
both unnatural and uninteresting.
The same goes for embarking on a
first date: If you worry yourself about
how the dare will end, the conversation
will not develop naturally and inevitably
you'll leave the date without knowing
anything of substance about the other
person. You might end up treating it as
a question and answer session instead of
a date -providing the conversation only
with what you think will make you look
good in the end. This style of interac­
tion comes off as insincere and some­
what nauseating; it's best if you avoid
thinking about conclusions all together
at first. When you do start to write, keep
in mind that. ..
2) You don't have to start with a thesis
statement. Oh, Thesis Statement, such
trickery is hidden in thee! You tell us to summarize our argument in one sentence
at the end of the intro paragraph. Oh,
Intro Paragraph, you ask us to summa­
rize the contents of the paper within the
first few sentences! I say to thou, NO!
Why refute the almighty introduction?
Because it's just not a great place to start.
You don't want trap yourself early on
by saying, 'Tm a vegan and I only like
three things: vintage, green tea, and pup­
pies. Let me tell you why." Now, what if
you want to talk about other things that
you like? You can't, you've already said
everything we need ro know. Even if you
want to change your mind, it's too late -
everything that diverges from that origi­
nal statement will just be a lie.
So now you're stuck elaborating about
things your date probably doesn't even
care about; you can see that he or she
is getting visibly bored. But why? Well,
it's because you summarized everything
already. They don't feel the need for you
to explain yourself. Lesson: Essays aren't
fun to read when you say everything in
the first paragraph. Essays aTso aren't fun
to read when you sound like an idiot.
How do you not sound like an idiot?
Well...
3) Do NOT make assumptions. Yes,
assumptions really do make an "ass "of
"u" and "me." Please, please, please,
avoid them in your papers and on dares.
Even if you have a great understanding
of a particular author or subculture, you
don't definitively know an author's in­
tent. If you read "The Garden Party,"
discover the incestuous undertones, and
write a paper about how this obviously
points to Katherine Mansfield's lust for
sexual relationships with her relatives,
you're probably going to fail. A lot.
The same thing happens when you
make definitive judgments about some­
one's personality based off of their cloth­
ing or major. You fail. Imagine you're on
a date and someone says, "Oh, you're a
math major. You're probably super up­
tight and nerdy, right?" Now that per­
son follows up with, "So, I see you like
wearing cowboy boots. You must be a
hipster."
If you find yourself making state­
men ts like these, either in your papers or
while on dares, you might want to stop
for the sake of humanity. But how can
one avoid this? I mean, shoot, you were
probably just trying to make conversa­
tion. Well, the best way to get to know
someone or write a good paper is to ...
4) Let things develop naturally. Do
I really need to explain this one? Don't Why refute the almighty
introduction? Because
it's just not a great place
to start. You don't want
trap yourself early on by
saying, "I'm a vegan and
I only like three things:
vintage, green tea, and
puppies. Let me tell you
h " w y.
force conversation or sentences. If you
do, the stuff you come up with will
sound like filler and read like filler. And
no one likes mindless blabber. But what
if you just have nothing to say about the
subject? Well. ..
5) Sometimes you've just got ro get
through it. This is what happens when
you're too far into a dare or paper to
safely back out. Sometimes it's not even
your fault: You tried to make conversa­
tion and to understand your date's inter­
ests, but sometimes you just really don't
care. You've listened to them talk about
0
I -......,__ w I ';}~1
~,.......__,_
I d f<_'
I'-.,._
I )~t w~ f-......,__,_ s I
I d ~Is Frisbee golf or their My Little Pony col­
lection for the last three hours without
finding anything of interest or relevance
to your life.
So what do you do? Push through.
You need to save face at your friend's
parry that night -you've already said
that you're bringing a sweet date and,
well, it's better to have something than
nothing at all. You might not be in love
with your date, or what you've written,
but it's better to hand something in than
look like a total loser. All right, I'm al­
most done. There is just one last thing to
remember before I let you go -
6) Papers and dares require REVI­
SION. Going our with someone only
once probably won't give your date an ac­
curate picture of who you are. You might
have slipped in a misogynistic or racist
joke somewhere and now you need a sec­
ond date to redeem yourself. The same is
true of writing papers -you might have
left out some punctuation, or an entire
paragraph might just suck really badly.
The revision process lets you rake those
embarrassing moments our and fix them.
But what if you don't have time? Well,
that happens on occasion and it's all
right; but unless you're going out with
some low-expectation floozy, you won't
get laid. And you won't get an A on your
paper either.
Collin Hamilton's HAMSLAM: Guys falling for gay girls
Dear Hamsfam,
I just seem to have a
thing for gay girls. At first
I though it was just bad
luck, but after asking our
the third gay chick in a row,
it's looking less and less like
a coincidence. Obviously,
this has had a negative im­
pact on my love life. How
can I untangle my crush­
meter from my gaydar?
Please help!
-Crosswired in Burlingame
Dear Reader,
I too have this problem. Gay women are my favor­
ite kind of women. Now to untangle your crush-meter
from your gaydar -unfortunately, my gaydar is acute,
so it is hard to give you a 100 percent answer, but I
will try. I sympathize with your attraction to gay women
-what's not to love? They are easy to relate to; you
can always check out girls together; they can become
your best friends and they can relate to you because
of a similar attraction. So you have solidarity, too. So
jeez, once you have established all those great connec­
tions ... then you realize they are much better than all
your guy friends (almost): less hair, softer skin, and
usually some serious intellect ... the list goes on.
And they have vaginas. Beautiful. So as my usual
thought pattern goes ... do they like me, do they love
me, do they want to be that friend (for the night)?
If this is how love goes ... check yes or no, to quote
George Strait. But then they turn you down and go off
arm in arm with another really hot girl who was next
on your list of girls to ask our.
This type of treatment is unhealthy, and I am just
speculating from my own experience that it can lead to
deep psychological scarring. At this point, what I usu­
ally do is drink a beer and cuddle with my male room­
mate. This is only a quick fix. Though my roommate's
arms do ease the pain, I usually need something stron-ger and long-lasting. Therefore, I then forget about
women entirely for a couple of hours, until I notice an­
other really fine gay girl. Ir's a vicious cycle. In order to
truly cure yourself you must switch to guys completely.
I am serious: Bro lovin' is the best kind out there. Have
you seen Brokeback?
In terms of less serious advice, however, I would rec­
ommend creeping. You know, do a little bit of stalking,
a little detective work. That does not mean you need to
be sleazy! There is a fine line that people don't under­
stand today, and that is that creeping can be done with
class. The first place you need to check is Facebook.
Does she have bathing suit shots? Is there a picture of
her kissing a guy in high school? What did she wear to
prom? Thar kind of stuff. Usually at Lewis & Clark if
a girl is gay, she is likely to be found on the top of the
library yelling it at the top of her lungs. For those who
have just found their passion for ladies, the Facebook
method can be a little harder to interpret. Another sure
tactic for finding out is a woman is gay is to ask her
friends. Or if you are bold, ask her. She probably won't
blame you for trying, because she knows she is hot. :..
:..
--
--6 --#4\\UIZ¥... thePioneerLog,March 12,2010
Melissa Osmond: A campus connection to Haiti
by Megan Quint
For Lewis & Clark's Associate Oireccor of Health and
Wellness Melissa Osmond, the Jan. 12 earthquake in Haiti
and its subsequent, tragic aftermath hits especially close co
home.
Osmond, who has a masters degree in Public Health with
a focus in International Health, spent over a year in Haiti
from 2002 co 2003, just before coming to LC, as a require­
ment for her degree program.
Part of her year spent in Haiti included a three-month in­
ter.nship at the Hop ital Albert Schweitzer Haiti. According to
the organization's website, HAS is an "integrated rural health
system, [providing] medical care and community health and
development programs for more than 300,000 impoverished
people in the Artibonite Valley of central Haiti."
"It's located in the bread-basket, or I should say rice-bas­
ket, of Haiti," said Osmond.
The organization itself has three components: a full ser­
vice hospital; a community health division, which operates
two health centers and five dispensaries; and a community
development element, which does microenterprise work and
manages water projects.
Osmond worked in the community health division, spe­
cifically managing a women's health program funded by the
Bill and Melinda Gares Foundation, where her duties includ­
ed encouraging pregnant women to get pre-and post-natal
check-ups, promoting modern, long-term methods of family
planning, and working to prevent the spread of HIV from
mother to child.
At LC Osmond's job description is nor too different. She
works as "the public health arm of the wellness services." This
means that she pinpoints and addresses the pressing health
issues we need to examine at a population level.
"This semester that included a lot of messaging and pre­
vention around HlNl," said Osmond. "I was surrounded by
H 1 N 1 all the time. Literally." or "WellNores," covering all sores of college health concerns.
The hospital did not sustain damage during the earth­
quake. However, starting within six to eight hours after­
wards, patients were rushed in from surrounding areas,
including nearby Port-au-Prince, the country's largest popu­
lation center.
Though the hospital has only the capacity for about 200
patients at a time, they saw over 800 in the several days fol­
lowing the quake.
"The staff had no relief for three or four days. They
worked nonstop," said Osmond, who regularly reads the or­
ganization's status blog. "There's been a sustained population shift co the outlying
areas," said Osmond. "These rural areas won't have resources
for education, but at least some displaced people will have
shelter. The organizations are already feeling the stress of a
larger population, and different organizations are starting co
work cogether to strategically plan for the years down the
line."
Osmond is hoping to return soon to Haiti to see what she
can do co help.
Learn more about the Hopital Albert Schweitzer Haiti at
www.hashaiti.org
On an individual level, Osmond coordinates programs
for advocates of sexual assault victims and helps students
with drug and alcohol problems make smarter and healthier
choices. Those who make frequent visits to the PRA are fa­
miliar with the threat of "visiting Melissa" upon their next
infraction, and we are all familiar with her monthly emails, ) PHOTO BY HANNAH PRINCE
Associate Director of Health and Wellness Melissa Osmond holds up a health card like the ones she
distributed while interning at the Hopital Albert Schweitzer in Haiti.
PHOTO BY SAM MARGEVICIUS
A group of students check out one of the Gender Studies Symposium
Postsecret boards, now on display around Templeton.
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A Play in French with Cute People
French Play: "Ubu Roi"
Fir Acres Theatre Mainstage, 7:30 Wed. and Thurs, free DUE DATE: for... Diversity & Leadership retreat applica­
tions, Passover Seder registration, Polyglot submissions, Co­
op mural ideas, and SAAB tutor applications. Check your
email. Spring Break Starts!!!
Let us know how it goes ... piolog@lclark.edu --~ 8 -.am,.- thePioneerLog,March 12,2010
Under the sea with ceramicist Andrew Merriam
by Mayme Berman
This week, Andrew Merriam's ('10) ceramic art installation, "The
Ends of the Earth," made its debut, lining the first-floor hall of
Miller. The artist sat down with the Pioneer Log to answer some
questions about the piece.
Pioneer Log: What was your inspiration far
this project?
Andrew Merriam: When I was in Ceram­
ics II we took a field trip to the Museum of
Contemporary Craft and I saw that this art­
ist had made a total landscape out of yarn
and beads and buttons. Basically, she totally
transformed this space and it was really trip­
py, there were vines, a big moon and a stork
in the middle of the room and from this I fell
in love with the idea of a total landscape as a
piece of art. I guess I combined this with the
fact that Lewis & Clark does terrible things
with its buildings -they're pretty boring. So
I thought trying to do that would be worth­
while even though I couldn't do it in the
same scope that she did.
PL: Why did you pick a seascape and clams?
AM: Well, I originally saw them as like
mouths, an object that is demanding some
kind of interaction with you, anthropomor­
phic in a way. But basically, I wanted an ob­
ject that was engaging.
PL: In terms of reactions from students, how
were you expecting people to react to the project
and how have they reacted thus for? AM: I expected more chaos; I haven't found
any broken clams as of yet and the adminis­
tration hasn't gotten upset with me for any
reason, which is kind of surprising. I mean,
I tried to keep it out of the way but there
are jagged pieces of wood on the ground and
some sand, so I thought that might bother
them. And reactions to it -I mean, I do
maintenance through it a few times a day.
The bigger piles have decreased in size.
PL: So you think people are taking them?
AM:I definitely think that some people are
taking them or at least picking them up to
look at them -it's fine, if people feel like they
need them. If I saw them I would probably
want to grab one. I don't want to necessar­
ily encourage it or discourage it; I just want
some left over to do a display somewhere
else.
PL: Do you have any future plans far this proj­
ect?
AM: It would be cool to find another venue
to place it in, switch up the arrangement,
maybe not have it in the hallway and instead
make a big pile -more of a direct confron­
tation than lining a hallway. I would like PHOTOS BY KATHRYN WLODARCZVK
The man and his clams: Andrew Merriam (above) spent all year working
on his installation, recruiting dozens of friends to help in the process. The
idea was conceived while snorkeling the waters of the Indian Ocean.
to make more of them but it was a shit-ton
of work and I'm not ready to get into that
again.
PL: Did the project take any unexpected turns?
AM: There were definitely some unexpected
turns; glazing and color are really hard for
me. I got some results that I wasn't expect­
ing. There was an element at the beginning
of the project that got ditched cause the
clams are so low on the ground: I wanted
to make those barnacle towers be 6 foot tall,
abstract towers. It would have been cool to
finish those, just too much work. As far as
beyond that, I really had fun building up, to­
wards the end when I was making the barna­
cle towers I started to go for curves. It would
be cool to do structures like that in a differ­
ent setting.
PL: What kind of reactions were you aiming
far? Did you want to bring a little chaos?
AM:I was just trying to bring some of the cra­
ziness that happens in the art building to the
rest of campus, and I guess what I've realized
is that this was kind of an attempt to break
the insular feel of the community. Some peo­
ple don't ever have a reason to go into cer-rain buildings on campus because they don't
have class there. I intentionally grouped the
clams closer to Fields inside Miller to create,
in a way, an extension of Fields. The fact that
people haven't noticed them as much made
me realize first hand how insular the com­
munity is: I mean, some people don't even go
into Miller, let alone Fields.
PL:Do you think this "insular feel" is a major
problem on our campus?
AM: It would be cool to have people bring
what they're doing to other parts of campus,
like, I don't know, an old school science fair
with baking soda volcanoes. There are things
that go on on campus and there is no reason
for them not to be shared with the rest of
campus.
PL: Tell me about the title, "The Ends of the
Earth."
AM: The thing I had in mind when thinking
of the title was a response to the whole ur­
gency to the climate situation right now. We
act like we are fighting for the earth's surviv­
al, bur really we're just fighting for our own.
In a way it's maybe suggesting that the ends
of the earth is not really the end. •
Humor and absurdism abound in French play
"Ubu" is a cycle of comedies written by
Alfred Jarry between 1896 and 1906. These
plays were a precursor to the Theatre of the
Absurd, in that they mocked theatrical tradi­
tion by adopting an absurd tone where vio­
lence and humor are constantly mingled.
This year's French play is based on the
texts of Ubu Roi (1896) and Ubu sur la butte
(1906), an adaptation of the latter for the
Guignol Theatre.
The play begins with a satirical interpreta­
tion of Shakespeare's MacBeth.
Pere Ubu (Warren Kluber ['12] and Terry
Fletcher ['12]) is an obese fierce and yet cow­
ardly count of the Polish king Stanislas.
His life will change from the moment his
wife-the cruel Mere Ubu-convinces him to
take over the throne.
From this point his violence and his stu­
pidity will find new ways to express them­
selves through mass slaughter, destructive
policies, and awkward sword fights.
Mere Ubu (Alina.Larson ['12] and Melis­
sa Sweet ['12]) is an ambitious woman who
tries to convince her husband, the cowardly
and cruel Pere Ubu, to kill the Polish king in
order to take over the throne; a ploy in which Pere Ubu is successful.
Unfortunately, this leads to a
disaster because Ubu ends up kill­
ing all of the nobles and the mag­
istrates.
To make matters worse, the
son of the murdered king, Bou­
grelas, promises his mother to
take revenge in honor of the fam­
ily's legacy, and the Russian Czar
declares war to Poland.
Where will this mayhem lead
the characters? Be ready for pow­
erful theatre where nihilism and
laughter are inseparable from
each other.
-Lilian Lahieyte
When: March 17 and 18 at
7:30 p.m.
Where: Fir Acres Theatre
Mainstage
How: Free! PHOTO COURTESY OF LILIAN LAHIEYTE
A segment of the Ubu cast poses at the 45th annual International Fair.
From left: Magda Rucinski ('11), Kendra Todd ('10), Whitney Gall ('10), Melissa Sweet
('12) and Alina Larson ('12). ------~•-
thePioneerLog,March 12,2010 __ m,.... 9
Chrome Wings' debut sets sound against sound
by Chris Keady
Thursday night's bill at Holocene featured a West coast roll
call, with U.S.F. (Universal Studios Florida) of Seattle-though
it seemed they were unable to perfon:n-and Tracey Trance of
Olympia. The unifying force in the lineup, however, was the debut,
self-titled LP release of Portland's Chrome Wings. Both the coordi­
nation and the equipment of the other performers were frequently
dubious, but it was with aplomb that Jon Jurow of Chrome Wings
and his cohort Shane McDonell smoothed their slabby, oscillating
blanket of electronic sound out in front of us. The Pioneer Log and
Jurow exchanged a few (appropriately) electronic words, discuss­
ing song structures, pollination, and future plans.
PL: Some of your songs/pieces are founded on
discernible beats, while others feel a bit more
improvisatory or aleatoric. Do you • tend to
think of your work as a noise ''artist" or as a
pop musician? Are you interested in an audi­
ence's judgment of noise v. pop?
JJ: Definitely interested in both sides of the
spectrum. Ir's been interesting to see more of
a cross pollination of genres within the last
few years, in great part due to the accessi­
bili ry of music through biogs and file shar­
ing; people seem to have more of an open
ear to things right now. I don't really think
of myself as a noise artist, though I play a lot
of "noise" bills and have a great appreciation
for people who work with sound and push it
in exciting directions. I relate to pop music
in the sense of a piece based around rhythm
and melody as a foundation, or a hook to
build off of; and, no matter how obscured
it gees in processing, hopefully having this
thing, feeling, or memory that comes back
to you.
PL: What tends to be your balance of samples
;: synthetic 0
sou;d? What do yo; Jlike 'a6o;,t
each of those? JJ: I use sampling as a way to arrange ideas
and as a way to form and perform pieces live.
I don't sample records or use it in chat sense;
it's more like a keyboard where different
notes are different samples. I generally like
starring with something more organic and
then adding sounds that are more mechani­
cal or other-worldly for texture or to bal­
ance things our. I like the id.ea of sounds that
aren't easily identifiable, as to their origins;
it keeps things more open for the listener.
There are really no rules as to how rhiRgs go
down [in performance]. I'd like to move to­
wards something more physical or visual, at
least for the live show-keep changing.
PL: What would a score ·to one of your songs/
pieces look like?
JJ: Since neither of us can really wri~e music
it's usually just a visual idea or feeling we're
shooting for.
PL: Does performance space play much of a·
part in your music? Do you have a favorite or
"dream" space in Portland? Would you rather
people listen to your recordings or h;ar you per­
form live? JJ: Very much so; the space puts a lot of ele­
ments into play as far as the atmosphere we
can qeare in the room. Also, speaker place­
ment, wattage, and routing are taken into
consideration. As I get more comfortable
with performing live I feel like you can make
it more of a celebration-something beyond
just a show. Recordings provide something
completely different, bur equally as impor­
tant.
PL: What are your plans now that you've re­
leased this album?
JJ: Shane and I have been hard at work on
our follow up release for Stunned, which will
be out April 20th. Summer tour with Italic
Indian through the West and Midwest and a
third still secret release later in 2010.
PHOTO OF THE WEEK
This photo was taken over Thanksgiving break in Seattle. I was up visit­
ing my best friend's sister and her husband for the weekend. Upon tell­
ing ttiem that my girlfriend and I were going to the Space Needle, they
promptly informed us of a much better deal. Instead of paying $20 each
to go up the 605 foot Needle, we could go to Columbia Center, 937
feet, for a few bucks. When we got there, no one was taking money, so
it ended up being free. The only downside was that the Starbucks on
the 40th floor was not open. -Garik Asplund ('10)
If you want to see your photo featured in the Pio Log, send it and an ac­
companying description to piolog@lclark.edu.
__ , Who: Chrome Wings with
ASSS, Moonlandings and
Poltern, 21 +
Where: Rontom's (600 E
Burnside). Free
When: Sunday, March 28
Chrome Wings' Jon Jurow and
Shane McDonell at Holocene,
backed by electronic ephemera.
PHOTO BY CHRIS KEADY
~ ♦
ii.
--,I., • ♦
10 . --tiff,JitillllP thePioneerLog,March 12,2010
Opening weekend in conf ere nee ends 0-4 for softball
by Lindsey Bosse
This weekend marked the beginning of
conference play for softball. Saturday the
women started against Pacific with a double­
header at home. The Pioneers lost the first
game 10-2, and the second 16-7. Sunday
the women traveled to Linfield, losing again
17-2 and 5-2. Linfield is currently first in the
NWC and the hardest team that the women
have played this season.
"Our second game against Linfield we gave
them a hard battle," Jessica Mullins ('10) said.
"They really had to work for that second win."
Although the team has yet to win a game
this season, they are still working towards
a win. Weekly, the team makes manageable
goals to reach during each game. This past
weekend they worked on the goal of having 6
base runners, which was achieved.
"We know we're really close," Mullins said. The second game gave
the Boxers six runs within
the first three innings. By
the fifth inning the Pios
had made two runs, mak­
ing the score 9-2.
PHOTO BY SAM MARGEVICIOUS "Pitchers are throwing six days a week. Paige
Mcfeeley (' 11) rocks. Caroline De Vincenzi
('12) has also really stepped up last weekend.
Everyone is starting to have spectacular plays." Early in the inning,
Boxers had scored three
more runs th,anks to a
loaded-base homerun. In
the bottom of the fifth the
Pios found their grip and
picked out the weaknesses
in Boxer defense. Within
three hits,-LC managed five
runs. DeVincenzi walked
her the first point in af­
ter an error by the Boxer
catcher while Satter was
batting. Relyea and Mul­
lins helped for two more
points, and then Moon
sent the ball straight down
the right field line, bring­
ing two more Pios home. Paige Mcfeeley ('11) gave up a homer to Willamette's Jordan Mittelsdorf.
Game one of Lewis & Clark's NWC open­
er was lost 10-2; both of the Pios' homeruns
were conquered in the fourth inning. Caitlin
Relyea ('12) was to thank with smack to right
field, which brought Michaela Satter ('11) and
Jaimie Moon ('11) into home for the Pios'
only points of the game. At the time, Pacific
already held an 8-point lead, which was then
sealed for 10 points in the fifth inning. The
bottom half of the inning then gave no points
-to LC and the Boxers won the first game of the
conference season. The sixth inning proved very successful for
the Boxers, after a slew of mistakes in the fifth
inning, and they conquered the game 16-7.
Sunday was against Linfield qn their home
field. Currently, Linfield ranks 16th in the na­
tion.
Their offense was relentless in the first
game. The first four innings showed all 17
points by the Wildcats. In the fifth inning the
Pios succeeded in two runs, with some thanks
to Linfield blunders. DeVincenzi was the bat­
ter for both runs by Megan Andre ('13) and
Baseball holds· 2-4 in NWC
by Michael G. Richman
Another weekend series and yet anoth­
er tough loss to swallow. Pioneer baseball
dropped two of three to Willamette over
the weekend, and fell to 3-7 overall and 2-4
in the Northwest Conference.
After winning the first game of the
three-game set, the Pios lost the final two
on the road and failed to win a series for the
third consecutive weekend.
In the rubber match on Sunday, Lewis
& Clark jumped out to a 1-0 lead when
Sarni Morgan ('10) homered in the top of
first.
The game was tied at five after six in­
nings, but the Pios couldn't hold off the
Willamette bats in the late innings. LC
came up empty in the top of the seventh
and the Bearcats countered with two runs
in the bottom half of the inning to take a
7-5 lead heading into the eighth.
LC got one back in the eighth to trim
the lead to 7-6. Tucker Laurence ('11) sin­
gled to right center to lead off the inning.
Laurence advanced to third on a ground
out and a wild pitch and then scored on a
single by Jim Bray ('10).
Unfortunately, the Willamette bats
came alive in the bottom half of the eighth.
The Bearcats scored four times in the in­
ning, three of which came with two outs. LC could only muster one run in the
ninth. Morgan had an RBI single to right,
but was left stranded at second as the game
ended, along with the hopes for a NWC se-.
ries win for the Pios.
On Saturday, the Pios split the dou­
ble header against Willamette. LC scored
two runs in the seventh and another four
in the eighth of the second game, but the
late surge wasn't enough. The Pios lost 10-
8, failing to capitalize on what would have
amounted to a three-game winning streak
against NWC opponents. In the first game
of the series against Willamette, LC got a
gem of a pitching performance from Alex
St. Pierre (' 11). St. Pierre pitched seven sol­
id innings, giving up three runs on seven
hits. He struck out eight and walked three
in the victory. Pierre blanked Willamette
for the first six innings, but gave up three in
the seventh before exiting the game.
LC had a six run lead heading into the
seventh and held off a fierce Willamette
comeback to win its second straight game
6-4.
Michael Ball ('12), who homered in
game's first at-bat, came in the eighth to
close the game in a five-out save.
-It was the Pios' first win of the season
that didn't go to extra innings, and easily
the best pitching performance from a start­
er that the team has seen all season.
ff Moon.
Pio defense picked up in the second game,
and held the Wildcats at less than half of the
runs ihey had managed in the previous game.
After the second inning, Linfield had only
made one run, and in the fourth inning the
Pios had tied them 1-1; Jessica Mullins had
succeeded in a trying run. The Wildcats were
quick to respond in their half of the inning,
gaining a double. The Pios took their second
point in the sixth inning, and then Linfield an­
swered again with two more runs to win 5-2.
Crew spring season opens
PHOTO COURTESY PIONEER CREW BLOG
Women's team during practice on an evening on the Willamette.
by Lindsey Bosse
Imagine: Early in the morning, when most
of campus is still asleep and not even Temple­
ton is bustling, the crew team is meeting to
train. The team spent a majority of its training
time on land earlier in the season, and now is
incorporating more and more water practices.
Five days a week, alternating between morn­
ing and afternoon, the crew team is buffing up
for its spring season, which starts this weekc;nd
in Salem.
A typical water practice takes a tad more
preparation than most other sports. The team
meets and drives down to its boathouse in
Sellwood. Before getting in the water, there
are logistics to figure out.
"The boats are heavy, and we have to car­
ry them, and we have to match people who
are carrying them by height," said Samira
Tristani-Firouzi ('13).
Once in the water, there are a series of drills
for the rowers. Sometimes they work on row­
ing in time with each other, other times they .
strive for distance per stroke, and other ~ills
include acceleration and speed. For a couple
of hours, the team tears up its part of the Wil­
lamette, working on synchronization and
muscle tone. -The men's team is coming back from a
good fall. Its end of season saw a few places in
several tournaments, but no gold.
"We weren't able to capitalize on our tal­
ent," said coach Sam Taylor.
Going into this spring season, the men
have a strong team of 11 competitors. For
the women, the team has a majority of nov­
ice rowers. There are 16 girls overall, 14 of
whom are novices. The women's team is gain­
ing strength in their novice athletes, and the
varsity rowers are fast.
"We're crossing our fingers; we did well in
the fall," said Firouzi.
The men are looking at a team tide and
conference already. They are looking to ex­
pand on the strength they exuded last season
and actually take the awards they meant to
win last fall. The women too are showing high
ambition in their novice players.
"We'll see how far we can go," said Taylor.
"They have high standards."
fpcoming,.Nf;
Women's.,
vs. Willa.mette in s!lem, 'OR
@8 · ... 'L. ;· a,mc I I ------•
thePioneerLog,March 12,2010 -tj•r•)if-- 11
Land of the lost: PNW ballers are the new NBA gems
by Charles Tuggle
Nor traditionally thought of as a hoops
hotbed, the Pacific Northwest, and more
specifically the greater Seattle area, has re­
cently become the launching point for many
successful NBA careers. Often overlooked by
basketball Meccas such as New York, South­
ern California, and the Baltimore/District of
Columbia area, Seattle has become one of
the surefire regions to provide skilled, NBA­
ready ball players. When you get down to it
these players fall into three distinct groups
with the overall pool of Pacific Northwest­
erners in the NBA growing every year. High). Terry is averaging 17 points per game
for what is looking to be one of the league's
deepest and deadliest ream, while Crawford
is averaging 17 .3 ppg for the playoff-bound
Hawks and is looking like the from-runner
for the Sixth Man of the Year award. The
always enigmatic Krypto-Nate is averaging
12.3 ppg for the Celtics, while recent Rocket
savior Brooks is averaging 19.9 ppg and 5.2
assists. With such consistent production, it
is safe to say that the greater Seattle area has
undoubtedly become a potent talent-pool
for the NBA. alone two more PNW ballers made the
league. Terrence Willaims (Rainer Beach)
was drafted by the New Jersey Nets and
former University of Washington big man
Jon Brockman (Snohomish), who currently
plays for the Sacramento Kings. cent increasing trend of players from the Se­
attle area working their way into the NBA.
With the advent of MU (Amateur Athletic
Union) teams travelling all over the nation,
the coverage and availability of scouting has
increased as well. The employment of the
Internet in basketball scouting has also in­
creased in the past decade, causing the un­
farmed talent of the Pacific Northwest to no
longer go unnoticed. Whatever combination
of reasons it may be, the basketball world
has started to take a keen eye to the Pacific
Northwest, and so should you. So, what is it about the Pacific North­
west that has provided a stepping stone for
solid° NBA production? I have no real an­
swer to this apparent athletic anomaly. How­
ever, I can certainly speculate. Perhaps, the
Pacific Northwest area has simply been ig­
nored. There has been a noticeable and re-
The Truth
The first tier of these Pacific Northwest
players is occupied solely by the much be­
loved Brandon Roy. A graduate of Garfield
High in Seattle, Roy went on to star for four
years at the University of Washington before
effortlessly becoming the best player drafted
in 2006. Roy won the Rookie of the Year
award in 2007 and has become a perennial
All-Star, having been selected every subse­
quent year. B. Roy is the truth and the mea­
suring stick by which the rest of the PNW
ballers are measured.
The Almost Theres The Wanna Bes
PHOTO FROM PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS The second tier belongs to consistent
NBA players who have played influential
roles on playoff teams, providing above­
average on-court production. Highlighted
by Dallas Mavericks super sixth man, Jason
Terry (Franklin High), the second tier also
includes Atlanta Hawks guard Jamal Craw­
ford (Rainier Beach), newly acquired Boston
Celtic Nate Robinson (Rainier Beach), and
Houston Rocket Aaron Brooks (Franklin There are countless oth­
er Pacific Northwest-bred
basketball players · that are
maintaining quite a com­
fortable career in the NBA.
These include Portland
Trailblazer Martell Webster
(Seattle Prep), Detroit Pis­
ton Rodney Stuckey (Kent­
wood High), Atlanta Hawk
Marvin Williams (Bremer­
ton High), Minnesota Tim­
berwolves and former Lewis
& Clark College neighbor
Kevin Love (Lake Oswe­
go High), and Sacramento
King Spencer Hawes (Seattle
Prep). As well as Milwaukee
Bucks' point gurad Luke Rid­
inour (Blaine) and Los Ange­
les Laker reserve and former
no. three overall pick Adam
Morrison (Mead).
In last year's NBA draft Brandon Roy (Garfield HS) dunks as Spencer Hawes (Seattle Prep, back left) looks on.
Roy & Hawes are just two of many players from the Seattle area to make the NBA.
PHOTO FRS?M"~CLARKEDU
Artemis t~am'i:captains Ari1ga Kristense'n ('10) andSa~ah Read-Br9wn('11).
by Michael G. Richman
Every Lewis & Clark student loves to stick it to Reed
yillege. 1his::,V~:.~endArtemi1:'. _the LC wo~:tsultimate
j/$1i'Frisbee team:g<?i: to live tha,t/dream when tli~y tppped
1'Reed in the c~ampionship ~e of rhe GroveqUltimate
'Madness touri";.ament in Forest Grove.
"It's really fun to play [Reed]," team captain Sarah
Read-Brown:{1111) said, "buc ic:S-1really fun to!Ji.c:!itt them
'The tournament was hoste'eNby'Pacific Univet.si~ and
featured teamsfrom.the Oregon and Northern California
r~gion. In acldition to LC and l~eed, Chico Stater Willa­
mette, Puget S~rnd, Universit;;':of Portland an<tevo 0th­
Portland ~E:~'cJub teams co91~~ted in th~ tqp;~ament.
Artemis w~nt undefeated Satiirday, winnipg all three
of their games an.cl earning the no. 1 seed in the t:hampi­
onship bracket for Sunday's games.
The women crushed the University of Portland in the
fast game of the afternoon, l?-3. Their hot st5eak con­
tinued into the second round;~ they held off Chico State for a 15-U victory and earned a spot in the champion-
ship game against Reed. ,
.''.ff we had a P:~t fr~end in Fris~~, it would b~,ed,"
,Re':i;~~Brown sai~;!'.;·~e~ause we play[them the m·ost;.~~en,
and they go to evety single one of the tournaments ~e do
and we often scrimmage against them"
$::ad-Brown said that in the summer Reed and LC ul­
players occa$iPn1¥lyjoin fqi;~es and play, t
ad. 1il1i,lliltlllN ,. rn ' , ,.,
famiHaJrt):y'.doesn't m
stkk,~o our cross-t,?Wll rivals out onte 6dd.
".It was sweet," Read.cBrown sajcl'al;>out the 15-5 win
~ Reed to clilsxbnthe tournan:re~,(championshiP for
is. "It's al'Y~~~;'tup [to beati~fi;'-J/'
'After the weekerid in which they°went 6-0 and were
cwwned tournament champs, Artemis is ranked eighth
nationally for Division Ill ultimate reams and 51st over­
all om of all collegiate women's ultimate teams.
71,.rtemis plays in'the Pacific Lutheran Barbeque Taurna­
ment this weekend in Puyallup, WA. Thinking about
graduate studies?
Consider a Master of Arts in Interdisciplinary
Studies at Marylhurst University.
Examine a range of subjects while
focusing on a concentrated area of study.
Experience intellectual growth and
enhanced professional competence.
Engage with a supportive community of
professors in a highly interactive learning
environment.
Concentrations include:
Gerontology, Organizational Communication,
Spiritual Traditions & Ethics and Liberal Arts
Join us for an information session:
Saturday, April 1 7 at 10 a.m.
Flavia Hall Salon
Register for this free event at
studentinfo@marylhurst.edu or 503.699.6268. • -MARYLHURST
UNIVERSITY
Academic excellence since 1893 www.marylhurst.edu
17600 Pacific Highway (Hwy. 43), One mile south of Loke Oswego
•.r -,_ -·---· --.. -----'-·-------.._ ---- ~------------------------------------------------------ --------------~
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12 the Pioneer Log, March 12, 2010
ltc . ..:js:r Y~t ... , 1{~,t· "'A,1{,1·r~11e•;;~1, :.tfOUwi~r~a:ugr1< • 1,.-:1J +!l!!tj ·ws The Toast: Party Poopers
lv!e: Tryi~~' to cele~:~te my ~irthd.ay: ~~t AlLt~~ people. who see!~e aroul1
;~~;fl: Being\[a'. mode~t1tpOUS~'.i c~l?M~,,crhxand:S;tressed otit all the;;ume.
tfr'· • - ·""" h ' ··""" "' u ., h . Id· b diiT 1s .1t cou ' e IIerent.
You: Cute a capp~Jla s}ng
W~ting to"be 'y:ou'
>:W:~::o< ':'i: .i hqiilis, your::,v'.'oice m~es
wanna do something naughty.
Ple.ase e-maiJ .. ,your'~You•Cau~ht M1.13ye" to Pe'·
>@f
Mad Lib
brought to you by Ke$ha
Wake up in the morning (-ing verb) like P Diddy
Put my (article of clothing) on, I'm out the door -I'm gonna hit
this city
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a (garden tool)
Cause when I leave for (foreign country) , I ain't coming back
I'm talking -(condiment) on our toes, toes
Trying on (Thundercat character) clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our (non-geographical locations)
Drop-toping, playing our (Parker Brothers board game)
Pulling up to the parties
Trying to get a little bit (adjective assossciated with a hobo)
Ain't got (a virtue) in the world, bur got plenty of beer
Ain't got no {Italian dish) in my pocket, but I'm already here
Now, the (Greek mythological creatures) are lining up cause they
hear' we got (form of treasure)
But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Caging musician)
I'm talking about (Oscar winner) getting crunk, aunk
Boys tryin' to (verb associated with Chatroulette) my junk, junk
Gonna (euphemism) him ifhe getting too drunk, drunk Yo.u:m~eW
Drink of the
Day
The Tolerable
1 pint of cheap beer
sizeable lime
know a few people that
'ke PBR the way it is.
I am not one of those
pfople. Like New Eng­
l;hders and their maple
\,
sy\,pp, I like microbrew;
B'
j
.,-,
0
som
?i'''r'%W$:f%~~:<i'
ously, more tolerable. by Nick Papageorgio
Greetings,
Toastfans! This
week's toast
goes out to
that particular
individual .(or rfj . .
at times, small PHOTO BY EMILY BLOCK
group of indi-
viduals), who feels it necessary to
ensure that their voice is heard,
even when no one else seems to
care. These people will stop at
nothing to make sure that everyone
understands their position on an
issue, regardless of how insignifi­
cant or unimportant the .general
public seems to feel about it.
These are the people for whom
the phrase "it's all in good fun,"
is a sign of others' uncouth igno­
rance and/or intolerance. For these
people, it becomes their responsi­
bility to educate (read: reprimand)
chose who uttered the phrase and
all chose around chem, regardless of
the social scenario in which the lo­
cution was expressed.
Yes, dear readers, I am referring
to those intrepid individuals who
feel it is their responsibility -nay,
duty -to stop a good time in its
tracks in order to ensure chat what
is being said or done conforms
with their ideal picture of how the
world should work. If you haven't
figured it out already, I'm talking
about everyone's favorite politically
correct party pooper.
If you're not sure what a politi­
cally correct party pooper is, let me
give you a scenario:
You and your friends decide to
throw a party. You want to ensure
a large attendance at your event to
WANXED: :President of;,the Coll~ge prove to yourself how popular are.
How do you get a large group of
people to attend? You can provide
snacks, beer, and free recreational
drugs, but what party doesn't have
these? You need something differ­
ent, something exciting. So you
have a theme party!
You chose to have a professors
and schoolgirls party. Just the right
mixture of possible sluttiness and
cleverness of outfits to attract a
large swath of the student body.
With an excellent theme, the
party starts without a hitch. There
are a lot of people there, and you
look really cool. You are about to
start the highlight of the evening,
which will cement you as party ex­
traordinaire: schoolgirl body shoes!
Bue then, a voice perks up in the
back. At first, its hardly discernable
between the cheers. But then the ·
voice becomes louder and louder,
until its source makes its way to
the front of the room. In a shrill,
demeaning tone, the individual
claims the aforementioned activ­
ity is insensitive and inappropriate,
and condemns those that are both
participating in and watching the
event, spoiling what was once a fun
and carefree party.
The politically correct party
pooper fails to acknowledge that,
while their point may be valid,
they ruined what was most peoples'
good time, and because of that,
their message falls on deaf ears.
This toast goes out to you, po­
litically correct party pooper, be­
cause while your heart may be in
the right place, your methods of
getting your point across just piss
people off.
06 you have a [oi offmonJ9? Db: you !]like srfstenfng tO complaints frdm people with an
iq;flated sense of enti.!lemer,t? 0:o you favor poUtical correctness over hgnest debate?
Lewis & Clark College is STILL looking for its next President!!!
Requirements:
-High school diploma or equivalent
-A stern look and sense· of authority
-Demonstrated aversion to poor investement pr.actices
-Expectation to stick around for the long haul
Excel skills a plus
Email r jordan 263canesultralights@gmail.com for information.
Thats r jordan 263cane.sultralight@googlemaiI.com.
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The Backdoor apologizes for not upholding its Lent resolution. Inside the Editon will return later. Oh, and that ad's fake. ~ !
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