Lewis & Clark College

The Pioneer Log: Lewis & Clark College’s Student-Run Newspaper

Volume 102, No. 5

Lewis & Clark College Student Newspaper

Pioneer Log Staff

2024-04-05

text/pdf

Text; Newspaper

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Lewis & Clark College: Pioneer Log / Mossy Log

By CAROLINE DREW
OREGON IS home to many
stunning geological features and
a vast array of ecological beauty.
From the rocky coastline to the peak of
Mount Hood, the slopes of the dunes,
the depths of the Columbia River Gorge
and Crater Lake to all the old-growth
forest in between, there are miles upon
miles of breathtaking views and unique
ecosystems to explore. However, in
southeastern Oregon, not too far from
the Idaho border lies the Owyhee
Canyonlands, considered one of Oregon’s
hidden gems.
The Owyhee Canyonlands spans
nearly two million acres of this
southeastern corner. Coated in sagebrush
and blooming with wildflowers, the
canyon’s breathtaking landscape
is unlike any other in Oregon. The
community surrounding the Owyhee
has ignited a movement to protect
and preserve the wild and agricultural
bounty of the canyonlands.
Nearly 200 wildlife species have
made their homes alongside the Owyhee
River, in the jagged outcroppings and
among the stunning canyon walls. The
ecosystem is home to one of the largest
herds of California Bighorn Sheep,
the at-risk Greater sage grouse and 28
plant species found nowhere else in the
world. Above the high desert stretches
a sky that has been granted Gold-Tier International Dark Sky Park status,
recognizing the Canyonlands as one of
the best places to see the stars in the
lower 48 states.
The Owyhee region has long been
home to a varied community that lives in
tandem with the land’s natural resources.
According to the Oregon National
Desert Association (ONDA), the canyons
have shaped the Indigenous cultures
of the Northern Paiute, Bannock and
Shoshone tribes. The river and valleys
have also served as a meeting place for
Columbia Plateau and Snake River Plain
tribes, playing a critical role in tribal
traditions and hunting and gathering
practices throughout the region. Over
500 archaeological sites throughout the
Owyhee hold physical reminders of the
area’s history. Wagon roads from the
1800s and the remaining buildings of
Birch Creek Historic Ranch are traces of
the Basque herders and ranchers who
later moved into the area.
The Burns-Paiute and Shoshone
Tribes remain active participants in
the Owyhee landscape. Ranchers have
made their homes in the grassy plains
and fisherpeople travel near and far to
take advantage of the Owyhee River’s
pristine conditions.
In 2015, concerns about the future of
the Owyhee Canyon began to circulate
in the environmentalist community.
From their nearby headquarters in Bend,
ONDA proposed designating nearly 2.5 million acres of Canyonlands in Malheur
County as a National Monument.
Portland-based footwear brand Keen
supported the movement, propelling it
into the local spotlight.
The ranching community living on
and near the Owyhee Canyon was quick
to express their disdain for the idea.
Local leaders put the issue to a vote, and
nearly 90% of Malheur County citizens who participated in the vote were against
the monument designation.
Steve Russel, who helped found the
Owyhee Basin Stewardship Coalition
(OBSC) in 2016 and continues to serve
as their chairman, was quoted in the
Statesman Journal after the vote.
“Now that the people of Malheur
County have spoken loudly and clearly
against a 2.5 million acre federal monument, it’s time for Gov. Brown and
our U.S. senators to speak out against it as
well,” said Russel.
Statesman Journal also spoke
with Elias Eiguren, a fifth-generation
cattleman living and working on the
land surrounding the Owyhee Canyon,
who serves as the treasurer of the OBSC.
“MALHEUR” continued on page 3.Vol. 102 No. 5 FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024 www.piolog.com
Spring in Portland
After a few nice days at the
beginning of the week, we are back
to being under the gloom of clouds
— the weather’s ultimate April
Fools’ joke. It will be rainy for the
next few days, with warmer weather
coming mid-next week. OPINION
Media literacy
Were the curtains ever just blue? Is it up
to the authors speak their intentions or
is it up to the audience?
PAGE 8FEATURES
Movie theater review
Variety of local theaters offer myriad
film and culinary experiences for the
intrepid Portlander.
PAGE 7ARTS
New Bas album
Dreamville rapper Bas performed
his new album and classic hits at the
Roseland Theater last month.
PAGE 4SPORTS
March madness
Clueless about college basketball? With
March Madness coming to a close, learn
more about the NCAA tournament.
PAGE 11
By EMMA AMBROZIAK
ON THE EVENING of April 2,
students and faculty alike crowded
into the Agnes Flanagan Chapel
for an event organized by the Prison
Abolition Club (PAC) to kickstart the
Third Annual Transformative Action &
Abolition Symposium. This year’s theme,
“Regroup and Restore,” addressed
activist burnout, long-term advocacy
and sustainable forms of commitment
to social change. Dr. Angela Davis, a
renowned civil rights activist, advocate
of prison abolition and former member
of the Black Panther Party visited Lewis
& Clark for the fourth time in the past 50
years to speak at the symposium.
The event, titled “A Conversation
with Angela Davis,” explored a number
of thought-provoking questions
that were passed in on notecards by
students in attendance.
Davis, who is recognized
internationally for her activism and
scholarship, rose to national fame
in 1969 after being fired from her
position as a professor at the University
of California, Los Angeles for her
involvement in the Communist Party,
though she was eventually reinstated.
In 1970, she was placed on the FBI’s
Ten Most Wanted List, went into hiding
and was arrested under false charges of
kidnapping and murder.
Over the course of her 18-month
incarceration, she became the subject
of an international campaign entitled
“Free Angela Davis.” Her imprisonment
garnered mass political and cultural
attention and contributed to a growing global movement against political
violence and the prison-industrial
complex. Public figures, artists and
organizers mobilized in support of her
release, including John Lennon and
Yoko Ono, who wrote “Angela,” and the
Rolling Stones, who wrote “Sweet Black
Angel,” each in 1972.
To this day, she continues to
advocate for prison abolition, the
dismantling of oppressive political and social institutions, anti-war efforts and
LGBTQ+ rights, among many other
anti-racist and anti-capitalist causes.
She holds the title of Distinguished
Professor Emerita in the Humanity
Division at the University of California,
Santa Cruz.
LC has previously invited
Professor Davis to speak on three
different occasions: In 1981, she
opened for a forum on “Education and the Struggle Against Racism;” in
1984 she presented on “Equality and
Quality: Obtainable Goals of the U.S.
Educational System” and in 2001 she
gave the keynote address at the 20th
Annual Gender Symposium.
Natalie Connelly ’26, chair of PAC
and co-chair of the Transformative
Action & Abolition Symposium,
introduced and moderated the event,
beginning with a land acknowledgment. LC Dean of Equity & Inclusion
Danielle Torres, spoke to the many
accomplishments and ever-evolving
impact of Davis’ work throughout the
years. She expressed her personal
admiration and gratitude for Davis’
willingness to contribute her knowledge
and expertise to the LC community
once again and share her wide-ranging
perspective with today’s students.
“The work of a true revolutionary
is nuanced, courageous, deep, complex
and wide,” said Torres.
Connelly welcomed Davis to the
stage for a thoughtful discussion.
Davis shared that she was
impressed by the extent of social
change she has witnessed in her
lifetime, recalling that, back during
the Freedom Movement, commonly
known as the Civil Rights Movement,
she and her fellow participants did not
expect to see the fruits of their labor
within their lifetimes.
“How would I have responded
thirty years ago if someone had told
me there was a prison abolition
club at Lewis & Clark?” asked Davis,
chuckling to herself. “I’m kind of
amazed at that.”
The first question from the
audience asked what young activists
misunderstand most about her work.
“The fact that so many things are
attributed to me as an individual,”
responded Davis. “It’s all about
attempting to create more space for
love, happiness … It’s all about creating
a new world.”
“CONVERSATION” continued on page 3.Distinguished Professor Emerita speaks at Third Annual Transformative Action and Abolition Symposium
Conflicting priorites between ranchers, ONDA lead to heated debates on whether to designate monument
COURTESY OF OREGON NATIONAL DESERT ASSOCIATIONEMMA FORD/THE MOSSY LOG
Rich with archaeological history, the biodiverse plains of southeastern Oregon are of immense importance to Indigenous cultures.Angela Davis presents on past activism work
Battle for protection of Owyhee Canyonlands escalates
COURTESY OF CALIFORNIA STATE FULLERTON
Angela Davis held a conversation moderated by Natalie Connelly ’26, speaking about her critiques of systems of punishments. FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
NEWS 2
ACLU challenges proposed changes, citing lack of transparency, misleading language, ambiguityPortland schools brace for large budget cuts
New ballot initiative deteriorates police accountability
By LILLIAN SMALL
ON MARCH 1, William Aitchison,
a lawyer representing the
Portland Police Association
(PPA) filed a ballot initiative,
PDX24OL-03, that would make
major changes to a previously
approved measure surrounding police
accountability.
In 2020, 82% of Portland voters
approved Ballot Measure 26-217,
a measure that would create an
independent, civilian-run Community
Board for Police Accountability
beginning in 2025. Before the initiative,
law enforcement accountability was
overseen by the city agency Independent
Police Review (IRP).
Critics of IRP cited weakness for
holding police accountable, as well as
a lack of transparency with the public
based on current laws around police
investigation. Under IRP, the police
union could also appeal decisions made,
rendering many attempts to hold law
enforcement liable useless.
The initiative aimed to solve the
issues seen under IRP in several ways,
including increasing the budget from
$2.8 million to $11 million per year,
signifying a minimum of 5% of the Police
Bureau’s budget. Board members would
also wield more power, with domain over investigating all deaths in custody,
uses of deadly force, complaints of force
causing injury, discrimination against
protected classes and constitutional
rights violations. Additionally, law
enforcement and immediate family
members of law enforcement would be
barred from serving on the Community
Board.
The PPA’s new ballot initiative
would drastically shift the nature of
the original ballot, removing many of
its initial demands and reverting the
final authority of disciplinary action
to the Chief of Police. It eliminates the
funding requirement to be at least 5% of
the Police Bureau budget, and places all
fiscal management to the City Council.
According to PPA’s new ballot initiative,
members and family members of law
enforcement would be able to serve on
the board.
The PPA ballot measure would alter
the primary goals of the community
board to “review and recommend
improvements to recruiting, retaining,
and training efforts by the Portland
Police Bureau,” rather than fulfill its
initial purpose of police accountability.
The PPA argues that the current plan
for the community board would create
a bias against police officers. Aaron
Schmautz, the head of the Portland
Police Association, emphasizes the importance of final decisions being
authorized by the chief of police.
“The chief is responsive to the elected
officials and has experience in law
enforcement, understands the laws and
the rules and the regulations, (should)
make that decision,” said Schmautz in
an interview for Willamette Week.
In response to the police union’s
ballot initiative, the American Civil
Liberties Union (ACLU) of Oregon
filed a ballot title challenge on March
12. They will challenge the ballot in
the Multnomah County Court, arguing
that the title and overall language of
the measure is misleading and does
not accurately characterize the changes
it is making.
“All portions of the ballot title are
insufficient or unfair because they
fail to inform the voters about, or
materially downplay, the significant repeals of existing Board authority that
the Initiative would effectuate,” the
ACLU’s filing states.
Reverend Dr. LeRoy Haynes Jr., the
chair of the Albina Ministerial Alliance
Coalition for Justice and Police Reform,
is the primary petitioner of the ballot
and issued a statement emphasizing
the potential impacts of a regression in
police accountability.
“This is both a moral and legal
fight for the African-American
community, communities of color
and progressive people who desire
to have both justice and public
safety,” said Haynes in his statement
for the ACLU petition. “The Albina
Ministerial Alliance Coalition for
Justice and Police Reform has
been working toward a vision of
independent, community-led police
accountability and oversight since Portland police killed Kendra James
in 2003. It is a deep moral injury
to be at the moment of being ready
to implement that vision just to
have the police union try to bring a
counterfeit proposal to replace it. I
hope that this ballot title challenge
lays bare exactly what the police
union is doing here — undermining
community and accountability.”
The backers of PDX24OL-03 will
have to secure 40,748 signatures to
get the measure on the 2024 ballot
in November, where Portland voters
will get to decide the direction of the
accountability board.
If you would like to potentially
vote on this ballot and other Portland
measures, you can register to vote on
the Oregon secretary of state website,
where there are several online and
paper options available. By AVA FRISON
PORTLAND Public Schools (PPS)
are facing major budget cuts for
the 2024-2025 school year. The
cuts were announced in late February
and a finalized version of the PPS
budget is set to be released in late April.
These budget cuts have drawn swift
backlash from staff and parents as
the $30 million cuts are sure to affect
students in the classrooms of the 86
schools that make up the PPS system.
“This means that over the next few
years we will experience a reduction
in staff, programs and services both
in the central office and in schools.
There is no way that we’ll not feel the
impact of this situation,” PPS Interim
Superintendent Sandy Husk said in a
work session held on Feb. 20.
The district claims that these cuts
are due to increasing costs of labor,
inflation, low enrollment and a lack of
government funding from Oregon.
“The district blames the rising
costs of labor, decreased enrollment,
increased student needs and what it
describes as insufficient investment
by Oregon in K-12 schools,” a news
segment by Fox 12 Oregon reported.
The cuts will come from two
places: $15 million from the central
offices of the district and $15 million
from school-based operations.
While PPS has not said that teachers
will be laid off, they have told the
Portland Association of Teachers (PAT)
that there will be staff cuts in the central
offices. Many of those staff members
are “student-facing,” meaning that they
work directly with students, though not
at one particular school.
“Out of the proposed non-management,
central office cuts, PAT members were told that 146 full-time positions — which
are up for cuts or reductions — are
student-facing. Another 25 are ‘possibly’
student-facing,” an article from Oregon
Public Broadcasting (OPB) stated.
Many of these staff members
provide individualized care to students
in need of accommodations, such as
feeding teams, behavior specialists
and analysts. That means that these
students will be disproportionately
affected by these budget cuts.
“These are out of the estimated 222
total full-time equivalents proposed
central office cuts — nearly 150 are
special education professionals,” OPB
reported on Mar. 6.
Several staff members who are
student-facing have already been
informed that their positions have been
either cut or changed before the final
budget has been approved.
Allisa Pollard, an occupational
therapist within the district, was one
of the staff members whose position
was cut, as she was “unassigned.” At
a school board meeting, Pollard spoke
against the budget cuts.
“Pollard told the school board
the cuts would directly impact
employees’ abilities to implement
free and appropriate public education
for all students, which is required
by federal law,” OPB said. “She
similarly criticized cuts to programs
that provide technological assistance
and specialized physical education to
students with disabilities.”
Students without individualized
learning needs or disabilities will see
changes in their classrooms as well.
These could mean larger class sizes or
cuts to library, art and physical education
programs.
These cuts come on the heels of the Portland teacher strike, which concluded
in November 2023, and was historic for
lasting three weeks and shutting down
schools for 11 days. A contract agreement
was reached at the end of negotiations.
“The new contract — ratified by
union members and passed by the
school board Tuesday — will cost about
$175 million over the next three years,”
a Nov. 29 OPB article said.
Now, PPS is looking to make cuts,
as this increase in spending is tens of
millions over what was budgeted for
the next few years.
“District officials in the fall
projected roughly $130 million in
cuts over the life of the teachers’ new
contract — $10 million from this year’s
budget, $41 million in the spring cycle
for next year’s budget and $79 million
in the third year,” OPB stated in the
same article.
However, ratifying a contract
that “we cannot afford,” according to
Andrew Scott, a school board member
for PPS in the OPB article, may not be
at the center of the problem.
“We cannot afford it because the
governor and legislature have failed to
adequately fund education in Oregon.
Full stop,” Scott continued.
In fact, the Oregon government
has come under fire for falling behind
in education nationally. Oregon
Live reports that according to a
study done by Harvard and Stanford
researchers, Oregon failed to make up
for pandemic-related learning losses.
“Unlike in the 29 other states
studied, Oregon students as a whole
have failed to regain either reading
or math skills, researchers found,”
Oregon Live said.
This deficit is prevalent despite the $1.6
billion given in federal aid for pandemic relief to Oregon’s 197 school districts,
which will run out by next school year.
Oregon particularly falls behind
in providing quality education for
individuals with functional needs or
disabilities. Jay Buno, chief of student
support services, explained at the
school board meeting that Oregon
caps funding for individualized needs,
accommodations or education plans.
“Oregon gives districts money for
students with special needs based on
a weighted enrollment formula, but
it caps available funding at 11% of
the student body, a limit that doesn’t
exist in most states. More than 7,400
Portland students are enrolled in special
education this year — about 16.5% of the
total student population,” OPB reported.
The reason these programs will
particularly be affected by the cuts is
that without governmental funding, PPS will have to bear something Buno
argues is unsustainable.
“Any additional investment in
special education at this time without
additional funding from the state will
result in a cut to other essential services
provided to students in PPS,” he said at
the work session.
Furthermore, PPS is not the only
district to have to make cuts for the
upcoming school year. The Salem-Keizer
school district is in the middle of trying
to cut $70 million from their budget,
with only $30 million in cuts currently
planned. The PPS budget will be finalized
by late April or early May. There has been
much controversy surrounding these
cuts, with many pointing to systemic
education issues as well as the decrease in
support to students these cuts will bring,
something that has already been lacking
in education nationwide.Oregon government faces backlash from staff, parents for insufficient funding, poor post-pandemic recovery
COURTESY OF WILLAMETTE WEEK
Woman surrounded by protestors and civilians confronts officers at a riot in 2019.
COURTESY OF OREGON LIVE
The civilian-run Community Board’s primary goal is to review the Portland Police Bureau’s recruitment, retention and training.
EMMA AMBROZIAK/THE MOSSY LOG
Educators picket outside PPS District Headquarters in support of teacher strike.NEWS 3FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
Continued from page 1.
Davis discussed the interconnectedness
of all social movements and forms
of oppression and the longstanding
existence of abolitionist movements.
“Prison abolition coincides with
the emergence of prison itself,” said
Davis, before briefly touching on
the emergence and evolution of the
modern prison system. “The Quakers
themselves invented the penitentiary
… The Quakers thought that if you give
people the opportunity to reflect on
what they’ve done, to live a quiet life,
they would be reshaped.”
She mentioned Charles Dickens as an
early figure who questioned the function
of solitary confinement in rehabilitating
society and preventing crime.
Connelly mistakenly prefaced a
question about civic engagement and
voter abstention with the remark that
Davis had endorsed Joe Biden for the
2024 presidential election. “I did?”
Davis responded, chuckling. Davis
gently corrected Connelly, detailing
how she urges voters to vote against
the Republican candidate, who Davis
refused to name.
Davis then noted the importance
of elections and voting in paving the
way for more diverse leaders in the
future, again emphasizing that she
does not support the current president
and has not, nor ever would, endorse
candidates of either of the two major
political parties.
“I do believe that elections are
meaningful, not in the way that they are
representative, (but in the) broadening
of the terrain,” shared Davis. “Because
it may help us create more space for
the kind of radical activism that really
brings about change in the world.”
Another student’s question led to
a conversation about ethics, values,
consistency and reckoning with oneself.
Davis shared a past experience in which
she grappled with the loss of a close
friend who was killed in the midst of
a petty crime. During this time, Davis
explained how this experience made
her question her beliefs surrounding
the death penalty up to that point and
reflect on her anger towards the person
who committed the crime. While she is
opposed to the death penalty, she had
to reckon with her own emotions due to
her personal loss. “The ethic of abolition really helps us
to recognize the extent to which we are
part of something larger … Our emotions
are not even our own,” said Davis.
Connelly shared an example of how
she approaches the daily practice of
prison abolition within her own life and
as a leader in PAC. She connected the
significance of conflict resolution skills
in one’s personal life to one’s ability to
engage in meaningful and productive
conversations on a larger scale.
Davis agreed on the importance
of humanity and social connection in
fostering societal growth. She noted the
absurdity of isolation as a tenet of the
prison-industrial complex when, in an
ideal world, people who have committed
crimes are given the opportunity to
engage with their community, with art,
with literature and with outlets to find
meaning in the world.
“We tend to imagine these
institutions abstractly,” she said. “We
need to open all the prison gates and
let them out … The overwhelming result
would probably be that large numbers of
incarcerated people would be given the
opportunity to work on the problems in
the so-called ‘free world.’”
Davis described an example of how
to solve a problem without relying on a
legal system or pre-established systems
of punishment in response to crimes.
She told a story about her cousin who
was incarcerated for a significant
portion of his life. Once he was out of
prison, he bought himself a car, and
then shortly after the purchase, his
car was completely totaled by a drunk
driver. This drunk driver was a lawyer,
who did not want to lose his license, and
her cousin just wanted a new car. The
two agreed not to report the incident to
law enforcement, instead deciding that
they could figure out the situation on
their own terms.
Davis’ cousin told the drunk driver
that he would need to do two things:
The former would be replacing the
totaled car and the latter would
be attending a weekly meeting of
men who had killed people drunk
driving and had been imprisoned
for manslaughter. The situation was
resolved without involving legal
institutions or incarceration, and Davis
shared that the drunk driver did attend
every meeting, and that she was certain
he would never drive drunk again.“Here we are in the 21st century, still
addressing the failure to conceptualize
abolition,” said Davis.
Davis continued discussing the
questions at the heart of building a just
and democratic future.
“How can we guarantee that we will
create a society in which these systems
of oppression are obsolete?” asked Davis.
“Given all the pain and suffering, how will
we create a world in which people will get
to experience happiness and joy?”
The importance of creating and
finding happiness was a topic posed
to Davis for commentary towards the
end of the conversation.
“What I find so remarkable about
the Black liberation struggle is it has
also been a moment that has produced
beauty and creativity and art … music
of liberation, of freedom, that looks
forward,” said Davis. “If we’re not
enjoying ourselves, even in the course
of serious fumble, something is wrong.”
The PAC symposium had many
more events throughout the week that
focused on how to engage with the
sustainability of activism.
“You cannot figure out how to
address really drastic and serious
acts of harm if you’re unsure how
to recognize when/how/what harm
looks like in your life,” Connelly
said via email. “The best way to start
cultivating these ideas, and to unlearn
our learned assumptions about crime
and punishment is to start with conflict
resolution. With people you love, and
people you don’t … You’ve got to start
somewhere, and the most accessible
way is through conflict resolution and
interpersonal problem-solving.”
The PAC hosted other events
throughout the week including
Postcards for Palestine, Art for
Social Change x PAC Open Studio,
Student Presentations, Inclusion and
Multicultural Engagement (IME) x PAC
Patch-Making Workshop.
PAC’s final events of the symposium
are today, April 5. There will be an Open
Heart Open Minds Screening and Panel
from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. in the Council
Chambers and a Center for Social
Change and Community Involvement
x PAC Incarcerated Pen Pal Writing
Workshop from 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. in
Fowler 244. You can contact the PAC at
prisonabolitionlc@lclark.edu if you are
interested in learning more.Continued from page 1.

“We have dirt under our fingernails,
working here every day,” Eiguren said.
“We were born here, we live here and
ultimately will die here. If it’s good for the
land it will be good for us. We don’t want
to do anything that’s going to hurt the
land. We think our voice should have a
certain amount of priority over folks that
don’t live here.”
OBSC continued to voice their
concerns about the restrictions a
monument designation, or other
federal protection, could place on
their long-held grazing permits, water
rights and transportation abilities.
They drafted their own proposal — the
Malheur County Healthy Working
Ecosystems Act Legislative Concept —
aimed at “preserving the multiple-uses
of our federal public lands and creating
strategies to deal with future pressures
from growing human populations and
climate change.”
Environmental groups like the
Northwest Sport Fishing Association
recognized the OBSC’s concerns but
worried that preexisting protections
and goodwill declarations are not
permanent nor strong enough to
counter developer’s interests.
“When big money and development
wants something and you have this thin
wall of protection that we currently have
up, that can easily be removed,” said Dan
Cherry, spokesman for the association.
The Oregon Department of Geology
and Mineral Industries released a report
in 2015 identifying gold, uranium and
other mineral deposits in the area that
could have high economic potential
for miners. The land surrounding the
canyon is being explored for gas and oil
extraction opportunities. Unregulated
real estate development and unmanaged
recreation also pose a threat to the land.
Oregon Senators Ron Wyden and Jeff
Merkley implemented aspects of OBSC’s
vision in their Senate Bill 1890, known as
the Malheur Community Empowerment
for the Owyhee Act. OBSC did not
respond to a request for comment. And
though their website states that they
support proposed legislation of the same
name, it also states that they do not
support monument designation.
The proposed legislation reflects
years of discussion between the ranching
community, conservation organizations,
tribal nations, recreationists and
Oregonians across the state. Many of
the disputes and trepidations were
mollified by improved information and
community collaboration.
Tim Davis, a longtime resident of
Ontario, Oregon on the north side of the
canyon spoke about his experience at an
event raising awareness for the Owyhee
Canyonlands’ plight.
“My journey from skeptic to
conservationist exemplifies the power
of personal exploration and community
engagement in protecting our natural
heritage,” Davis said.
Taking the many things this
land means to different people and
communities into account has shaped the
resulting legislation. Contrary to many
concerns, national monuments do protect
existing rights. Thus, grazing permits,
water rights and public and commercial
enterprises would not be impacted. The
current bill ensures that, while half of the
2.5 million acres would be designated as
wilderness areas, the other half would be
maintained as grazing land, maintained
and adjusted seasonally to achieve
ecological health and avoid degradation. The legislation would create a
locally-based group composed of
community leaders who would share
stewardship of the canyon. The Burns-
Paiute and Shoshone Tribes would each
be guaranteed a representative in the
group. The act would also increase the
size of the Burns Paiute Reservation.
Gary McKinney is part of the
Shoshone-Paiute Tribes of Duck Valley
and has worked with the ONDA to
promote the protection of the Owyhee
lands. He spoke to Karly Foster of the
ONDA about his motivations.
“We have held the Owyhee as sacred
lands long before it was called ‘Owyhee.’
We need the protection of the Owyhee
Canyonlands for the protection of our
sacred sites and we are here to support
that,” McKinney said. “This protection
of the Owyhee Canyonlands is (crucial)
to the way that we want to preserve our
lifestyles and teach them to our next
seven generations. And to us, that is more
important than anything.”
The Oregon chapters of the Sierra
Club, The Wilderness Society and other
environmental advocacy organizations
joined the ONDA to create the Protect the
Owyhee Canyonlands campaign to spread
awareness about the proposed legislation
and help push it through Congress.
Environment Oregon, a branch of
the national organization Environment
America, got involved with the campaign
as a part of their broader mission to
protect and restore America’s wildlife to
enable a healthier, more enriching future.
When they first heard of the Protect
the Owyhee Canyonlands movement,
they knew that bringing the issue to the
attention of voters in Oregon’s more
populated areas would help the campaign
achieve its goals.
“We can help boost your local efforts
by bringing the Willamette Valley along
for the ride,” Environment Oregon’s
Conservation Advocate Justin Boyles
said. “So many people don’t know it
exists, even fewer realize that it’s in
danger. How many of those people know
we have an opportunity to protect it?”
Environment Oregon’s experience
with similar campaigns and emphasis
on grassroots organizing through events
and dialogue have helped spread the
word about Owyhee throughout the rest
of Oregon.
“80% of Oregonians support some
kind of protection. Our main goal is to
back the community-driven legislation,”
Boyle said.
President Biden has stated a goal to
conserve 30% of U.S. lands and waters
by 2030, and the Owyhee Canyonlands
are the largest remaining conservation
opportunity in the American Northwest.
Passing Senate Bill 1890 is the easiest
way for him to meet that goal. So far, the
act has received bipartisan support, but
its future in Congress is uncertain.
The ONDA traveled to Washington
D.C. along with Tribal leaders from
the Owyhee area to speak with
senators and interest groups about the
importance of protecting the canyon.
Environment Oregon plans to return
to D.C. in April to continue these
efforts. The bounty of Owyhee wildlife,
the community-driven nature of the
effort to protect it and the opportunity
to safeguard one of the few remaining
stretches of wilderness in the northwest
make Protect the Owyhee Canyonlands’
mission unique. Those wanting to add
their voices to the campaign can visit
protecttheowyhee.org to learn more
about upcoming events and other ways
to get involved.By KEVIN MATISHECK
THE SCENE IS set: You have just
arrived at your senior prom. You
get out of the ridiculous limo
your rich friend’s mom rented. The
friend group is looking straight out of
a movie scene and, as you hold hands
with your cute date, you enter the prom
feeling like James Bond. This is going
to be the best night of your life.
At least, it would have been, had it
not been for a sick pangolin being in the
wrong place at the wrong time. COVID
caused many problems for many
people, but for our juniors and seniors
it took something beyond value — their
high school prom. Luckily for them,
the Campus Activities Board (CAB)
has given them a second opportunity.
This year’s Spring Fling theme was
High School Prom, and it was a hit.
For the freshmen and sophomores
who actually attended their high schools’
proms, the limo probably looked more
like a Honda Civic, and they probably felt
more like Michael Cera than Bond. All
that in mind, the real question is: Did the
Lewis & Clark prom live up to our high
school equivalents?
Kayla Beaird ’27 attended LC’s
prom on March 16.
“I quite enjoyed the prom,” she
said. “I think the best part was running
around the dance floor and chatting
with people I don’t necessarily get to
chat with all the time. BIG step up from high school prom. High school
prom was bad.”
Beaird clarified what had made her
high school prom less than ideal.
“I tried to make cute little prom plans
and it just didn’t really work out. Also, my
high school’s prom theme was gambling
and it was really weird,” she said.
Beaird shared her critique and
praise of LC’s prom.
“I think the space was a bit too big
for the crowd that came; I thought
the food that they had was really nice
there; I thought that the little standing
tables were cool; I wasn’t crazy about
the mocktails bar,” said Beaird. “I
think what made that dance nicer was
just that college itself is a different
experience. People just act differently
… With my high school prom, I felt a
lot of pressure to make it perfect. For
me, I thought my high school prom was
the only time I would get to go to a nice
dance. It was quite nice to have a nice
dance in college that didn’t have that
same pressure.”
For many students, the prom
represented a chance to have that
quintessential high school experience
without all the social messiness
that comes with the real thing. But
for others, it did not live up to the
Hollywood experience.
International student Nhan Han ’27,
who was Prom King at his high school’s
prom, thought it was not as great as the
movies promised it would be. “It was nice because I got to
experience an American high school
prom,” Han said. “When I watched
movies it was so cool, but I feel like it
wasn’t like how it happened in movies … I
didn’t like the lights. I feel like I can dance
better if the lights are off.”
A lot of people shared the same
sentiment regarding the lights. There was
a time when the overhead lights randomly
flicked on during the middle of the dance.
“Like when a club turns out the
light at the end of the night and tells
everyone to get out,” said Beaird.
However, that did not stop students
from dancing — the prom featured
multiple dance circles, breakdancing
and a Cotton Eye Joe routine.
It may not have been Grease, and
it may not even have been as good as
high school for those who got a prom,
but it was certainly a night of dancing
for friends and peers to remember.Conversation covers solitary
confinement, justice reform Malheur county case
remains in legal flux
Students relive high school, missed
opportunities in Spring Fling prom
COURTESY OF CAMPUS ACTIVITIES BOARD
COURTESY OF OREGON NATIONAL DESERT ASSOCIATION
Preservation of natural heritage and sacred sites is an important factor for legislation.FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
ARTS 4
Jess Perlitz’s art class creates challenging, playable course designed around theme of uncertain futureMini-golf sculpture gallery invites participation
By CAROLINE DREW
MINIATURE golf courses have
become a unique form of
artistic expression in the last
decade. The Walker Art Museum in
Minneapolis is home to a seasonal
rooftop mini golf course for over a
decade. A course is usually comprised
of nine holes, each designed by a
different artist often using the game to
explore political and cultural themes. Kansas City, Missouri’s Neil-Atkins
Museum of Art has followed suit
with their own “Big Art, Mini Golf”
course. In the Portland neighborhood
of Saint John’s, artist Mike Benett
designed a fantasy, narrative-based
course as a part of his immersive art
project, Wonderwood.
Inspired by these integrations of art
and play, Assistant Professor of Studio
Art and Head of Sculpture Jess Perlitz
assigned her Sculpture 2/3 class to take on the challenge of creating a well-made,
playable, sculpture course this semester.
Sculpture students each brought
their own interpretations of an
uncertain future to their holes. The
completed course was playable for
the Lewis & Clark campus briefly the
week before spring break. On sunny
days, anyone could putt the course’s 11
holes outside of the Fields Center for
the Arts. When Portland’s rainy side
comes out, the course was relocated
within gallery walls inside of Fields.
A student in the class, Emilie
Schaefer ’25 looked to the past to explore
an uncertain future for her structure.
“I’m very interested in antiquity,
and combining the game of mini golf
with the structure of a temple was
amusing to me,” Schaefer said. “It
was a challenge to make, primarily
the columns, which took extensive
precision and hours of sanding to make
them smooth and round. I wanted to
create something that appears sleek,
and clean, but behind the scenes,
sawdust was absolutely everywhere.”
As Shaefer’s example illustrates,
the final sculptures are deceptively
simple. The 11 holes span many topics
and materials, sparking a variety
of conversations. Though the course
may appear more ideological than
game-based, it is not an easy game.
Although the course has since been
taken down, it will be available for
play again in the Alumni Circle from
9 a.m. - 5 p.m. during the Festival of
Scholars and Artists on April 12. If you
are up for the challenge, visit the Fields
Center for the Arts to pick up a putter
and play into an uncertain future.
Emerging artist reminisces adolescent life in first solo collection, yet variety of topics confuses messageRapper Bas’ concert improves anticipated new album
By ISAAC BABUS
DREAMVILLE rapper Bas is
back after a five-year hiatus
with his fourth studio album
“We Only Talk About Real Shit When
We’re Fucked Up,” and despite much
anticipation from fans, it only sort
of delivers. The album is a mix of
hip-hop and R&B with Afrobeats
influence that simultaneously feels like
a deep dive into Bas’s character and
surface-level braggadocio, creating an
inconsistent feel.
It is jarring to go from hearing Bas
rap about his problems with drug use in
“Ho Chi Minh,” his relatives and home
being harmed because of the Sudanese
conflict in “Khartoum,” to flexing his
personal wealth in “Yao Ming” and
“Paper Cuts.” While songs like “Paper
Cuts” do symbolize the growth that
Bas has experienced in his journey to
becoming a rapper, it still feels empty.
Bas is the son of a Sudanese
diplomat. He has been on political
envoys since early childhood, where he
met figures like Idi Amin. He lived in
Paris and Qatar until the age of eight
before his family moved to Jamaica,
a neighborhood in Queens in New
York City. Bas has four siblings, all of
whom have successful careers, but two
stand out. One is a famous NYC artist,
DJ mOma, and the other is Ibrahim,
who has managed J. Cole since 2007. Cole recognized Bas’s talent early
on and greatly influenced his career by
coaching him, taking him on tour and
involving him in his studio sessions. Bas
has even been regarded as “Dreamville’s
Heir” according to The FADER. This is
all to say that he can write incredible
lyrics, a claim backed up by Cole himself.
“Some of the flows he was using,
words he was putting together. He was
kind of naturally talented,” J. Cole said.
Cole is not wrong; Bas can write
vulnerable and impactful lyrics. He
proves that on songs like “Live For”
off of 2016’s “Too High to Riot,” which
dive into Bas’ relationship with his
aunt before she passed, his cynical
perspective on the world and the pain
that comes with letting go of others to
achieve goals. Unfortunately, that raw
emotion seen on “Too High to Riot” is
found in only two, or perhaps three,
songs from the newest 17-song album.
“Light Of My Soul” is a brilliant start
to the album and sets the tone with its
melancholic, slowed vocal sample. The
drums kick in as he raps about his worry
that he will die from drug use, which he
consumes to avoid his inner pain. Bas
raps about trying to forget the past,
dealing with “friends” stealing money
from him and starting to overcome
his ingrained tendency to people-
please: “Mama told me ‘Treat ’em to
the light of my soul / The light of my
soul, and don’t expect nun back’ / The
light of my soul, but shit, I want some
back.” The song ends with a Sudanese
woman praying for Bas in Arabic.
Following the title track, the
lyrical quality drops off. “Black Jedi”
and other songs like “Decent” and
“U-Turn” follow monotonous, faceless,
romantic and sexual relationships,
which is a rough transition following
the emotion that Bas had shown prior.
“Choppas” and “Risk” are wonderful
FKJ-produced beats, but Bas returns
again with wishy-washy, R&B-inspired
lyrics about forlorn relationships.
Another song, “179 Deli,” which is
a fun club song produced by members
of Jungle and featuring AJ Tracey. The
club synths, pounding bass and ethereal
backing vocals from Lydia Kitto elevate
the track. Bas takes on a more upbeat
tone with his rapping, mimicking what
people say about him behind his back by
talking with his hand when he performs the song on stage. The name “179 Deli”
comes from the name of a deli Bas grew
up by in Jamaica, and my personal
nitpick is that I wish he spoke more on
his adolescent life growing up in that
area of New York. That deli clearly holds
some important sentiment to him,
and I want to hear more about that.
Despite “We Only Talk About
Real Shit When We’re Fucked Up”
being Bas’s first solo album, Bas’ best
moments are standing beside J. Cole. In
“Home Alone,” Bas adopts Cole’s rhyme
scheme while seemingly allowing
Cole to take the lead. “Passport Bros”
feels like a triumphant return to the
brotherly duo as they drunkenly sing
about love and their travels across the
world on a Barcelona-inspired beat.
In some ways, “Passport Bros”
feels reminiscent of “Tribe” from
“Milky Way,” which is another J. Cole
collaboration and one of Bas’s most
streamed songs. While I do enjoy the
song, it does not live up to the album’s
goal of delving into deep emotional
topics. If the album were more concrete
and on theme, “Passport Bros” would be
a welcome reprieve to the hard topics,
but given the lack of overall structure,
this track just adds to the confusion.
Overall, I think the album is a solid
6/10 and fun to listen to on night drives.
The downtempo style of most of the
album creates a calm and melancholic
vibe as Bas’s mellow vocals guide
you through the tracks. “Passport
Bros” is the one disruption to that
flow, leading back to this continuous
issue in structure, concept and Bas
trying to do a little bit of everything.
However, when I saw Bas on tour,
and the album was detached from
its structure in the form of a concert,
the music was much more enjoyable.
Bas had the freedom to jump around
musically and it was not expected to
have any order to it or follow a specific
theme. Bas utilized that freedom
incredibly well during his time on
stage. Bas played an intimate show at
the Roseland Theater on March 16 for
an audience of around 200 people.
Bas’ openers, Hoosh, Reuben Vincent
and Blxckie, were all artists I had not
heard of before. Seeing Bas introduce
his audience to smaller musicians was
powerful, especially as Blxckie came
from South Africa to join the tour. Every musician had a strong stage
presence and engaged the crowd,
especially Bas himself who brought a
fan on stage to rap with him. The live
piano, guitar and incredible backing
vocalist added a lot to the performance
as Bas took the crowd through a time
warp by performing songs from all of
his albums. From 2014’s “Last Winter”
to “Revenge of the Dreamers III” and J.
Cole’s “The Off-Season,” Bas had it all.
I do love Bas’s music and eagerly
look forward to the next projects he
creates. In terms of lyrical depth, I did
not think Bas was going to drop the
next “4 Your Eyez Only,” as J. Cole’s rawness on the 2016 album is hard to
match, but the expectations I did have
were not met. The few emotional songs
on the album stand out much more than
the others and I think that the fluff of
the album disrupts its main message.
Bas taking a moment during the show
to talk about his relationship to Sudan
as his second home before performing
“Khartoum” hit home the album’s point
in a way that feels unclear without
witnessing it live. I do believe that Bas
has the skill to be Dreamville’s heir after
J. Cole, but I do not think he is there
just yet. With more time and confidence
gained, I think the crown will be his.ISAAC BABUS /THE MOSSY LOG
Backdropped by flashing lights, the singer engages the crowd while shrouded in smoke.
CORRYN PETTINGILL /THE MOSSY LOG
The structure made by Emilie Schaefer ’25 resembles an ancient temple with columns.
CORRYN PETTINGILL /THE MOSSY LOG
Thought provoking installation resembles a tipped medication bottle with scattered pills.
ISAAC BABUS /THE MOSSY LOG
In mid-March his tour visited Portland.
A handmade animal skeleton towers over the ramp as individuals attempt to swing.CORRYN PETTINGILL /THE MOSSY LOGFRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
ARTS 5
Professor Mirabile
debuts neo-noir book
Upcoming Events - AprilBy ELLA DUNN
ASSISTANT Professor of English
Michael Mirabile has taught
many popular film classes
at Lewis & Clark. Recently, he
released his first book, “The Edges
of Noir,” a study on a phase of noir
film that is rarely acknowledged by
scholars. He presented his work to
students and faculty on March 11.
The book focuses on films made in
what Mirabile calls the “Late-Noir”
period, also known as “pulp-noir,”
typically considered to have occurred
between 1959 and 1970 or ’71. His
book focuses on films such as “Shock
Corridor” (1963), “The Naked Kiss”
(1964), “The 3rd Voice” (1960) and
“Point Blank” (1967).
“I had been interested in writing
about film noir for a while ... I started
looking at the basic chronology
and I noticed that it was divided
into two periods: classical noir and
neo-noir. But then there was that
period in-between of about 15 to 20
years,” Mirabile said. “I felt that it
was very neglected — nobody really
talked about it in depth, mostly in
passing. Many neglect that it exists,
and my book argues that it does.
It is basically an effort to flesh
out those in-between years which
people usually don’t associate
with film noir.”
Mirabile’s writing process was
not direct; he began by writing
academic articles on films, without
any intention of completing a book,
before realizing his works followed a
theme and could come together.
“I had been slowly, without having
a vision of the whole project, building
material around the idea of this other
period of noir. I didn’t know exactly
where it was going. I wrote a long
chapter that I originally thought
was going to be an article, but it just
kept going. Then I started thinking,
‘Maybe there’s a whole book in this,’”
Mirabile said. “When the pandemic
hit, I was working from home a lot
more, which made it easy to shift
into ‘writing mode.’ Over that a
two-and-a-half-year period, I started
turning that research material and
my interpretations into separate
chapters, compiled thematically.”
Mirabile detailed the distinction
that many scholars make regarding
the classification of noir, whether as a
style or a genre.
“Film noir is somewhat hard to
define — some people think of it as
a genre, some as a style, some as
a movement. Personally, I go back
and forth. I would say as a general
characterization of film noir, with
its 80-year history, it’s more of a
genre. But when I look at (pulp
noir), it seems to me more of a style.
Films of that era don’t really follow
discernible plot conventions, and
yet they can be described as noir based
on style,” Mirabile said. He specified how neo-noir, from
the 1970s through today, is difficult to
define.
“This may be too much of a
generalization, but if the classical
theory is mostly a genre – defined
by plot construction and character
types — and the late period is more of a
style, I feel like the neo-noir is hard to
define as either of those because it goes
off in so many different directions,”
said Mirabile.
This topic is a special one for
Mirabile. He has spent his academic
life studying comparative literature
and critical film theory.
“I’ve been really interested in film
criticism for a long time,” he said. “I
was secondarily starting to get very
interested in film noir; I think my
interest stemmed from the fact that
a lot of film noir can be interpreted
in multiple ways. It started off as
an interpretive problem — looking
into concealed meanings within
films — which drew me to film noir in
general and then to particular examples
of that later.”
When asked about his next project,
Mirabile had an exciting answer. He
is currently working on his next book,
“Murder in Motion.” There is no set
release date, but he is “knee-deep” in
the process.
“I’ve written a couple of chapters
already and hope to finish over the
summer. (“Murder in Motion”)
is more focused on literature, but
there is the occasional film or
television example,” he said. “It’s
about the genre of the suspense
thriller in fiction, but more particularly
the sociological dimensions of it. It’s
an attempt to apply social analysis to
the thriller. I look at urban setting and
the role of things like transportation
and communication and how the
increasing speed of those things
changes the format of the thriller.”
Mirabile has compiled a
wonderful book on a rarely
discussed era of film noir, and, if
you are interested in suspense and
thriller literature, he will have more
work for you soon.By ELLA DUNN
HANSOL JUNG’S “Wolf
Play” was this year’s Spring
mainstage performance by
Lewis & Clark’s Theatre department.
The show was directed by the
newest addition to the department,
Assistant Professor of Theatre
Suhaila Meera.
I consider myself a theatre enjoyer,
so this may be a biased opinion,
however, I believe this play is very
emotionally raw and real in ways that
anybody could relate to. It delves into
flawed adoption systems, queer love,
childhood trauma and what defines
a family. These themes impacted me
personally, but even if any given one of
them is not a part of your life firsthand,
this play still finds a way to resonate
with every single audience member. I
saw it three times.
Jung’s writing is incredible; every
single time I viewed the show, it had me
in tears. The characters are extremely
complex; they all have biases and flaws,
desires and layered emotions. I found
myself falling in love with each character
in a different way, or at the very least
understanding their motivations. This
play is a window into what feels like
a true story, full of awkward, realistic
dialogue, tensions between family
members and homophobic and racist
stereotypes. It is easy to forget you are
watching a play.
The show consists of a five-person
cast, with an emphasis on the diverse
casting the playwright intended. Meera
took that emphasis to heart in her
production. The main character, written
to be East Asian, was portrayed in our
production by Russel “Rusty” Nozoe
’24, an East Asian actor. The nonbinary
boxer character was portrayed by a
nonbinary actor, Ambrose Holland ’25.
Needless to say, the casting choices
stayed true to the intention of the
writer, and the actors themselves were
all extremely talented. With such a
small cast, some of the actors described
the challenge of creating a crowded atmosphere such as that of a boxing
bout, where the energy and the stakes
are high.
“(The boxing match) gets pretty
chaotic, and there are only four of
us onstage,” Ruby Guzman ’25 said
in an interview with the LC Theatre
Department. “So how do we fill up that
space and make it feel like we’re really
in a big stadium?”
Meera addressed this limitation
through the use of sound effects as
well as the choices of the actors — the
ways they embodied the space and the
volume of their voices — matching the
situation in very convincing ways.
Another masterful touch was the
construction of the beautiful set. The
majority of the stage was taken up by
what one might consider a dollhouse
set; it was constructed like a house, with
individual rooms. However, like in a
dollhouse, each room had a wall cut out
to expose the interior to the audience.
Not only did this provide a very solid
understanding of the way the characters
took up space on the stage, but it also
was visually interesting. A challenge
posed by the cutout construction
was the visibility of the characters as
they moved between rooms. This was combated by primarily selling tickets in
the center of the auditorium where the
best view was available, and specifying
where there would be a partial view. The
obstruction of full views at all times also
added to the tension of the storyline.
The floor in front of the first row
of seats was covered in fake grass, and
the apron had a boxing ring painted
on the floor. The boxing ring was a
concern for me at first, as I thought
it might take away from non-boxing
scenes that happened on the apron, but
I learned quickly that it is easy to forget
the ring is there when it is not relevant.
In one of the shows I attended I had a
partial view seat. It was not ideal, but
it also did not take away from the show
in any way. The set was a wonderful
production choice, and I hope to
see similarly complex sets in future
Fir Acres productions.
“Wolf Play” is one of those shows
that genuinely changed my life. Jung’s
characters find their way deep into
the hearts of watchers, and the cast
that was selected for this performance
portrayed them so well. The show is
no longer running, but be sure to
keep an eye out for the LC mainstage
shows next year!Jung’s “Wolf Play” features
talented cast, complex set
Students listen to context presentation.COURTESY OF AMY BASKIN
Nozoe ’24 has a quiet moment on stage.ELLA DUNN/THE MOSSY LOGHolland ’25 (left) and Nozoe ’24 (right) act together in LC’s mainstage performance.ELLA DUNN/THE MOSSY LOG
GALLERY OFFERINGS
PDX Contemporary Art
Animal Spirit by Yamamoto Masao
1881 NW Vaughn St.
On view until April 27
Hoffman Gallery
2024 Senior Art Exhibition
On view until May 4
Industry One Gallery
Let it Be Known
On view until April 6
413 SW 10th Ave.
Portland Art Museum
Future Now: Virtual Sneakers to
Cutting-Edge Kicks
On view until Aug. 30
Throughlines: Connections in the
collection
On view until Nov. 1
1219 SW Park Ave.THIS WEEKEND
5 - Music: Bridges Middle School
Benefit feat. Johnny Franco,
Mars FM & more!
8 @ Atlantis Lounge
5 - 6 - Theatre: Brush Up Your
Shakespeare!
7:30 p.m. @ Evans Auditorium
6 - Music: Spring Picnic
12 p.m. @ Tamarack
Local music, art and food!
AND BEYOND
8 - Art: EAR Forest Eclipse Picnic
11 a.m. @ EAR Forest
Artists in residence Beth
Stephens and Annie Sprinkle
host a BYO Lunchtime picnic
during the partial solar eclipse!9 - Art: EAR Forest Sound Installation
5 p.m. @ EAR Forest
Presented by Beth Stephens and
Annie Sprinkle.
10 - Music: Willamette Week
Best New Bands Showcase
8 p.m. @ Mississippi Studios
11 - Art: Art Therapy Open Studio
3 p.m. @ 4445 SW Barbur Blvd
12 - Music: Friends of Rain & Faculty
Chamber Players Concert
7:30 p.m. @ Evans Auditorium
12 - Music: Forty Feet Tall & Gondos
8:30 p.m. @ Lollipop Shoppe
12 - 13 - Dance: Dance Y
7 & 9 p.m. @ Flannagan Chapel
13 - Music: Composition Recital
7:30 p.m. @ Evans Auditorium14 - Music: Wind Symphony and
Percussion Ensemble
Performance
3 p.m. @ Evans Auditorium
15 -Literature: Earth Verse Poetry
Reading with Kim Stafford
5 p.m. @ Watzek Classroom
15 - Music: Latin American Ensemble
7:30 p.m. @ Evans 122
16 - Art: Art for Social Change Meeting
12 p.m. @ via Zoom
19 - Literature: Reception for
Dorothy Berkson Writing Award
3 p.m. @ Smith Hall
19 - Music: Fridays @ 5
8:30 p.m. @ Evans Auditorium
20 - Music: Sunburn
5 p.m. @ Smith HallSENIOR THESES
7 - Music: Peter Steck
7:30 @ Evans Auditorium
12 - Art: Senior Art Exhibition
Opening & Artist Talk
3:30 p.m. @ Hoffman Gallery
18 - Music: Charlotte Ostrov
5 p.m. @ Smith Hall
17, 19 -Theatre: Waitress
8:30 p.m. @ Fir Acres Theatre
18, 20 - Theatre: Achilles &
Patroclus
7:30 p.m. @ Fir Acres Theatre
18, 20 - Theatre: The Monkey’s Paw
8:30 p.m. @ Fir Acres Theatre
18, 20 - Theatre: Misery
9:30 p.m. @ Fir Acres Theatre FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
FEATURES 6
International travel guide
broadens student horizons
By ROSALIE ZUCKERMANN
TRAVELING OUT of the country
can be incredibly intimidating,
especially if it is your first time. This
spring break, I left the states for the first
time, which I was excited to do especially
since I will be studying abroad in the fall.
Although Canada is quite different from
how I imagine my time in England will
be, I can at least say that my passport was
not found to be counterfeited! Similar to
going to a bar for the first time at 21, the
concern that your ID will be mistaken for
a fake is a real, albeit mildly absurd, fear.
Even with travel experience, the
logistics, not to mention the finances, of
getting out of the country can be tricky.
I am here to share what I gleaned in the
learning process that may inspire or aid
other students.
Go where you know people
Lodging is likely to be the most
expensive part of any trip, as multiple
nights add up to surpass even many plane
tickets. While hotels or Airbnbs may not
be options, crashing with folks you know
who live in your destination spot is ideal. I
have a pretty small family, so I do not have
relatives to stay with, but I travel with my
roommate who has family all over the
country (and Canada!). If you have any
connections like this who are willing and
able to accommodate guests, not only will
you save money but you can get a much
more enriching social experience.
Over spring break, my roommate and
I stayed with her aunt, uncle and two cousins. I barely know the few cousins
I have, so spending the weekend getting
to know my roommate’s two delightful
cousins was a joy. I got to be an honorary
family member for the time I was there,
and it was really sweet to be a part of.
Another bonus is that by staying
with residents of an area, they might
be willing to show you the best spots
around. My roommate’s family showed
us fantastic hiking trails, shops and
restaurants — and made sure I got the
full Canadian experience for my first
time. I mean, I even started watching
a reality TV show about logging called
“Big Timber”!
If you end up crashing with
other people, make sure to be a good
houseguest. Bringing a bouquet of
flowers, a bottle of wine, a box of
chocolates or a card goes a long way in
expressing your appreciation. Offering
to help with chores is another good bet to
make sure that they do not mind the extra
people in their home.
Public transportation rocks
If you do not have a car (as so many
of my Features articles start; can you
tell I do not have a car? Please drive me
to Fred Meyer) there are tons of options
to get between major cities. Buses and
trains such as Greyhound and Amtrak are
typically quite affordable. I took a FlixBus
from Portland to Vancouver, BC, and the
cost of the ticket was not even close to
what gas would have cost for the drive.
My journey was eight hours (nine on
the way back when we hit traffic), and you may need some activities to keep you
sane. Drafting a stand-up routine with
your travel buddy, reading a juicy novel,
listening to audiobooks or podcasts,
writing some nostalgic poetry about
liminal spaces and, fine, actually doing
homework, are all great choices.
Driving over the border in a bus is
probably less convenient than in your
own vehicle, since everyone has to
vacate the bus with their luggage and if
one person is stopped to get questioned,
nobody can leave. The process of crossing
the Washington-BC border was quite
smooth despite the 30 people involved
and took only around a half hour.
Once you get to your destination,
researching local public transit is hugely
beneficial. Vancouver is an exceptionally
walkable city, not to mention the plethora
of navigable bus routes. The TriMet
might stay in Portland, but you can still
have get around with other buses!
Prepare in advance
Make sure you do some prep work
before leaving the states, since phone
plans and payments are different. This
may be an elementary fact for seasoned
travelers, but it was news to me that
there would be a 2% charge on all of
my credit card purchases in Canada. If
you use a credit or debit card, call your
bank before leaving to let them know
that you will be out of the country so
they do not freeze your card on a fraud
alert. Also, get familiar with exchange
rates. Canadian dollars are worth about
74% of a U.S. dollar, so what may seem
pricey in Canada will show up cheaper
on your bank statement.
As for your phone, if you have an
unlimited data plan, you will likely not
incur additional expenses. If not, all calls
and messages you make not using WiFi
will be charged. You could also pay a flat
daily fee with your mobile carrier for a
per-day international plan, which will
allow your phone to operate as usual.

While leaving your home base is
daunting, with a little planning and
an eye toward cost-reduction it can be
far less intense than it seems. Canada
might not be your next venture, but
wherever you go I hope it is memorable
and stress-free!By CORRINA CHAN
DEEP IN the recesses of the
many unique clubs and
organizations on campus,
there lies an old, forgotten art
form: Pokémon GO! Made in 2016,
“Pokémon GO” took the world by
storm, allowing players to catch
Pokémon in real life, trading and
battling with nearby trainers. You
may have seen their Pokémon-
themed tables during club fairs or
flyers posted around the school.
The club meets every Wednesday
from 6-7 p.m., corresponding with
in-game “raid hour” events. These
events are one hour battles where
a Boss Pokémon takes over a Gym.
Gyms are specialized locations around
the world that allow players to battle
Pokemon from rival teams for control
over the Gym.
“Each week hosts a unique
Legendary Pokémon that appears as a
boss battle in gyms across the maps.
The only way to take them down is
with teamwork.” said club President
Brennan Ratican ’24 via email. “Our
meetings always start outside of
Watzek, and we will spend the hour
walking around campus competing
together in the various Gyms we have
all over campus.”
Another event that they hold is
“Community Day,” an in-game event
that happens on either Saturday or
Sunday, consisting of three-hour
long catching parties for a specific
spotlighted Pokémon and its evolutions.
“We gift our members with
special Community Day tickets,
which are in-game quests that boast
higher chances of catching top-quality
Pokémon. On Community Days, we
either spend our meetings walking
around campus catching Pokémon or
we organize carpools down to the PSU
Farmer’s Market,” Ratican said.
The organization’s main mode
of communication is through their
Discord server, which can be accessed
through their Instagram page. They
currently have over 150 members,
including alumni and those abroad,
expanding their catching reach all over
the world. With the recent release of
“Pokémon Scarlet and Violet,” two
separate video game installments
released at the same time, the club
is hoping to host more classic game
events, such as their launch party last
year for the game, where they hosted
an event with pizza and played the
game. Their most recent event was
a player versus player tournament,
inspired by the classic card game,
where you choose your best Pokémon
and battled with your friends for
potential prizes.
Their biggest event of the year is
Pokémon Day, celebrated on Feb. 27.
A member since the Fall of 2020,
Ratican believes in the social aspects
of the club, going on to talk about
how many friends he has made in the
community, and wanting to continue
that legacy after he leaves.
“Interacting with our club members
is so fulfilling — whether it’s trading
lucky or shiny Pokémon, battling each
other, or just sharing our cool catches,
this club turns a game that is typically
played in isolation into a community-
driven experience that we can enjoy
together,” he said.
Ratican also drew attention to the
importance of having a club on campus
dedicated to Pokémon GO.
“On the surface, it might seem
simple — just a group of people playing
Pokémon GO,” Ratican said, “but this
club is truly a unique experience. It’s
difficult to play Pokémon GO on your
own, especially because of the costs of
in-game experiences. Being on a college
campus allows us a lot more freedom to
play this game to its true potential. We
have easy access to in-game events, and
paid experiences often provided by the
club. We have built a true community
out of this game.”
As for the rest of the year, their
final Community Days will be hosted
on April 7 and April 20.
“We hope to see you there!”
Ratican said.
If you are interested in joining the
club, email pokemongo@lclark.edu
or follow them @pokemongolc on
Instagram, where you can also join their
Discord server for updates and more
information. Gotta catch ’em all!Pokémon GO unites
undergrads, alumni
By OLIVIA LARIOS
Across
1. Fake or ingenuine
3. “__ luh fit”
6. “ _ __ or Nah,” song by Mike
Hardy
9. Classic frat boy Halloween costume
that honors Greek antiquity
11. Leader of the Wu-Tang Clan
12. “Like damn, she _ _ mood, she
lit get money too,” Genius lyrics by Ice
Spice
13. The narcotic produced in
“Breaking Bad”
14. Kardashian or Jong Un, both
curvy icons with a flare for child labor
15. A very average man, singular
17. How a flamboyant Lady Gaga fan
might say “yes”
20. A peevish spell of anger and
resentment
21. [That was a close one!]Unscramble your brain with this eggs-cellent crossword
Amusing crucigram supplies dose of pop culture to campus, entertains word nerds, STEM majors alike
OLIVIA LARIOS/THE MOSSY LOGDown
1. Common viral infection that
impacts the respiratory system
2. Thurman, star of Kill Bill and
song by Fall Out Boy
4. “Much __ About Nothing,” play
by William Shakespeare with one of the
first ever enemies-to-lovers tropes
5. British singer of “Paper Planes”
and “Bad Girls”
7. Nicki, famous rapper who wrote
the lines “I am the queen of rap, young
Ariana run pop”
8. Des Moines school that lost March
Madness first round to Washington
State
9. Where a Forest resident might get
a late-night sweet treat, colloquially
10. The perpetrators of the infamous
Great Granola Genocide, which was
incited by the assassination of Archduke
Alex Honnold
15. The remains of a human body
after cremation
16. A stupid, clumsy or uncultured
person
18. “Goofy __,” how you might
describe 16-Down
19. Movie franchise in which the
villain tests his victim’s will to live
#JohnKramer
Check your answers at piolog.com
ROSALIE ZUCKERMANN/THE MOSSY LOG
With proper planning, exploring a new country is possible to do, even on a budget.
By JAY NELSON
IT IS AN undeniable truth that
Lewis & Clark College is a beautiful
place. Campus is comprised of
the Tudor-style Frank Manor House
dominating the middle of the grounds,
the extensive, tiered garden and all the
paths, buildings and lawns both new
and old dotting this humble spot upon
Palatine Hill. I find myself glad to have
so many beautiful places to simply sit
down and relax. There is no rush, no
work, no competition — just me and the
great outdoors.
But what if we made it competitive?
Of all the places to relax, what spot
proves the most comfortable? The
most beautiful? The most central to
our community?
Unfortunately, due to the sheer
number of places that one could be
inclined to sit, this ranking will be limited
to a single object of study: the bench. A
bench, for those unaware, is an elevated
platform, typically of wood, made with
the intent of seating multiple people.
They can have an attached back, or, in
the cases of the picnic bench, even a table,
but neither of these are necessary. A good
bench should be sturdy, well-placed in
terms of both beauty and community
and, most of all, comfortable.
Odell Annex bench
Beginning with our first bench,
we have the humble wood-planked
concrete blocks found outside the main
entrance to Fowler and in front of the
Odell Annex. These benches are simple
and modern in design, feeling both
sturdy and comfortable to sit upon.
However, they lack backings, which is
unfortunate and are rarely sat upon. The
places that they are situated in are more
transitional spaces than destinations.
Overall, a fine bench, albeit overlooked.
Comfort: 6/10
Beauty: 4/10
Structure: 9/10
Community: 2/10
Overall: 4 /10
Bon picnic tables
Next, we have the round, orange
enamel covered picnic table benches
situated outside the Bon, directly in front of the Pio’s Fowler stop. The grated
nature of these benches feels similar to
chicken wire, both in appearance and
comfort. They are cold to the touch,
even when it is warm out and cannot
be sat upon for long before growing
uncomfortable. However, they are placed
in an absolutely prime location, being an
excellent spot to wait for the bus, eat the
Bon’s finest cuisine or to simply relax
and study. A bench here is necessary — I
just wish it were a different one.
Comfort: 3/10
Beauty: 4/10
Structure: 7/10
Community: 8/10
Overall: 6 /10
The classic picnic table
Pivoting to a more ubiquitous seat,
we have the humble, wooden picnic
table. These specimens can be found
throughout campus wherever grass
is present, especially on the lawns in
front of the Frank Manor House. They
are well-worn and well-loved, their
wood pitted with age and stained with
substances created by man and bird
alike. They rock noticeably when one
sits down or moves, but this is not of
much concern. The company that one
keeps at these benches is what gives
them their value.
Comfort: 5/10
Beauty: 6/10
Structure: 2/10
Community: 10/10
Overall: 8 /10
Kenneth’s stone benches
Moving to more artful installations,
we have a relatively unknown sample
in the benchosphere: the two stone
benches placed between Flanagan
Chapel and the Manor House. These
benches, interred within a stone circle
and ascribed to former groundsman
Kenneth Lowell, often go unnoticed
and with good reason. Despite their
stony construction, they tilt and clatter
whenever the weight upon them shifts.
They are coated in moss and lichen,
and are perpetually cold to the touch,
due to their location being firmly
shadowed for most of the day. These
benches are interesting to look at, but
not to sit on.Comfort: 2/10
Beauty: 4/10
Structure: 3/10
Community: 4/10
Overall: 3/10
The humble wooden bench
The next specimen is a wooden
one, found in many places throughout
the campus, such as in front of the Pio
stop, surrounding the circle lawn and
in front of Pamplin. These benches are
humble, but all clearly cut from the same
stock. They have backs, armrests and
rounded seats, providing an incredibly
comfortable experience. However, their
placement is, again, questionable at best.
These are not placed at destinations, but
in places meant to pass through.
Comfort: 9/10
Beauty: 6/10
Structure: 7/10
Community: 2/10
Overall: 7/10
JR Howard stone bench blocks
An often-spoken debate (or one
that should be often-spoken) among LC
students follows this entity. It lurks in
darkened corners, between halls of brick
and concrete, waiting patiently for its
moment to strike its poisoned fear into
the hearts of all that witness its eldritch
design. I am, of course, speaking of the
large blocks of stone surrounding JR
Howard. The question posed at these
hulking obelisks is simple: Is it a bench,
or is it something more mysterious?
That said, everyone and their mother
congregates at these benches between
classes, and on a sunny day, that is a
perfect recipe for community building.
Comfort: 8/10
Beauty: 7/10
Structure: 10/10
Community: 8/10
Overall: 8 /10
All in all, the benches of LC are
varied in all their aspects, from comfort
to views to the company you keep
while seated on one. However, the
perspectives stated in this article are
singular. Much like the view from a
bench, it only sees from one perspective.
Take a walk, experience the benches of
LC and form your own opinions.FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
FEATURES 7
Sensational seats offer refuge for weariest of behindsBy CAROLINE DREW
PORTLAND MIGHT as well be
heaven for the cinephiles, film
buffs and movie geeks out there.
Independent and arthouse theaters are
not only popular throughout the city,
they are accessible and affordable. At
the following locations, you can see a
vast variety of popular movies, foreign,
local and independent films, and your
trip to the cinema will cost you less than
$20 — snacks included!
Moreland Theater
Moreland Theater’s classic sign is
a staple in the Sellwood skyline. From
head to toe, the cinema stays true to
a retro, locally-beloved vibe with an
outdoor box office, simple concessions
and a cozy interior. While you will not
find enveloping, reclining, vibrating
seats in this single-screen theater,
their well-worn classic chairs are a
comfortable treat. Moreland typically
screens one newly-released film for one
to two weeks, before moving on to the
next big-screen blockbuster or indie
darling conversation starter. While
limited screening options may seem like
a downfall, many neighborhood locals
(like myself) find the simplicity charming
and reassuring. Keep an eye on their
Instagram, @morelandtheater, and
their marquee to stay in the loop on
current screenings.
Visiting Moreland is reasonable at
any point in the week, as tickets are $8
before 6 p.m. and $10 after. On Tuesdays,
tickets are $5 all day — but be sure to
arrive before show time as lines are not
uncommon, especially for popular films. It also will not break the bank to grab a
snack on your way in. Popcorn is $4 - $6,
soda $3 - $4. Beer is always $5.50 and it
is $6.70 for a glass of wine.
Hollywood Theatre
The Hollywood Theatre is a Portland
institution. Located in the historic
Hollywood district, its luminous sign
elicits selfies from tourists and locals
alike. Film buffs of all kinds should tune
into their Instagram, @hollywoodtheatr,
and website to stay on top of their unique
programming and film series. Cult classics
and up-and-coming independent films
always have a home at Hollywood, with
many rare, single-day showings drawing
large crowds. Their Kung Fu Theatre
series, for example, screens one-of-a-kind
35-millimeter prints of martial arts films
from the 1970s. Educational programming
and local filmmakers also get their share of
the spotlight here.
Beyond its ornate exterior, the
Hollywood Theater is a well-oiled
machine. The seats are cushy and
pleasantly spaced, with the perfect
amount of recline. Small tables on
the sides of aisles provide ample space
to pick-up popcorn, beer ($6), cider ($6)
and wine ($7) at the concessions stand
or sidle up to the “Pie Hole,” courtesy of
Sizzle Pie, for a $4-$5 slice. Student tickets
are $10 and can be purchased online or at
the Box Office 30 minutes before the first
showing of the day.
Clinton Street Theater
The Clinton Street Theater opened
its doors in 1915, making it one of the
oldest operating theaters in the United
States. More than a screen and seats, the Clinton Street Theater is a Portland
staple that hosts community events,
educational panels, as well as live
performances. History is evident in The
Clinton’s timeworn carpets, and the smell
of popcorn is practically embedded in
the squeaky cloth seats. The Clinton has
been home to Portland’s “Rocky Horror
Picture Show” troupe since 1978 and has
welcomed many other punk, queer and
anarchist-centered medias. The deeply
entrenched community appreciation is
palpable. Performers and employees are
comfortable and confident within these
walls, and their love for the theater and its
values are evident.
Tickets typically hover around $10,
though longer screenings can be more
expensive while many community events
and screenings are free, so be sure to
check their website: cstpdx.com.
Avalon Theater
If seeing a movie is not the only thing
your night has in store, Avalon is the
theater for you. Part of the Portland-wide
Electric Castle Wunderland chain, the
Avalon Theater includes an arcade and
single-screen theater showing blockbuster
movies and children’s films. The culinary
experience is bare-bones: popcorn, soda
and ICEEs are available in concessions
and the theater itself is as expected.
Avalon is the perfect place to catch that
new Disney movie you have secretly been
wanting to see or experience the latest big-
ticket movie in a laid-back environment.
Tickets are $6 for shows before 6 p.m.
and $7.75 after. On Tuesdays, you can see
a film for $5 at the Avalon. Entry to the
arcade is $2 for adults, with most games
costing between $0.05 and $0.20 a turn.Captivating cinemas hold heart of community
Iconic, independent theaters invigorate film scene, evoke vintage feel for impassioned moviegoers
The Pio-stop bench offers adequate comfort to those waiting for their excursion.MAYA MAZOR-HOOFIEN/THE MOSSY LOG
While uncomfortable to sit on, these stone benches provide a prime sunbathing spot.MAYA MAZOR-HOOFIEN/THE MOSSY LOG
The many neon orange picnic benches outside the Bon, ensure outdoor seating for all.MAYA MAZOR-HOOFIEN/THE MOSSY LOGThe Clinton Street Theater is known for its Rocky Horror showings every weekend.CAROLINE DREW/THE MOSSY LOGThe Hollywood Theatre opened a free microcinema in the PDX airport, concourse C.CAROLINE DREW/THE MOSSY LOG
Selfless student quests to find greatest bench on campus, gallantly provides near comprehensive guide
By CORRINA CHAN
FIRST AND foremost, this is not
a response to any event that has
happened over this semester
and this is not an attack at any
specific professor. I am expressing my
frustrations at the difficult situation,
the expectations with accommodations
within a classroom setting, that many of
us are put in and many more than me
have expressed their frustrations at as
well. Please do not take this as a passive
aggressive way of me saying that I do
not appreciate the work my professors,
along with others, have done. I
understand that they do try their best.
This past year, I finally got
accommodations for my classes. I
thank the Office of Student Accessibility
(OSA) for taking the time to hear me
out personally and working with me to
establish goals and expectations for my academic needs. They include things
like being able to step out of class to take
medication with food when needed and
allowing extra time to do assignments
and miss class, if necessary.
Because OSA is unable to make a
set rule for all classes, I needed to talk
to my professors individually on what
these accommodations looked like
in their class. This is where I started
having issues.
While I am perfectly aware that there
are the rare few students who will look
at these accommodations as a “free pass”
to start skipping classes whenever they
want to, but you cannot make a sweeping
generalization to the rest of us.
I am aware that our disabilities might
make it harder for us to participate in
classes like the average student would,
but that does not mean that we are
using them to get special privileges just
because we can. There is a reason we have
accommodations and we should not
have to explain that. For the sake of my
argument, I will disclose my disability
of my own volition. I have serious chest
and back pains that, on bad days, make
it hard for me to breathe and move
around. On these days, especially when
I am doing projects and essays and
studying for midterms, I will need to
take necessary breaks and that can mean
resting up in my bed and missing my 9
a.m. class or taking an extra day to do
that one big essay that requires hours of
research and reading.
For me, this problem has made it
so that professors who are willing to
be lenient with me are the ones getting
the short end of the stick. Because of
professors who are unwilling to allow
an extra absence for me, I am forced to
miss a different one with a professor who
does provide this accommodation for
me. This is not only unfair for me, but
for other professors as well, ones who
are truly trying their hardest to be more
accepting. I should not have to ration
the days when I allow myself to be sick
or hurt.
Now, I am aware that, despite this,
I am responsible for my own decisions
and sometimes work too much, causing
my own pain. This is not what I am
necessarily talking about. It is when
professors do not allow extensions or
leniency with attendance because “class
is just so important.” I know it is. I know
lectures and discussions are important.
I know my peers are relying on me for
feedback. That is just what college is.
I am a senior and I know very well
what it is like to fall behind in a class.
If I am staying on track or even ahead
in my studies, assignments and group
projects — if you can acknowledge that
I am engaging in class discussions, then
why is it still an issue if I cannot get out
of bed today? The alternative is to sit in
on a class where I am so tired or I am in
so much pain that my eyes will not focus. A class I am not paying attention to is a
wasted class.
My peers are always willing to work
around my schedule and around my
disability because they know how hard it
is and they want me to get better before
it gets too bad. At one point during the
semester, several other students had to
kick me out of class because I tried to
attend when I had the flu. I did not feel
like I had any other choice.
In addition, there are those whose
mental health prevents them from
participation. There is a wider issue of
mental health where, while we may be
able to physically pull ourselves out of bed,
it is impossible for us to focus because of
our depression or burnout. So please, all I am asking for is
a consideration of us students who
may have accommodations that
look different and who might have
needs that go beyond what you feel is
comfortable for your expectations for
me within the classroom. I know it is
so much easier to provide for students
that only need accommodations such
as having a computer in class or extra
time on an exam.
I know there are people who will
abuse it. There always will be. But
applying that fear to all of us who may
have necessary requirements for our
own health is selfish and stubborn. I truly
love and respect all of my professors, but
my health is not negotiable.
By KAI MERMIS-CAVA
OVER THE PAST couple of years,
a meme has been circulating
online with the quote, “The
curtains were fucking blue.” This
references the idea that many teachers
will push students to look for the
symbolism in books, and use one’s
instincts to extract meaning from each
small detail.
This has become a subject of
popular complaint on the internet and,
as a result, has led to a lot of content
that claims to examine media without
actually understanding it.
Media literacy is the ability to
critically read and analyze stories
presented in media. This can be
used to determine the accuracy of
information, but it can also be used
to analyze symbolism and deeper
message. However, this term often
loses its meaning and value, especially
when used online.
A common example, which I
am sure we are all familiar with, is
the many “theories” one might see
on YouTube Shorts. Often, these
videos are read with a text-to-speech
generator, and instead of saying
anything meaningful, they simply
state an often well-known fact from
the media it claims to analyze and
label as a theory.
Fan theories are speculations about
media based on small clues dropped
throughout a book, movie or series.
Oftentimes, these theories might have
no real basis at all, but that is what
makes them fun. However, simply
stating facts from media is not a theory,
and these videos and their creators do
not seem to be aware of that.
With such a lack of awareness
around the substance of these videos, there becomes an issue with the
portrayal of “problematic” content in
any kind of media.
When this is discussed online, the
problematic content in question is often
abuse, rape or certain kinds of violence,
among others. This type of discourse
reappears on X every few months, and
every time, the platform blows up with
very little actual debate occurring.
A lack of media literacy online has
led to people being unable to realize
that creators are not condoning the
content they are portraying. While,
yes, sometimes the content is not
a perfect portrayal of the issue at
hand and deserves valid critique,
sometimes people just do not like the
fact that this content is being shown
at all and have come to the belief that
a creator is discussing certain content
means that they support it.
“The death of the author” is a
phrase that is often thrown around
online. However, the way it is used
online is quite far from the original
theory proposed by French philosopher
Roland Barthes in his 1967 essay by the
same name.
The main argument of the essay
was that the meaning of a text is
not determined by the author’s
intentions, but rather by the reader’s
interpretations. The author is not the
sole authority on the text. Thus, the
author’s intentions when writing the
original text do not matter.
Maybe the author had no intentions
when they made the curtains blue, but
we, as readers, can still find symbolism
and importance within that detail. A
piece of media cannot be analyzed, or
even fully understood, if you only use
surface-level analysis.
Though more common with older
texts, these intentions are often completely wrong since we have no
way of questioning the author about
their intentions.
Readers must draw connections
between details and symbolism in
the text because there is always some
sort of meaning or symbolism. Just because the author might not have
intended for it to be there does not
mean that there is not.
So, yes. Maybe the curtains are
just blue. But maybe they could mean
something more and just not impact
the audience of the piece of media. However, that does not take away
from the narrative use of the blue
curtains. There may not be a huge
intended impact, but it was still so
specific that the author sat down and
decided that the house needed to have
blue curtains. FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
OPINION 8
Relying solely on authorial intentions for symbolism creates lack of intricate, in-depth analysisProfessors must respect individualized needs
Lack of online media literacy obscures nuance, profundity
Unless otherwise stated, the views expressed in the Opinion section are NOT those of The Mossy Log and are held by the authors.ELLA DUNN/T HE MOSSY LOG
Analysis, conspiracy theory and prediction videos are often uploaded onto social media platforms such as Youtube and Tiktok.Attendance, accommodation policies need to be reevaluated, becoming health hazard for students
ROSALIE ZUCKERMANN/T HE MOSSY LOG
J FRANK/T HE MOSSY LOGBy ROBERT MANGER
APRIL FOOLS’ Day is a long
standing tradition in many
parts of the world. While
historians are unsure of how the
annual celebration came about, one
cannot deny the acceptance and
continuation of such a tradition.
Have you ever wished for a
day entirely made for tomfoolery?
One day out of the year when it is
appropriate to gaslight your friends
and “stick to the bit” longer than
usual (with a semblance of rationale
and ethics to bolster the sadistic
underpinnings of said tomfoolery, of
course?) I was surprised that most
people these days do not participate
in pranking.
According to a Statista Research
Department 2015 survey, only 20%
of adults said they were prepared to
prank another on April Fool’s Day. A
resurrection is in order. What we really
need at this moment is to bring back
the shenanigans and the real pranks of
the past.
Essentially, this holiday is an
excuse to gaslight your friends. As with
all fun, it is important to April Fools’
responsibly. No one wants to see their
friend traumatized by an epic prank
gone too far or regret having replaced
their friend’s shampoo with Nair.
However, while being conscientious
of the harm that their pranks can
cause to others is imperative, this does
not mean there is no room for some
lighthearted fun. Take The Mossy Log’s
April Fools’ Issue The Seaman Scoop
as a perfect example!
For those seeking to up their
participation in the international holiday, here are some relatively
lighthearted options that show some
better spirit:
Consider a good old fashioned
embellished story. No need to get too
wild on this one. Personal favorites
include referring to oneself as the
relative of a celebrity or “revealing” a
hidden backstory. Be sure to include
some tall tales to really sink it.
Another option is to replace your
friends’ items with something else or
hide them altogether. Just imagine
the look on their face when they think
they lost their new Stanley Cup.
Try resetting your roommate’s
alarm clock. This one is sure to
deliver a quick fright when they
believe they have overslept their class
by two hours, or when they wake at 4
a.m. thinking it is time to get up.
Honorable mentions include fake
bugs, fake dog poop, knee-slappers and
replacing chocolate chip cookies with
raisins… The bitter disappointment.
Short-sheeting beds and ding-dong
ditches are more lost arts.
Most importantly, be sure to shout
“April Fools’,” so that the prankee is
not left bewildered for too long. This
might also help restore some trust
that will surely be lost in the case of
larger pranks.
For those who engaged in the
holiday, expect some retaliation and
keep up your guard. Remember, it is
always more fun to be on the pranking
side of things, so be prepared to take
what you dish out. You have got it
coming, and rightfully so. This year,
I hope you had a harmless, yet silly,
April Fools’ day and will keep these
tips in mind when next year’s holiday
rolls around.By LEILA DIAZ
SKINCARE, haircare, bodycare.
The addition of the suffix -care”
is strange. It should go without
saying that we should be caring for
and maintaining our bodies to the
best of our abilities. After all, our skin
is the largest organ in our body, so it
makes perfect sense to have a routine
centered around its upkeep. However,
when “-care” is added to the end of the
word, it instead becomes a genre of
product, which can be narrowed down
by concern, age range, formulation,
benefits, concerns and more,
ultimately reducing the efficacy of real
care that is at the root of the label.
Skincare is a multibillion dollar
industry, and with the rise of
e-commerce sites and social media
over the last 10 years, it has only
continued to boom. The industry’s
concerns are not for the health of your
skin, but rather how they can expand
the demographic of people who buy
skincare products so it can increase its
revenue. Good skincare products are
meant to assist your skin’s functions,
not act in place of them. “Good” skin,
after all, is mostly determined by
whether you won the genetic lottery,
followed by your nutrition and health
and, of course, your age.
It is no secret that we are scared of
aging. “Good” skin is characterized by
its youthful, glowing, “soft as a baby’s
bottom” appearance. When you are
young, the amount of products you
“need” is less than when you are older.
This is due to young skin having more
elasticity and the ability to retain
water as it has more fat and collagen
in deeper tissue layers. As you age,
the production of these nutrients
decreases and outside assistance, in
the form of product, is sought out.
I am not anti-skincare. I, myself,
have a relatively complicated skincare
routine, which differs by time of day,
season and occasionally the amount
of effort I want to put in. I wear sunscreen daily and keep a sunscreen
stick on me at all times. I slug in the
winter and I steal retinol from my
mother’s cabinet when I am home. By
age 16, I had been doing the 10-step
Korean skincare routine for about
three years. Now, at age 20, I use a
three to five step evening routine (face
wash, toner, exfoliant, serum, eye
cream and moisturizer).
The reason I have reduced my
skincare routine is simply because I
did not need all of it. It was hard to
maintain with a busy schedule and, on
occasion, all that skincare would do
the opposite and just make me break
out. At the ages of 13 to 16, I had no
reason to be double cleansing my face
using an oil and a water cleanser if I
was not wearing makeup that day; I
did not need to be wearing eye cream
or essence because I had no fine lines
or wrinkles, as I was in the youthful
years of my teens. Sure, it was fun
sometimes to have an adult skincare
routine, but my skin — and yours as
well — already has mechanisms in
place to exfoliate itself, turn over
cells and do all the other things it is
supposed to do.
There is such a thing as “too
young” for skincare. Retinoids and
acids can be too harsh for young
skin and cause irritation, rashes and
hyperpigmentation. The tweens and
teens on my Tiktok “For You Page”
who are using brands such as Drunk
Elephant, Paula’s Choice, Glow Recipe
and other pricier products have been
made to make teenagers believe that
they need to invest in anti-aging
products now or else they will not be
beautiful when they are older.
Skincare, especially for those who
are just getting into it, should be taught
as a part of hygiene and caring for our
body rather than a way to prevent
aging. Regardless of age, we should all
embrace the skin we have and learn to
let it do its job. If you choose to take
away anything from this article, please
wear your sunscreen.FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
OPINION 9
Unless otherwise stated, the views expressed in the Opinion section are NOT those of The Mossy Log and are held by the authors.ROSALIE ZUCKERMANN/THE MOSSY LOGEmbracing whimsical fun of pranking key to April Fools’Skincare industry excessively markets to teens
Pushback on dwindling popularity of practical jokes, foster joy by participating in lighthearted holiday Emphasis on youthfulness should be rethought to revolutionize products use, beauty influencers
ROSE BIALK/THE MOSSY LOG
By MAYA MAZOR-HOOFIEN
A FEW WEEKS ago, we published
a wonderful Opinions article
about social media from our
very own Ella Dunn. As Copy Chief,
I read a lot of articles, and this one
really stuck with me. I thought this
might just have been because it was a
great piece, but that was only part of
it.
Ella wrote a lot of things I agree
with. Social media does suck you in,
profiting off of deteriorating your
mental health with prescriptions of
aesthetic unworthiness and bleedsing
you dry with microtrends that
encourage rampant consumerism out
of an ’80s capitalist’s wet dream.
Those are things I believe. I even
wrote a paper
about these
topics in high
school, but
that is not why
her piece stuck
with me.
It stuck with
me because it
is something
I might have
written myself
a year ago,
but the me of
today could
not. I am not
on social media
anymore, but I
would like to be. I know it is bad for me;
we all have that passive understanding
that it is a waste of time and is an evil
conglomerate echo chamber, but we
use it. I used to use it.
During the pandemic, I got
really into skin care. I learned a lot
— mostly from social media. I have
been a creative writer my whole life,
and social media has always been a
huge source of prompts, inspiration
and motivation for me. A lot of my
sense of humor has been shaped on
the internet, as has my generational
identity therein. While I would not
dream of claiming myself an expert in Gen-Z comedy, I will proudly declare
my appreciation of the form.
Also during the pandemic, social
media was a fantastic way to stay in
contact with my high school friends.
I developed a lot of my humor on
my Close Friends story during those
years, jesting for my theater friends
and starting a domino effect that in
a very real way led to this Monday’s
April Fools’ issue. For all its faults,
social media is a tool that I loved to
use, and I feel that I learned to use it
very well.
“If you love social media so much,”
you may be asking, “why do you use
the past tense?”
Your keen eye for verb conjugations
brings us to the core of the reason
I pitched this piece. I could spin a
thread about
my mental
health or
the time I
was wasting,
which are
both true, but
are also not
the answer to
your question.
The answer is
actually very
frustrating in
its simplicity.
I stopped
using social
media because
of the war.
A lot changed for me after October
7, the details of which I will not regale
you with. I have seen my fair share of ill-
informed Israel content throughout my
life; not only recently but also in April
of 2021 and the summer of 2022, the
list goes on. One of the many things
my community dealt with was taking
a collective break from Instagram,
because it was that or stick around
and have words put in our mouths. It
is something we are used to, and is so
familiar that it is mechanized. We post
whatever it is we care about, we argue
in our DM’s because we can not help
ourselves, and it affects us. Rinse and repeat. We write off people who post
things that we disagree with because
we are just as guilty as anyone else of
digging our heels in.
One of my favorite things about
humans beings is our ability to
discuss. This is why I chose to go to
college, specifically of the small liberal
arts variety. This is also why I am a
journalist. When people talk to each
other, really talk and exchange ideas
and perspectives, magic happens. I see
it in classes, I see it at The Mossy Log
and I have not seen it on social media
for a long time.
I have watched social media
tear people apart, watched how it
impacts the real world and skews our
understanding of it. I have always
loved using social media, but it became
too much of an antithesis to everything
else I believe in. As a lover of talk, as a
journalist and as a Jew (and a person
increasingly aware of how these
identities overlap), what I was seeing
was affecting me too severely, cutting
too often and too deep. So enough had
to be enough.
Some weeks into October, I
installed an app on my phone that
locks me out of social media after a
few minutes and gives me a few uses
a day. It is called ScreenZen and it
is free and I can not recommend it
enough. Very quickly, I stopped using
social media unless I was looking up
something specific, usually for my
Mossy Log responsibilities because I
am nothing if not on-brand. I never
thought of myself as needing to
control or limit my time online, and I
have always been hesitant to employ
any kind of “strategy.” But push came
to dramatic shove, I tried it and it has
worked for me.
The past six months have been
transformative. I have learned about
myself, my various communities, my
own values and the world around me.
I have changed immensely in some
ways, and in others I have steadfastly
held to who I have always been. I
understand more deeply what it
means to be grieving, relieved, alone, supported, visible, ignored, privileged,
marginalized, vocal and silenced. I have
feigned neutrality and held my tongue
or harnessed courage and spoken out.
But for the most part, for lack of any
sustainable alternative, I have observed,
and it affects me.
I think this is why Ella’s article stuck
with me: because I no longer relate to it.
I think I would like to one day get back
into social media, older and wiser, and
kill time looking at inspo pics and skin
care trends and stupid things that make
me laugh. Because I miss feeling in the loop and connected. I miss using that
tool for everything it had to offer me.
Social media, at its best, is an
equalizer. For better or worse,
everyone gets a voice, and though
algorithms and advertising money
interfere, this is what separates socials
from their pop media counterparts. At
its worst, it is polarizing, anonymizing
and paralyzing, and I have seen
some of its very worst in the past
few months. But I also know things
change. And that I have changed. And
that I really miss Twitter.
By ELI KESSLER
HAVE YOU EVER crossed
the street on campus, only
to have a vehicle zoom past
you, blatantly ignoring the stop sign?
Well, this scenario has become all
too common, posing a serious threat
to pedestrian safety. As someone
who has experienced these close
calls more times than I can count
on two hands, I can attest to the
urgency of addressing this issue.
Picture that one-way road we
have on campus, starting at Gate
5 which then leads to a crucial
stop sign junction next to Maggie’s
Plaza. Turning left at the stop sign
takes you to the back parking lot of
Fowler and Howard Hall’s parking lot, while turning right leads to
various destinations including the
Mailroom, Platt and Copeland Halls,
making it a busy pedestrian area.
However, instead of adhering to the
designated traffic flow, it appears that
numerous drivers often choose to run
the stop sign, which ends up putting
pedestrians and other drivers at risk.
These careless drivers are not just
young students, meaning we cannot
write this off as young people who
do not have much driving experience
being careless about traffic laws or
safety. Just as I have noticed students
acting out this behavior, I have also
seen faculty members and facilities
vehicles engaging in this recklessness.
So, it begs the question: Why is
there an overall disregard for such a
fundamental traffic rule that aims to
protect other drivers and pedestrians?
One potential explanation I have
come to is a lack of awareness or
oversight. People may disregard the
traffic rules they use on city roads
when on a college campus. The
frequency of offenses and diversity
of offenders suggest a deeper issue
at play. There may be a systemic
failure in educating drivers about
campus traffic regulations, or a lack
of accountability. More broadly,
this pattern may reveal a prevailing
disregard for pedestrian safety in
society at large.
So what can be done to address
this issue? First, a collaborative effort
to educate all members of the campus
community about the importance
of adhering to traffic regulations
could be implemented. In addition,
enhanced signage and infrastructure improvements might also contribute
to a safer environment on our campus.
Moreover, stricter enforcement
measures, such as cameras and
video enforcement, could also be
implemented to potentially deter repeat offenders and promote
accountability.
The issue of traffic violations in
this specific section of campus is not
just about following rules, it is about
prioritizing the safety and well-being of everyone in the community. By
working together to address this issue,
we can create an environment where
pedestrians can navigate without
fear and where drivers can commute
responsibly. FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
OPINION 10
Traffic regulations, new signs, education would make campus navigation more pedestrian-friendlySocial media rest promotes needed reflection
Reckless driving at busy intersections hinders safety“I have watched social media
tear people apart, watched how
it impacts the real world and
skews our understanding of it. I
have always loved using social
media, but it became too much
of an antithesis to everything
else I believe in. ”Intentional distance from cyclical online spaces brings clarity perspective for healthier consumption
ELI KESSLER//THE MOSSY LOG
Cars driving down the road parallel to Roberts and West Halls often speed or ignore the stop sign, causing hazardous conditions.
LILLIAN SMALL/THE MOSSY LOG
EMMA FORD/THE MOSSY LOG
Unless otherwise stated, the views expressed in the Opinion section are NOT those of The Mossy Log and are held by the authors.Sports Medicine specialists ensure
players’ safety, rehabilitate athletes
By ELLA DUNN
WHEN ATTENDING any
sporting event, the attention
of the spectators tends to
be focused on the players. But what
about the people on the sidelines? More
specifically, what about the people who
make sure the athletes stay healthy?
Sports medicine specialists help athletes
both directly after an injury, knowing
proper transportation procedures of
an injured person, as well as
during the (often) many
months after an injury
during rehabilitation.
They work to help
athletes get back on
their feet and
ready to
play again,
and avoid
future
injuries.
Jeremy
Loew ’95,
Lewis &
Clark’s head
athletic trainer,
works primarily administrating the
sports medicine department. He
got his undergraduate degree in
Communications — now known as
Rhetoric and Media Studies — here
at LC. During his time here, he was
a student athlete on the baseball
team, while also clocking hours as an
worker in the training room.“It took me a couple years to figure
out that this was what I wanted to
get into. ... There were classes I had
to take to sit for the athletic training
boards, so I took those on the side
through summer school and cross-
registration,” Loew said. “I worked
for about five years in professional
baseball before going back to grad
school. After I had been out of
school for a year,
a position
opened up
here. As fun
as it was to be in
pro athletics, I enjoy
working with different
sports
here.”
Loew
went
on to
detail
a day in his
life working with
athletes and other sports
medicine workers.
“Yesterday I got here at
5:30 in the morning for football
practice. We spend an hour leading
into practice getting our supplies
ready and taking care of whatever
athletes’ needs are to get them ready.
For football, specifically, we sit out
there at practice, keeping an eye on
things, prepared in case something
goes wrong. The time after practice
is usually spent on injury treatment or care, and sometimes
just routine
rehabilitation
with
specific
athletes,”
said Loew.
After
that initial
morning
rush, the
sports medicine
workers are
generally in their
office throughout
the day for support
and safety, until all
team practices end.
Student athletes receive
free access to the sports
medicine program.
“For the most part,
teams don’t practice
unless someone from
my staff is physically
in the building and
available. For off-site
sports, we try to make
sure we are available by
phone,” said Loew.
The staff of certified
professionals consists of
four people — and there
are a tremendous amount
of teams on campus. The
department also employs
student workers, most of whom have
an academic interest in medicine and physical therapy and are looking to gain
clinical experience. Having extra hands
helps so that the staff of trainers do not
spread themselves too thin. They also
host interns from Pacific University’s
Athletic Training Master’s Program.
“(The student workers) are kind
of just extensions of our hands.
We teach them to tape ankles
and wrists, and how to run the
equipment to help with running
treatments at our instruction,”
said Loew. “They fill water
bottles, wipe tables, and fill
tubs — but those are all
things that we do ourselves
as well. It’s an opportunity
for them to be inside the
ropes with us but without
the pressure of a decision-
making position. There’s no
question that we could not
reach as many athletes as
we do without our student
workers. They are a big part
of what we do and a huge
support to student athletes.”
Loew and the sports
medicine staff play a huge
part in keeping our
athletes healthy
and our teams
successful.
Make sure
that you
keep a look
out for them on
the sidelines at games!
By ROSALIE ZUCKERMANN
HOLD YOUR hoops, folks —
the much awaited national
basketball phenomenon has
at last hit the stadiums. This past
month has been an eventful one for
the NCAA as 68 teams compete in
March Madness. If, like me, you may
not be exceptionally versed (or even
literate) in the world of basketball,
consider this your amateurly
researched crash course. There is no
reason to stay away from the thrilling
drama on the courts.
Every year, the best men’s Division I
basketball teams are chosen on Selection
Sunday by a 12-person committee
of conference administrators and
commissioners. Decisions are typically
based on statistics, quality of wins and
rigor of schedules, factored in with
a model called the NCAA Evaluation
Tool which ranks teams based on their
records. Many teams already know if
they will be chosen, since the winners
of the 32 conference tournaments leading up to March automatically get
a spot. At-large teams, however, are
considered “on the bubble,” meaning
that the decision could swing either way
for them.
This year, Selection Sunday took
place on St. Patrick’s Day. Not only are
the teams who make the cut released,
but who they are assigned to compete
in a game (seeded) against and where
they will play. The seeding is based on
the rankings of the teams one through
68, so first the bottom four teams
play each other to root out the worst
of the bunch in a round called the
First Four. March Madness, Selection
Sunday, First Four? The NCAA sure
loves their alliteration.
After this preliminary round,
the remaining 64 teams are divided
up by region (South, Midwest, East
and West) and then seeded again
in their groups of one through 16.
Number one teams play number 16
teams, number two play number
15 and so on. The top seeds of each
region this year are the University of Connecticut, the University of North
Carolina at Chapel Hill, Purdue
University and the University of
Houston, with Connecticut as the top
overall seed.
The path from 68 teams to just
one winner in March Madness is
most frequently visualized as a
fractal tree diagram made up of many
brackets. Almost 58% of proposed
brackets included UConn making it
to the Final Four — more than any
other team. 41% of brackets predicted
Houston making it, 36% picked
North Carolina and 35% percent
picked Purdue. Who knew there was
so much math in basketball?
The recent schedule played out
with the First Four on March 19-20,
the first round on March 21-22, the
second round on March 23-24, the
Sweet 16 on March 28-29 and the Elite
Eight on March 30-31. The Final Four
games will take place April 6 at State
Farm Stadium in Glendale, Arizona
and the championship game will be
two days later in the same location. At the time of this article’s
composition, some notable wins have
already surprised fans around the
country. Seeded eight and nine in the
East region, Florida Atlantic, which was
in the Final Four a few years ago, lost
to Northwestern in an overtime game.
Oakland Golden Grizzlies, seeded 14, beat
Kentucky Wildcats, seeded third, flipping
the brackets on their heads. Three out
of four number 11 teams, Duquesne
University, University of Oregon and
North Carolina State beat out the number
six teams they played against.
Since the first national basketball
competition was played in 1939 with
only eight teams (won by the University
of Oregon!) March Madness has
continued to expand all the way into
2011 when the 68 team number we
have now was reached. As the games
continue to heat up, make sure you
catch the scores and follow the rapidly
shifting plot of this year’s addition to
a long and rich history of beautiful
basketball bonanzas (the NCAA is not
the only one who can alliterate).
Editor-in-Chief
Amelia DoyleManaging Editor
Rosalie Zuckermann
News Editors
Emma Ambroziak
Ava FrisonOpinion Editors
Corrina Chan
Tanvi ShuklaFeatures Editors
Leila Diaz
Olivia Fendrich Arts Editors
Caroline Drew
Corryn Pettingill
Sports Editors
Lillian Small
Will TrunzoThe Backdoor Editor
Emma FordVisuals Editor
J FrankCopy Chief
Maya Mazor-Hoofien
Head of Broadcasting
Isaac BabusBusiness Manager
Lauren EvansOutreach Coordinator
Summer Dae BinderWeb Manager
Claire BakkeFaculty Advisor
Molly Robinson
Writers Photographers & Illustrators
Ella Dunn*
Robert Manger*
Jay Nelson*
Jessie Shaw*Kevin Matisheck*
Kai Mermis-Cava
Eli KesslerRose Bialk
Ella Dunn*
Eli Kessler*Members of staff team
Players in the NCAA tournament vie for spots in the next rounds to prove their mettle.COURTESY OF THE NCAA
From brackets to seeding, follow basketball
newbie’s journey into world of March MadnessUpcoming
games
Friday, April 5
Track and Field
at John Knight Twilight
McArthur Field - Monmouth, OR
12:00 p.m.
Saturday, April 6
Rowing Covered Bridge Regatta
Dexter Lake - Eugene, OR
8:30 a.m.
Rowing
Pioneer/Pilot Invitational
Vancouver Lake - Vancouver, WA
9:00 a.m.
Women’s Tennis
at Willamette University
Salem, OR
11:00 a.m.
Men’s Tennis
at Whitman College
Portland, OR
11:00 a.m.
Baseball
vs. Pacific Lutheran University
Huston Sports Complex - Portland, OR
12:00 p.m. and 3:30 p.m. Double header
Softball
at Whitworth University
Spokane, WA
12:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m. Double header
Sunday, April 7
Softball
at Whitworth University
Spokane, WA
11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. Double header
Women’s and Men’s Golf
Northwest Conference Spring Classic
The Home Course - DuPont, WA
11:21 a.m. (Women)
2:12 p.m. (Men)
Men’s Tennis
at University of Puget Sound
Tacoma, WA
12:00 p.m.
Women’s Tennis
vs. University of Puget Sound
Lewis and Clark Tennis Dome
12:00 p.m.
Monday, April 8
Women’s and Men’s Golf
Northwest Conference Spring Classic
The Home Course - DuPont, WA
7:45 a.m. (Women)
9:06 a.m. (Men)
Track and Field
NWC Multis Championship
Willamette University - Salem, OR
11:00 a.m.
J FRANK / THE MOSSY LOGJ FRANK / THE MOSSY LOGSPORTSFRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2024
11By ELLA DUNN
NATURALLY, everybody has their
own Spring Break memories
on their minds; the places they
visited, the people they banged and
the fruity cocktails they so classily
sipped (chugged). But nobody is
asking the important questions: What
did our beloved professors do with
their Spring Breaks?
The Backdoor is going TMZ, bitches!
We got exclusive info from students
who saw them over vacation to get those
answers for you. From affairs to property
crimes, we have the dirt. Feel free to send
your blind items to us on Instagram!
The Drama-turd: Your least favorite,
problematic English Professor was
spotted at a Portland pub going on
a drunken rant about why he hates
minorities, and how blackface is
“acceptable in theatre.” Uh oh! The
video of his speech is circulating on the
Lewis & Clark YikYak – try to catch it
before his lawyer does!
Work-Study: A certain Physics professor
visited the local glory holes — this
information was provided by a student
worker, who claimed they recognized
his grunts through the wall. He has since
issued a public apology, stating in his
defense “All I could see was the hole!” That
said, what are the chances?
Breaking Bad: Surprising no one,
the Chemistry department’s meth lab
under Olin got busted over the weekend
right before we all came back. The smell
blended in enough amongst the many
other drug-adjacent scents here on
campus, but it was bound to happen
sometime. Word has it Reed’s competing
drug ring tipped off the police. OUR word
is that “Breaking Bad” pastiches were SO
a decade ago. Grow up and deal heroin
like a real Pacific Northwesterner.Fallin’ All Over Himself: Speaking
of sexual hijinx, a well-hated music
teacher slipped and fell inside of a
woman who was NOT his wife. Oops!
The scoop is that we know it was
another LC professor, but we are not
quite sure who…
T-P and Pee-Pee: RHMS did not
escape the drama for once — one
professor, a favorite amongst students,
was seen TPing Watzek. What an
interesting commentary on media
literacy! She then proceeded to piss on
the entryway in triumph before engaging
in a high-speed foot chase with CamPo.
Champagne Problems: Yet another
problematic English professor
(interesting correlation here; someone
should really look into that) spent
his Wednesday downtown waving
hundred-dollar bills in the faces of
Portland’s homeless population.
Funny, who would have guessed
professors made enough to be classist
about it?
Bender-Schnitzel: We caught wind
that a German professor gambled the majority of her salary away before
going on an anxiety-induced bender,
relapsing and destroying her streak of
one month without using shrooms, of
all things. Only at LC.
Crossing the Aisle: A well-loved
Poli Sci professor was spotted among a
group of increasingly violent protestors
holding signs and screaming “Women
For Trump!” Her return to campus was
not what she expected it to be, to say the
least. On her, we suppose — everyone
knows the Poli Sci department is a
one-party party.
Coach Better Have My Money:
Lastly, a staff member from the
Athletics department was playing
Ultimate Frisbee when one of his tosses
went awry and buried itself in the soft
skull of a toddler, who was hospitalized
soon after. The toddler is fine, but the
staff member’s wallet is not.
In other news, we hear the president
had a very relaxing, drama-free week
with her family! Congratulations Dr.
Sparrow Houses-Gilbert, you know
that we at The Backdoor love you!
FRIDAY, ARPIL 5, 2024
12
ROSALIE ZUCKERMANN/THE MOSSY LOGProfs Gone Wild: Faculty on
break push limits of tenureEaster Bunny sparks
mass psilocybin trip
Spring Break souvenirs to dig out
of one’s bag for friends, liked onesAll our love to the good people of YikYak!
By JESSIE SHAW
HEY PIOS! I hope you enjoyed
your Spring Break, though
I would imagine the stress
of upcoming finals was looming. I
also hope some of you brought back
some cool souvenirs you found on
your travels. If you failed to, that is
okay! You could always try again next
Spring Break or grab some stuff this
weekend and pretend your bag got
lost so it “only just got here, man!”
In this case, I will lay out a list of
the best stuff to entertain yourself,
share with your friends or prank your
shitty exes with to distract from what
lies ahead.
1) Fake Taxidermied bunnies:
As Easter happened during Spring
Break, some festive items you should
bring back are the fake taxidermied
bunnies you found at a charmingly
podunk roadkill
shop. You can
give this
to that annoyingly militant vegan girl next
door to you — we know you have one.
To do this, leave the fake bunnies by
her door and make sure you do not
indicate that you gave them to her
(though she might know it was you if
you have been a jerk about soy curls in
front of her). If she ends up finding out
it was you, tell her that they were fake.
Vegans have a great sense of humor!
2) Ugly clothes
There is seldom a Christmas or
birthday without hideous clothes given
to you by your extended relatives. The
beauty of being in college is that you
can collect the most hideous clothes
from the back of your closet and bring
them to school so they can find new
wearers. Whether it is that grotesque
flower and bumble bee printed sweater
your grandma gave you last Christmas
or the dick-printed t-shirt you got tired
of wearing, give them the chance to
find someone who will cherish them.
Remember to tell them you thrifted it
just for them.
3) Sex toys
These would be dedicated to
that couple in your residence that
enjoys fucking in the common room,
much to your disgust or possible
entertainment. As finals approach,
offer them the abundant sex toys you
found in your house’s basement to let them
perform their most hedonistic
sexual acts, whether it is through
private BDSM play or hosting orgies
in the resident hall’s laundry room
to avoid trouble. Hopefully, they do
not go crazy for too long…
4) Alcohol
As the school year is coming to a
close, what is a better way to celebrate
this than with the Devil’s juice? Go
somewhere nearby school and “legally”
buy cheap vodka or a twelve-pack of
fruity hard seltzer. Afterwards, get the
party started! Tell people you got it in
a country where the drinking age is 18,
because OTHER countries know adults
should get to drink!
5) A Jar of Dirt
Yes. Literally just a jar of dirt.
Forgetting the possibly problematic
movie reference, sling some soil
into the first receptacle you can
find. Present it to the friend who
has it all, make a vague statement
about pushing back against rampant
consumerism and tell them exactly
where on the globe you got it as a
very special memory for them about
YOUR trip to Salem or Fresno or
wherever you were able to drive to.
Conclusion
Before fretting over finals, bring
some crazy shit from your hometown
or somewhere off campus to soothe
yourself or share with others.
Whether you bring fake taxidermy to
jumpscare hardcore vegans, hideous
clothes, sex toys for horny folks
to enjoy, alcohol or a jar of simple
dirt make the last month your best!
Hopefully you pass your finals!By KAI MERMIS-CAVA
OVER EASTER weekend,
an incident was recorded
involving the Lewis & Clark
campus falling into temporary
disrepair and chaos. Despite being
a creature previously known only in
children’s stories, the Easter Bunny
saw fit to visit campus, distributing
treats for the college students.
However, unbeknownst to
everyone about to consume them,
these mystery chocolate eggs were
anything but normal.
Even with the institutional
familiarity that LC students have
with recreational substances, not
one recognized the taste of shrooms
in the chocolate before everything
had been consumed. The majority
of the chocolates were consumed
when students picked them up off the
ground, hidden in loose bricks or from
wherever else they had been hidden,
suggesting that those who consumed
the chocolates had decided they were
not going to think things through.
As a result of the shroom-laced
chocolate, campus was quickly
overrun with students on an acutely
intense high, and the resulting
shenanigans were uniquely LC.
In the first-ever instance of an LC
student enjoying Bon food, a student
was rescued after spending 12
hours curled in a booth in
Fields Dining Hall as a result
of munchies from the
shroom-laced chocolate.
Authorities had
to remove the
student from
the Bon after
they began
to scream
about the
unreliability
of Bon bagels
after 6:30 p.m.
on any given day
of the week.
Additional
reports indicate
that a
member of the
Entrepreneurship
program
kidnapped
a Computer
Science major and
took them to the top of the water tower,
all the while imitating the harmonious
soundtrack of “King Kong.” The
campus robotics team constructed a
Godzilla-like contraption in order to
combat this, and a local improv troupe
has announced auditions for the role
of Mario Mario. Further developments
will be covered in Issue 6 in two weeks.
Stay tuned.
Multiple students have reported
the recreation of the popular Disney
film “Toy Story,” claiming that their
stuffed animals have begun speaking
to them. Mossy Log reporters have been unable to verify these events.
Unrelated, many of the reporters are
currently face down on the front lawn.
This in no way should reflect on the
quality of LC’s journalism.
Furthermore, three students have
been found passed out at the Gazebo.
This is nothing unusual, and no
evidence has been found that links the
cause to the drug bunnies.
Several students on campus have
reported the gathering of human
sacrifices in preparation for the
upcoming solstice. The students
gathered appear to have been freshmen
underperforming in their classes,
particularly users of AI-generated
content in Words classes.
The location of the Theatre majors
is unclear, though reports indicate
they may be roaming the forest for
reasons unknown. If you see one,
do not approach. Currently, we are
operating under the assumption that
they are following the rules of the fae.
Do not give them your name, do not
eat anything they offer you and be
polite. If you do not, God help you,
because we will not.
What is more, the statue of the
Newfoundland mascot, Pio, previously
located in front of Pamplin Gym,
has gone missing in a heist by the
Crew Team. In seeming agreement,
although with no words being spoken,
their boat was abandoned in the school
pool in favor of larcenous pursuits.
Though poorly planned, the
heist was successful and the
Newfoundland statue remains
unfound despite mass efforts.
An alliance of vegan
students appear to be the only
ones who have escaped the
epidemic of shroom-laced
chocolate. They did not
eat any of the
chocolate, since
it contained
dairy. As a
result of their
personal
moral
crusades,
they appear
to be the
only sober
students
left on campus.
Currently, they
have all barricaded
themselves in a quad in Copeland
using tofu bricks. We can hardly
blame them.
The Easter Bunny fled campus
before the culprit could be found. It
is unclear exactly why Campus Safety
allowed the Easter Bunny to escape,
let alone why they did not stop a large,
semi-humanoid rabbit wandering
campus without a parking permit.
In the wake of the chaos on campus,
calls to ban the Easter Bunny from
future events on campus, as well as to
hire sniffer dogs to check all sweets,
which has been more controversial.
J FRANK/THE MOSSY LOG
EMMA FORD/THE MOSSY LOG
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