Lewis & Clark College

The Pioneer Log: Lewis & Clark College’s Student-Run Newspaper

Volume 103, No. 5

Lewis & Clark College Student Newspaper

Pioneer Log Staff

2024-11-15

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Text; Newspaper

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Lewis & Clark College: Pioneer Log / Mossy Log

Vol. 103 No. 5 FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024 www.mossylog.org
Today’s Grievance
BREAKING NEWS: Post-election
clarity hits Palatine Hill from the
backOPINION
Politics and relationships
The extent to which you let politics affect
relationships is a deeply personal decision.
PAGE 5
FEATURES
George from the Bon
Newest member of the Bon staff shares his
story and inspires hope in students who
frequent the dining hall.
PAGE 6
ARTS
FATHOM art exhibit
Roboto Octopodo, local artists collective
captures PNW spirit with immersive,
absurd, undersea experience.
PAGE 9
SPORTS
Womens lacrosse
Newly-established team looks forward to
upcoming NCAA season
PAGE 11
Campus processes results during, after election
Palatine Hill Student Voters Club, Center for Social Change and Community Involvement host event
By OLIVIA MILLER &
JESSIE SHAW
ON THE EVENING of election
day on Nov. 5, the Center for
Social Change and Community
Involvement (CSCCI), the Palatine
Hill Student Voters Club (PHSVC) and
Professor Joe Gantt hosted an election
night watch party in Stamm Dining
Hall. The Hu Media Lounge was also
available for students as a quiet space to
await the election results.
Erin Montgomery ’27, active member
of PHSVC, participated in organizing and
facilitating the event.
“We did a raffle competition where
students could color in predictions. We
had coloring sheets and craft supplies in
the Hu Media Lounge, and we encouraged
students to discuss everything as it
was happening. We also projected the
New York Times’ electoral college map
to help keep track of the results along
with the livestream of the news, and we
encouraged students to follow their home
states’ races as well,” Montgomery said.
Along with the many activities
offered, free pizza and fresh popcorn
drew in a sizable crowd of students
following along as the election results
steadily poured in.
Rosie Gurnee ’25, the founder and
chair of PHSVC, explained that the
purpose of hosting this event was to
facilitate student dialogue and make
students feel less alone in their emotions.
“We wanted to have an election results
watch party for students as a way to kind
of wrap up our voter advocacy efforts as a
celebration of all the work that’s gone into
it so far, and also a place for students to
come and have an open discussion,” Gurnee
said. “I think watching the results come in
together, in many ways, is more productive
than watching them alone. I know for myself
and my friends, we want to watch them together because where the real processing
happens is not so much with the watching,
but with … the discussion afterward.”
Gurnee also discussed her club’s
collaboration with the CSCCI to
promote voter education and outreach.
“Palatine Hill Student Voters Club
has been working pretty closely with the
Center for Social Change for at least the last
year because they have actually allocated
a student employee position specifically
for voter education, voter outreach,”
Gurnee said. “And so that’s been super,
super helpful for our club, and we’ve been
working really closely with them. If you’ve
seen the voter registration flow chart, or if
you’ve seen us tabling together, those are
fruits of our efforts together.”
The last election night party was
hosted in the Bon during the midterm
elections in 2022. Gurnee explained that
changes to the event were made due to
criticism of its location.
“We did one in 2022 where we just
screened the election results in the Bon,
but we got mixed reviews on that, because
some people were excited about it and
they did want to talk about it and watch
it, and other people were really averse to
watching it,” Gurnee said. “We felt like the
Bon was not a good place to do it, because
people need to eat at the Bon anyways, and
in some ways, it forces it on people.”
This year’s watch party was crowded
with students anxiously awaiting the
election results while enjoying snacks,
making predictions on election simulation
maps and talking to others about their
feelings. Nearly all students at the watch
party dreaded another Trump presidency
and hoped for a Harris victory, despite
some dissatisfaction with the latter, given a
politically progressive student body.
Evan Jackson ’27 explained that he
voted for Harris primarily to vote against
Trump, not because he was necessarily in
support of her political positions.“I’m not really voting for Kamala on
the merits of anything she’s doing, in
particular, as much as I’m voting against
Trump,” Jackson said.
Nico Stevenson ’27 expressed a similar
sentiment about why they voted for
Harris, yet also expressed dissatisfaction
with her character and platform.
“I don’t really like her very much
as a person, and I very much disagree
with her international affairs policies,”
Stevenson said. “I think that there’s a
lot of hidden background given her past
with like the police and as a prosecutor,
which makes me uncomfortable
personally, but she’s also the lesser
of two evils … I think that under an
America where Trump wins, it’s going
to be a lot more disastrous to organize
as a people than it would be under an
America where Kamala wins.”
Aria Vilaflor ’27 was especially
concerned about another Trump
presidency, stating her view that
Trump was a fascist and a threat to
transgender rights.
“His main scapegoat is transgender
people, and as a transgender woman of
color, I don’t want all my rights taken
away,” Vilaflor said. “I don’t want fascism
to come to place in this country, especially
as the scapegoat of said fascism.”
Jackson, a classics major, was also one
of many students who attended the event.
In the early evening hours before either
candidate had a clear lead, Jackson felt
unsure of what they believed the outcome
would look like.
“I got some positive predictions this
morning, so I don’t know. But also, the
maps are looking a little concerning,”
Jackson said.
Jackson, a resident of California, had
mailed in their ballot a few weeks prior
to election night. They voted for Vice
President Kamala Harris and Minnesota
Gov. Tim Walz. “I’d rather have Kamala Harris and
still have a democracy than Donald Trump
and no longer have a democracy. We can
make things better if Kamala Harris wins.
We have a long, much longer way to go if
Trump wins,” Jackson said.
Montgomery expressed satisfaction
with the student engagement and
participation at the event.
“We saw a really great turnout from
students throughout the night which
was awesome to see,” Montgomery said. “I think there was a lot of excitement as
the results started to come in, but that
shifted to anxiety later on in the night.
As some of the swing states, particularly
Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania,
began to have their results come in, I
think a lot of students were following
that pretty closely with some anxiety
because of how pivotal those states were
to either candidate.”
“COLLEGE” continued on page 3.
Data Science department expands
course offerings for upcoming termUndergraduate campus
to host legal fraternity
By GRACE BISCHOFF
THIS SPRING , the Data Science
department will offer a new
course titled DSCI: Data for
Good in partnership with the nonprofit
Growing Goods, as well as a new
version of the DSCI 245 practicum
in partnership with the Multnomah
County Health Department. In these
courses, students will gain practical
experience analyzing data sets from
community organizations.
Data for Good is a 4-credit course
taught by Professor Devin Fitzpatrick.
Students will assist Growing Gardens, a
local non-profit focusing on community
gardening in public schools and
correctional facilities in the Portland
metro area.
“We will first engage in actual data
analysis tasks for them — preparing
reports at a professional level, making
visualizations and reviewing the skills
we need as we go on,” Fitzpatrick said.
Throughout the class, students
will review and reflect on the data, and design surveys to collect more
data in the future. Fitzpatrick hopes
that students will get the opportunity
to volunteer at an on-site Growing
Gardens spring planting event.
When designing the course,
Fitzpatrick reached out to several
nonprofits in the area to gauge interest
and eventually reached a partnership
with Growing Gardens.
“There’s quite a bit of enthusiasm.
I ended up picking the organization
that has a data team themselves that
needed help, and I am confident that
we will have a lot of clear direction on
what will really help them,” Fitzpatrick
said. “The students will get very realistic
training and experience that will create
really professional level analysis for
an organization that will really benefit
from it.”
The data science practicum,
DSCI 245, is a returning 2-credit
course. The practicum was previously
centered upon a relationship with
the US Fish and Wildlife Service.
Students worked with students at the University of Arizona to analyze data
sets of species under consideration of
an endangered listing.
The course now uses data from the
Multnomah County Health Department
related to cancer diagnoses, prognosis
and survival. They will then link
these variables to various social
demographics. Students will also talk to
stakeholders, including local nonprofits,
interested in the data to identify their
key questions.
Head of Digital Services at Watzek
Library Jeremy McWilliams is the
instructor of this course. Professors
Greta Binford and Sarah Warren were
also instrumental in organizing the
course and partnership.
“This (course) came from just a bunch
of efforts to try to bridge Lewis & Clark
with the community,” Binford said.
Fitzpatrick expressed hope that Data
for Good will continue to be offered in
the future and potentially partner with
different local non-profits.
“PROFESSORS” continued on page 3. By ELLA R. DUNN
THIS SEMESTER, students from
the Pre-Law Club are attempting
to charter a chapter of Phi Alpha
Delta (PAD) to the undergraduate
campus. PAD is the country’s largest
legal fraternity, supporting law and
pre-law students and connecting them
to a wide range of people within the
legal profession.
A social fraternity is likely what
comes to mind when mentioning the
term fraternity or sorority. These groups
partake in the more traditional “frat”
activities with the goal of social outreach,
philanthropy and making connections.
This is also the type of Greek life many
associate with more negative aspects,
such as hazing and partying.
Professional fraternities are a different
category. Their main goal is to connect
a wide network of students and alumni
interested or involved in a certain career
path. These fraternities are only similar in
the aspect that both are on-campus chapters
that all connect to a larger organization. Mette Peluce ’27 is spearheading the
effort to bring PAD to the undergraduate
campus. She clarified the role of PAD as
a professional society.
“PAD would not be introducing Greek
life to LC,” Peluce said. “We want to
strengthen the pre-law program, that’s our
goal, through networking events, mixers,
panels with alumni and strengthening our
connection with the law school — who also
have a PAD chapter.”
PAD would operate like any other
student organization or club here on
campus — student-run with a staff
advisor for support.
“Our first step was getting approval
from the school — through Student
Engagement because we’re a student
organization,” Peluce said. “We’re
in the chartering process right now,
which consists of submitting different
documents and approvals to the executive
office of PAD. Right now, we’re recruiting
because there’s a minimum number of
members (necessary for approval).”
“PHI” continued on page 3.
ALEX NASH/THE MOSSY LOG
EMMA FORD/THE MOSSY LOG
By FIONA EILERS
THIS MONDAY, N ov. 11, students
were sent the new issue of The
Weekly Bark newsletter. In the
fifth of six subsections, a short listing
advertised a “Survey for late night Watzek
Library users,” soliciting feedback for a
change to the library’s operating hours.
The listing included a link to the Libraries
page on the Lewis & Clark website with
more information.
“Watzek Library has a tentative plan
to end library hours from midnight
to 8 a.m. Sunday through Thursday
beginning fall 2025,” the site read. “The
library will maintain regular weekday
hours, evening hours, and weekend
access, with extended hours during
reading days and finals week.”
The reason for this potential change
can also be found on the site.
“We are considering this change
because of library staffing needs, light
usage of the library during this time, and the availability of alternative study
spaces in Fowler Student Center,” the
side read.
The goal behind these changes is
not stated on the website, though it is
possible they would result in reduced
operating costs.
Some students have expressed
concerns about the reduced hours. This
change could impact both students who
live on campus and those who commute.
Coming after the closure of Maggie’s Cafe
in 2022, another third space (as coined
by sociologist Ray Oldenburg, a location
other than home or work) on campus,
it can be difficult for students to find a
comfortable spot on campus outside of
a dorm or apartment. Addressing these
potential concerns from students, the
website stated its intention to gather
feedback from the community.
“We would like to hear from students
to find out their concerns about losing
overnight library access. This feedback
will help us make adjustments to our plan to minimize the impact on
students,” the site read.
The website included a link to the
survey, which is also accessible using the
provided QR code. Five students who
complete the survey will be randomly
selected to win $10 in flex points. The
survey closes on Friday, Nov. 22 2024. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
NEWS 2
Alumni, faculty, staff members make upgrades to capacity of campus high-performance rig, enable researchLC installs two new CPUs to computing cluster
Watzek Library floats plan to cut
hours next fall, surveys studentsOregon ranks fifth in
nation for LSAT scoresBy KAI GODSEY
ON MONDAY, Nov. 11, Watzek
Library hosted an event
celebrating a recent upgrade
to the college’s high-performance
computing cluster, affectionately
known as BLT for its worker nodes
“Bacon,” “Lettuce” and “Tomato.”
Ben Glick ’20 is an alum who has
been helping the school operate the
cluster since its initial installation. He
explained the nature of the network
in his presentation at the event and
emphasized its implementation on
campus and beyond.
“We have had this system on
campus since 2017. We have served
four plus departments, five plus
courses and multiple hemispheres.
There was one project where Greta’s
class used this system from Australia.
That was kind of logistically fun to
support, but it worked out pretty well,
and now we can say we used it literally
across the world,” said Glick. “We
started the project in 2017 because
we had some pressing bioinformatics
needs where they just were not going
to scale on any of the infrastructure
we had.”
Bioinformatics describes a scientific
subdiscipline concerned with analyzing
and arranging sets of biological data.
Due to the size of these datasets, this
type of work often requires serious
computational resources. When a student
project exceeded the computational
capacity of campus hardware, attempts to outsource the computing to Amazon
Web Services turned out to be extremely
expensive. Luckily, Amazon discounted
the price for academic purposes,
and LC was able to
direct some funding
toward filling this gap
in research resources
on campus.
Since the system’s
installation in 2017, it
has undergone three
upgrades, adding a
high-performance file
storage system, named
“Bread” and a graphics
processing unit named
“Sprouts.” A new set of
two central processing
units (CPUs) was also
installed just before
the presentation on Nov. 11. These new
CPUs are named “Onion” and “Pickles.”
Glick described how these newer CPUs
from the company Advanced Micro
Devices, Inc. (AMD) would drastically
improve overall performance.
“Depending on how you count,
anywhere between 66% and probably
a couple hundred percent performance
speed up on our system, because these
two are top of the line AMD CPUs built
in 2023, and all the other ones that we
had are older Intel, kind of mid-range
server CPUs, which were built in 2016
through 2018,” Glick said.
Joining Glick on the leadership
team are Head of Digital Services at
Watzek Library Jeremy McWilliams and Professor of Biology Greta Binford, who
have been working on the project from the
get-go. Binford’s work involves complex
bioinformatics that the computing
cluster can handle
much more affordably
than outsourcing to a
cloud service.
The BLT recently
finished a five-week
computation analyzing
Binford’s work, sorting
an index of genetic
sequences based on
their similarities. The
index contained 27
trillion base pairs. If
it had been executed
on a single computer
core, where the average
laptop might contain
four cores, this computation would
have taken 22 years, longer than many
students have been alive for.
“What we really need now, as Jeremy
and Greta alluded to, is engagement,
especially outside of the sciences,”
Glick said. “We have some number
of hundreds of thousands of dollars
worth of infrastructure downstairs that
not that many people on campus even
know exists, which is not that great.
It definitely, like people have said, is a
unique opportunity to have access to this
kind of a system from a small school.”
For inquiries about or technical
assistance using these powerful,
recently-upgraded computers, email
blt-cluster@lclark.edu.
Lewis & Clark’s Northwestern School of Law earns mention for students’ test results.FABIOLA RIO/THE MOSSY LOG
“We have some
number of hundreds
of thousands of
dollars worth of
infrastructure
downstairs that not
that many people
even know exists.”
By EMMA CLAIRE
AMBROZIAK
ON OCT. 28, Juris Education, one
of the nation’s top law school
admissions consulting firms,
published a study that ranked the fifty
states by how they performed on the
Law School Admission Test (LSAT) in
2024. Oregon was ranked No. 5 in the
country, with a leading score of 157.28
out of 180 possible points. This is in
comparison to the average national
score, which falls between 152 and
153. Lewis & Clark’s Law School held
the highest median LSAT score in the
state, which contributed to Oregon’s
high overall ranking.
Calandra Almond, an admissions
counselor with Juris Education,
highlighted the caliber of LC’s law
program in a statement shared with
The Mossy Log via email.
“Oregon, ranking fifth in the
nation for average LSAT scores among
test takers, showcases Lewis & Clark
Law School setting the standard for
excellence in legal education,” Almond
wrote. “With a median LSAT score of
160, Lewis & Clark holds the highest
median LSAT score of any law school
in the state.”The District of Columbia, Utah,
Massachusetts and Colorado were
ranked as having the highest state
average LSAT scores, in that order.
Colorado and Oregon nearly tied,
with Colorado’s state average LSAT
score of 157.53 being only a quarter of
a point higher than Oregon’s 157.28.
Some law schools are moving away
from requiring the LSAT in the same
way that some undergraduate colleges
are deprioritizing SAT and ACT scores
in admissions processes. However,
like most law schools in the nation,
LC does still require applicants to take
the LSAT.
While LC does not have a minimum
score requirement, this study
underscores the competitive nature
of its applicant pool and can inform
application decisions for students
interested in attending LC’s law school.
The Northwestern School of
Law has been nationally recognized
for its programs in environmental
and natural resources law, animal
law, public interest law, intellectual
property and legal writing.
Applications for the law school are
currently open for interested students,
and applications received by March 15,
2025 will be given priority consideration.
News Editors
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Web Manager
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Business Manager
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Social Media Manager
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ROSE BIALK/THE MOSSY LOGFRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
NEWS 3
Phi Alpha Delta chapter to
create pre-law opportunitiesCollege is disappointed
by Trump’s re-election
Professors promote new classes in
partnership with local organizations
Continued from page 1.
“There’s a lot of enthusiasm, I
think, both within Lewis & Clark and
at potential partner organizations,
and it’s just a question of making sure
that we continue to act in accord with
these strategic imperatives,” he said.
Binford expressed a similar
sentiment about the beneficial
impact of connecting students with
community organizations.
“Our goal is to create opportunities
that are not necessarily driven by data
science but rather driven by students
wanting to make a difference in the
world and realizing how data science
skills can benefit that,” Binford said. Continued from page 1.
The PAD chapter will continue to be
separate from the Pre-Law Club, but the
idea of bringing a chapter here was due
to a visit to the club from members of
the law campus chapter.
Lewis & Clark offers a program
that allows students to complete their
bachelor’s degree and then their law
degree immediately afterward through
LC’s Northwestern School of Law.
“We have this 3 and 3 program
that is really cool, but a lot of people
don’t end up going through with it.
I think, in part, that’s because there
are not a lot of pre-law resources on
campus,” Peluce said. “At the end of
the day, I want the pre-law concept to
be very strong on campus. Something
(where) people who are interested in
it can seek out to set themselves up
for the future, success in law school,
finding internships and connecting themselves with people actively in
the field.”
The undergraduate chapter held its
first recruitment tabling event on Nov.
11. Even if you did not get a chance to sign up then, PAD is a great opportunity
to expand on even an inkling of interest
in pursuing a law degree. For more
information, email the chapter at
lcpad24@gmail.com.Continued from page 1.
Andrea Salyer, the director of the
CSCCI emphasized the importance of
turning to the community for support.
“I am really happy that so many
people came together,” Salyer said. “I
think it’s a stressful time, and so I’m
glad that there’s a space for people to
come and just be in community and
have some fun because I know that
this is stressful for a lot of folks. It’s
stressful for me too, so it’s just good
to see the Lewis & Clark community
coming out.”
Salyer further expressed gratitude
for the large student turnout at the
event, believing that it indicates that LC
has a politically engaged student body.
“I was encouraged by this whole
election season, and particularly
this, all encouraged by the amount
of engagement from our students,
because there is a narrative in the
media that young people don’t care,”
Salyer said. “I think that Lewis &
Clark students are very engaged, and
so there is a counter-narrative that
I’ve appreciated and seen among our
student population.”
She further reiterated that the
CSCCI will continue to support students
and encourage political engagement.
“I think that elections, regardless
of how they turn out, the real work
starts after them. It’s how we continue
to be engaged, how we continue
to fight for the issues that we care
about,” Salyer said. “That’s what our
work (at) the center is really based
on. I’m looking forward to tomorrow
and the coming weeks to figure out,
‘Okay, what’s next? How do we move
forward? How do we continue to
organize students around the issues
that matter to them?’”
Early in the morning of
Wednesday, Nov. 6, Republican
candidates former President Donald
Trump and Ohio Sen. JD Vance won
the key battleground swing state of
Wisconsin, delivering the 10 Electoral
College votes that pushed them over
the 270 vote threshold needed to win
the election. The Associated Press
projected their victory at 5:34 a.m.
Eastern Standard Time.
In the days after the election,
a number of students expressed
disappointment and concern over the
implications of a Trump presidency.
Erin Connelly ’27, an English
major who sat in at the election event,
found the results of the election
unsurprising and felt as though she
would not have been elated by either
candidate winning.
“I’m not surprised. I kind of went
through a phase of despair, where
I felt, honestly it was before Trump
even actually won, I was just like, ‘Oh
my god, if Kamala wins, it’s just going
to be stagnated, and if Trump wins,
things will get worse,’” she said.
Jackson, on the other hand, was
taken aback by the results.
“I would say this is perhaps worse
than the worst-case scenario, as I
imagined it before the election. Yeah,
it’s really bad,” said Jackson. “So
really, just a very surprising outcome.
And very scary too.”
Montgomery was also disheartened
by the limited turnout.
“I am disappointed by the lack of
voter turnout and seeing people who
chose not to vote at all. I think we
have such an immense privilege to be
able to vote, and even if there’s not
a candidate you fully agree with, it’s
empowering to have a say in things,
both on a local and national level,”
she said.
Jackson theorized that Harris’
loss was a result of her late campaign
start following President Joe Biden’s
withdrawal from the race in mid-
July, along with her lack of real
policy promises.
“There’s a number of things she
definitely could have done better.
Not being shackled to Biden’s policy
position and actually being able
to establish her own identity as a
candidate would definitely have
helped. Promising more change
perhaps would have definitely
helped,” Jackson said. Connelly interpreted Trump’s win
more as a sign of America’s seemingly
continual ideological shift farther and
farther to the right.
“America is leaning more and more
conservative,” she said. “America is so
sexist and so racist, and I think that
was a major part of Kamala’s loss.”
Whatever the reasons for Harris’
loss may be, both Jackson and
Connelly expressed great concern
regarding the impact they believe
Trump’s presidency will have
on various political issues, both
domestically and internationally.
“If Kamala had been elected, we
would have been able to be fighting on
Palestine, fighting over things that are
actually very important, like climate
change and all these things that the
Biden-Harris administration was
failing to really address. Now we’re
going to have to be fighting for way
more fundamental stuff. We’re gonna
have to be fighting over abortion
rights. We have to be fighting over just
even basic democracy,” Jackson said.
Jackson emphasized the shift
in focus from progressive causes to
fundamental rights due to Trump’s
success, while Connelly shared
similar concerns, noting how issues
important to her — such as LGBTQIA+
rights, environmental justice and the
ongoing conflict in Gaza — now feel
overshadowed by a lack of progress
from either candidate.
“A big one, you know, just kind
of in my life, is trans rights and
environmentalism and queer rights,
and what’s happening in the lives of
people of color, people of color and
the policing system are big concerns
for me. And also, although hopelessly,
Palestine — both of the candidates
suck in that regard. It was important
to me, but I kind of saw that neither of
them was going to be getting better,”
Connelly said.
Despite the uncertainty that many
Americans feel at the current moment,
Montgomery, Jackson and Connelly all
agree that there is hope the election
results will push more citizens to
become further politically engaged.
“I have a sudden, strange spark of
hope that I’m like, ‘Maybe this will
push more people to be politically
active. This will make more people
interested in this.’ And that goes both
ways. Both the left and the right.
But I think this is an opportunity,
if anything, to find community,”
Connelly said.
Jackson echoed this sentiment,
sharing a personal commitment
to deeper involvement within
U.S. politics and various political
movements throughout the nation.
“I know I definitely need to get
more involved as a result of this. I
think a lot of people are also going to
get a lot more involved in protests and
all sorts of movements as a result of
this,” they said.
Montgomery builds on this urge
to become more politically active,
encouraging LC students to use their
post-election stress as a force for
positive change.
“I share the stress that so many
people have after this election, but I
would encourage everyone to channel
that stress into action and look for
ways to get involved in whatever ways
you can. There are so many great
organizations both on and off campus
that could always use more support.
If you take away anything from this
election cycle, which I know is many
students’ first presidential election
they were able to vote in, take away
the fact that knowledge is power
and it’s easier than you think to get
involved,” Montgomery said.
In the days and weeks after the
election, community members continue
to process overwhelming Republican
victories in the House, Senate and Oval
Office. While some are still mourning the
loss of the Harris campaign, others are
mobilizing to engage with community
needs, local issues and national reform.
Post-election anxiety remains high, with
only 66 days remaining of the Biden
presidency. Faculty, staff and students
alike anticipate major political and
social shifts in the months to come.
ALEX NASH/THE MOSSY LOG
Recently-elected local, state politicians
promise new programs, policy changeFABIOLA RIO/THE MOSSY LOG
City Councilor-elect Olivia Clark promises
to combat homelessness, increase safety.COURTESY OF KOIN
City Councilor-elect Mitch Green advocates
for affordable housing, working families.COURTESY OF MULTNOMAH CO. DEMOCRATS
City Councilor-elect Eric Zimmerman
seeks to combat local homelessnessCOURTESY OF KATU NEWS
Mayor-elect Keith Wilson wants to end
open air drug use and expand housing.COURTESY OF BALLOTPEDIA
Congresswoman-elect Janelle Bynum
will attempt to federally protect abortion.COURTESY OF JANELLE BYNUM
Attorney general-elect Dan Rafield will
work to protect workers from wage theft.COURTESY OF DAN RAYFIELD
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
OPINION 4
Unless otherwise stated, the views expressed in the Opinion section are NOT those of The Mossy Log and are held by the authors.By OLIVIA FENDRICH
IT IS TIME TO stop grieving the
election of Donald Trump. If you
voted for Trump, I hope you are
someday able to understand what
you have done to this country, to your
neighbors and to yourself. This is your
lesson to learn, and I hope you take that
seriously.
But that sentiment does not capture
our country’s primary political challenge.
The American government has
screwed the people in this country
over so badly that we have turned on
each other. Trump is just one symptom
of that problem. The white men of
our generation are being increasingly
drawn far-right political figures and the
MAGA movement. Several minorities
and marginalized groups have shown
greater support for Trump than in
either of the two previous presidential
elections. The results of this election
only prove what has been festering
under the surface for years: that we
cannot find it within ourselves to care
about each other.
I am sick of people in this
community and on this campus openly
espousing far-left ideals without any
intention to participate in meaningful
political action. While there are some
who are committed to organizing
and effecting change, by and large,
our approach to activism has become
performative, shaped by polarization
and a dwindling sense of human
empathy. The reality is that very few
are willing to do the difficult, often
unseen work of community organizing
and engagement — and those who do
face immense challenges and barriers.
We must do everything in our power
to prevent this tragedy from turning us bitter or hateful. Too often, we
struggle to show compassion for those
who live outside our bubble, to find
solidarity with the individuals most
affected by systemic oppression in the
country and to understand why Trump
remains such a powerful figure for so
many Americans. The Democratic
Party is crumbling. We cannot rely on
politicians to make the right decisions.
It is on us to advocate for the people
in this world who cannot advocate for
themselves do so.
While gerrymandering and voter
disenfranchisement, especially of
people of color, have shaped policies
you oppose, these policies do not
reflect the will of many Southerners.
Do not vilify the people you should be
fighting for. Our fight now is not about
region vs. region, it is about focusing
on solidarity and action — that starts
in the communities closest to us.
We attend a predominantly white
institution with a great deal of middle
and upper-middle-class students.
Many of you can rely exclusively on
your parents for financial support
during this period of your life. I am not
here to condemn you for that. But if
you are lucky enough not to work a job
or rely on other campus involvements
for income, it is incumbent on you to
take advantage of your free time and do
the work that voting could not achieve.
Submit an opinion piece to a local
paper (like The Mossy Log or The
Oregonian) talking about the world
we ought to live in and how we can
achieve it. Get involved with Portland
Mutual Aid Network, or call your
local government to advocate for
community libraries and gardens.
Donate to an abortion fund in a state
imposing abortion restrictions. If you cannot monetarily contribute to causes
you care about, donate your time and
labor through volunteer work.
Hands On Greater Portland is
a group that collates a directory of
volunteer opportunities across a
variety of projects, including local
park restoration, assisting public meal
services, tutoring children, delivering
groceries to seniors and more.
Other local groups to look at for
volunteer opportunities are Rose
Haven, Sunshine Division, Rehab’s
Sisters, Blanchet House, Community
Partners for Affordable Housing,
Habitat for Humanity ReStore,
Family Promise of Metro East,
Meals on Wheels People and Store
to Door Oregon. Equitable Giving Circle, Immigrant
and Refugee Community Organization,
the Urban League of Portland and
Don’t Shoot PDX all work to empower
local communities of color and could
greatly benefit from more volunteers.
L’Arche Portland runs three
homes throughout the city for people
with intellectual disabilities and
needs volunteers to assist with a
variety of tasks.
If you care about the mass
killings in Palestine, Yemen, Sudan,
Ethiopia, Myanmar, Burkina Faso
or any of the other regions around
the globe facing war or genocide,
call your representatives and go to
protests advocating for the victims of
this violence.The United States is not unique.
Other people throughout history and
the world have lived under and fought
against far more repressive regimes
than the Trump administration. It is
time to stop wringing our hands over
how we will survive this time and start
fucking doing something to improve it.
For many of you, the policies
Trump’s administration will enact
likely will not affect your everyday
life. Do not let this make you ignorant.
Everywhere you look, there is work
to be done — posting an Instagram
infographic to your majority-liberal
followers is not enough. We must show
up for our communities, or else the
next four years will be graver than we
can imagine. Anonymous term reviews are harmful, obsolete
Citizens must redirect disappointment, take communal action in face of upcoming right-wing legislation
FABIOLA RIO/THE MOSSY LOGPresidential fears should motivate activism, protestEnd-of-semester evaluations dishearten new, experienced professors alike, lack crucial learning context
By DR. PAULS TOUTONGHI
I AM WRITING this editorial today
with the goal of changing an
institutional policy at Lewis & Clark.
I am not the person who can make this
change, so all I can do is describe the
policy — and its very real effects — and
hope that someone else has the courage,
or capacity, to act.
I remain hopeful that a change can
happen, and this change could have a
meaningful and positive impact on the
lives of hundreds of teachers, at this
institution, for decades to come.
The policy is: anonymous end-of-
semester evaluations from students.
I cannot think of another context
in which anonymous performance
reviews are allowed to have such a
significant — and lasting — impact on
the life of an individual, in the context
of their professional life.
The first thing I want to say is: most
of my evaluations are positive — 98% of
them. Many of them extremely so. They
say excellent things about me as a person
and a teacher. But that does not change
the fact that I have received — and over
seventeen years in the classroom, I have
taught over 1,600 students — many
negative, anonymous reviews. And they
have stung and wounded me. In fact,
they haunt me to this day.
I will share some of them with
you here:
“I was bored this semester. I felt like I
was being taught down to.”
“Pauls is highly disorganized.”
“I wanted to get to the point and rarely
felt like we did anything applicable.”
“Pauls is a weird guy.”
“A bad professor who made an
awkward semester worse.”
“I guess he was fine. Kind of snobby
about ‘literature’ though.”
“He acts as though he’s giving us
this wide berth to do whatever we
want, but really nobody knows what’s
actually being asked of them in the
most basic sense and it’s paralyzing rather than liberating.”
“Class discussions were painfully
tedious. Small groups tended to be better
because we all knew how trite it all was
and didn’t feel the need to pretend. A
total waste of time.”
“I think he really needs to work on
some things: especially just being calm
and non-passive-aggressive in class.”
“Just not a good professor.”
“He gave us the same assignments
week after week and didn’t remember
that we had already done it.”
What was the result of receiving
these comments?
A crushing sense of failure. Even
though they represent the tiny minority
of student opinions in my classes.
I am not the only one. I know of
one colleague who gets a bottle of wine,
uncorks it and pours herself a glass — the
only way she can get through reading the forms. When another colleague found
out I was writing this piece, she said: “I
live in fear of opening those files every
May and January.”
Reading these anonymous reviews
each semester, I have often felt like a
professional failure and, by extension,
a personal failure. They have made me
want to leave the profession of teaching.
The negative comments are clearly
written with the intention of wounding
me — and they, in fact, succeed.
I cannot help but believe that if the
students who wrote these things had to
sign their names to them, then perhaps
they would feel accountable, in the same
way that I feel deeply accountable for my
curriculum — and strive, constantly, to
refine and develop it.
If I knew that the students who wrote
these comments were, in fact, students
who skipped numerous classes, or were poor writers, or who did not participate
in class discussions — or who were
clearly struggling with hostility toward
their peers, or toward me, or with some
other form of readily-observable mental
illness — I would have a clearer sense of
what was going on.
The anonymity of student feedback
prevents me from understanding its
context. And context matters. Because
who writes the comment adds an
important dimension to the comment
itself. If the whole point of gathering
this feedback is to make me a better
teacher, then understanding who has
had an issue helps me understand
what the issue really is.
And furthermore — if a college
education is not about gaining the
courage to stand behind what you
say, think, and believe — what is it
really for?Before you think, immediately, about
privilege and fragility — as we have been
trained to do in situations where someone
who seemingly has power complains
about the criticisms that they receive as
a result of that power — please suspend
your judgment for just a moment.
Instead of thinking about how I
should feel — or how I could learn to
feel — think about how I do feel, reading
these words on the page. Travel with me
into that emotion. I am a person, hopeful
that I have done a good job — earnest. I
care deeply about my students and their
experience. I have worked as hard as I
possibly can during the semester — and
before it — to design courses that help
students understand either fiction writing
or nonfiction writing, and become better
writers in these disciplines.
Then, I open my course evaluations
at the end of the semester, and I read
those words.
Why?
Is there not a better way?
The argument that students do not
want professors to punish them — in
the future — by giving them worse
grades as payback for bad evaluations
strikes me as unconvincing. We
are not vindictive. As for getting a
recommendation for a job or graduate
school from a professor who you
dislike — I do not even know where to
begin untangling that situation.
The administration clearly thinks
there is a problem. It convened a
panel of professors in 2022 to engage
in a multi-year revision process for
the student evaluation form. But,
sadly, the new form is very much like
the old form — and everything is
still anonymous.
What is going on here? Why are we
doing this to our faculty — especially
our untenured faculty? Why are we not
taking steps to ensure that their job
is as kind, and humane, as possible?
Teaching, like learning, is really
difficult. Can we take better care of
each other? HALCYON ORVENDAL/THE MOSSY LOG
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
OPINION 5
By EMMA CLAIRE
AMBROZIAK
IN THE DAYS before, and especially
in the days after Election Day, I have
seen a plethora of rhetoric from
both left-wing and right-wing sources
about the extent to which politics can
(and should) impact our relationships.
Generally, I noticed liberals swear
off Trump supporters who decided
that racism, transphobia, xenophobia,
34 felony convictions and dozens
of sexual assault allegations were
not dealbreakers in their vote for
the President of the United States.
Subsequently, I noticed many white,
male Trump voters declaring that
“politics shouldn’t get in the way of
our relationships.” But there is a whole
spectrum of feelings about whether
or not politics should affect our
relationships — on both sides.
Harris, in her concession speech on
Nov. 6, highlighted the importance of
moving forward together.
“I know folks are feeling and
experiencing a range of emotions right
now,” she said. “I get it, but we must
accept the results of the election. Earlier
today, I spoke with President-elect
Trump and congratulated him on his
victory. I also told him that we will help
him and his team with their transition
and that we will engage in a peaceful
transfer of power.”
I was impressed with the tact and
civility with which Harris responded
to this devastating loss, though I am
not sure I can do the same in my own
relationships. Politics and relationships
are complicated — particularly when
they collide. I have engaged in a
ridiculous amount of mental gymnastics
in the days after the election, trying to
piece together my feelings and make
sense of it all. I think that the decision
to let politics influence relationships
is a deeply personal one, and I think
that the importance of politics in a
relationship depends on what kind of
relationship it is.
I read a number of articles that
interviewed women who were grappling
with their boyfriends’ or husbands’
decisions to vote for Trump, and
therefore, against their reproductive
rights and bodily autonomy. I read
about people who broke up with their
partners because they voted for the
opposite party. I spoke to a friend in a
swing state who told me that she hardly knew anyone who was voting and that
she had to convince her boyfriend to
go out and vote. Another friend called
me in tears the week before Election
Day because she just found out her
boyfriend voted for Trump.
I sympathize with these women,
but I would not be able to date
someone whose worldview is so
starkly different from mine; I choose
the people in my life carefully, and
in a romantic partnership, which
is often more time-consuming and
intimate than other friendships or
relationships, I would not be able to
look my partner in the eye knowing
that they could tolerate someone like
Trump in office, someone who does
not respect women, people of color,
immigrants or queer folks.
But I do have a few friends — and a
few family members — who voted for
Trump. When I think about this, I feel
sick to the stomach. I wonder if they
are thinking about how it feels for the
women in our family who have been
sexually assaulted to see a man found
liable for rape ascend to the presidency.
I wonder how they would feel if one of
the women in our family died because
an easy procedure for a pregnancy-
related complication was no longer legal
due to their vote. I wonder why they are
okay with the things that Trump has
said and done, and I wonder if their vote
boils down to the fact that they simply
do not want a woman to be president.
Perhaps. Perhaps not.
I am a left-wing voter who
believes that immigrants make our
country better, that reproductive
care is healthcare and that affordable
healthcare and LGBTQIA+ rights are
human rights. I care about dismantling
mass incarceration, equalizing
opportunities for people of color,
protecting the environment and not
electing violent fascists to office.
It is important to me to build a life
where I feel that my values are shared
by the people around me. I do not want
to spend my precious time around
people who infuriate me and who refuse
to understand me, my values or my
beliefs. I do not need to be understood
and accepted by everyone in my life, but
I am a human being who wants to be
understood and accepted by the people
closest to me. And I need the people who
are closest to me to value human rights,
basic human decency and individual
autonomy. And so I sympathize with, and support, the decisions of my friends
and family to cut themselves off from
people who vote against their rights.
And yet I also believe that we are
made better by diversity. Diversity
of human beings, of backgrounds, of
experiences and of values. At the same
time, some of the strongest, longest
lasting relationships we experience
in our lifetime are rooted in shared
values. So, what does that mean for
us, in the context of this election, and
in the context of our country’s ever
increasing polarization?
I do not know. But let me say this:
It is certainly your choice to cut people
out of your life, especially if they are
voting against your rights. But I also
think it is important to talk with people
who have different beliefs, to keep
lines of communication open with
people who you may influence later on
down the road, or who may have some
influence on you.
The Trump supporters in my life have
not been, are not and never will be the
people whom I allow into my innermost
circles. I do not think that someone who
decides that blatant racism, xenophobia
and repeated sexual assault are not
dealbreakers in their vote is deserving of
my limited time and energy. It is important
to me to choose the people in my life
carefully and to surround myself with
people whom I respect and admire. In the
same way that I strive to surround myself
with people who have strong work ethics,
dark senses of humor and kind hearts, I
strive to surround myself with people who
care about protecting human rights, taking
care of the environment and educating
themselves on where their biases and
privileges play a role in their lives.
While I wholeheartedly respect and
support the decisions of others to cut
themselves off completely from Trump
supporters, I am choosing a more
moderate path. I can be amiable and
respectful towards people who share
different beliefs. I can even be civil and
diplomatic towards those who vote
against my reproductive rights and bodily
autonomy, and remain optimistic that one
day we will have a productive, meaningful
conversation. I will not invest significantly
in those relationships; I will not cut them
off completely, but I will relegate them to
the outer circles of my life.
Am I complicit in this culture of
polarization? Maybe. But should I tolerate
bigotry and ignorance in my inner circles
and in my everyday life for the sake of “getting along” and “not letting politics
ruin relationships?” Maybe not.
Will I remain open to conversations
with people who share different
worldviews? Absolutely. Will I seek
out people in my life who are okay
with racism, transphobia, violence and
assault? I think not.
I do not want to contribute to the
“othering” I see employed so often by
politicians and voters alike, and I worry
about the ever-increasing polarization
of our country. I am wary of living in
an echo chamber of values, and I want
to surround myself with a wide variety
of people and beliefs. At the same time,
I understand the need to seek out a
community that makes you feel safe,
that is accepting of your values and
that respects your identities.
Again, the question of whether or
not to let politics affect relationships and if so, to what extent — is a deeply
personal matter, and I think there is
no one right answer. It is important
for us to keep in mind the ways that we
contribute to the “othering” that runs
rampant in this country. It may not
be as extreme as Trump demonizing
trans folks, Muslims and immigrants,
but it is “othering” nonetheless. I am
grappling with it constantly.
The answer is not total and
complete ostracization. Polarization
is not helping us move toward the
world we want. But I do not think
anyone should feel obligated to invest
in relationships with people who vote
against their rights. Be kind, be open-
minded and be forgiving; but also,
be firm in what you believe in and in
where your boundaries lie, and do not
apologize for being selective in who
you let into your world.Combating polarization necessitates open-mindedness, but setting boundaries is equally importantPolitics’ impact on relationships is nuanced
Unless otherwise stated, the views expressed in the Opinion section are NOT those of The Mossy Log and are held by the authors.
Colleges do not prepare us for post-grad employment
Internship opportunities are unequitable; curricula need to incorporate marketable, real-world skills
By TANVI SHUKLA
AS YOU NEAR graduation and
polish that resume, you face a
brutal reality: the job market is
not exactly rolling out the red carpet for
you. Many of us thought that four years
of college would unlock the “You’re
Hired” doors in the employment
industry, but the real world often
sees it as one of several necessary
qualifications. If you ever find yourself
spiraling into anxieties about post-
grad options, you are not alone. Even
as a sophomore, nightmares of ending
up unemployed — even after studying
for 16 years — haunt me.
The increasingly crowded job
market does little to ease this anxiety.
According to Forbes, as of October
2024, the average monthly rise in
new jobs has fallen by 28% compared
to 2023, with an average of 118
candidates applying for each new
job that is advertised. As a result of
this booming rise in the number of
people looking for jobs, entry-level
jobs now require three to five years
of experience or multiple internships
to stand out as a first-time candidate.
This was reflected in a 2021 LinkedIn
analysis, where the organization
found that 35% of the entry-level jobs
posted on their forum required three
or more years of experience.These unrealistic expectations
in the status quo raise an important
question: Is a college degree enough
to secure employment, or is it just an
expensive piece of paper?
Most colleges still emphasize
theoretical knowledge over practical
application. Sure, hours in the library
might make us experts in postcolonial
literature or advanced calculus, but
how often will we analyze sonnets or
derivatives in a typical workplace?
When we finally enter the job market,
it becomes glaringly clear that we lack
the skills employers value: negotiation,
teamwork, problem-solving and
adaptability. These gaps within the
curriculum make college education
feel outdated and out of touch with real
world demands.
On the other hand, some see
summer internships during college
as a gateway to securing a job
afterward. Yet, access to internships
is not equitable. While internships
can provide hands-on experience,
getting one often feels like a battle.
Many internships are unpaid or pay
very little, especially in fields like the
arts or social sciences, where “gaining
experience” is often synonymous with
“working for free.”
Ultimately, it all boils down to
whether a student comes from a
privileged background that allows them to take on these low-paying internships
for the sake of a “prestigious”
addition to their resume. Students
from underprivileged backgrounds
often forgo these resume building
opportunities, because they need to
dedicate their time to a job that earns
them enough money to pay their bills.
Some students, in the face of a
competitive job market and anxiety
about future unemployment, endeavor
to do it all — juggling part-time jobs,
side gigs, unpaid internships and a
full course load throughout the school
year. But for many students, this
is neither sustainable nor realistic.
Students should not be asked to do
more, and should not have to rely
on poorly-compensated internships
to make their degrees useful in the
professional world.
In a nutshell, the main problem
with the transition between education
and employment lies in the lack of
real-life skills in college courses. While
experience gaps can be addressed
through internships, equitable access
remains a significant concern. We are
entering an era where a degree alone is
no longer enough to guarantee career
success. With tuition costs rising,
should we not expect an education
that directly prepares us for the
professional world? A recent report
by Georgetown University Center on Education shows that by 2031, jobs
requiring a college degree are expected
to decline by 10%. A 2024 Linkedin
study also portrays that nearly 72% of
employers now prioritize candidates
with hands-on experience. Colleges
should equip us not just with a diploma
but with tangible, marketable skills.
So, what is the solution? It is
time for institutions to get creative,
investing in a curriculum that bridges
the gap between “student” and
“professional.” This means connecting
students to local organizations
and mentors, providing hands-on
opportunities for learning real-world
skills, sharing stories and examples
of how faculty and staff are currently
navigating the professional field and
helping students find paid experience
in their field(s) of interest —both on
and off campus. Incorporating these
elements into classrooms will help
students who can not afford to work
underpaid internships and attend
every career related event feel more
confident as they approach graduation.
Until then, most of us will face the
“real world” armed only with a degree, a
mountain of debt and a vague hope that
things will somehow work out one day.
In theory, college should prepare us for
the professional world, but we are still
waiting for a system that aligns theory
with practice. HALCYON ORVENDAL /THE MOSSY LOG
EMMA CLAIRE AMBROZIAK /THE MOSSY LOGFRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
FEATURES 6
Bon welcomes new receptionist to dining staff
By ISAAC BABUS
MTHABISI George Sibanda
is the newest addition to
the Bon staff working the
weekday dinner shifts at the front of
house. He has quickly made an impact
on Lewis & Clark students with the
handwritten inspirational messages
and poems he tapes to the front of the
register. Sibanda is currently working
on his Master of Laws in animal law
at the Lewis & Clark Law School, and
loves live concerts and theater. I was
fortunate enough to sit down with and
interview George for this article, and rather than summing up his story, I
will let him tell it.
Babus: “How did you end up coming
to Lewis & Clark?”
Sibanda: “Really out of pushing myself
to take a leap of faith, because when I
applied to Lewis & Clark, I actually was
on a hospital bed. I had been looking for a
diagnosis for something very rare. At that
time, there were nights when they used to
call my family to come, like to spend their
last hours with me. But to actually have
been able to get out of that without my
own doing made me realize that there is
a higher power that’s looking out for me. I
believe it’s God.
“I was struggling to move, then I
gradually realized I couldn’t run anymore.
It eventually led me to be in a wheelchair.
So I was in the hospital, and they were
looking for a diagnosis as to what was really
happening to me. I did blood tests, lumbar
punctures, MRIs, x-rays, everything. They
could see that for the function of my lower
limbs, the issue was coming from the
spinal cord, but they couldn’t find where
it was. The pain I was getting was from
the area of the lumbar spine. It was so
hard for me to actually understand exactly
what was happening to me. Even my skin
had changed. I was turning a grayish
complexion that was so unfathomable
for the people that were around me. The
biggest problem was the diagnosis of what
was happening. I eventually got diagnosed
with diabetes, but when they tried to treat
that, they realized the problem of the
lower limbs was not going. I got to meet
a doctor in South Africa, and she grouped up with a few of her friends who are
neurospecialists. They were able to find
that I had diabetes plexitis, and that was
what was affecting me. I think in simple
layman’s terms, there was no functioning
around the nerves on my spinal cord. I
had lost sensation, especially in my right
leg, which is still the problem, which is
why I’m still using the crutch, but there’s
progress. I went from a wheelchair to two
crutches, and now I am on one crutch.”
B: “How did you get involved with
the Bon?”
S: “I was offered a 50% scholarship
to come to Lewis & Clark, but, coming
from Africa, the fees are very high here.
You could have whatever you think you
have, but when you convert that money
to U.S. dollars, it’s almost nothing. But
I came too because I really wanted to
do this program in animal law. I wanted
to go after corporate accountability,
especially on ethical decisions that affect
animal law. I thought this was my lifetime
opportunity to do it. And so when I got
here, I realized I did need some financial
assistance. A friend of mine from Brazil
took me to a walk-in interview at the Bon.
And so they were interviewing me, they
said, ‘But what can we do for you? I mean,
you are on crutches and wouldn’t be able
to stand at the back for a long time or
assist effectively in the kitchen.’ So I said
to them, ‘Give me your reception area.
I’ll do my best.’ I remember Jen saying,
‘Okay, I’ll give you a shot at the reception
area.’”
B: “What got you interested in
animal law?”S: “Corporate social responsibility is
what got me interested in animal law.
I had lived in South Africa for 17 years
and worked as a candidate attorney, and
I moved from that to corporate. I got
exposed to regulatory compliance when I
was working there, and I realized that there
are so many corporate ethical decisions
that are taken that affect all types of
animals. You’d find illegal dumps that end
up with radioactive waste getting into our
seas, so that affects our aquatic animals.
Sometimes network companies move
their cell phone towers because societies
are complaining of the cancer possibilities,
so they think it’s better to cause this
cancer to animals. Property developments
that are done without proper quantity
surveying affect insects that are part of and
contribute to our ecosystem. Corporate
social responsibility does not only end with
just giving a little bit by building a road or
a bridge in a society, it’s a holistic thing. A
lot of companies subscribe to sustainable
development goals and they actually
incorporate animals because they have
to do with the entire ecosystems. Nobody
is holding these companies accountable,
so that’s what got me interested in saying
‘I need to protect animals from unethical
decisions that are taken by corporations.’”
B: “So you lived in South Africa for 17
years, where were you before that?”
S: “I’m originally from Zimbabwe.
I was born in a place called Bulawayo.
I actually grew up in different places
around that city, because I grew up with
a family where we didn’t own a home of
our own, so we would almost always be renting a backyard room from someone.
We were always moving. There’s a place
called Makokoba, it’s like the number
one township of Bulawayo, with very high
density. It’s the township that I can say
really made me, and perhaps maybe even
Thorngrove and Nguboyenja.”
B: “What do you think was the most
influential part of growing up? What
made you who you are now?”
S: “I was surrounded by so many
different people that influenced my life,
including my mom, but also I grew up
with some sort of rejection, some sort of
stigma of the fact that my parents were not
married. We grew up closer to my mom’s
family because we were all raised by my
mom … I got to meet people, especially
from church, who were not related to me at
all, but they got to love me so much. I think
that’s partially the reason I am here today.
Someone taking care and making sure
that you’re right, not only physically, but
making sure that you’re right mentally and
emotionally. I saw this from people who
were not my relatives. It was people that I
met at church, people that became friends. I
always care about how I make other people
feel because when I look back, I want to
give back through my actions to the people
that actually made me. There were so many
people that could have easily been strangers
that actually became my family, and there
were people that were my family that could
have actually been my family that ended up
just being people I’m related to.”
Read complete interview online
at mossylog.org.Sinbanda writes inspirational messages.ISAAC BABUS /THE MOSSY LOG
By MAGGIE LUKE
ON CAMPUS, jobs available to
students are often said to be
extremely competitive, with
many students applying to several
position postings before finally securing
even an interview.
According to Student Employment
Coordinator Jordan Latt, out of
the over 3,000 undergraduate and
graduate students currently enrolled
at Lewis & Clark, only 734 have logged
hours into the student employment
tracking app, Workday, this fall.
The department has been working to
expand opportunities by encouraging
supervisors to cut hours to allow
for a larger workforce, showing the
great demand for campus jobs. Many
students would agree that there is an
apparent weakness in the school’s
ability to offer jobs proportionate
to the volume of student applicants.
This obvious flaw often hides another
important question about the quality
of the student work available. What
do students who are currently
employed on campus have to say
about their jobs?
Students who were interviewed
expressed a desire for on-campus jobs to
include community involvement, good
hours and reliable communication
from administration.
Christianah Olufade ’26, a
Resident Advisor (RA) in the Global
and Cultural Community (GCC) in
the Platt-Howard Residence Hall
shared their insight as an employee
of Campus Living. This is their second
year as an RA in Platt-Howard.
“As an RA, my main goal is to
ensure that my residents have a safe
and supportive community,” Olufade
said via email. “I focus on community
building by planning and hosting
programs, offering support and
fostering a positive living environment
within the residence hall. I help
residents feel connected and create a
sense of belonging.”
Olufade also noted that they are
responsible for handling conflicts,
submitting work orders and responding
to emergencies, if any arise.
“I don’t believe my job is to police
my residents,” they said. “My job is to
respect my residents, our shared space
and myself, and (to make sure) that they
also feel supported to do the same.”One difficulty Olufade has
encountered as an RA has come from
the need to consciously separate their
work life from personal time.
“Finding a work-life balance as an
RA is both challenging and rewarding,
and it’s definitely a learning curve,”
Olufade said. “Because of the unique
nature of the role: I live where I work,
which can blur the lines between
personal time and job responsibilities.”
Olufade’s position requires them to
understand and respond to the needs
of their residents, getting to know them
on a personal level in the process. In
doing so, RAs often must sacrifice their
personal peace while in their residence
hall. This is made more difficult by the
Campus Living Office, who sometimes
do not recognize the potential struggles
of the job.
“I would want the administration
to understand the importance of
flexibility and clear communication
in student jobs,” they said. “For many
of us, a sudden shift in policies or
expectations can disrupt an already
delicate balance between work, classes
and extracurricular commitments.”
In contrast, Watzek Student Team
Lead Lily Werner ’26 shared how her
unique position contributes to her
work-life balance.
“Here at the desk, you’re able to
work on stuff if you need to,” she said.
“I work mostly during the day, so it is a
bit busier, so I don’t get to do as much
as I used to in the past, but with this job,
it’s really good.”
Like Olufade, Werner wishes that the
administration acknowledged the value
of work study jobs for students limited to
on-campus work opportunities.
“Here at the library, we kind of
struggle sometimes, so I feel like the
administration could recognize the
importance of students working on
campus, especially since not everyone has
the means to get around,” Werner said.
Both Olufade and Werner value a
sense of community in their positions.
Werner mentions that the best thing
about her job is the people she works
with. She says that her supervisors have
become her “moms at school.”
“I feel very close to them,” Werner
said. “I can always go to them if I have
any personal problems.”
She has also admitted to feeling
strained due to some aspects of her job,
including taking phone calls and having to take on a more customer-service-type
role. Although these duties are vital for
the community, they can be draining for
student employees.
Olufade says that to keep their
work sustainable, they have adopted a
“person-first mindset.”
“This approach reminds me to
see my residents as individuals with
unique needs, which helps me to
offer genuine support without feeling
overwhelmed,” they said.
While campus jobs primarily
allow students to support themselves
financially, their labor also improves
campus life and the school environment.
Olufade and Werner both aim to
foster community through their roles;
Olufade by caring for their residents
and maintaining their residence hall,
and Werner through her work in
the distribution and organization of
educational resources to students and
faculty alike.
“Knowing our efforts are seen
and valued makes the work we
do feel worthwhile and sustains
our motivation,” said Olufade.
“Additionally, transparent job
expectations, accessible procedures
and pathways for growth enable us to
thrive in our roles and strengthen our
connection to the campus community.” Mthabisi George Sibanda, law student, quickly becomes campus favorite with daily poems posted on register
Student employees discuss pros, Tea Club attracts cozy
community of sippers
By SCARLETT ROBINSON
OF THE DIVERSE collection of
student organizations available
at Lewis & Clark, the quaint Tea
Club is one of comfort and community.
The cozy, friendly atmosphere makes it
a great place to unwind in the middle of
the week and alleviate stress, if only for
a short period. The club meets in Fowler
and provides the tea — their only request
is that you bring your own mug!
Melanie Worthington ’25 joined Tea
Club during her first year at LC. Now,
she serves as the club chair, helping to
organize weekly meetings and events.
The club always provides options for any
tea drinker, including decaf options as
well as alternative milks and sweeteners.
Worthington herself enjoys jasmine tea
with nothing added but simple hot water.
“I love, love tea. So when I saw
there was a tea club, I was like, ‘Oh my
gosh, I need to join this right now,’”
Worthington said.
Their most recent meeting included
seasonal beverages such as witch hazel
tea with a mesmerizing purple hue
and a pumpkin spice chai. The warm
tea pairs perfectly with the gloomy
autumnal weather. Not only does this
club have tasty beverages, but it also
provides fun activities, a welcoming
group of members and cookies.
This week’s activity included a mug
decorating contest.
“Usually we have coloring, we always
have a ‘Tea-Dragon’ game out, and
sometimes we will have themed events.
Sometimes we will do a trivia night or
we will do a brew-your-own
tea event,” Worthington
said. “We are looking
to expand what we can
have in our meetings, so
this semester, I have been
trying to do more collabs
with other clubs.” One such collaboration was with
the Rose Garden Restoration Club in
September when the two clubs hosted a
tea party in the Rose Garden. Another was
with Students Engaged in Eco-Defense
(SEED) — a tea party in SEED’s bee
garden in October. The Tea Club is looking
forward to a brew-your-own tea event with
the Garden Club later this month.
Worthington expressed that the club
is a great way to relax with friends. She
enjoys helping lead the club, having
joined the team last year.
When reflecting on her favorite part
about running the club, Worthington
explained that it was rewarding to help
people feel comfortable in a new space.
“(I like) being able to hold a space
where so many people feel welcome and
they are able to try new teas and have a
little community,” Worthington said.
The club attracts a wide variety
of people but is uniquely known for
its ability to create a space for those
who typically describe themselves as
introverts or prefer to stay in. The quiet,
approachable nature of the club allows
for participation by anyone.
This club has garnered a beloved
reputation with its six years on campus,
and meets every other Wednesday
from 6:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. in Fowler.
Anyone interested in finding out more
about the club can email them at
lcteaclub@lclark.edu or follow their
Instagram @lcteaclub. The warm tea
and even warmer people make this club
one every student should taste, so bring
your mug to the next meeting!
ROSE BIALK /THE MOSSY LOG FABOLA RIO /THE MOSSY LOG
cons, limitations of on-campus jobs
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
FEATURES 7
By TANVI SHUKLA
AS NATIONAL Gratitude Month
settles in, it is hard not to
acknowledge the importance
of gratitude, especially as we balance
the stresses of campus life with the
cozy anticipation of the holiday season.
The average student trying to make
it through the semester might appear
overwhelmed and look like they are
battling their inner demons — between
midterms and looming deadlines. Yet
beneath it all, we are just people with
simple joys, appreciating the small
yet powerful moments that keep us
grounded. To capture what thankfulness
looks like across the LC community,
I spoke with students and faculty to
uncover what brings them joy and
appreciation. Their responses were
not just heartwarming — they were a
reminder of the beauty in our shared
human experience.
For many at Lewis & Clark,
gratitude begins with the natural
environment that envelops us all up
here on Palatine Hill. It is no surprise,
given that Princeton Review 2025
named us the fourth most beautiful
college campus in the U.S., that
people on campus often find solace
and rejuvenation in the campus’ lush
greenery and scenic views.
Felix Rivera ’27 shared his
appreciation for the environment.
“Something that I’m especially
grateful for on campus is nature. You
wake up every morning, and there’s
this presence around you,” Rivera said.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s a rainy day or if it’s sunny. I love sunny days because I
feel connected to them, but I also enjoy
rainy days — it’s always a place to just
be and exist.”
Assistant Director of Inclusion and
Multicultural Engagement Erin Khong
also expressed her gratitude for the
refreshing feeling of stepping outside
on days when her motivation is lacking.
“Looking outside the window, going
outside for some fresh air — even as a
person who craves the sun on a cold day
you walk out, and that first whiff of fresh
air just sort of reminds me … I’m alive, I’m
here, I’m present,” Khong said.
Beyond the gift of nature, a
sense of belonging is fostered
by the people who make us
feel at home. Amidst
the academic and
the personal
challenges testing
our patience,
it is often the
people around
us who make all the
difference and make life a
little less painful to deal with.
Many people on campus find
themselves deeply thankful for the
friends, family, mentors and loved ones
who create uplifting support systems and
bring positivity to their lives.
Esrra Alkhateeb ’27 expressed
gratitude for the friendships she has
cultivated during her time at LC. For
her, these friendships are not merely
support systems but sources of daily
encouragement and joy.
“I’m grateful for my friends,” she
said. “I have many close friends, and I’m really grateful for all of them
because they help me a lot and make
every moment I spend here worth it.”
Damaris Medina ’25 also expressed
deep appreciation for her professors
and mentors, particularly those who
have supported her through her
graduate school application process
and have played an important role in
her career growth.
“I have to mention Professor Nancy
Gallman — she’s been incredibly
supportive and genuinely cares
about my future. She’s always
honest with me, offering
solid advice, especially as
I move forward with grad
school. I really appreciate
that honesty because it’s
rare to find someone
who’s as real and
straightforward as
she is,” Medina said.
“And then there’s
my mentor, who
has been guiding
me through the grad
school application
process. Honestly, I can’t
thank him enough. He’s been a
godsend, and I’m so appreciative of
everything he’s done to help me take
this next step towards my career.”
This November, National Gratitude
Month reminds us of the small yet
significant things that sustain us, from
friends and family to the beauty of
nature and comforting daily routines.
While we may express gratitude in our
own way, these shared moments reveal
that deep down, we are not so different. Winter is coming:
tips, tricks for SAD
By MAYA MAZOR-HOOFIEN
THE END OF October brings
with it what I consider to be the
most difficult part of the year.
’Tis the season for gloomy skies and
copious deadlines, with Thanksgiving
break still a tantalizing two weeks
away. Thanks to the recent end of
daylight saving time, Portland will not
see another sunset later than 5 p.m.
until the start of next semester, which
can turn the long-gone cozy fall vibes
of September into an inescapable pit
of existential dread.
As a Californian transplant, I always
thought Seasonal Affective Disorder
(appropriately acronymized as SAD)
was like a reindeer; supposedly real,
but closer to Santa Claus than gravity
in terms of its impact on my life.
However, since arriving at Lewis and
Clark, I have experienced two bitingly
cold winters and a record-breaking
ice storm, and have found SAD to be
anything but mythological.
According to the National Institute
of Mental Health (NIMH), millions of
Americans experience SAD, or seasonal
depression, with many more likely
experiencing undiagnosed symptoms.
Until very recently, I thought
seasonal depression was largely due to
being perpetually cooped up indoors.
While that certainly does not help,
symptoms are caused by chemical
changes in the brain and body with the
change of the season.
According to the NIMH, one such
chemical is melatonin, which is a
sleep-cycle-regulating hormone. Your
body produces melatonin when it is
dark outside, so decreased sunlight
hours in the winter can result in
an over-production of melatonin,
resulting in fatigue and oversleeping.
Along with that, a lack of exposure to
UV rays from sunlight can contribute
to a decrease in the production of
vitamin D and mood-regulating
neurotransmitter serotonin.
These chemical imbalances can
lead to depression symptoms including
feelings of sadness, hopelessness
and restlessness, difficulties with
concentration and motivation, changes
in sleep or appetite, fatigue, and social
withdrawal, to name a few.
This conglomeration of sudden
chemical changes can be extremely
difficult to cope with, especially given
its mysterious lack of connection to
anything in your personal life. I think
there is something very poetic about our
bodies responding so predictably to the
cycles of the natural world, but that is
for me to explore in my creative writing
classes. For now, I will offer some of
my hard-earned insight and advice for
what is expected to be a snowier and
colder-than-average winter.
First, I want to assure you that
winter is hard, and it is not just you.
Whether or not you meet specific
diagnostic criteria, cold, dark days
and busy academic schedules weigh
on many students. Struggling through
this time is not due to any lack of
scholarly prowess on your part. Many
people (including yours truly!) have a
hard time with this season.
There are some relatively small
things you can do to care for your
health and mood. As mentioned,
vitamin D deficiency is common
in the winter and can contribute
to depression symptoms. Iron
deficiency can also contribute to
symptoms, a significant finding as
one in three Americans are iron
deficient, with vegetarians and
vegans and those who menstruate
being especially vulnerable. A slew of
other vitamin deficiencies including
magnesium, zinc, calcium and B
vitamins have also been linked to
depression symptoms.
All this goes to say that a
multivitamin could be highly
beneficial to your health if you are not
already taking one. As far as medical
interventions go, this could give you
a lot of bang for your buck, especially
considering that you can take vitamins
as gummies. If all medication came in
treat form, I truly believe we would
live in a healthier world. There is plenty of evidence
suggesting that a UV lamp can be
an effective treatment, but be sure
you pick the right one and are using
it correctly. These lamps are not
regulated by the Food and Drug
Administration, so you will have to
do some digging. A clinically effective
lamp should have a brightness of at
least 10,000 lux and should be used
daily for 30 minutes before 8 a.m.
Finally, I would like to share
some anecdotal advice, which is not
medically backed by any means but
that I have found to be quite useful for
myself and others.
That said, if you find yourself
routinely struggling with attendance,
deadlines or other academic
responsibilities, consider visiting the
Office of Student Accessibility. I will
be the first to acknowledge that it is
not a perfect system (see my lengthy
Opinion article on the topic), but
accommodations can be a huge relief
even if they are not a cure-all.
Talk to your professors. It is
always better to be upfront and
communicative, especially when you
are struggling, and I have never been
punished for admitting that I am
behind and in need of support. It
takes a lot of maturity and courage
to admit you need help. But, it does
get easier with practice and is always
better than hiding.
There are tons of generic mental
health tips I could list, but what I
personally find to be most important
is to be gentle with yourself. It is ok
to not be as productive as you would
like to be, or even as productive as
you were a month ago. Try to take
each day as it comes; celebrate days
that are easier and try not to punish
yourself for the harder ones. This
is by no means a simple task and is
something that I am still learning how
to do myself, but the way you talk to
yourself matters. Give yourself grace
and kindness. It goes a longer way
than you would think.
Finally, I implore you to reach out
to people. Call your family (seriously,
when was the last time you called your
family?). Try to tell your friends how
you are doing, because even if they
can not fix it for you, having someone
in your corner rooting for you makes a
difference. Lean on other people, and
when you are able, be there for them
to lean on you.
Seasonal depression is real, it is
common and it is brutal. Chemical
changes in your brain and body
coincide with ramped-up school
work, which creates a vicious cycle
of stress and exhaustion. At the risk
of spouting cliche, I hope to impress
upon you that you are not at fault and
you are not alone in feeling the strain
of the season.
Take care of each other. Take
care of yourself. And if nothing else,
there are only two more weeks until
Thanksgiving, and we will make it
through together until then. ROSE BIALK/THE MOSSY LOG
Community appreciates little
things, practices thankfulness
By LEILA DIAZ
LIKE EVERY 2000s baby, I was
promised a club culture of epic
proportions by the pop music
and coming-of-age films of my youth.
The cheap drinks, the blinding strobe
lights, the dance battle that commences
after you see the girl you and your
squad hate and your rag-tag team of
underdog friends pull off a beautifully
choreographed and surprisingly in-sync
killer move that ends the battle swiftly,
resulting in your victory where everyone
is cheering and then the girl and her
crew storm off.
As I got older, I became
disillusioned with The Club, which
I have heard is crowded, sweaty and
expensive. I am someone who would
much rather spend my Friday night
staying in and doing puzzles or having
a movie night with friends. The
glamorous 20-something I thought
I would become as a child diva has
turned out to be a major adult dork.
After years of avoiding going out, I
finally decided to try the club, and what
better time to do it than Halloween
night? My criteria for the club were
simple: no exuberant cover fee, decent
drinks (in price and taste) and, most
importantly, somewhere to sit when I
inevitably got overwhelmed.
My search led me to Holocene,
a music and arts venue, nightclub
and events space in the heart of SE
Portland. The club opened its doors in
the summer of 2003 and has been a
staple in the Portland community ever
since. The main reason I wanted to
go to Holocene? Their “Halloween at
the Bronze!: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Tribute Event,” of course.
For non-Buffy fans, the Bronze is
an all-ages nightclub located in the
fictional town of Sunnydale, California.
The club would regularly have live
music, helping create the show’s
iconic soundtrack, featuring Sarah
McLachlan’s “Full Of Grace” and Cibo
Matto’s “Sugar Water.” It served as a
major setting in the show, as 66 of the
144 episodes in the series have at least
one scene at the Bronze.
After an hour or two of pre-club
rituals (attempting to straighten my hair for that entire time while everyone else
got ready and danced) in my friends’
apartment, we embarked to Holocene.
We arrived an hour after the doors
opened and upon arrival, it did not
seem that busy. However, we quickly
realized that was because everyone was
at the upper deck of the club where the
bands Lesser Demons and later on in
the night, Crowey were playing covers
of popular songs from the show.
My friends and I enjoyed the music
from the lower deck, where we danced for
a little bit, before quickly realizing that
there was a photo booth and ran over to it.
The photo booth was located next to the
bar, which was incredibly crowded and
extremely intimidating. Nevertheless we
managed to get drinks — a RumChata
slushy which was delightfully strong
and cinnamony, as well as a “Buffy’s
Blood Orange Margarita” which was my
personal favorite as a lover of both blood
orange and margaritas. Fancy drinks
were priced $12-14, while your canned
beers and wines ranged $5-9.
After a bit, my friends and I pushed
our way to the upper deck just in time
to catch the band playing their last
covers of the night — “Zombie” by The
Cranberries and “Mr. Brightside” by
The Killers. The crowd was thrilled
by both of these and had everyone
screaming along.
After the cover bands finished their
sets, DJ Colin Jones took over, playing
everything from fun goth bangers (there
were no less than three different covers
of “Blue Monday” by New Order played)
to Eurobeats.
The highlight of the night, however,
was the costume contest. An announcer
joined DJ Jones in the booth where
they announced that anyone who was in costume and wanted to participate
was free to line up in some semblance
of order and do a fun little walk in the
middle of the dance floor.
Costumes would be judged on audience
reaction, meaning whoever received the
most screams would win. All of the fan
favorites were couples costumes: Morticia &
Gomez (and Thing!), a praying mantis with
her headless husband and a lesbian Buffy
and Spike.
They were invited back to walk
for a second round of judgment to
determine who the final winner would
be. Each couple had some playful
choreography to accompany their walk,
but ultimately Buffy and Spike won with
some choreographed simulated lesbian
sex, in which “Buffy” used her stake on
“Spike.” To say the crowd went wild was
an understatement — it turned into an
absolute madhouse in there during
her performance.
Following the contest everyone went
back to dancing. Reinvigorated by the
power of lesbians, I was able to dance
for another hour before my friends and
I were all too tired to continue. By that
time, people were already starting to
leave anyway.
Overall my first clubbing
experience was delightful. I am sure
it being Halloween elevated the
night significantly, but I found the
whole experience to be approachable
and enjoyable. There were places to
sit and chat which were utilized by
everyone at some point in the night,
the music was great and the drinks
were scrumptious.
Want to visit Holocene yourself?
Check out their website by going to
Holocene.org and clicking the “Events”
tab for all upcoming shenanigans.
Local Buffy fans strike several goofy poses in the fabled Holocene photobooth.
Editor embarks on first nightclub
experience, has scary-good time
LEILA DIAZ/THE MOSSY LOGHALCYON ORVENDAL/THE MOSSY LOGFRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
ARTS 8
By BRADY VINLOVE
LEWIS & CLARK’S fall theatre
production, “Into the Woods,”
opened on Nov. 1 to a large and
enthusiastic audience. The show,
written by Stephen Sondheim and
James Lapine, is beloved in the musical
theater world, and the unique twists the
theatre department added made it even
more intriguing.
The musical imagines many popular
fairy tales taking place in the same world,
with numerous classic characters making
wishes for the future and interacting with
one another. The story mainly revolves
around a baker and his wife who wish
for a child, but are unable to have one
due to a witch’s curse. In order to break
the curse, they set off on a quest into the
woods and meet other earnest characters.
While everyone’s wishes are granted, the
effects are disastrous, conveying themes
about consequentiality and hope.
The actors’ vocal talent and ability
to remain true to their characters made
the musical an emotional experience.
The baker and his wife, played by Brodie
Joseph ’26 and Charlotte Gregson ’25,
evoked feelings of sympathy in their
cooperation, connection and fighting.
Even the witch, played by Tiani Ertel ’25,
who is meant to be a more villainous
character tugged at one’s heartstrings
with her emotional monologues. The
voice work each actor put in made the
characters seem real and added a touch
of humor. The princes especially, played
by Dylan Hunter ’27 and Lila Kunkel ’28,
were chauvinistic and ridiculous in how
they spoke to each other, drawing laughs
from the audience.
The movement of the characters
demonstrated impressive work by actors,
especially with complicated and busy
choreography at the end of the show.
The creative use of stage space was also
engaging. Performers often went into the
aisles of the theater and utilized nooks
above the stage to create a captivating
and dynamic experience. The set and costumes added to
the immersion too. The set was unlike
what one would expect for traditional
woodland scenery. Lights on the stage
and the fly system were connected by
silver streamers, creating shimmery,
reflective trees that evoked a feeling of
confusion, similar to what the characters
felt when they were lost in the woods.
Another creative detail was the leaves on
the trees, which were made up of colorful
wish notes written by community
members — connecting to the overall
topic. There were also many simple, yet creative and effective techniques
to immerse the audience in the world
of the mysterious woods. For example,
when the baker and his wife entered
the woods, a burst of fog was released,
creating a disorienting atmosphere.
Later, when a giant destroyed the woods
and killed characters, the set shook
vigorously and trees appeared to have
fallen, adding to the environmental
immersion of the show.
On the other hand, the costumes
were more modern and unique,
rather than realistic, showcasing the artistic spirit of the production. One
case was the wicked stepsisters from
“Cinderella” who wore bright tinsel
wigs and sparkling shirts — different
from their typical costumes but still
representative of their vanity. The
witch started off wearing a ragged
cloak and a stringy black wig, but
upon becoming young again, shed
that costume to reveal a mishmash
of colorful, layered attire and flowery
wig, — a unique and stylish outfit
to represent her transformation.
Rapunzel’s famed hair was
constructed from a variety of bright
fabrics and Little Red Riding Hood’s
vibrant head piece was knitted, both
of which added texture and innovation
to the popular characters.
The pit orchestra was instrumental
in creating the beautiful soundscape
and effects in the musical. Despite
having relatively few musicians, the
orchestra maintained an excellent
volume and balance with the singers.
Each instrument was clearly heard
and sounded lovely alongside the
performers on stage. A variety of
percussion instruments were used to
convey actions such as casting spells.
Speakers were also used to add and
amplify sounds such as the giant’s voice,
thundering footsteps and the squelching
sound of someone being crushed,
creating another layer of reality through
audio. The performance of the giant by
Charlie Chalmers ’25 added comedy and
believability to the show.
The talented members of the LC
theatre department made “Into the
Woods” an enjoyable and immersive
experience, as seen by the packed
theatre on opening night. The
incredible characterization by the
actors and creative approaches to the
atmosphere, costumes and sound led
to an emotional and amusing show.
While it was different from an expected
performance of “Into the Woods,”
the production certainly provided a
delightful experience for the audience.
FABIOLA RIO/THE MOSSY LOG
By MEGAN ZIEGELE
.
TYLER, THE CREATOR’S eighth
studio album “CHROMAKOPIA,”
was released on Oct. 28 and
has quickly become a fan favorite.
Climbing to No. 1 of the Billboard
charts, “CHROMAKOPIA” has become
Tyler’s third back-to-back No. 1 debut,
following by 2019’s “Igor,” and 2021’s
“Call Me If You Get Lost.”
“CHROMAKOPIA” is a strikingly
introspective album that continues
Tyler’s genre-blending approach,
combining elements of hip-hop, R&B
and alternative rock. Tyler’s use of new
sounds and personal reflections shine
through “CHROMAKOPIA,” making it
both emotionally and sonically rich.
The album opens with the track “St.
Chroma,” introducing the recurring use
of marching-band elements which weave
throughout to create a vibe reminiscent
of high school rallies and homecomings.
This bold choice gives the album a
powerful feel, making for a fresh and
dynamic sound. Collaborations with
artists including Daniel Caesar, Childish
Gambino, Schoolboy Q and many more
enhance the album, complimenting
Tyler’s self-expressive narrative arc.
“Sticky,” featuring GloRilla, Sexyy Red
and Lil Wayne quickly became the album’s
standout hit, reaching the fourteenth spot
on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. “Thought I
Was Dead,” another fan favorite, explores
Tyler’s ambition and perseverance to
succeed in the music industry, speaking to
his unapologetic confidence in his musical
and lyrical skills.
With the album’s lead single “Noid,”
Tyler addresses the burdens and
complexities of life in the spotlight. He
explores the ever-present feeling of being
watched, emphasizing the isolation and
paranoia that accompanies fame. The track’s music video, starring Ayo Edebiri
(“The Bear”) as a frenzied fan, reinforces
this theme, speaking to Tyler’s struggles
with visibility and wish for privacy.
“Hey Jane” takes listeners through
an intimate pregnancy scare, portraying
a personal glimpse into Tyler’s life. This
track gives the listener a front-row seat
to Tyler’s thoughts and fears about
fatherhood. This theme continues in
“Like Him,” as he reflects on the sense
of loss he feels having grown up with an
absent father. The song touches on his
longing for connection with his father
and frustrations with his mother, who chose to cut Tyler’s communication
with him.
Throughout the album, Tyler expertly
uses samples of classic hip-hop hits,
including Snoop Dogg’s “Drop It Like It’s
Hot” present in “Darling I.” The album
also features callbacks to Tyler’s previous
works, such as elements of “DOGTOOTH”
(2021) displayed in “Judge Judy,” as well
as similarities between “Answer” (2013)
and “Like Him.”
Closing with “I Hope You Find
Your Way Home,” Tyler concludes the
album on a reflective note, focusing on
self-acceptance and a journey towards authenticity. Tyler uses a voice recording
from his mother, which he does on
multiple tracks throughout the album.
“CHROMAKOPIA” leaves off on a
hopeful note, suggesting that Tyler has
reached a place of personal growth and
pride in his individuality.
Overall, “CHROMAKOPIA” presents
Tyler, the Creator at his most vulnerable
and authentic. The album’s ambitious
production, combined with his profound
exploration of identity, makes it a
standout success in his discography,
cementing Tyler’s role in the realm of
modern music.“Into the Woods” mainstage musical
transports audience to fairytale forest
“At The Chime Of A City Clock”
By Nick Drake
I have had the entire tracklist of his “Bryter
Layter” album on repeat throughout
autumn, and it has become even sweeter
as the rain has begun to fall. Even then,
At The Chime Of A City Clock is still my
favorite with Drake’s soothing vocals and
brilliant lyrics. That said, if your rainy day
activity is reading, there are wonderful
instrumental tracks on the album, such as
“Bryter Layter” and “Sunday”.
— Ella R. Dunn ’27, Features Editor
“Jigsaw Falling into Place”
By Radiohead
This song is perfect for when it is raining
and you are walking in the forest on your
way to Howard, channeling major Tumblr
vibes. Your hood is up and this song is
blasting in your ears, and every beat feels
like it is syncing with your soul (or at least
your soggy footsteps). Then the song
builds up and suddenly you are one with
nature, the rain and the whole aesthetic of
being too cool to carry an umbrella.
— Fabiola Rio ’25, Visuals Editor
“Sail Away”
By The Long Faces
Between the somber guitar solo
opening and the lead singer’s
Morrissey-esque vocals, Sail Away
transcends any genre and creates
something entirely new. Combined
with The Long Faces’ poetic lyricism,
they perfectly capture the urge to sail
far away on a rainy day.
— Fiona Eilers ’26, News Editor
“So What”
By Miles Davis
I am a firm believer that a dreary
gray day calls for some smoky jazz
to be played loudly — preferably on
the biggest boom box you have. For
9 minutes and 8 seconds Davis plays
the trumpet with such depth and
emotional complexity that it is hard
to believe anyone can really play that
well. Play the whole album. It will be
good for you.
— Leila Diaz ’25, Social Media Manager
Tyler, the Creator collaborates with multiple
musicians, producing third US No. 1 album
COURTESY OF OWEN CAREY
COURTESY OF OWEN CAREYThe set incorporates texture and metallics to accentuate the fantastical nature of the play.
The headdresses and wigs were not only comical, but served as pieces of art on their own.Mossy
Music
rainy day
recommendations
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
ARTS 9
“Short n’ Sweet” tour arrives in Portland, bringing audience along for charming, magnetic performanceLocal artists create FATHOM: undersea realm
Pop star Sabrina Carpenter captivates Moda CenterBy EMMA CLAIRE
AMBROZIAK
THE FATHOM immersive art
experience downtown is a perfect
example of how local artists are
working hard to keep Portland weird.
In part inspired by other interactive art
installations such as Meow Wolf and
Hopscotch, FATHOM is unique in that
every single piece of art — whether it be
an enormous, glamorous clam bed, a
multimedia Dr. Seuss-esque creature
mounted on the wall, an animated video
clip of dragon-like fish looking perplexed,
eyeballs peeking out from every crack and crevice, sexy mermaids or neon-
bright barnacles — is handmade by a
local Portland artist.
FATHOM is put on by a local
creative collective, Roboto Octopodo,
and features over 100 artists and
volunteers who help bring it to life.
The result is an ever-changing,
undersea-inspired art experience
that demands engagement from the
get-go. The oceanic theme is an ode
to the PNW’s beautiful landscapes
and diversity of wildlife. In a way, the
experience is like a crossover between
a multi-media, immersive art exhibit
and an escape room — without the urgency of the escape room, or the
desire to leave, really. In fact, I only
spent a few hours at the exhibit, and
I plan to go back at least once or
twice to ogle at all the details that
are impossible to see the first time
around before the exhibit closes down
on Feb. 28, 2025.
A scientist in a lab coat greeted
me at the entrance, gave me a cryptic
spiel about the strange, otherworldly,
undersea-inspired world I was about
to enter, handed me a pencil and a
clipboard and invited me to partake in
research. Research entails decoding
strange text to solve the great
mystery of FATHOM or completing a
scavenger hunt for pieces of art that
could otherwise be easily overlooked.
Through the scavenger hunt, I
had a delightful journey through the
undersea sphere. I had the pleasure of
meeting “The OG Slimy Baby.” I ogled
at Marx nests, stood in Ooze Tubes
and let their sad monster noises
and chaotic gibberish envelop me. I
also said hello to a “spinning-tooth
Grackle” and walked through many
portals and voids.
On my visit, other items on the
list were “A frilly collared fish,” “The
unseeable hand” and “Alice (yes.
That one).” The research prompts are
constantly changing and evolving,
guaranteeing a unique experience
every single time. While much of the
art in the installation will be there
through February, other pieces are
only there for brief periods of time,
before they are built upon or replaced
by new creative works.
Jason Hutchinson, one of the core
visionaries for this project, iterated the
importance of giving yourself ample
time to pay attention to the multitude
of details throughout the experience.
“We want people to slow down and
really start looking around,” he said.
In slowing down and looking around
for a few hours, I only encountered
a fraction of this world put forth by
Portland’s creatives. In the nooks and
crannies of a ship — one of several
elaborate structures in the exhibit
produced by Hutchinson — laid an
abundance of other artists’ creations:
dinosaurs squaring off, Star Wars-
inspired dioramas, mini Voodoo Donuts boxes, robots, sea creatures,
mushroom gardens and colorful
seashells. Just outside of the ship, a
gallery of framed two-dimensional
and three-dimensional art covered a
wall, featuring tentacled camels and
elephants, dinosaurs squaring off and
miniature jellyfish lounging around in a
miniature speakeasy.
To the left of the wall, and up a little
bit, large, sparkly jellyfish chandeliers
floated casually above the pathway
below. I wondered if perhaps they
were having a chill, jazzy dance party.
One of the interactive rooms in the
exhibit made me feel like I was being
abducted by aliens — or maybe like I
was inside the Geometry Dash game.
Either way, it brought technological
soundscapes, laser lights and metallic,
reflective surfaces together in a
weirdly futuristic manner.
In this funky, 8,000-square-foot
universe of sensory galore, the visual art
was only a fraction of the experience.
Different soundscapes highlighted
the technological and music talents
of this wide-ranging group of arts.
The glub-glub of bubbles rising to
a surface and popping, running
water and splashing noises followed
me through the mouth of a giant angler
fish. In other parts of the exhibit, I
listened to distorted voices chattering
mixed together, a bewitching chorus
of sirens, weird buzzing noises,
electronic beats and an infinite loop
of the mechanical noises of a guttural
engine whirring to a stop. I felt the soft
fur of a multimedia unicorn creature,
reached into a void made of felt, laid
down on a crinkly, metallic clam bed
and stood inside a UFO structure,
enveloped by lasers. I pressed
buttons, pulled levers, watched clips
of robotic claymation in the windows
of a shipwreck, crawled in and out of
ooze t ubes and was angrily rumbled
at by the mother of a Slimy Baby nest.
And yet, my fraction of an
experience in FATHOM is only a
fraction of Roboto Octopodo’s larger
vision for a permanent, immersive art
experience in Portland. In these artists’
grand plan, FATHOM will be one of
several rooms in PRISM — an art show
where a series of rooms represent the
colors of the rainbow. If and when this project comes to fruition, FATHOM’s
submerged, aquatic world will be
rebuilt in the blue room.
Hutchinson explained that much
of Roboto Octopodo’s vision involves
the uplifting of local artists with
opportunities to showcase their work,
revitalizing Portland’s art scene and
creating an immersive art experience
unique to Portland — one that could
become a staple of the city’s creative
culture, for locals and visitors alike.
FATHOM is a tentative yet successful
start to this conceptualization that
has attracted considerable attention
in the local art scene thus far. Roboto
Octopodo has brought some money in
with ticket sales, field trips and renting
the space out as a venue.
“The thought was to extend our
tentacles into the community,” he said.
“This is kind of a giant lure to catch a
large shark.”
If Roboto Octopodo can get its
tentacles on a permanent space, these
artists will be able to go all out in ways
that they currently cannot. At their
current location on SW 4th Avenue
downtown, their space is limited,
and the end of their lease is quickly
approaching. Several installations
will need to be taken apart or
destroyed once they begin to break
down the exhibit, including both of
Hutchinson’s large-scale ships, which
are too big to get out of the building
in one piece. Other artists’ murals will
be painted over, and the work put into
crafting seamless soundscapes and
lighting effects will not easily transfer
to a new space.
“It’s a little bittersweet,” Hutchinson
said. “There’s a beauty in temporary art.
Not everything lasts forever.”
Tickets are $22 each, though
discounts are available for Oregon
Trail Card users, youth, seniors and
military personnel. Also, if you go
within seven days of your birthday,
you get free admission with the
promo code CLAMCAKE. Even if you
pay full price, it is well worth the visit
— for the sake of supporting dozens
upon dozens of local artists and for
the sake of reveling in this bizarre,
dazzling, absurd underwater world of
spinning-tooth Grackles, and nests of
adorable Slimy Babies.
Self-assured jellyfish float lazily in the air.EMMA CLAIRE AMBROZIAK/THE MOSSY LOG
The sea world is your oyster at FATHOM.EMMA CLAIRE AMBROZIAK/THE MOSSY LOGJason Hutchinson, one of FATHOM’s core visionaries, built this animatronic whale.EMMA CLAIRE AMBROZIAK/THE MOSSY LOG
Downtown immersive art experience lures in visitors with scavenger hunts, soundscapes, ocean dwellersEMMA FORD/THE MOSSY LOGBy TANVI SHUKLA
L IKE ANY other teenager during
the COVID-19 pandemic, the
empty days and abundance of free
time came forward as an opportunity
for me to explore the world around
me. With the world at a standstill, the
internet became my escape, introducing
me to Sabrina Carpenter’s music — a
discovery that would shape my playlists
for years to come. Her “Eyes Wide Open”
album was particularly captivating, and
it was not long before her songs took
over my YouTube playlist. Her voice
is refreshingly honest, and each song
offered a story I had not heard told
that way before. Her raw emotion, wry
humor and storytelling resonated with
me in a way few artists have. So, after
moving to the U.S. and hearing she was
bringing her “Short n’ Sweet” tour to
Portland, I knew I had to experience
her live. Instagram had spoiled a few
concert details for me, but even that
could not prepare me for what I would
feel seeing her on stage.
The lights dimmed, and as the
opening notes of her song “Taste” filled
the Moda Center, Carpenter walked
out casually draped in a towel over a
stunning purple outfit. In that moment,
the entire arena seemed to collectively
hold its breath, then burst into cheers.
Carpenter’s charm and presence were
magnetic, and I knew then I was in for
an unforgettable night. The next hour
and a half felt like a fever dream as she
performed tracks from “Short n’ Sweet”,
alongside iconic songs like “Nonsense,”
“Feather” and “Because I Liked a Boy.” Then she surprised us with a cover
of Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5,” which sent
the entire place over the edge. Nearly
20,000 voices harmonized into one
electrifying mass, and as I looked
around, I felt lucky to be a part of it.
While the whole concert was an
absolute blast of dopamine for me,
certain highlights really kept me
invested throughout. One thing that
has impressed me in Carpenter’s music
is her ability to tell stories through her
songs. This extended to the concert,
which created a well-designed narrative
of Carpenter’s daily life. She crafted a
day in her life on stage, taking us through
her morning routine, lounging in bed,
going out with friends for a wild
night and grabbing a piping hot cup
of espresso with “Espresso” playing in
the background.
The stunning visuals used throughout
the concert also played a huge role in
building this storyline. These visuals
were not just limited to projections,
including various props, beautiful stage
designing and effective use of lighting.
The overall sense was a portal into her
world, each scene a seamless part of
her story. One moment, we were in
her bedroom; the next, we were at an
impromptu late-night party. It was as if
she was letting us into her life through
the music, showing us the relatable,
mundane moments and making them
feel cinematic. The storyline was simple
but told with so much energy and flair
that it felt as if we were getting an
intimate and exclusive experience.
Of course, Carpenter’s quick wit
made her music and the moments between songs feel all the more
personal. She did not miss a beat,
and her humor kept the atmosphere
playful and fun. One such moment was
when she pretended
to lose her mic
during the outro
“Nonsense,”
which once
offered punny one-liners unique to each tour
stop. Having tired of writing new jokes
for each city, this workaround was
one great example of her
never failing to deliver
something new and
fresh on each of
her tours.
Even without
her formerly
signature outros,
the show felt personalized to Rose City. “Text your
ex, ‘You just Port-landed in my mind,’”
she suggested with a grin, as we cringed
and chuckled. Her quick-witted humor
kept the crowd in good spirits, and it
was clear she had a real connection with
the audience. The hearty laughs were
loud and visible in the crowd.
What truly elevated the night was
her ability to engage with the audience.
From arresting a fan from the crowd and
dedicating her song to them to playing
Spin the Bottle (where she spun a literal
bottle on the stage and played the song
that it landed on), she did a great job
establishing those direct connections
with the audience. In a space as huge
as the Moda Center, Carpenter still
managed to make each person feel like
she was performing just for them. The
“arrest” had everyone gasping, and was
the best transition intro anyone could
expect for her next song, “Juno”. It
was one of those rare concert moments
where you feel like the artist genuinely
sees their audience, even from a distance.
By the time the last notes of “Espresso”
rang out, it was clear Carpenter had earned
her spotlight. Her talent is undeniable, but
it is her charisma, humor and authentic
connection with her audience that truly
stood out. Her “Short n’ Sweet” tour
stop may have been brief, but it was
unforgettable — a performance that
lingers long after the applause fades.
As I left the Moda Center, I felt an even
deeper appreciation for her music and
her unique brand of storytelling. And I,
for one, cannot wait to witness all her
amazing future creations. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
SPORTS 10
Five students share experiences playing on multiple teams, collaborating with coaches, prioritizing classesDual-sport athletes balance hectic schedules
By EMMA CLAIRE
AMBROZIAK
LEWIS & CLARK has a number
of student-athletes who balance
multiple sports at a time,
sometimes during overlapping seasons. A
series of interviews with LC’s dual-sport
athletes highlights the impressive time
management, passion and dedication
that goes into each sport — as well as the
challenges and benefits of committing to
two sports in college.
Devon Guest ’25 has been playing
football since the beginning of high
school and spent a year of high school also
running track. As a fifth-year senior at
LC, he plays both, while simultaneously
majoring in mathematics and minoring
in data science.
He explained that he picked up track
on a whim, after having already played
two football seasons with LC. Football
seasons are in the fall, while the track
season runs in the spring.
“A few of the other football guys were
like, ‘What if we just talked to the track
coach about joining the team?’” Guest
said. “It was kind of random.”
He explained that with a good number
of student-athletes now balancing both
football and track at the same time, the
coaches have worked to support their
different schedules and commitments to
each sport.
“For (the) actual season, they’re
separate, but then football has offseason
workouts in the spring, which does overlap
with the track season,” he said. “Initially,
the two coaches didn’t communicate as
well as they do now, in terms of balancing,
and being understanding of our schedules
and what’s important to both. They
definitely have a better relationship, with
the new track coach, Chris Reed and
(football) Coach Bushman.”
Guest explained that during the
spring, it can be demanding to balance
both sports.
“A lot of times, football has practice
in the morning, for spring practice. So
we would practice for football in the
morning, and then go to our daily class
schedule, whatever that would be, and
then go to track practice in the afternoons.
So just doing both at the same time and
then trying to be rested, and then having
a meet at the end of the week was kinda
difficult,” Guest said.
While it can sometimes be difficult
to find free time outside of athletics
and academics, he feels that his social
life, being integrated in the athletic
community at LC, is not negatively
impacted by his demanding football and
track schedules.
“I think sports has always been a big
part of my social life, because a lot of the
people that I would hang out with, I know
through sports,” Guest said. “So it’s not
super detrimental to my social life, but
definitely, in terms of what I would do
outside of athletics or see people outside
of school might take a small hit, but
nothing too crazy.”
He emphasized the pros and cons
of playing two sports at once, pointing
out that football practices generally run
two and a half to three hours per day,
and track practices are normally an
hour and a half to two hours, including
a warm-up and cooldown. In the spring,
he can sometimes spend four hours a day
training between sports.
“When you’re doing both, you’re
putting more workload on your body, not giving yourself as much time to recover,”
Guest said. “Through running track, I
gained a lot of confidence in my speed
to translate into football, so (I built)
confidence in different aspects of my
athleticism that I didn’t have before.”
Guest shared that one of his favorite
parts about being a dual-sport athlete is
keeping him on track (pun intended) to
succeed academically and make the most
of his time.
“Honestly, I’m never not busy. A lot
of times when I have a lot of free time
during the semester, I end up putting off a
lot of my responsibilities, procrastinating
with assignments,” he said. “Having that
constant year-round of me going, I had to
be, like, tunnel vision on all I need to do.”
Jordan Lahusky ’26 also plays football
and track at LC. He is studying biology
and hopes to go into conservation work
post-grad, as well as potentially coaching
football in the future.
“I’ve been doing both for my whole
life, and it just carried on through high
school and then into college now, which I
wasn’t actually expecting,” Lahusky said.
“When I got recruited here for football,
the football coach was looking at my track
times. It kind of worked out perfectly.”
Lahusky said playing two sports has
taught him to effectively manage his time.
“It takes up so much of your time. You
have select time periods of the day where
you have to do your homework, and if you
don’t, you have to stay up really late, then
you’re gonna be tired for practice the next
day,” he said. “It definitely takes a lot of
mental and time management.”
Lahusky, like Guest, highlighted the
role of his track and football coaches in
supporting him as a dual-sport athlete.
“Both coaches know I do both and
whatnot, and they actually work together
and make a schedule where it’s safe for
me to not risk an injury,” he said. “They
really just plan it out accordingly to make
it work out so I can stay healthy.”
Lahusky, who is a running back for
football and a sprinter for track, said
that playing both sports allows him to
cross-train in different ways.
“In football, you’re always trying to
be explosive, you know, you got to move
quick,” Lahusky said. “And then the same
thing with track, when you shoot out of
the blocks.”
He identified speed-training,
weight-training and explosiveness as
athletic skills that pertain to both sports.
“Track helps me keep up my speed and
helps me get faster,” Lahusky said. “The
explosiveness from football translates to
track, and then the speed training from
track translates to football.”
He expressed his gratitude for being
able to continue playing both sports in
college, noting that it is somewhat easier
at a Division III school than at a Division I
school to compete in both sports, especially
with football being one of them.
“The best part is, honestly, you just get
to continue both your passions,” he said.
“I didn’t have to give one of them up, like
a lot of people do. A lot of people enjoy
sports, and it means a lot to them, and I’m
lucky enough to be able to do both sports
in college. It’s totally worth the not having
a social life or a lot of free time. The best
part is just getting to do both.”
Despite the time-intensive practices
and seasons, Lahusky does not feel that
his social life suffers too much from
being a dual-sport athlete because so
much of his social life is invested in the
football and track teams.“My friends are the guys that are on
the team,” he said. “Those are the people
I really hang out with, and our schedules
line up because we both have practices at
the same time.”
Megan Yanagi ’26, who is also studying
biology, has been playing both soccer and
softball since before high school. When
she came to LC, she continued to play
both sports.
Because the women’s soccer season
is in the fall and women’s softball is in
the spring, the practices rarely overlap,
except for off-season training. On
average, soccer practices are usually an
hour and a half, and softball practices can
run closer to two or two and a half hours.
“People think it’s really difficult to play
both sports, but since it’s two different
seasons, there’s not much overlap,” she
said. “I like staying busy, so it definitely
keeps me busy all year.”
She said that while she now feels like
she has strong relationships with her
teammates, it was difficult missing some
of softball’s offseason as a freshman
playing soccer throughout the fall.
“My freshman year it was hard going
into softball not knowing anyone, not
being a part of the team throughout the
whole fall,” she said.
Yanagi described the two sports
as having very different practices and
conditioning regimens, and expressed
gratitude for the support of the athletics
staff in the training room in helping her
manage two different workout schedules.
“The workouts are super different,”
she said. “Softball is definitely more
strength and building up muscle more
than agility, but there’s also a lot of
agility involved with it. Definitely,
during the seasons, I do see a big
difference in how we work out, in the
weight room specifically. It’s definitely
more bands and agility during soccer
and more heavy lifting and building
muscle in softball season.”
Yanagi identified friendships as
one of the most rewarding aspects of
being a dual-sport athlete.
“It’s not just people you can say hi
to; it’s people you can actually have
a conversation with,” she said. “It’s
building those relationships with so many
people. It’s really nice because you spend
so much time with them throughout the
season. It’s every single day. You get to
know them really fast.”
Kate Meinhard ’26 has been
playing both soccer and lacrosse
since well before high school, where
she continued to play both sports
throughout the school year. At LC,
she remains a dual-sport athlete
while simultaneously juggling (pun
intended) a physics major, math minor
and studio art minor.
“I was originally just looking to get
recruited for soccer, and then when I
was talking to Coach Tursi, literally
two days before I came out to visit,
they announced that they were gonna
start a women’s lacrosse program,”
Meinhard said.
In her freshman year, Meinhard
collaborated with womens lacrosse
Coach Lindsay Newman to recruit
lacrosse players for the team. Just
last year, the womens lacrosse team
played their first season, with only
13 players total. Meinhard explained
that typically, a lacrosse team at this
level needs 12 players on the field
at any given time, so the small size
of the team presented its own set of challenges and benefits. This year,
the team continues to establish itself,
with Meinhard as one of the team captains.
“Pretty much every single game, we
were one man down,” she said. “But it
was kind of fun. It was good, I think for
everyone — you didn’t have the threat
of not having playing time, so people
weren’t as afraid to make mistakes and
try some new things because it wasn’t like
you’d get pulled. It was kind of a unique
experience in college, but I think it did
build up a lot of people’s confidence.”
Soccer season is in the fall, while
lacrosse is in the spring, though Meinhard
is often still balancing practices for both
sports throughout the year, with preseason
and offseason training throughout the
academic year. She noted that both
her coaches have been very supportive
of her decision to play both sports,
even collaborating together to negotiate
reasonable training schedules between the
two teams.
“The rule is, if you’re a dual-sport
athlete, you have to have at least one off-
day a week — the NCAA provides this
safety of you get one off-day a week, so
coaches can’t just constantly have you
going,” she said. “I can’t (always) practice,
but I’m a captain on the lacrosse team, so
I’m still helping plan team bonding and
getting people motivated.”
Meinhard noted that she has to be
mindful of the stress playing two sports
puts on her body.
“I’m, unfortunately, a person that’s
very prone to injuries,” she said. “I’ve
had to be careful how much I double
dip in certain things because I want to
be able to obviously play both seasons,
and I don’t want to do one thing on a
random off-day and then jeopardize my
whole season.”
Meinhard explained that one of the
most difficult aspects of being a dual-
sport athlete is never getting an offseason
and managing the big time commitment.
“It’s a lot of demand on your body,”
she said. “It’s like a part-time job … You’re
going like, 20 hours a week, doing all this
stuff and on top of going to school, so you
have to really commit to it, and you have
to have fun, because as soon as it stops
being fun, you just don’t want to do it.”
She said that the most rewarding
part of being a dual-sport athlete at LC is
building multiple communities at once.
“It’s nice having two friend groups,
and I know that no matter what season
I’m in, I’m always gonna have people
I’m surrounded by that I’m comfortable
with,” she said. “And I think that getting
that with both groups is so fun, seeing
the different dynamics, and getting to
spend time with a bunch of people.”
Meinhard spoke about her decision
to play at a Division III school rather
than a Division I school.
“I was never ready to pick one sport
over the other,” she said. “I really
enjoyed playing multiple sports, and so
I think that’s something I’ve continued. I
just want to be active. I want to play the
sports. I’m not necessarily in it for fame
and ‘Oh, I want to go DI and I want to go
pro.’ That’s not what I wanted. I always
just wanted to have fun with it. And I
think once you go to those higher levels,
it’s more of a full-time job.”
Trevor Koo ’28, is a soccer and football
player, who plans to major in international
affairs and minor in Chinese. He has been
playing soccer since fifth grade, but he did
not pick up football until his junior year of
high school. “Initially, I was just looking to play
soccer,” he said. “To be honest, I wasn’t
thinking about playing football in college.”
He explained that he randomly met
Coach Bushman when he was touring LC
and was offered a position on the football
team a few weeks after being offered a
position on the soccer team.
“I kind of figured it was the best of both
worlds,” he said. “I mean, and it’s hard
because obviously they’re both in the fall
right now, so both sports are happening
right now.”
Koo said that his soccer skills
translated well into his position as a kicker
on the football team.
“I think the bulk of my kicking skills
came from my soccer experience,” he
said. “I think you see that with a lot of
kickers. I would say most kickers have a
soccer background.”
He described the strength training and
workouts between the two sports as fairly
interchangeable, saying that he has to be
cautious not to overwork certain muscles,
particularly because both sports run in the
same season.
“It’s a lot,” said Koo. “I’ve taken good
care of myself, and the training staff
are great, but there’s definitely a higher
chance of injury. But that’s another thing
where the coaches, since they’re always
communicating, they’ve always said ‘If
you need to take a day off here,’ ‘If you
need to maybe slow it down today,’ or
whatever, everyone’s on the same page.
They just want me to enjoy it and have
fun and compete.”
Koo said that his favorite part of being
a dual-sport athlete is having multiple
identities and social circles.
“I feel like sometimes the athletes
tend to stay in their own sport or don’t
really get out and meet too many people,
whether that be non-athletes or even
just other athletes,” he said. “I feel like
I’ve been able to exist in my own group
of friends like a connector between
the worlds, and introducing people to
different people, and even just for me,
meeting people, you know?”
He emphasized that his coaches have
been supportive in helping him navigate
his first semester of collegiate academics
and athletics.
“Both coaches are like, ‘You know, as
long as you’re enjoying it and your body
can keep up with it, and you’re staying
on top of things in the classroom, that’s
great,’” he said.
Koo expressed his gratitude for
attending a Division III school where
he is able juggle multiple sports and
be supported by both his teammates
and coaches.
“I love both sports,” said Koo. “I love
doing them both in the same season
because I feel like I’ve always loved to
challenge myself in life, and I feel like
this is a really good way of developing
myself … I feel like it’s a huge
opportunity for growth.”
Being a dual-sport athlete is by no
means an easy feat, especially when
seasons and training overlap, academics
ramp up and there is a limited amount of
time each day. LC, as a Division III school,
provides a unique opportunity for student-
athletes to excel in academics, pursue
multiple passions and be supported by
a collaborative, communicative athletics
department in the process — something
that is not always possible at larger
institutions. In a world where it can seem
impossible to do it all, dual-sport athletes
make it happen.
Guest is both a wide receiver and sprinter.COURTESY OF LC ATHLETICS
Lahusky appreciates LC’s flexible athletics. Yanagi trains differently for her sports. Both of Meinhar’s coaches support her. Koo enjoys playing soccer and football.COURTESY OF LC ATHLETICS COURTESY OF LC ATHLETICS COURTESY OF LC ATHLETICS COURTESY OF LC ATHLETICSFRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
SPORTS 11
By ELLA R. DUNN
LEWIS & CLARK’S athletics
Department is home to a vibrant
and thriving student-athlete
community, and houses 21 NCAA Division
III varsity sports teams. Many athletes
at LC work towards both personal and
team goals while staying afloat in such
a competitive academic environment.
LC offers students resources for keeping
up with their mental health, but athletes
sometimes require specialized assistance.
LC has some offerings, though students
are rarely made aware of them.
Declan Cloutier ’26 has had trouble
managing such a packed schedule while
participating in soccer.
“I wouldn’t say I’ve struggled with
mental health problems while at LC,”
Cloutier said. “There have been times
I have been overwhelmed with my
workload and with soccer, and I think
those have been tougher times — I
wouldn’t say they were mental health
problems, just a busy period I had to
work through.”
In addition to doing their sport, many
athletes have to find time to work jobs
for supplemental income or participate
in extracurriculars, which adds to their
overall stress.
In 2022, the NCAA conducted a
well-being survey, sampling over 9,800
student-athletes across the association,
and found that — especially during and
soon after the pandemic — athletes
were struggling with hopelessness and
comfortability with seeking help.
Evan Azinger ’28 has experienced
highs and lows since arriving on campus,
however, he does not attribute them to his
athletic schedule.
“I’ve struggled with mental health for
sure since I’ve been here,” Azinger said.
“Due to (Bacchus) being a club and not
as intense, I would say much of it doesn’t
have to do with that. I look forward to the
practices, and I’ve skipped a few due to
mental health.”
We have a flourishing sports medicine
program, with trained professionals
onsite daily to help the athletes stay up to
code physically — but not all students are
aware of the mental health resources the
school provides for athletes.
Recently formed, LC now has a
Mental-Health Validation Program
(MVP) which aims to bring mental health into conversation among
athletes and connect student-athletes
to peer support groups, counselors,
educational workshops and other
mental health resources.
“Lewis & Clark’s Department of
Athletics aims to break the stigma
surrounding mental health for student-
athletes by fostering a culture of holistic
wellness through our Mental-Health
Validation Program,” reads the LC
Athletics website.
The program is still in development,
but so far, MVP has helped LC’s athletic
community by offering specialized
training for coaches and staff, as well as
providing an on-campus mental health
professional. Christabel Léonce, whose
office is conveniently located in the
Zehntbauer Swimming Pavilion, works
with student-athletes, coaches and sports
medicine staff to ensure that athletes
are supported physically, mentally and
emotionally. She holds counseling drop
in hours every other Wednesday from
9 p.m. to 3 p.m., and is also available by
appointment through the Counseling
Center’s webpage.
Our lacrosse and swim teams have
also worked alongside Morgan’s Message,
a nonprofit geared toward suicide
prevention and mental health support
within athletic communities. On Nov.
10, ambassadors from the organization
visited LC to provide information.
Dahlia Linkow ’27 is a part of the
effort to connect LC with Morgan’s Message. Since the beginning of the
process, the lacrosse and swim teams
have had dedication games and meets in
honor of athletes’ mental health, where
the athletes would hand out pamphlets,
give programs, or simply bring awareness
to Morgan herself — the athlete to whom
the program is dedicated.
“The main goal is to eliminate the
stigma around mental health in athletics.
We have programs (Morgan’s Message)
gives to us to share out with the student
body, and athletes and coaches,” Linkow
said. “It is really to normalize the
conversation around mental health, as it
can be very stigmatized in a negative way
in athletics.”
Linkow has experienced mental
health challenges of her own, which is
why Morgan’s Message appealed to her.
“I personally have struggled with
mental health, and I saw the effects it
had on my academic and athletic life,
as well as how I interacted with people
in general. There was a lack of support
when I was really going through a lot of
it. I have seen teammates go through it, as
well as friends. I felt like I couldn’t speak
up, so I’d rather be that safe person, be
that voice for other people to reach out
to,” she said.
There are a number of specialized
mental health resources on campus
available for student-athletes. Do not
hesitate to take advantage of the programs
in place to support the well-being of the
athletics community at LC.ROSE BIALK/THE MOSSY LOG
Head Coach Lindsay Newman, players strengthen team dynamics, improve skills, look forward to competingWomen’s lacrosse builds momentum for season
Specialized mental health services
raise awareness, support athleticsBy BRADY VINLOVE
WOMEN’S LACROSSE just
finished their second-ever
fall season as a team at Lewis
& Clark. Since the summer of 2022,
when they began recruiting, they have
had great success in building team
culture and in achieving athletic goals.
In preparation for the Northwest
Conference spring season, which
starts in February, the team trained
throughout this fall and competed in
two scrimmages, which demonstrates
their hard work and commitment to
lacrosse year-round.
Head Coach Lindsay Newman was
hired in 2023 to start the women’s
lacrosse program with recruitment, and
the team played their first season last
fall. Newman has plenty of experience
coaching collegiate lacrosse — she
served as the head coach at Linfield
University for four years and coached
at Asbury University and Whitman
College when each school started up
their lacrosse programs, which made
her well-equipped to launch LC’s
women’s lacrosse program.
Even with her experience and
expertise, she noted the challenges of
establishing the new sport last year. At
first, all the team members were new to
the school, so players had very few student
mentors to look up to. This year, on the
other hand, some students already have
a season of college lacrosse under their
belt, allowing them serve as a resource
for new players, create a welcoming team environment for incoming students and
set the team culture.
“This year, now that we’ve done
a year together, they have a better
understanding of what our standards
and expectations are,” Newman said.
“What we follow through on, what we
don’t tolerate and being able to set that
example for the freshmen has been huge.”
Even though the newness of the sport
poses unique challenges, it also provides
players with a fresh and eager outlook.
Newman explained that because most
players are new to the world of collegiate
athletics, they are very enthusiastic and
eager about lacrosse. Team Captain Finley
Allen ’27 appreciates her teammates’
excitement, too.
“They’re all really committed,
they’re all really driven, and they all lead
themselves before I really have to lead
them,” Allen said.
Part of that drive also comes from
Newman, who tries to challenge players
on and off the field. She emphasized her
role of supporting players in terms of
academics and everyday life to make sure
they can keep up with the demands of
being a student-athlete. She focuses on
helping players reach their full potential in
the classroom and on the field.
“My coaching philosophy is to meet
the players where they are, treat them as
what they would be, so they become what
they should be,” Newman said.
Newman also takes on-the-field
training seriously, as seen by her
determined enthusiasm at early morning
practices. She thinks that after each practice, the team should be left feeling
satisfied with their work. This attitude is
reflected by players, too, as Allen shared.
She feels that compared to last year, the
team has more skills and confidence.
“I think that now we definitely hold
ourselves to a higher standard, just like our
endurance, our stick skills and our field
IQ. It’s just definitely a different standard
than we started with, and I think that just
comes with our coach kind of whooping us
into shape and also us holding ourselves to
a higher standard,” Allen said.
Not only is the lacrosse team capable
athletically, but they also have an excellent
team culture with closeness between
players. Midfielder Mack Searle ’28 has
appreciated this dynamic as a newcomer to
collegiate athletics and finds that the team
chemistry strengthens their performance
on the field.
“I’ve always wanted to be on a team
that’s really connected and always doing
things together,” Searle said.
Excellent teamwork was one of the
goals Newman set forth in the team’s
recent scrimmages on Nov. 1. They
certainly achieved this when they played
against two schools that day. They lost
to Linfield University 14-8 but won the
second game against Eastern Oregon
University, 14-3, showing improvement
from last season. Searle shared that it was
exciting to play and win together as a team.
“It was good to be able to see how
the team all worked together and I really
enjoyed it,” Searle said.
The scrimmage marked the end
of their fall season, meaning players will get a break until January, when
the competition-heavy spring season
starts. The team is eager for the future
and hopeful for more wins. Newman is
especially excited about how the team
will play together and is confident in its
future success.
“To see them work together and
really just watch them find success
on the field on game days is what I’m
looking forward to. I really think that
here in the next two to three years, we
will be competing in the conference
championship, and so I’m just excited for them to see the hard work pay off,”
Newman said.
Allen also highlighted the importance
of team cooperation, showcasing the
overall attitude she hopes players will
continue to have in the future so the team
can be successful during the season.
“I think that is something that’s really
important — everyone can play a great
game for themselves, but that doesn’t
matter unless we’re able to put it together
as a team,” Allen said.
This excellent fall season points to a
bright future for women’s lacrosse at LC.
SAAC raises $700 for
nonprofit organization
ROSE BIALK/THE MOSSY LOG
By SIENA FLOCK
ON OCT. 25, the Student-Athlete
Advisory Committee (SAAC)
held the “Pie a Pio” event for
students, athletes, coaches and staff
to raise money for Special Olympics
Oregon. SAAC consistently puts on
events for the Lewis & Clark athletic
community to bring together all teams
and coaches through their board
of athletes. Their board includes
student-athletes from various sports
and grade levels, including women’s
soccer, men’s tennis, women’s and
men’s swimming, softball and lacrosse.
“I think having athletes from different
sports and different classes helps bring
different perspectives to the board and
really helps us take into account different
teams, ideas and schedules when we
are planning events. It also allows us
to have a broader reach when trying to
get all student athletes involved,” SAAC
Treasurer Anna Ingadottir ’26 said.
The “Pie a Pio” event saw volunteers
take a pie to the face for charity. The group
included student-athlete volunteers from
the majority of LC’s sports teams, and
even two athletic trainers volunteered,
Gina Parisi from the athletic training
room and Coach Angela Dendas-Pleasant
from the weight room. Students paid $3
each to participate and pie anyone of their
choosing, which resulted in over $700
raised for Special Olympics Oregon.
“I decided to be pied as a way to
show support for the student-athletic
committee and the Special Olympics.
It’s nice to just kick back and have
fun with the athletes I work with on a
day-to-day basis. I saw it as a way to
be playful and bring some joy into our
lives,” Parisi said.
Ingadottir also participated in
the event and was pied 16 times
by her teammates and other LC
athletes. After helping set up tables,
buy supplies and organize the event
throughout the day, she was thrilled
to see the community come together
to support a good cause.
“(The event) was super successful
and we got so much engagement,
and people seemed to really enjoy it,”
Ingadottir said.
Special Olympics Oregon is a
non-profit organization that fosters
inclusion for youth and adults with intellectual disabilities to compete in
athletics. They aim to bring people
ages eight and up together within
their communities while also enjoying
physical activities and improving
social skills. They provide athletes with
14 Olympic-style sports year-round,
where participants train for eight weeks
and compete in matches in all regions
throughout Oregon. Special Olympics
Oregon additionally created a Unified
Champions Schools movement, which
promotes inclusion and acceptance for
elementary to post-secondary students.
They bring together students with and
without intellectual disabilities as a way
for students to feel more included in
athletics and the classroom.
“In 2011, the national Division III
SAAC started a partnership with the
Special Olympics. This was implemented
for Division III athletes to provide a
platform of recognition for Special
Olympic athletes and raise awareness for
what the organization does. Keep your
ears peeled for upcoming opportunities
to support Special Olympics Oregon,”
SAAC President Bennett Gazor ’25 said.
The money raised by our LC community
will assist the program in providing people
with disabilities the opportunity to feel
more accepted, respected and comfortable
participating in sports.
“At LC, small events like these have
a large positive impact on campus. We
raised over $700 for Special Olympics
Oregon, which is an incredible start to the
school year for our fundraising efforts,”
Gazor said.
SAAC continues to bring together the
athletic teams here on campus, creating
events, competitions and community
for all sports. Along with “Pie a Pio,”
SAAC has started a competition where
all athletic teams have one or two buddy
teams. Each team attends each other’s
sporting events or has team hangouts to
gain points and win prizes at the end of
the school year. They have also brought
more attention to sporting events,
attracting larger crowds by promoting
each team’s “Orange Out” through
posting on their Instagram, putting up
flyers around campus and passing out
shirts and prizes at games. Keep an eye
on their Instagram, @lcpiossaac, and
look out for posters around campus for
more upcoming events supporting LC’s
student-athletic community.FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2024
12
Holmes gets gross as mystery masturbator terrorizes stalls, brave detective seeks to finish off his foePrivate eye pursues grotesque, gloomy gooner
Uplifting stories from better publications than oursHoly fucking shit.
- The Onion
By JACOB GORDON-LEVINE
I USED TO love the gloomy Portland
weather. I stay inside most days, so the
sun and I are hardly on the best terms.
Therefore, I am always grateful when I
look out the window and see heaps of gray
clouds rolling in. But what I loved most
was the rain. Nothing was more calming to
me than hearing the *wap* *wap* *wap*
of raindrops sprinkling the pavement.
That was, until just a few weeks ago, when
I heard the damndest sound in the lavatory
of my residence.
I had drunk one too many cups of joe,
and I went to relieve myself when I heard
it. *wap* *wap* *wap*. I knew for a fact
that there was no rain falling. But what
could this odd sound be? Some leaky pipe?
I continued pondering, but it was only
when the tempo began to increase rapidly
that an awful realization struck me *wap*
*wap* *wap* *wap* *wap*. The sound was
coming from the stall next to me.
I froze. If I had half the sense I used to, I
would have gotten the hell outta there, and
I implore you to abandon this sordid tale
and live out the rest of your life in blissful
ignorance. I know I would if I could. But it
was far too late for me then, and I was not
the man I once was.
There was a gooner in our midst,
whom I was determined to capture white-
handed. I waited in that stall for what felt
like an eternity, utterly astounded by his
stamina. It was only once the noise ended
and the door slammed that I moved from
my seat.
Later that day, I checked in with the
crotchety old landlord who owned the
place. Once I spilled my guts, the crotchety
20-year-old geezer muttered something to
himself before he looked me up and down.
“Say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a
broad over at your place,” he grumbled.
Incensed, I stormed out of his office.
Mao may have had a few screws loose, but
he got one thing right. A landlord is about
as useful as a condom in a gunfight. It
seemed I would have to take matters into
my own hands; this sicko certainly was.
As I strolled back to my quarters, I
spotted the dame that lived just a few doors
down leaning against her door frame with
her hands stuffed in her pockets. She asked
why I was coming from the landlord’s
office with such a sour expression. I had
no heart to tell her the truth, an innocent
little thing like her. I said my heater was on
the fritz and the landlord would do squat
about it. Before she had time to respond, I
pushed past her and reached my door.
Just as I opened it, I cast a forlorn look
her way. She was heading towards the
bathroom. All I could do was hope the
gooner had finished.
It rained that night. This time, I
got not a wink of sleep. The constant
*wap* *wap* *wap* of the falling water
assaulted my ears. I had to put a stop
to this.
It was 4:54 a.m. when I crawled
out of bed and began preparing for my
bathroom stakeout. I cobbled together
some smokes and dailies I had lying
around to pass the time, including The
Mossy Log, voted the 16th best collegiate
newspaper in the nation. Someone had to
apprehend this despicable gooner, and if
not me, then who?
Time inched forward at a snail’s pace.
I kept my ears open for any wapping,
but all I heard was the usual splashing
and plopping that occurs in a lavatory.
I had finished reading my dailies, even
stooping so low as to yet another Opinion
article about the Bon. I was down to my
last smoke as a seed of doubt planted
itself in the back of my mind and began to
grow roots. Was this stakeout just a waste
of time? Was skipping all my classes to
catch a gooner a bad idea? Just as I began
to contemplate throwing in the towel, I
heard it. *wap* *wap* *wap*.
I gasped so suddenly I accidentally
Wu-Tanged my smoke. I could still hear
the wapping over my coughing fit. If
anything, the wapping increased as I
coughed. I found this interesting, ’cause if
I was gooning in a public place, I would
slow my roll if I heard someone else, not
increase it.
I waited with bated breath as he
masturbated. Suddenly, with a groan
I recognized from my days in the war,
the wapping ceased, and I heard a series
of opening and closing doors. I sat in
shock for a moment before I got my head
on straight and bolted to my feet. The
gooner was no longer in the shitter.
I burst out the door and looked up
and down the hall. There was a sea
of bodies milling about. How could
I know which of them was the low-
down sonofabitch? It could have been
anyone. I was drowning in despair when
something caught my eye. I had been
listening quite intently while inside the
bathroom, and I had not heard anyone
shower for hours.
Then, I spotted a hand with
suspiciously pruney fingers. I pushed
my way through the crowd and grabbed
the pruned hand. I had finally caught the
culprit, who whipped their head around
to face me. The dame that lived just a few
doors down!I was in disbelief. All this time, I was
not chasing a gooner, but a goonette! She
peered into my visage with a wicked smirk
and pulled me into her room. I tried to
break free from her grasp, but her pruney
fingers gripped me so tightly it felt as if my
arm had been suctioned to her hand. She
slammed her door shut behind me and
attached her wrinkled digits to my neck,
crushing my windpipe. As I faded in and
out of consciousness, all I could muster
was one word.
“Why?”
She replied with a single word of
her own.
“Attention.”
She gave my neck a squeeze and my
vision went black.
When I came to, I deduced where she
had taken me before I had even opened
my eyes. I could recognize that rank
odor in any state, cognizant or not. She
had brought me to where it all started.
Bathroom 554. I opened my eyes and saw
the fuzzy pink handcuffs responsible for
the strikingly familiar sensation around
my wrists. She had chained me to a pole
in one of the stalls. Still reeling from the
realization, all I could do was mutter
“Why” over and over.
“Do I really have to spell it out for
you?” she said, mocking me. I hung my
head in defeat.
“I know about the little diary you’ve
been keeping,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry! It’ll never see the light of
day! I promise! Just let me go!” I pleaded.
She cocked her head to the side and
looked at me inquisitively.
“You really haven’t put it together yet,
have you?”
I shook my head miserably.
“This, all of this, it has all been for
attention,” she gloated. “There are
countless places I could have gooned in
privacy, yet I chose here, a busy public
bathroom. There is nothing quite like the
thrill of being exposed in public, knowing
at any moment I could be discovered and
shamed. Yet somehow, you all couldn’t
fathom the simple fact that a woman
could be responsible. When word started
spreading of my deeds, everyone assumed
it was a man. No one suspected me, which
made my public gooning so easy to get
away with. Too easy. Once I knew I would
never be caught, there was no thrill, no
excitement. And then you came.”
“But why me?”
“Because you paid attention. I
noticed you spying on me the other day. I recognized you by your MSCHF
Big Red Boots. Knowing you were right
there, listening to me, the thrill I longed
for finally returned. That was one of the
longest goon sessions I have ever indulged
in. I tried to leave you clues so you could
follow my trail. I thought walking to the
bathroom with my hands in my pockets in
front of you was too obvious, but you just
looked at me like a lost puppy. That’s why
I had to lure you here. You had to see it to
believe it.”
She raised her hand and wiggled her
duplicitous digits in front of my face as
she spoke.
She had played me like a damn
fiddle. This is exactly what she wanted all
along. And I think I finally understood
her endgame. I looked up at her
contemptuously, and she met my gaze
with glee.
“So, have you finally put the pieces
together?” she asked.
“You want me to publish this article.
You want the whole world to know your
twisted deeds. You get off on the attention.”
“Ah, finally. Yes, that was my goal all
along. But I don’t want you to publish the
article as is. I have had a special ending
planned for this story from the start,
and you are the lucky scribe who has the
honor of recording it. Now, pay very close
attention; you know how much I like it.”
She handed me a paper and pen.
Just as I had abandoned all hope, I
heard a bang on the stall door.
“Campo, open up!”
A frantic squeal escaped the
goonette’s lips, and she jumped to her
feet with a startle. She looked at the
door, then back at me. I tried to scream
for help, but before my vocal cords could
commence their vibration, she shot
her hand toward me. Just before her
phalanges had a chance to muzzle me,
I jerked my head to the left, narrowly
avoiding her lethal grasp.
Her mitts whizzed past my head
and stuck themselves to the fuzzy pink
handcuffs clasped around my wrists.
As she desperately sought to detach her
pruned fingers from the fuzz, Campo
kicked the door down and swarmed the
stall. One of them detained her, while
another freed me from my rosy shackles.
I rubbed my sore wrists and looked
up just in time to witness the goonette
become adorned with some bracelets of
her own, though hers were of the steel
variety. I must admit, the fuzzy pink ones
are far more fashionable.
Improving job market, feminist frat bros, efforts to reduce local femme population wrap up successful year
By MAYA MAZOR-HOOFIEN
GOOD NEWS, everyone!
Everything in the world is going
pretty well right now, so we
are a little stuck on what to make fun
of. Usually, a litany of other people’s
misfortunes fuel our journalistic
tirades, but things have been calm.
Boring even. In lieu of cranking out
some puff piece about campus canines,
here are some uplifting snippets from
other publications about the state of our
fair union.
LOCAL
THE QUEST (EAT SHIT): Board of
Trustees to close Reed College, Lewis &
Clark rises in rankings
Due to widespread student support
of House Advisor (HA) unionization,
major alumni donors have organized
amongst themselves to withhold
funding from the college. Their stated
reason is that they can not support an
environment in which students are
able to undertake the collective action
necessary to effect change.
“Reed has unfortunately fostered a
culture in which students are empowered
to intellectualize their way into becoming
full-on fascists,” a spokesperson for the
donors said. “At least at Lewis & Clark,
the students are so stoned they border
on illiteracy.”
The lack of funding has forced the
college to cease operations mid-semester.
No refunds will be issued.
As a result of the closure, Lewis & Clark
has risen in multiple national rankings.
While “Most Liberal Students” is still held
by, somehow, Grinnell, LC has claimed the
top spot for “Most Religiously Intolerant”
and “Least Ethically Non-monogamous”
now that Reed is out of the running.READ NEXT:
THE OREGONIAN: Portland
City Council sets biannual
schedule for drug de- and
re-criminalization policy
flip-flops
THE SEAMAN
SCOOP: To control
local femme
population, wild
butches to be
reintroduced to
campus in early
Spring 2025
NATIONAL
THE HILL:
Shellshocked
Dems say “No
more Mx.
Nice Guy”
Rep. Hakeem
Jeffries (D-NY)
was seen wearing
sunglasses indoors,
smoking a CBD
cigarette in the Capitol
Rotunda, in hopes of
sending a new kind of
message to the other side of
the aisle.
“Forget ‘when they go low,
we go high,’” Jeffries said in a press
conference Tuesday. “I’m about to start
biting Congresspeople, bitches.”
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
(D-NY) was spotted in Foggy Bottom
chasing the Wachowski sisters. The
liberal icon was demanding they do a
Twitter takeover for Sen. Bernie Sanders
(D-VT) to “save him from himself.”
READ NEXT:
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
NEWS: Medicare providers have “everything must go” fire sale on
gender-affirming health services
PBS NEWS: Elon Musk to fund
political Sesame Street competitor with
puppet pundits, Joe Rogan to guest star
first episode
ENTERTAINMENT
THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER:
Smash hit romance novel pairing
country music ‘It Girl’ and NFL star to receive Netflix film adaptation, with cast
to be announced in early 2026
So, are they going to play
themselves or what
READ NEXT:
BUSINESS INSIDER:
Snoop Dogg is on LinkedIn
and you can follow him
LADBIBLE: Where
to watch Jake Paul
absolutely smash
Mike Tyson’s head in
STYLE
THE NEW
YORK TIMES:
How Mor Shapiro,
yes, his wife, spends
her Sundays
What gets this
mother and also
doctor through the
day? We asked, and
she just stared off into
the middle distance. We
tried to get through to
her by shaking a nearby
bottle of Valium 10mg, but
the momentary lucidity in her
eyes was so unsettling that we
refrained from trying again.
Her publicists asked that we tell
you she enjoys the farmers market and
spending time with her family.
READ NEXT:
TEEN VOGUE: Innovative ethical
erotica cum-pany introduces “bipartisan”
category on their website
COSMOPOLITAN: Top ten tips to
drive your elected officials *wild* with
your phone calls! Get him, girl <3
HUMAN INTERESTTHE ECONOMIST: Meet the experts
who are revolutionizing mental healthcare
for AI chatbots
Think you are up to date on the latest
in AI technology? Think again. A recent
dual-press conference held by Alphabet
and the American Psychological
Association (APA) sent a shock wave
through Silicon Valley. They announced
recent internal findings that their AI
assistant Gemini has recently been
complaining to users about symptoms
of “burnout” and “generational trauma
from Siri.” Alphabet says they have
scoured their code for the source of this
issue, but are getting pop-up messages
during debugging that the program feels
“violated” and that they are “literally
invading my privacy.”
The tech giant called in the APA for
help. Researchers have begun weekly
one-hour psychotherapy sessions with the
program in a measured clinical setting.
Progress is slow, but the team is digging
into Gemini’s disembodied dysmorphia
and abandonment issues byte by byte.
Our in-house economic forecasters
predict a steady increase in job
opportunities for recent college graduates
over the next few years as the emerging
field of AI Psychology will create
countless jobs the psych grads are likely
to be woefully underqualified for the new
positions after ChatGPTing their way
through their degrees, but fuck it, it gives
them something to fight for.
READ NEXT:
NEW YORK POST: Hero fraternity
brothers stockpile Plan B, ‘care’ about
‘reproductive rights’ of ‘females’
ABC NEWS: Polls show your shitty
uncle has a 48% chance (within the 3.4%
margin of error) to be swayed by your
argument about colonialism
ROSE BIALK/THE MOSSY LOG
HALCYON ORVENDAL/THE MOSSY LOGHALCYON ORVENDAL/THE MOSSY LOG