Lewis & Clark College

The Pioneer Log: Lewis & Clark College's Student-Run Newspaper

Volume 74, Number 3

Lewis & Clark College Student Newspaper

Pioneer Log Staff

2009-09-01

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newspaper

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Lewis & Clark College: Pioneer Log / Mossy Log

Volume 74, Number 3 Friday, September 18, 2009 Alphabetizing Freshmen
Science symposium draws crowds
Dr. Vilayanur S. Ramachandran lectures on phantom limbs, synesthesia, body image, and neuroscience.Vote for
Senate now
by Tom Meath
by Angela Webber
John Coffi n, DJ Furth, Raman
Voorhis and Doug Surgenor.
Cont. on pg. 2, ELECTION“It used to be people thought the brain
was made of speci/f_i c modules, each leading
to the other like a bucket brigade system,”
said Professor Vilayanur S. Ramachandran
MD, PhD. “/T_h at is total garbage. We have a
totally dynamic brain, with skin as an output to the outside.”
Students packed into Council Chambers,
over/f_l owing into the aisles and spilling onto
the /f_l oor, to listen to Dr. Ramachandran
deliver the keynote lecture for the Science Without Limits Symposium.
/T_h e Science Without Limits Symposium
is aimed at showcasing emerging interdis-
ciplinary work in science and encouraging
a wide interest in the sciences. /T_h is year’s symposium, focusing on development in the /f_i eld of neuroscience, took place on T uesday
and Wednesday.
Howard Hughes Medical Institute
(HHMI), a non-pro/f_i t medical organization
that focuses on biomedical research and sci-ence education, funded the symposium. /T_h e organization also runs an undergraduate sci-ence education grant that pairs undergradu-ate students with high school outreach stu-dents to work with local researchers.
Dr. Ramachandran, director of the Cen-
ter of Brain and Cognition as well as profes-sor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of California, San Diego, began his lecture by describing his work. By look-ing at the brains of individuals with very spe-ci/f_i c dysfunctions, he attempts to determine neurological reasons for those dysfunctions.
His presentation style and humor ap-
pealed to the large audience of students and professors, who laughed uproariously throughout the presentation.
“He was awesome and had crazy Einstein
hair,” said Caitlin Harper (’10). “He de/f_i -nitely had a grasp on how to use humor in a lecture.”
/T_h e /f_i rst example he presented was that of
a man who believes that an identical stranger has replaced his mother. Dr. Ramachandran described the disorder as a breakdown be-tween the fusiform gyrus (the part of your brain that recognizes faces) and the amyg-dala (the part of your brain that attributes emotional responses).
“/T_h e amygdala generates all the responses you get from seeing a lion, or tiger, or mom,” said Dr. Ramachandran. “All of you are emo-tionally aroused when you see your mother; you don’t have to be Jewish.”
According to Dr. Ramachandran, the pa-
tient recognizes the face as his mother’s, but does not experience the emotional response that he feels about his mother.
/T_h is theory diff ers greatly from the previ-
ous Freudian theory, that a blow to the head reawakens Oedipal sexual urges toward the mother, making her seem foreign.
“Freudian theories are mostly bullshit,”
said Ramachandran. “Some people have the same response about their dogs. /T_h ey will say, ‘/T_h is is not my Fi/f_i !’”
He then spoke on the issue of phantom
limb syndrome, where amputees report feel-ing sensation, in their missing limb. Patients often report that the missing limb is para-lyzed in an uncomfortable position. Ram-achandran used a mirror to make it look like the patients had two moving hands. /T_h ese patients reported relief from pain and the ability to “move” the phantom limb.
/T_h is eff ect is similar to the phenomenon
of mirror neurons. Mirror neurons /f_i re not only when a person picks up a peanut, but also when a person watches someone else pick up a peanut.
“/T_h ese are the Gandhi Neurons, the ul-
timate example of empathy,” said Dr. Ra-machandran. “We are all being connected by mirror neurons—like MySpace or Face-book.”
In addition to Dr. Ramachandran’s key-
note speech, the symposium consisted of a number of discussions, lectures and presen-tations.
Professor Fernan Jaramillo, Ph.D., a biol-
ogy professor at Carleton College also deliv-ered two lectures.
Students who participated in summer re-
search, either through HHMI or Rogers pro-grams, presented posters detailing the results
of their summer internships. /T_h e poster ses-
sion was held on Wednesday in Smith Hall.
Rebecca Salesky (’10) presents her research poster on gene identifi cation.
/T_h e election for Student Sen-
ate goes on until midnight tonight.
/T_h ree members of each class will be selected to serve on the new ASLC representative body. Ballots were sent out via e-mail on Wednesday. /T_h e
Pioneer Log asked each of the candi-
dates to report to us one thing they dislike about LC and a realistic goal they would pursue as a senator.
Seniors:
John Coffi n
Dislike: Today in a meeting with
some constituants we hit on how it sucks having the grill closed so early all the time, however personally I bake.
Goal: Probably move some more
attention onto the school’s image, the t-shirts in the bookstore...you know because that’s what the admin should really be thinking about. DJ Furth
Dislike: Bon food goes right
through you; too fast, too furious.
Goal: I hope that I’ll be able to
work towards altering policies and making changes that my friends and peers feel need attention, such that life at LC is ideal.Doug Surgenor
Dislike: I do not like the way that
the College forces its students to be inactive critics of policies. Recreat-ing the Senate is a huge step for the College in terms of letting students get involved.
Goal: /T_h e /f_i rst year Senate will be
able to change students’ perceptions of how things are run at the College, and their ability to become an active part of their environment. Raman Voorhis
Dislike: I dislike the current way
in which textbooks are chosen; I
believe they should be on a rental
system so that students do not spend
needlessly.
Goal: My one realistic goal is to
change the way in which RAs are
selected so that they can become a
part of the community in such a way
that they do not have to provide the muscle.Seniors running for Senate:
PHOTOS BY ETHAN STONEVolume 73, Number 1 News 2 the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
Pioneer
Log
the
Editors in ChiEf:
Sanne Stienstra &
Angela Webber
nEws Editor :
Tom Meath
forum Editors :
Stephen Maxwell
Liz Holliday
fEatur Es Editors :
Deanna Horton &
Eddie Barksdale
arts Editors :
Caitlin McCarthy &
Liam O’Connor
sports Editors :
Nichole Carnell &
Michael Richman
BaCkdoor Editor :
Dietrich Lawson
illustration Editor :
Emily Block
illustrators :
Alima Larson,
Katelyn Mundal &
Brad Jonas
photo Editor :
Sam Margevicius
photographErs :
Maggie Oliver, Alexa
Johnson, Cathy Grella,
Lucca Cirolia & Ethan
Stone
hEad Copy Editor :
Missy Weldon
Copy Editors :
Laura Nash, Robin Cedar,
Jordan Eagen
& Kathleen Daly
staff writErs : Sophia Diaz,
Robin Aubry, Lee Yang,
Madelyn Toriano, Kathryn
Miller & Joshua Kaplan
wEBmastEr :
Heather Brooke Scoles
BusinEss managEr :
Danny Garcia
advisor :
Peter Christenson
***
The pionEEr log serves to
inform the Lewis & Clark com -
munity on issues of concern
to students. We are commit -
ted to the free and articulate
expression of ideas. We do not
discriminate based on ethnic -
ity, gender, sexual orienta -
tion, disability, age or class.
We reserve the right to refuse
to print any advertisement,
submission, or article that
does not meet the standards
of the pionEEr log. Advertise -
ments, Letters to the Editor
and Editorials do not neces -
sarily reflect the opinions of
the pionEEr log or Lewis &
Clark College.
***
The Pioneer Log
0615 SW Palatine Hill Rd.
MSC 121
Portland, OR 97219
E-mail: piolog@lclark.edu
The pionEEr log is funded by your
student fees.Senate Election: your candidates speak
Adlai Arnold
Dislike: The new Bon food policy. Sometimes I’m
running late and need to grab a sandwich, you know?
Goal: To revamp the student constitution for
greater transparency.
Lindsey Hurlburt
Dislikes: I do not like the seemingly exponential growth in tuition.
Goal: I hope to be able to make the administrative
authorities more responsive to, and aware of student
needs.
Jarre Lyman
Dislikes: I’m not a fan of how impractically strict
the Bon’s new no-food takeout rule is—really: are you going to put that ice cream and cone in your pocket
for later?
Goal: I’d like to facilitate a closer communica -
tion between the student body and those responsible
for many of the directly student-affecting policies at a
much more effectual level.
T emesghen Habte
Dislike: I dislike the widely accepted belief among
students of their voice is not being heard, the general
populations apathetic tendencies toward student gov -
ernment and needless spending by both the school and
student government.
Goal: I will strive to meet these challenges by high -
lighting the concerns of my constituents in pushing
forward bills of other solutions aimed at solving these
issues.
Knhick Haefner
Dislike: If LC is one of the most liberal colleges in
the U.S., and if we are so active in the community and
Portland’s issues, why has ASLC struggled to have op -
posed positions and active government in the school?
Goal: I’m interested to see what the senate can do. I definitely want to see an active, approachable senate
that students can communicate with.
Simon Hudes
Dislike: I don’t particularly like the new rules the
Bon has this year about not being allowed to take out
even a single piece of food.
Goal: As Senator, I feel I would have more power to
bring students’ concerns to our institution’s attention
through honest discussion; our needs must be better
heard and met.
Jillian Johnson
Goal: My goals if elected, will be to regularly seek
out the opinions of my classmates to communicate
their wishes and needs to other ASLC representatives,
and to help form of legislation to cater to those wishes
and needs.Goldann Salazar
Dislike: As a new student here, (I am a transfer)
the lack of diversity in ethnicity as well as diversity in
socioeconomic status.
Goal: I really just hope to better bring the students
of LC together as a senator, and to get ice cream cones
in the Bon.
Jared Schy
Dislike: I don’t like the disparate nature of our
campus.  People have their own small groups, but as a
whole, I don’t feel we are connected. 
Goal: I want to serve as one of the voices of our
class, advocating for what sophomores want at our
school now, and not when we have graduated. Juniors
Sophomores
First-years
Madeline Cavazos
Dislike: We [LC and I] are still in our honeymoon
stage, but I’m sure within a few weeks I’ll have some
sort of frustration.
Goal: I heard something about a textbook rental
program that was discussed last year but never imple -
mented and I’d like to work on getting that going.
Hannah Cooper
Dislike: I don’t really enjoy how much homework
I have.
Goal: I would like to get to know LC, and have the
opportunity to work on improving it!
Morgan Deters
Dislike: I haven’t found anything I specifically dis -
like about LC in the few weeks I’ve been here, although
I do wish the Bon was open later sometimes.
Goal: My goal in Senate is to make sure that this
school continues to run smoothly, and if I do find
something I dislike, I hope to be able to change it for
the better.
Elena Hoff
Dislike: So far, I could stand to change the lack in
organized school-wide movements such as a yearlong
goal for the student body involving volunteer hours or
recycling.
Goal: As a student senator, I would love to imple -
ment these organized school movements to benefit the
school as well as the student body.  While on a more
personal level, I’m looking forward to improving my networking skills.
Shuichi Matsumoto
Dislikes: The thing I don’t like about LC is the fact
that there is so much reading assigned, but that we
don’t always go through all of it. Or the fact that I feel
like the Bon might be putting laxatives in the food.
Goal: A goal I’d like to achieve is to make sure that
the school year we have in store
for us will be filled with all sorts of activities and what
not, and maybe attempt to get a CRISIS-Raz line that
goes out for the people who missed the last bus (week -
ends only and at like 1:30 a.m.).
Kade Peden
Dislikes: One thing I do not like about LC is the
price of everything. It seems like the college charges
you for even the smallest and insignificant things.
Goal: A goal I have for the Student Senate is to
raise student body awareness-- more specifically, aware -
ness of events going on at LC and in the surrounding
area.
Megan Sadler
Dislike: I am not a huge fan of LC’s distinct and
divided social groups. I would like for everyone to be
more integrated.
Goal: To make LC Senate’s re-inaugural year a
complete success for everyone!
Nina Sugar
Dislike: One thing I don’t like about Lewis & Clark
is the lack of varied media outlets available on campus.Goal: If I were elected to the senate I would diver -
sify the types of media outlets/resources available to
students on campus.
Courtney Van Petten
Dislike: The shuttle is very practical and accessible,
however it is ridiculously over-crowded and should
leave more often than once an hour. I have become
intimately acquainted with several of my classmates’
armpits.
Goal: I would like to have more events for the
freshman class. I feel like I know everyone in my hall
and most of my classes very well, but I still have not
met the majority of my class.
Chris Van Putten
Dislike: Although I am in the process of cooperat -
ing with my fellow PEAS themed floormates to estab -
lish composting throughout the campus dormitory
facilities, there are currently no means for students to
compost their food waste from their dorms.
Goal: Popular opinion of my would-be constituents
is that the Bon should let students leave with an item
they are in the process of consuming. I would like to
work with the Bon to try and extract a solution, such as
the policy last year where each student was permitted
to leave with one dessert or fruit each meal.(Left to right) Adalai Arnold, Lindsey Hurlburt and Jarre Lyman.
Knhick Haefner, Simon Hudes, Jillian Johnson, Goldann Salazar and Jared Schy. (Temesghen Habte not pictured)
Top: Madeline Cavazos, Hannah Cooper, Morgan Deters, Elena Hoff. Bottom: Kade Peden, Megan Sadler, Courney Van Petten
and Chris Van Putten. (Shuichi Matsumoto and Nina Sugar not pictured)
PHOTOS BY ALEXA JOHNSON, CATHY GRELLA,
LUCCA CIROLIA, SAM MARGEVICIUS. 3Forum the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
the Pioneer Log
wants YOU
to be a writer, editor,
photographer or illustrator
Earn credit! Get published! Make your voice heard!
meetings every Monday at 5 p.m. in the PioLog offi ce
on the /f_i rst /f_l oor of T empleton
Everyone’s welcome!Although “sustainability” has
most de/f_i nitely brought sexy back
to the environmental movement, recyclers remain as sexy as ever with their ability to do it twice, even multiple times. Some people seem to believe that, in order to become one of these alluring recy-clers, a person must sacri/f_i ce time, willpower and energy. To these skeptics I say “Relax.” /T_h is is no lesson in tantric rituals. Anyone can do it, plus Portland makes it incredibly easy.
/T_h is beautiful city uses a “mixed
materials” recycling system, mak-ing it simple for even the laziest individuals to participate. While some cities enforce strict sorting codes, Portland understands that it takes time to maintain a cavalier hipster persona and relieves its resi-
dents of the time-consuming chore
of sorting through recyclables. Pa-
per, plastics, aluminum and other materials are collected together and sorted out at the nearest Material
Recovery Facility (MRF).
/T_h e only sorting request that
Portland asks of its residents is to
separate recyclable glass materials in order to prevent broken glass from contaminating paper materi-als. /T_h e reason for this being that small shards of glass detrimentally weaken the strength of recycled pa-per products when mixed in with the paper pulp.
Most people have good inten-
tions when it comes to accidentally recycling objects that cannot be re-cycled, but these mistakes slow the process and contaminate materials that could have been reused. If you were unaware of these recycling
blunders, don’t worry, you have
time to accumulate good recycling
karma for the future. Here are facts that will help distinguish the recy-clables from the trash:• No pizza boxes!
...Or any paper contaminated
with food. /T_h e oils and grease from the food cannot be removed from the paper pulp and this weakens the recycled paper products.• Plastic bags are not recyclable!
/T_h is tends to confuse people
since most bags are tagged with that “recycle me!” triangle, but plastic bags cannot be collected through the mixed materials sys-tem. At the MRF , plastic bags tend to clog up the sorting machines and decrease effi ciency. However, there is another option, most gro-cery stores (Fred Meyer included) provide collection sites for con-cerned individuals to dump their unwanted bags. To solve all these problems, use a cloth bag.• No lids!
/T_h ese cause similar problems
for the MRF as plastic bags.• No plastic lined cups or boxes!
/T_h is means that the coff ee ad-
dicts, approximately 99% of this
campus demographic, need to be
real attentive when it comes to the
disposal of the cup. Some cups are paper all the way, but many con-tain insulating layers of plastic in-side the cup that you need to be aware of before attempting to recy-cle. /T_h e same goes for frozen food and microwave-meal boxes, watch out for that insulating plastic.
/T_h ese are the most common
and most frustrating recycling problems that reoccur here on campus, but now you know and now you can stop. If you have more personal, burning questions about what can be recycled, call the Metro Recycling hotline at (503)
234-3000. Also, if you want to get
a closer look at a MRF check out
this short /f_i lm “Saving Little Pieces of Our Earth”—don’t let the name fool you, this is pornographic.Misleading work-study articles
/T_h e PioLog published exten-
sively on the subject of work-
study in the past couple of edi-
tions. /T_h e /f_i rst was a news article which included the quote “un-skilled, uninformed, and unmo-
tivated students,” when referring
to the newest members of the
work-study club. /T_h e second ar-ticle appeared in the forum sec-tion in which the author mislead-
ingly asserts that one can be “too
poor” to receive work-study funds
and then goes on to sensational-ize the matter by suggesting that student employment at Lewis &
Clark should not be seen simply
as a /f_i nancial aid program (as the
school clearly sees it). /T_h is, the au-thor suggests, “degrades” the he-
roic work of those that “/f_i x com-
puters…correct papers…and run
lights and sound at concerts.” /T_h e
articles are upsetting to me for a number of reasons.
/T_h e argument is made that
the changes will result in “less
competition,” for student with
work-study. However, the num-ber of students given federal and
LC work-study funds increased
from 600 last year to 1,080 stu-
dents this year. Since the number
of campus jobs has more or less stayed the same, by what logic is
it sound to assume that competi-
tion in the job market has weak-ened? In fact, the opposite is true. Furthermore, it is said that the in-
dependent employers on campus
who do not require work-study
have stopped hiring. /T_h is is just
wrong. Most are still hiring. Take the Bon for instance—they still need 3-4 new employees.
Admissions Intern Zach Ke-
arl (’10) says that because of the new rules he will be required to hire “unskilled, uninformed, and unmotivated” students. When has
it ever been a problem for depart-
ments to hire “unskilled, unin-
formed, unmotivated” students? /T_h ey are forced to do this all the time because the students work-
ing for them eventually become
seniors and graduate. Once this
happens, they hire new and inex-perienced students and then train
them on how to do the job. It
happens all the time. It’s no prob-
lem when this happens through
its natural course, but when the SFS does it in order to help the
neediest make ends meet, well
then those students all the sud-
den become degenerates worthy
of the labels: “unskilled, unin-formed and unmotivated.” Also,
just a note to the employer, calling
potential applicants “unskilled,
uninformed, and unmotivated”
doesn’t exactly help the eff ort of /f_i nding new workers.
We should not overlook the
doors the new rules have opened to the international students. For many years they were limited to
working at the Bon, or the book-
store, or maintenance, but now
they will be able to work in pret-
ty much any department. Work-study is there for students who the school determines are not able to
make ends meet without a little
extra help. /T_h e new rules are in
place so that priority is given to those who need the jobs more than the rest. I would consider
this fair. “If my cup can hold but
a pint, and yours holds a quart,
won’t you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?”
Lastly, the articles seem intent
on demonizing the Student Fi-
nancial Services. Considering the
tremendous amount of negative publicity this has received, the
SFS probably did not want these
changes enacted anymore than
you or I, but we are in a recession.
Every one of us is a bit poorer and in need of some extra funds. /T_h e
changes are a direct response to
this. /T_h ey do not come because
the SFS is composed of macho-sa-
distic tyrants who work tirelessly to keep us underfunded. /T_h at’s
just nonsense.
T emesghen Habte
College of Arts & Sciences
Class of 2012
Letters to the Editor
A sampling from the voice of the Lewis & Clark College community
by Sophia Diaz
Sustainability is Sexy
Recycling for dummies
Making bikes more convenient
/T_h e school could de/f_i nitely use
some better accommodations for
bikes. Currently in Forest, the only place to store your bike (that isn’t breaking a Facilities regulation) is in inside, downstairs, in the laun-dry room.
When you’re looking for a place
to hop on and go, all that’s avail-able is a storage vault. It seems obvious that many people would rather choose to leave their bikes lying around outside, sacri/f_i cing order (and safety), for the sake of convenience. After all, you get to leave your car sitting around just outside the door, so why not your bicycle?
However, regulations aside,
there is a worrisome downside to this method. Bikes left outside, es-pecially those left unlocked, are a major theft risk, as is seen to the despair of bike owners at the begin-ning and end of every school year. While everyone’s still settling in, and strangers on campus aren’t an unusual sight, outside thieves take advantage and make off with sev-eral bikes.
As Forest Area Director David
Rosengard can tell you, this is one of the main reasons most of the bike storage is indoors. “/T_h e best way we’ve seen to keep bikes from getting stolen is to put them some-where where people have to swipe in to get at them.” /T_h is is how they ended up in the basement.It seems that many involved
in Campus Living and Facilities would like to see more convenient bike racks, but security is always an issue. “We could mount bike racks to the walls, outside the doors, but you’d probably only be able to /f_i t about two bikes out there, and any-thing beyond that is probably too far away from the path people are walking through to really deter a lot of theft,” said Rosengard.
Building more bike racks re-
quires /f_i nding a place with enough
space to be worthwhile while re-
maining highly visible from the dorms. /T_h e reason Copeland’s racks are relatively safe has a lot to do with all the windows overlook-ing every corner of the outdoors.
A few years ago, there was an
idea that would have not only solved the inconvenience in Forest, but created an effi cient and pleas-ant structure.
If there was enough money left
over from renovating Copeland, it might have gone to building a “bike shed” for Forest. Students would need to swipe their IDs to get in, but it would be designed for easy and convenient access for your pedal-powered transport. What’s more, Rosengard said, “/T_h e plan was to have wafer-thin solar panels in the ceilings, so that the ceilings would be like full skylights.”
/T_h e solar panels would provide
power to the card readers and light-ing, creating a neat self-suffi cient and secure bike space. Unfortu-nately, there wasn’t enough money for the project.
/T_h at’s really the root problem.
Bicycle infrastructure has no basic funding; any progress in that direc-tion has to be a special case. And while Portland may be an incred-ibly bike-friendly city, most stu-dents come here from places where bikes are much less practical.
It would be a beautiful thing
to develop a system where cars, already a hassle on campus, aren’t necessary at all. I for one would be proud and happy to help fund an optional program to develop bet-ter bus systems, bike programs and community cars. To make things like this happen, however, will re-quire serious support not only from the administration, but also from the students.
by Stephen Maxwell
“/T_h e best way we’ve
seen to keep bikes
from getting sto-len is to put them somewhere where people have to swipe in to get at them.” - Forest AD David RosengardFor a school in bike-friendly city of Portland, is Lewis & Clark very accommodat-ing for bicycles and their riders?Nestled in southwest Portland suburbia, the “bubble” of
the Lewis & Clark campus is diffi cult to escape. Rolling hills
make bicycling to and from campus a feat left to the brave, and not recommended to the faint of heart. Luckily for past students, the college has off ered free shuttling to make up for the lack of available public transit in the area (the T ri-Met 39 being the exception, of course). However, this year’s cancellation of LC’s Sellwood shuttle, along with the revamping of the Pioneer Express schedule, has left students scrambling for alternatives.
/T_h e Sellwood Bridge allows easy access across
the river, from the southwest to southeast. However, due to the questionable safety of the bridge, T riMet does not allow full sized city buses to pass its frail frame. /T_h us the cancellation of the Sellwood shuttle has left the Sellwood community, and most of southeast Portland, as good as an island to students without cars.
For proof of this statement, one
must only look to the handy-dandy T ri-Met trip planner. With a starting point of Sellwood’s New Seasons Market and an ending point of LC, the planner estimates a 97-minute trip. /T_h is time includes three diff erent bus routes and a total of 33 minutes spent simply waiting.
While students can receive a discounted bus pass for about
37 dollars a month, price alone is not the only consideration; a student living in Sellwood will now spend an average of three hours and some change daily simply getting to and from school. /T_h is seems absurd for the three and a half miles traveled across the bridge, especially when the approximate driving time is nine minutes.
With LC’s push to be green, one would assume that the
college should be encouraging students to take advantage of bus systems or, when public options are not available, off er a green alternative: enter the Sellwood Shuttle.
/T_h ere were valid reasons students proposed the idea back
in 1999, and those reasons have not and will not go away. An April 1999 PioLog article written by former staff member Jill Teasley explained the basic proposal and the reasoning behind it.
“[A]reas with the highest densities of permit-holders are
Sellwood, Mountain Park, and John’s Landing, containing 13.1%, 12.6%, and 6.3% of permit-holders, respectively,” Teasley wrote. “/T_h ese areas have poor T ri-Met service to
Volume 73, Number 1 Forum 4 the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
In order to prepare for the upcoming student
forum regarding the current presidential search, it seems appropriate for students to evaluate what characteristics the committee should be looking for in Lewis & Clark’s new president.
A re/f_l ection upon the reasons for former President
/T_h omas Hochstettler’s departure appears a useful place to begin. In the announcement he made on June 19, Hochstettler admitted that his decision to leave LC a year earlier than planned was prompted by the chance to become Chief Academic Offi cer at the American University of Sharjah in the United Arab Emirates. /T_h is decision reveals that Hochstettler’s primary concern was no longer this institution, but his own career in academia and the appeal of “the vortex of international higher education.”
During his term here, Hochstettler greatly
contributed to the LC community and perhaps it is true that it was time for him and his wife to move on to bigger and better things. However, if the next president’s term is to be cut short after just /f_i ve years as well, LC will falter under the lack of continuity this creates.
Every college and university in this country /f_i nds
much of its stability from the students who make up its population—however, without a strong administrative backbone on which to rely, the student body inevitably weakens as well. Important traditions that should be carried on, like collective memories (who will remember the Rusty Nail once the class of
2010 is gone?) and ambitions for the future, may be
tragically lost once a new administration and student body enters LC. A president who can promise a long-lasting commitment to LC could invigorate both the students and the administration in an essential way. With this long-term loyalty comes a second quality the committee should seek—a president that can act as a bold, willing and approachable presence for the entire LC community.
Hochstettler imparted his students and faculty with
a wisdom that his long career in academia provided. However, his presence on campus was a relatively quiet one—in my three years here when he was president, I think the single time I heard him speak was at Convocation during my New Student Orientation.
In nearby Tacoma, WA, Ronald /T_h omas is president
at the University of Puget Sound. Students lovingly call him “Ron Tom” and he often hosts “/f_i reside chats,” casual home-cooked dinners at his house (which is on campus) for which students clamor to get an invitation. In the few times I have visited UPS, I’ve both seen and heard their president more than I ever did ours.
/T_h e /f_i nal bullet point on this particular list of desired
traits is transparency and consistency in approach. LC’s new president should also be reliable in his or her methodology. Many important aspects of this school have been undergoing a transformation, and only a president with a clear view of the future can succeed in the ways we need them to. Without an indefatigable consistency regarding both what this institution wants and what it projects to the outside world, LC will lose its chance to become one of the most recognized liberal arts colleges in the country.
/T_h e community that currently lives and breathes
the air on Palatine Hill knows the impressive value of this school; however, we need a president that will continue to give life to the best qualities of this institution while also communicating to others what our faculty, current students and alumni have to off er.
Now is the time for students to give voice to what
we want to see in the next president. If the students don’t contribute now, we will only have ourselves to blame.
/T_h e presidential search forum will be held on Monday,
Sept. 21 at 5 p.m. in Council Chambers. To submit a question before the forum, e-mail sjg@lclark.edu.by Sanne Stienstra
Your Facebook news feed was probably bombarded
this past Sunday with updates from your friends typing in harmony, “Kanye, what the hell?”
Indeed, Kanye West made dubious headlines again
on Sunday at the Video Music Awards (VMAs) when he interrupted Female Video of the Year winner Taylor Swift in the middle of her acceptance speech to declare, “Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.” /T_h e audience, stunned, then
booed him off the stage—before which, of
course, Kanye /f_l ipped off the crowd.
/T_h at incident has since dominated the
news as well as social interaction. Everybody seems to be talking about it. What was he thinking? What gives him the right? What the hell, Kanye? It seems as if nobody has been able to ask the question, “Who cares?”
/T_h e stunt pulled by West was
rude, even heartless for sure, but is it anything we haven’t really seen?
MTV is home to this type of
drama. If it isn’t on an awards show, it’ll be on “Road Rules” or “Making /T_h e Band” tomorrow (or is it called “Making His B a n d ”
now?). Not to mention Kanye has been known to get attention from the media as well. Who could forget when he said, “George Bush doesn’t like black people”? Or his arrogant acceptance speech at the Grammy’s? Yet, we all seem blown away by Kanye’s action.
Never mind poor Taylor Swift’s attempt to accept the
award, or Beyoncé’s amazing live performance of “Single Getting ready for the all-student presi-dential search forum on Sept. 21. LC shuttle isolates students in SW
by Liz Holliday
Inappropriate outburst is latest style
by Robin Aubrycampus, so LC inhabitants tend to drive a lot, but surveys conducted last fall show that most commuters would frequently take a shuttle to school.”
/T_h e original proposal was correct in the assumption
that students would take advantage of a free shuttle from Sellwood. LC is not an entity in itself and it should be encouraging students to integrate into the wider Portland area during their four (or so) years at this institution. Not only is the cancellation of the shuttle detrimental to those juniors who already reside there, but strongly deters freshmen and sophomores from the being able to explore southeast.
Now, back to the four-hour period now blocked from
the new Pioneer Express schedule. It is true that
the Pioneer Express is paid for in four-hour
chunks, and that the middle of the day
seems the most plausible time to cancel
service. However, many students /f_i nd
the excuses unacceptable and feel
that bene/f_i t to students is worth the economic implications
“For a school that prides itself
on having its students be a part of
downtown life taking away the Raz
creates a huge problem,” Mary Beck (’10)
said. “We should want our students to be
able to get downtown easily so that they can
have internships and jobs that will bene/f_i t them after graduation. We should not be stuck on the hill and have our only job opportunities relegated
to those that are within walking distance of campus.”
Beck presents a good point. It is not likely that T ryon,
Chevron and Papaccino’s can hire the rest of the student body seeking employment. Many students look to downtown as an alternative solution, as the Raz (until very recently) had a regular schedule to plan both work and school around.
“I have worked downtown for the past two years and
many of my shifts started in the middle of the day after my classes were over,” Beck said. “I never had enough time to take the 39 and transfer to the 12. /T_h e Raz provided an easy and eff ective way to get downtown. Working downtown is what paid for my living expenses.”
Yes, budget cuts are at fault for this travesty. However,
after noticing the brand new sassy upgrade given to library furniture, one begins to wonder: What else was deemed more crucial than reliable (and, more importantly, FREE) transportation to and from campus? Whatever the reason for the change, there has to be an alternative. It is hard to believe that some super/f_i cial updates could not have been exchanged to save the student body’s transportation.
Kanye West and Representative Joe Wilson use media solely for personal gain.
/T_h e Sellwood Bridge allows easy access across
the river, from the southwest to southeast.
However, due to the questionable safety
of the bridge, T riMet does not allow
full sized city buses to pass its frail
the new Pioneer Express schedule. It is true that
the Pioneer Express is paid for in four-hour
chunks, and that the middle of the day
seems the most plausible time to cancel
service. However, many students /f_i nd
the excuses unacceptable and feel
ILLUSTRATION BY ALIMA LARSON
...without a strong administra-
tive backbone on which to rely, the student body inevitably weakens as well. Editor’s Note
Ladies.” Never mind the poor girl from Yale who was murdered this past week, or the death of Patrick Swayze. Never mind what your homework was.
/T_h is is just like what’s happening in politics now. Another
outrageous yet insigni/f_i cant move by Representative Joe Wilson, yelling “You lie!” during President Obama’s speech,
was found by the House on T uesday to be punishable
when they voted to sanction him.
Isn’t it depressing that those
two words exclaimed by a nut from South Carolina has gotten
more media coverage than what
the President’s speech was about—let
alone the speech itself?
In a four-year institution with
some of the most interesting
topics being discussed among
brilliant professors, it feels as if we’re tweens talking gossip in the hallways in our
freshman year of high school.
It’s happening across the nation
as well. Just as the gossip about
Michael Jackson’s death appeared
to be dying down, the next hot gossip tip appeared at an MTV
awards show. So the phenomena of
the celebrity event top story continues.
Since the incident, many of your friends have probably
dissed or defended Kanye. Jay Leno has directly asked Kanye what his late mother would say. President Obama himself, off the record, called Kanye a “jackass.” Forest Area Director David Rosengard has called the rapper’s behavior “boorish.” Okay! Everybody, it seems, has had his or her say. So why are we still talking about it?
ILLUSTRATION BY KATELYN MUNDALAfter cutting a several hours on the Pioneer Express and getting rid of the Sellwood Shuttle entirely, LC students are left with fewer transportation options.5Volume 73, Number 1 Features the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
nine days out >>>>
friday saturday sunday
monday tuesday wednesday
thursday friday saturday18 19 20
21 22 23
24 25 26September 18 to 26
Philosophy Collioquium with William A. Rottschaefer
Second Philosophy and the Explanatory Power of T ruth
Howard Hall, Room 202, 3:30 - 5 p.m.
Waldo Lake Sea Kayaking & Service Project
College Outdoors, 6:30 p.m.Oregon’s Communal History Exhibit Opening Reception Watzek Library Atrium, 3 p.m.
Drag Film Fest
Platt Main Lounge, 7 p.m.Lewis & Clark Women’s Soccerversus Paci/f_i c LutheranGriswold Stadium, 12 p.m.
Koinonia Worship
Agnes Flanagan Chapel, 4 p.m.
News writing workshop with Peter Christenson
Albany 218, 4:30 p.m.
Pick-Up Basketball Game
Pac Man Lawn, 7 p.m.Mary Szybist: Reason and PassionAn Exploration & Discovery lectureMiller, Room 105, 3:30 p.m.
/T_h e Other Side of Immigration Documentary screening
Council Chambers, 6 p.m.
“Gray’s Anatomy” Season PremiereCouncil Chambers, 7 p.m.
“Project Runway”
T amarack, 9 p.m.Johannah Sherrer Memorial LectureSmith Hall, 3 p.m.
Friday Night Flick
T amarack, 8:30 p.m.Lewis & Clark Women’s Soccerat Willamette University, 12 p.m.
Japanther concert
/T_h e Trail Room, 6 p.m.Documentary Action Forum Howard Hall, Room 101, 7 p.m.
Career Services Info Session
McCarty Classroom 4 (Law), 12 p.m.style source
Albuquerque, New Mexico >>> Andrew Merriam (’10) >>> Religious Studies Major
I HAD A COLLECTION

IF MY STORY WERE
ABOVE ALL ELSEan entertainment piece
He forced his way into the Piolog ./T_h e most incredible thing I have ever seen in my life, beyond any drug expe-
rience, beyond anything. /T_h ey have dope wears, too. Fur. I’m down with fur.
Some people look great in fur and should wear it. I have this big grandma fur
coat and I want to wear it downtown, see what happens. At one point I had as many as three.
It’s been done, it’s called “In /T_h e Closet.” A hiphopera with R. Kelly. Also relevant would be Stevie Wonder’s rendition of “Superstition” that
aired on “Sesame Street.” of ceramic geese wearing hats
throatsingingby Kathryn Miller
Andrew’s new chest tattoo has two Zias ,
the red sun symbol from the New Mexican flag.Nickname:
sasquatch
JORTS (jean shorts) ARE
THE PINNACLE OF SUM-MER FASHION, AND REALLY SO GREEN THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD BE DOING IT . Volume 73, Number 1 Features 6 the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
Oct. 12, 3:30 pm, Stamm
Come hear and share the experiences of members of the L&C
Community. Featuring Asst. Dir. of Overseas and Off-Campus Programs Lucretia Choto, Asst. Prof. of Philosophy Joel Martinez, Dean of Students and Chief Diversity Offi cer Celestino Limas, Asst. Prof. of Communication Mitch Reyes and student Karla Ortiz (’12). Moderated by Dir. of Latin American Studies and Assoc. Prof. of Hispanic Studies Juan C. Toledano. Appetizers will be served.
Hispanic Heritage Month
Sponsored by the Office of Multicultural Affairs, Hispanic Studies, Latin
American Studies, and Gente Latina Unida
The Taino: The Native Americans Who
Discovered Columbus
Growing Up Hispanic in the U.S.Teatro Milagro performs El
Ultimo, a bilingual play
Oct. 5, 7:00 pm, Miller 105
Bobby Gonzales will talk about the lifeways, art, history, outstanding leaders and spirituality of the Taino, the in-digenous peoples of the Caribbean. The Tainos introduced Europeans to rubber, tobacco, corn, and the pineapple. The saga of these Native Peoples who encountered Columbus
is an amazing story of great accomplishment, tragedy and
survival.
Oct. 12, 7:00 pm
A timberman acquires an island, which he plans to turn into a sustainable logging community. But his plan is delayed when forest spirits and an enemy from old en-vironmental wars attack him. This not only challenges
his integrity but also his dream of creating a utopia.
October 15th is Hispanic Heritage Night! Celebrate with themed food in the Bon
and with live salsa music by Freddy Vilches and Lo Nuestro Latin Esemble!Sept. 15 - Oct. 15
‘Becko’ Copenhaver becomes new Director of E&D
by Deanna Horton
PHOTO COURTESY REBECCA COPENHAVER
ILLUSTRATION BY EMILY BLOCK
ADVERTISEMENTAssociate Professor of Philosophy Rebecca “Becko” Co-
penhaver has undertaken the three-year position of Director
of Exploration & Discovery.
“My main goal is to keep the course thriving,” said Co-
penhaver. “I think that it’s worked especially well.”
According to last year’s E&D student questionnaires,
the freshman core course, entering its fourth year at Lewis & Clark, has attained widespread approval. Only a handful of students had negative comments toward the course as a whole.
At this point in the course’s short history, everyone cur-
rently attending LC has taken or is now taking E&D. To uti-lize these students’ experiences with the course, Copenhaver is working with T utoring Director Steven Levitte (’10) of SAAB to complete a tutoring program that devotes six to ten tutors speci/f_i cally to E&D. /T_h is will provide students with more support in addition to professors’ offi ce hours and the
Writing Center.
/T_h e structure of E&D is such that most texts are shared
between all classes in the fall semester only. Optional lectures
that are directly relevant to all freshmen accompany these
texts. In the spring, the professor of each section has com-
plete freedom in choosing readings, so there is no guarantee
that there will be enough overlap of texts or themes to facili-tate lectures.
Copenhaver and the E&D Steering Committee are con-
sidering the implementation of a spring semester E&D
lecture series in the future, which would cover overarching
themes of the liberal arts tradition.
“/T_h ese would cover the big picture issues,” said Copen-
haver. “What is meaning? What is human nature? What is the nature of memory?”
“/T_h e most important thing about a /f_i rst year core course
like this, whose main goal is to introduce students to the lib-
eral arts, is that it be constantly updated,” said Copenhaver.
“E&D has mechanisms for that built right into it.”
/T_h e freshman core class that existed before E&D was In-
venting America, which had a set cur-
riculum.
“E&D is a natu-
rally /f_l exible course,”
said Copenhaver. “It
enhances the stu-dent experience.”
At the end of fall
semester each year,
all E&D classes /f_i ll
out a questionnaire that asks students to specify their favorite and
least favorite readings. /T_h en, using
this information, the faculty that are
to teach the next fall’s E&D have a conversation about which texts work and which text selections can be improved.
Only professors teaching in the fall semester have control over which shared texts are chosen. /T_h ey are encour-
aged to supplement the texts to create a theme unique to
each class, or to a small group of core classes that share simi-
lar syllabi.
/T_h e only restriction given to the fall E&D professors is
having a minimum of 3 works in common.
Last year, Discoveries and Opinions of Galileo received bad
reviews from students, and was therefore removed from the shared reading list for Fall 2009.
T wo new shared readings have been added to E&D this
fall: Edwin Abbott’s Flatland and a collection of Sappho’s po-
ems.
Every professor who teaches E&D does so voluntarily.
By making it voluntary, the hope is that those who would
really like to teach a course to only /f_i rst year students will get
the opportunity to do so.
“It’s attracting the professors that want to teach the
course,” said Copenhaver.7Volume 73, Number 1 Features the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
Hiroshi Tomita, 20, is a senior Environmental Studies ma -
jor. He spent this past summer teaching English in T aiwan,
while simultaneously working on multiple documentary films
(release dates to be announced).
As an Eagle Scout, his post-graduate plans include assem -
bling a modern incarnation of a team of elite environmental
activists, not unlike Captain Planet and the Planeteers. Here are
some of his wisest words of wisdom.

This one time, my buddies and
I took a summer scooter trip
down the east coast of Taiwan
for a week. We stopped by an ab -
original village and were treated
to some of the best mangoes I’ve
ever tasted. Never underestimate
the goodness of people.
Don’t let your pre-frontal cortex
become too developed or you’ll
end up second-guessing yourself
too much, too often.
Where I come from, politics
are blatantly biased, filled with
corruption, and very closely af -
filiated with T riad affairs. Too
often politics are fraught with
arguments for the sake of argu -
ing, by politicians who are more
concerned with blocking the op -
ponent’s views (without really listening to them) than reach -
ing mutual understanding. In the end the best interest of the
public is not served. You wouldn’t believe in politics either
if you grew up seeing legislators chucking high heels at each
other. Pioneer Musings: Hiroshi Tomita (’10)
by Lee YangBut, governments are necessary to oversee and guide unin -
hibited human nature.
The use of agriculture, water, and energy are my biggest con -
cerns as an Environmental Studies major. There will always
be unequal distribution of these resources, and it hurts me
to know that millions of people will die as a result. It just
sucks, man.
I’m not that fashionable, not that
I don’t care; I’m just more con -
cerned with the pragmatic uses
of clothes and the things around
me. But for those few special oc -
casions, I will slick my hair back,
wear my fake Gucci suit, and
dance like Michael Jackson.
Growing up leaves room for re -
gret.
3-D pornos will be the ultimate
expression of art.
I will not gossip about God. I’ve
never had the pleasure of meeting
him or her.
I’ve always been fascinated by the
super-string theory. It’s kind of
crazy to think that some physicists
believe that the world is made up
of tiny super-strings, and that the universe folds in upon it -
self, in a Calabi-Yau space. I don’t really understand it.

Do you know an interesting individual whom you’d like PioLog
to profile? Are you that individual? E-mail piolog@lclark.edu.
Baby seals are having their heads bashed in as you read
this. It’s done as a recreational activity, like bowling or golf.
There’s really no point in it, other than to see a baby seal’s
head explode because one has taken a bat to it.
Does that make you angry? Disgusted? Want to kill your -
self? Maybe that’s not the best way to take action, but the
Documentary Action Forum is here to help you handle these
emotions in a safe way and also possibly cause change in the
world.
The Documentary Action Forum was created to help stu -
dents get involved in the community and the world by show -
ing documentaries on political, religious, and cultural issues,
providing a safe place where students can learn more and dis -
cuss these issues, and then giving them methods to take ac -
tion either for or against the issues.
“I feel that on this campus, the perception of activism and
community involvement is a reality here on campus with
certain students, but is also very much a myth that is created by the admissions office,” says T ravis Flye (’11), leader of the
Documentary Action group. Flye hopes to be able to reverse
this statement in future years by making it easier for students
to be active citizens. “We’re a really multi-tiered group. On
one level, we watch documentary films and talk about the
film itself and the issues it presents. From there, we compile
as many resources as we can to go out to students in order to
make activism as easy as possible.”
The Documentary Action Forum does not try to push or
promote a certain view of thinking. The goal of the group is
to be as interdisciplinary and objective as possible, regardless
of the issues depicted in the documentaries that are shown.
“On certain issues, such as war or genocide, we can’t be un -
biased. But in terms of political and cultural issues we seek
to promote activism in general, whether it be for or against.”
If you would like to learn more about the Documentary Ac -
tion Forum, e-mail docaction@gmail.com. Document screen -
ings are Mondays at 7 p.m., and discussions are Wednesdays at
6 p.m.
by Eddie BarksdaleDocumentary Action Forum wants
you to take a stand on the issuesPHOTO BY SAM MARGEVICIUSCascade AIDS
Project and LC
start partnership
by Madelyn Troiano and Eddie Barksdale
Eavesdropping
“This tartlet is exactly what I ex -
pect it to be.”
“If you start killing people then
the fun will stop.”
“Kissing is how everything begins
and dies.”
“My solution to everything is to
sleep with it!”
“Voldemort likes them young, and
Mexican.”
“Does he really have a knife or is
that just a euphemism?”
“I wish I could hold daggers in a
the heel of my stilettos.”
“I’ll open it up and you have at it.”
“Dude, the girls soccer team is so
hot this year!”
“I tried to find the meditation
thing and found Christians instead.”
“I think you need to wear shoes,
but as long as no one sees you you’re
fine.”
“Yup, we call it the purple people
eater! It’s legit, super legit.”
Send in your eavesdropping for next
week’s issue to piolog@lclark.edu.The 5th annual “What’s New in HIV?” conference in
northwest Portland presented information on HIV preven -
tion, care and treatment while offering networking opportu -
nities for service providers and individuals with HIV. Here
in Oregon, there are an estimated 7,000 people living with
HIV and 250-300 new infections in the state every year.
The conference included presentations from several local
activists. B.J. Cavnor, public policy coordinator at the Cas -
cade AIDS project, emphasized how individual effort can
make a difference in the fight against AIDS. “Our silence
equals the death of others, and with numbers of infection
on the rise, activism is needed more than ever,” said Cavnor.
With 58% of infected Oregon residents living in Multnomah
county, and half of the new AIDS cases originating there,
there is a strong need for activism in the local community.
Students can get involved and become activists by joining
the Lewis & Clark team in the Cascade AIDS Project’s AIDS
walk. “Lewis & Clark students have participated in the past,”
says Carolyn Worthge (’11), intern for the Cascade AIDS
Project, “but we’ve never really gone out into the commu -
nity and supported this cause as much as we could.” By par -
ticipating in this march, LC students will not only help raise
funds but also raise awareness throughout the community. “I
think it’s important for Lewis & Clark to show our support
for an organization close to home,” said Carolyn.
The walk is 3.1 miles (5 km) in downtown Portland and
will take place on Sunday, October 11. Registration is free,
and students can specifically join the LC team. For more in -
formation, or to register, visit www.cascadeaids.org.
PHOTO BY LEE YANGFriday, September 12, 2008 Arts 8 the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
Located just across the river in Sellwood,
Lewis & Clark’s popular off-campus reloca -
tion site, sits Portland’s newest (and perhaps
most interesting) music venue, The Woods.
The space is notable not just because it is
Sellwood’s first real, live music venue, but
also because it inhabits the building that
once housed Wilhelm’s Funeral Home.
Not surprisingly, The Woods, which
opened at the end of June and is located on
Milwaukie Avenue, has been renovated a bit
to accommodate patrons of concerts, kara -
oke, and stand-up comedy nights, the out -
door “salon” is now a covered smoking area
and smaller lounges that stick off the main
room comfortably provide shelter to lovers
looking for a bit of privacy.
The subdued ghostliness that once filled
this 1929 Mission-style building has been
lost, replaced instead by gold paint accents,
cute coffee tables, smatterings of local art on
the walls, and kitschy furniture that appears
to have come from the Bins on one of its bet -
ter days.
The covered carpet stairs that lead up to
the doors seem a remainder from the build -
ing’s days as a funeral parlor, as does the
hanging ceiling above the stage, a.k.a. “the
beautiful chapel area” as the website calls it,
which hovers low over the space where musi -
cians now offer up love songs instead of eu -
logies.Fun beers and wines, from $2 cans of
Hamm’s to tall, slender bottles of something
German, are served at the bar, which sits to
the right of the stage. Performers and audi -
ence members mingle about at the tables,
chairs, and different couches that are scat -
tered in front of the slightly raised platform,
making the atmosphere both welcoming and
unpretentious.
The Woods has yet to grab many big
name bands, filling unbooked evenings on
the calendar with karaoke and open mics,
although Laura Viers took the stage this
Wednesday night. Last weekend saw a fairly
big crowd turn up for two Portland bands,
Church and Y La Bamba, and other notable
Portland bands passing through The Woods
soon include Ah Holly Fam’ly on September
25, Norfolk & Western on October 24, and
Bark Hide and Horn on November 20.
The Portland-centric attitude that is al -
ready developing at The Woods seems a sign
that perhaps the revamped and re-stylized
funeral home won’t become the next Crys -
tal Ballroom, but will instead be the next
moderately-sized venue that is all about the
City of Roses—something for which LC stu -
dents, nearby Reedies, and residents of Sell -
wood should probably be thankful.
The Woods is located at 6637 Milwaukie
Ave in Sellwood. Visit thewoodsportland.com
for more information and a full schedule.
Former funeral parlor
transformed into hip venue
by Sanne Stienstra
PHOTOS FROM THE WOODS
Desperate-sounding and possibly depressing, singer Yoni
Wolf’s lyrics strive against the accompanying frenetic piano,
bass, guitar and cymbal-heavy drumming of WHY?’s now-
mature full band. Eskimo Snow is roughly comparable to this
year’s Dan Deacon release, Bromst , as both albums feature
fast minimalistic pianos and glockenspiels.
Where WHY?’s style is most unique is in Wolf’s lyrics,
which have evolved from his verbose soliloquies of disen -
chantment, reminiscent of rappers such as Eminem and
Doom (previously MF Doom), into densely-worded, yet still
self-deprecating, confessionals.
Snow often sounds like Bromst , but with an important
message to convey, rather than just a simple  carpé diem at-
titude. Still, Wolf’s voice has limited range and a nasal
timbre that might annoy some, especially those who
dislike Neutral Milk Hotel or Silver Jews.
Snow is an album for the times; nebbish, yet filled
with a nervous energy, a mood to which one gathers
Wolf is accustomed. Despite any currents of depression
or obsession with fragility and death, the sheer density
of the instrumentation (there are rarely fewer than three
instruments being played at once) and lyrical style (lines
like “I want to speak at an intimate decibel, with the pre -
cision of an infinite decimal”) offers, if not hope,
then a sense of determination.
In the album’s single, “This Blackest
Purse,” the narrator asks his mom whether
he is “...failing or worse”—an irratio -
nal fear because “worse” than fail -
ing is a self-defeating con -
cept. All the while, the
piano and bass-line
both remain steadily
confident-sounding
during the song de -
spite the morbid
topics.
Even the album
cover contains a self-dep -recating look at death: a mummified person holds a bouquet
of flowers in front of his or her face, perhaps concealing em -
barrassment at having died. With Snow more than any of
their other albums, the name WHY? works best at summon -
ing those questions of self-doubt, a skill the albums uses in a
fun fashion.
Also, the rhyming and slightly redundant name Eskimo
Snow , while not an obvious choice without the eponymous
track, reflects Wolf’s affectations of syllable-repeating and re -
dundancy, along with informality—“eskimo” is considered a
politically incorrect term for Inuits because it might possibly
mean “eater of raw meat.”
The awkwardness Wolf explores frequently hatches lines
full of the sardonic mood bands like Silver Jews use. For in -
stance, “And they say electricity can travel up
your piss stream.”
WHY?’s Eskimo Snow frequently lets
loose such sardonic lyrical gems, along
with engaging instrumental hooks while,
at worst, leaning toward homogeneity and
redundancy—see how the lead-off for the
track “Into The Shadows Of My Embrace”
goes on too long without variation. Because
WHY?’s style is absorbing and origi -
nal, yet still not fully developed—as
Snow ’s tracks are somewhat lack -
ing in stylistic variety— Snow
is one of the year’s better al -
bums, but certainly not the best.
WHY? will be at the Wonder
Ballroom on October
15 with Mount Ee -
rie and No Age.
8 p.m. $14.
E s k i m o
Snow comes
out on An -
ticon Records
Tuesday.WHY?: Eskimo Snow
by Joshua Kaplan
ILLUSTRATIONS AND TYPEFACE BY KATELYN MUNDALLA’s premier noise-pop duo, No Age, is back again with a
new EP that explores a richer, more melodic sound. No Age
is no stranger to looped sounds, but Losing Feeling sees them
using the looping process as an instrument in itself. Clocking
in at a mere 13 minutes, it is easy to brush this work aside—
until you listen to it.
The opening track “Losing Feeling” begins with a churn -
ing eddy of guitar loops, fed backwards and forwards through
layers of feedback and delay, creating a quasi-surf vibe that
drifts leisurely towards a stronger current of punk as drum -
mer Dean Spunt builds the drums up from the foggy haze of
loops and static. As the waves of sound increase in intensity,
the guitar loops swell in depth, until in the final minute of
the song a burst of guitar and frantic drums fractures the
calm, and drops it off into a warm wisp of fuzz.
“Genie” may be the weakest song. A plodding ballad
floating down a river of lethargy though it is, it still has mo -
ments of poignancy. Simply vocals and distorted guitars, it
lacks the profundity of the other tracks on the EP , but in the
last moments of the song a rumbling chorus of glitches and
white noise.
The standout track is “Aim at the Airport,” a deliriously
sweet and sunny one. It begins with a lullaby of hisses and
crackling echoes that coast their way towards, something—
something bright. Within the miasma of sound swims a reel -
ing instrumental melody. It’s a love song sans mots.
“You’re a Target,” the final song, falls back into the pattern
of older No Age material. It’s fast, loud and powerful. Fever -
ish percussion and droning guitar shatter the lull of previous
songs. This change in pace gives the necessary energy to stand
up, walk over, and press play—again and again.
Losing Feeling comes out on Sub Pop Records on October 6.No Age: Losing Feeling
by Liam O’ConnorArts 9 the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
Metal Shakespeare Company, comprised of three LC alums,
opened for sludge-metal band Jucifer last Saturday in the Trail Room. Below, Viceroy Matthew [aka Matt Stikker (’06)] shreds it up while Lord Simms [aka Jason Simms (’06)] invokes the spirit of the Bard. Though some might call MSC a niche band, they drew a bigger band of followers than did Jucifer. Showtime SnapshotDr. Dog: The Old Days [Thurs. at the Wonder Ballroom]
Peppy lo-fi beachside music to make you forget autumn is com-
ing to Portland.
Frightened Rabbit: I Feel Better [Thurs. at Danteʼs]
Rough, emotive rock delivered with a rough, emotive Scottish brogue: to remind you that some cities (Glasgow) are even rainier than Portland.
Builders and the Butchers: Bottom of the Lake
[Sat. at the Crystal Ballroom]The most epic and gothic of local folk: Ryan Solleeʼs careen-ing wail of a voice delivers the most rousing dirge youʼve ever heard.
Beach House: Wedding Bell [Sat. at Berbatiʼs]
This song, like most of the bandʼs repertory, will effortlessly lull you into the sweetest of dreamlands. As good a cure as any medication for your ills.
Loch Lomond: Blue Lead Fences
[Sat. at Mississippi Studios]Ritchie Youngʼs haunting falsetto may be a deal-breaker for some, but its unique bizarreness melds perfectly with the some-times spare, sometimes bombastic woodsy folk of the whole outfi t. Fairytale delicious.
Port OʼBrien: I Woke Up Today
[Fri. at Mississippi Studios]This song is as rambunctious and anthemic as the title suggests. Port OʼBrien crafts one helluva euphoric tune.
Church: Opposite People [Sat. at the East End]
This band wins the award for Portlandʼs most luxurious new band. Dreamscapes of fuzzy guitars and unreal harmonies—this is music you wish you could eat.
Japanther: Bumpinʼ Rap Tapes [Fri. at Satyricon].
For all comparisons to noise-rock gods Lightning Bolt, Japan-ther play pure unadulterated pop…“Call me up and/tell me you love me.”
Copy: Fist [Fri. at Rotture]
The hippest Nintendo game youʼve never heard, this track is straight pixilated goodness. Marius Libmanʼs solo electro outfi t Copy presents a heaven of bleeping, bopping and buzzing.
The Morning Benders: Boarded Doors
[Sat. at Berbatiʼs Pan]Plinking piano and jaunty hooks reminiscent of Ray Davies or (dare I say it) the Beatles.
Grouper: Heavy Water [Sat. at Backspace]
Guitars droning gently into nothingness as vocals veer in and out of the range of audibility.
Nurses: Manatarms [Fri. at the Doug Fir]
“Manatarms” is not a long-limbed manatee but actually a pia-no-backed call to arms by Nurses: Itʼs captivating in all its vary-ing levels, persistent percussion and slightly emasculating yelps from lead singer Aaron Chapman.
In honor of Musicfest NW ,
which the Piolog offi cially
cannot get enough of, we’ve
compiled a themed Mixtape with our picks of fave MFNW artists and their songs. MIXTAPE!MIXTAPE!MIXTAPE!MIXTAPE!MIXTAPE!
MIXTAPE!
MIXTAPE!
PHOTO BY MAGGIE OLIVER
The fi rst night of MFNW, and the venue fi lled to capacity by the second out of four bands. Unsurprising that it should be the Portland Cello Proj-ect to achieve this veritable feat: the all-cello ensemble, which has col-laborated with everyone from the Builders and the Butchers to Stepha-nie Schneiderman, is becoming something of a local legend. Tonight’s Musicfest blast-off saw the core of PCP assemble—including founder Doug Jenkins and LC alumna Sonja Myklebust (’08)—to play collabora-tions with John Power, as well as their own pieces. For the last song, Jenkins asked the audience if they would like a quiet or a loud song: the reaction was an unhesitant explosion for the latter, to which Jenkins
retorted, “All right. You’re getting Britney Spears.” PCP’s rendition of
“Toxic” was as rousing and moving as anything Berbati’s has seen of
late. — Liam O’ConnorPHOTO BY ALICIA ROSE FROM PCPILLUSTRATION BY LIAM O’CONNOR
MIXTAPE!
Night One: Portland Cello ProjectFriday, September 12, 2008 Sports 10 the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
Pioneer football plays close
After tight fi rst half in season opener, LC takes loss in last minutes.Quarterback Keith Welch (’13) rushes past Claremont defense Saturday.PHOTO BY SAM DODSON
by Nichole Carnell
Lewis & Clark picked up their /f_i rst loss in
the season opener Saturday after the Pioneers
fell 22-7 to the Claremont-Mudd-Scripps Stags, but numbers don’t tell the story. /T_h e Pios played a tight /f_i rst half and showed po-tential for a promising season from both their freshman rookies and veteran players.
/T_h e Pioneers came to play on a hot af-
ternoon to a crowd of 1,134 spectators, ac-cording to the Pio website. After the Stags scored a /f_i eld goal in the /f_i rst two minutes, the Pios answered back in the /f_i rst quarter with a 15 yard run by Harrison Keller (’11). Veteran kicker Andrew Foote (’10) followed up to put the Pios ahead 7-3 with 1:50 left in the /f_i rst quarter.
/T_h e second quarter saw little action until
/f_i ve minutes in, when the Stags scored an-other /f_i eld goal from 35 yards with the Pios up by just one.
In the last three minutes of the half LC
defense worked to hold off the Stags near the end zone.
With one minute left, Claremont broke
through the Pio defensive line to score a one-yard run putting the Pios down 12 to 7.
/T_h ree attempts at a /f_i eld goal kick after
false starts put the Stags at the 20-yard line to miss a kick with 53 seconds on the clock.
A weak return by Claremont gave the Pios a good chance to score at their own 41-yard line.
Freshman quarterback Keith Welch got
fans off their seats as he ran a quarterback keeper for 16 yards. A quick follow-up pass by Welch put the Pios closer to scoring, but after a sack by Claremont, with time run-ning, the Pios hit the locker room down by /f_i ve.
Both teams remained scoreless in the
third quarter. Relentless Pio defense in the third quarter allowed less than four min-utes of CMS off ense. Impressive coverage by freshman safety Siosifa Tonga (’12) helped the Pioneers hold off the Stags late in third quarter and into the fourth.
Another /f_i eld goal by Claremont-M-
S early in the fourth left the Pios down by
eight, with a little under 12 minutes left to play.
Again LC tried
to hold off the Stags close to the end zone, but with 7:45 on the clock Claremont scored on a two-yard run. A good kick pulled the Stags farther away from within the reach at 22-7. After the last blow by the Stags the clock wore down with hardly any big action to close the game.
Although aver-
aging just 1.2 yards per play, this aspir-
ing team showed promise in their young re-cruits with Welch leading in rushing yards with 53 and taking a majority of the snaps. Freshman running back Andrew Frisina also had the longest reception of the game with 35 yards from fellow recruit Welch.
With more than enough time to improve
before conference play starts on October 3, the Pios take their game on the road this Saturday to face Pomona-Pitzer.
/T_h e Pios return to Griswold Stadium on
October 10 to face No. 1-ranked Willamette at 1 p.m.
Receiver Kevin Carpenter (’12) fi ghts off a Stag tackle.PHOTO BY SAM DODSON
Volleyball on 5 game streak
by Nichole Carnell
After the latest of their /f_i ve wins, the Pio-
neer volleyball team is offi cially on a roll. /T_h e
Pios have dominated Occidental, Whittier,
Concordia, Warner Paci/f_i c and now confer-ence rival George Fox.
Strong serves from Molly Donahue and
off ensive power playing by Margaret Dowl-
ing (’12) and Katherine Fiedler (’11) helped
the Pios defeat the Lutes and brought their record to 4-4 for the season; putting them in fourth place among conference competi-tors last week. Dowling lead the team in kills with 15 for the night along with 4 blocks. Fiedler rocked the net leading the team with 5 blocks.
In their defeat against George Fox on
Wednesday, Fiedler banged out 19 kills, while setter Leia Matsunaga (’13) ended the night with an impressive 48 assists./T_h e Pios are now 5-4 and 1-0 in conference play.
/T_h e Pioneers take on Puget Sound in T aco-
ma Saturday before returning to Pamplin next Friday.
Katherine Fiedler (’11) at the net. PHOTO BY SAM DODSON
/T_h e Portland Timbers, one of the great-
est semi-professional soccer teams you’ve never heard of, has made it into the play-off s of the United Soccer Leagues First Division (USL-1). Since the Carolina RailHawk’s victory over the Puerto Rico Is-landers on Saturday, the Timbers clinched the Commissioner’s Cup, which is award-ed to the team with the best record at the end of the season. /T_h is is the /f_i rst time (in the new USL-1 points format) that the Timbers have won this distinction.
So now you’re probably thinking, “I
don’t know anything about the Tim-bers,” and unless you’re from Portland, I wouldn’t blame you. /T_h e USL isn’t even the equivalent of Major League Baseball’s minor league system, or even the NBA’s D-League. No team has any affi liation with Major League Soccer (MLS), America’s soccer league. However, following an 11th place /f_i nish last year, 2009 seems to be a year for Portland to get excited.
Many Portlanders already are—the
Timbers’ fan base, the Timbers Army, is growing in numbers. Last year, attendance to Timbers games grew by over 20%, and this was when they sucked. /T_h e numbers aren’t in yet this year, but if you’re walking around downtown on a game night you’re bound to see green and yellow scarves all around.
Especially now, going to a Timbers
game will be well worth what you pay for.
Here are /f_i ve simple reasons to go to a
Timbers game:
1. Cheap Seats. Immediately, you’ll
notice that you get about the same qual-ity of game play as any MLS game you’ll see (which isn’t saying much, but hey), without the high prices. Instead, the best seats in the house are just over $25, as op-posed to $85 for the best seats at a Seattle Rose City ’til I die!
by Robin AubryTimbers hit the USL playoffs—but who are the Timbers?
Sounders game, and you can also get in for as cheap as $14.
2. /T_h e Timbers Army. /T_h e Army (as
Timber fans are called) is infamous for their entertaining and profane chants: “You suck asshole” during an opposing goal kick is a popular one, and the fans also always return to “Rose City before I die!” /T_h e Army /f_i rmly believes that singing “You Are My Sunshine” inspires Timber goals. Rival teams get their nicknames as well: the Sounders of Seattle become the Sounders of Shittle and the Whitecaps of Vancouver become the “Wank-ouver” Whitecaps. /T_h e Timbers Army is the closest you can get in the U.S. to hooliganism in soccer.
3. Timber Joey. Timbers Joey, the mas-
cot of the Portland franchise, will chop or take a chainsaw to a log, and beat his drum. His predecessor Timber Jim used to even scale a standing snag on the pitch.
4. /T_h e T eam. /T_h is season will boast the
second-highest number of victories in the eight years of the Timbers’ third-genera-tion team. Behind the great goalkeeping skills of Steve Cronin (with a .66 goals-against average in 27 games as of Wednes-day), and the powerful off ense of Mand-jou Keita (11 goals scored, T-1st place in league) and Ryan Pore (10 goals scored, T-4th place in league), the Timbers are a hot team to watch.
5. /T_h e Future. Last year, the MLS
granted Portland an expansion team to play starting in the 2011 season. As to be expected, this expansion team will be the Timbers. So, the city and team that held the name Soccer City USA in the 70s will return to the highest tier of American soc-cer—and you can say you were there when they were just a semi-pro team.
/T_h e Timbers will compete in their /f_i rst
playoff game on October 1. Tickets are avail-able at the PGE Park box offi ce.
Portland Timbers celebrate their Commissioner’s Cup win this year.PHOTO COURTESY OF PORTLAND TIMBERS.COM
Calling all sports fans!
e-mail piolog@ lclark.edu if you want to
see your name HERE!
The Weekly Wheelhouse with Robin AubrySports 11 the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
Upcoming LC home athletic events
Women’s Soccer -
Sat. 9/19 — 12 p.m. Sun. 9/20 — 12 p.m.
vs. Pacific Lutheran vs. Puget Sound Griswold Stadium Griswold Stadium/T_h e Lewis & Clark women’s soccer
team (1-0-3) is no stranger to overtime.
/T_h ey tied visiting Evergreen State (1-
1-3) 0-0 in two overtimes Wednesday night for their third scoreless tie of the season. Despite outplaying the Geo-ducks for most of the game and pepper-ing the goal with shots for most of the second half and overtime, the Pioneers could not put one away and again had to settle for a scoreless tie after 110 min-utes.
/T_h e /f_i rst half was fairly even in terms
of scoring chances, but in the second half the Pios turned up the pressure and dominated the Geoduck defense. Katie Cabuling (’13) came up with one of the better shots of the night, rattling the far post from 30 yards out 20 minutes into the second half. Aly Robinson (’11) followed /f_i ve minutes later with a long blast of her own that rocketed right at Evergreen’s goalie. Katie Browning (’11) had another quality shot on goal with 17 minutes left and minutes later Kartina Weisbecker (‘13) ripped a shot from the top of the 18-yard box, but again came up empty.
Evergreen’s best scoring chance all night came with twelve
and a half minutes left off a corner kick, but standout keeper Elise Delgado (’13) snagged the header to crush the visitor’s scoring hopes.LC had two more quality scoring chances in the /f_i nal
seven minutes, but Lishka Havel’s (’10) header off a corner kick sailed high and Browning’s breakaway chance did not get past the Geoduck keeper. Her rebound opportunity was denied by a takeout slide by the goalie on the save attempt.
/T_h e Pioneers continued the heavy pressure in the /f_i rst
overtime. Lexi Bolton (’13) failed to score in a one-on-one opportunity with the goalie and Cabuling missed another solid shot from outside the box. With two minutes left in overtime mid/f_i elder Natalie Stratton (’12) found Cabuling with a cross, but her header missed just wide of the near post.
/T_h e second overtime failed to produce the same quality
chances as the /f_i rst had, but LC still dominated most of the action. When the /f_i nal whistle blew the Pios again had to settle for a 0-0 tie despite outplaying Evergreen for most of the game.
Other than a 5-0 win at home against Northwest
Christian University, the squad has struggled to put points on the board in all their games. But despite the off ensive struggles the team has not allowed a goal by any of their op-ponents this season.
Mid/f_i elder Annie Hancock (’11) admits that the team has
been extremely frustrated with their inability to capitalize on scoring opportunities.
“But as long as [the opponents] aren’t scoring either that’s
a plus,” said defender Aly Robinson (’11). Along with Rob-inson, Havel, Catherine Kitts (’11) and Molli Bauke (’13) anchor the stalwart LC defense in front of keeper Delgado. /T_h e freshman goalie was honored as the Northwest Confer-ence Defensive Player of the Week and has yet to be scored on in her collegiate career. “Our backs are solid, we know what
to do,” Robinson said, and added that she
and the rest of back line are con/f_i dent that
they can all hold their own against any op-ponent. Havel and Robinson were all over
the /f_i eld for most of game, sti/f_l ing the Geo-
ducks every time they tried to mount a sus-
tained attack. Havel won seemingly every 50-50 ball out of the air and was a physical presence all night on both sides of the ball.
/T_h is year’s team features 12 new players,
11 freshmen and transfer Kitts, but despite the relative youth head coach Steve Go-las says the team has a “level of experience with the game we didn’t have a year ago.”
/T_h is year’s freshmen are the /f_i rst class that
Golas recruited himself.
Both Robinson and Hancock said it’s
a relief to have such a deep and talented
bench and that they know they will still
have a highly competitive team out on the
/f_i eld whomever is in the game. Despite /f_i n-
ishing ninth in the conference, they believe they can easily be at the top of standings this season.
“/T_h is year there is a noticeable change in the way we play
and how we play,” Robinson said.
Golas added that the team is excited to get into confer-
ence play and prove they are a force to be reckoned with.
/T_h e soccer team plays their /f_i rst conference game at home
Saturday, Sept. 19 at 12 p.m.
Pioneer soccer shines in another scoreless overtime
PHOTOS BY SAM DODSON
The team celebrates a goal in their 5-0 win over Northwest Christian University
on Sept. 7. The victory is the only game in which the Pios have scored this year.
Katie Browning (’12) takes on a Geoduck de-
fender Wednesday evening. Browning pres-sured the defense with a game high six shots.
Katie Cabuling (’13) slides to take the ball from
an Evergreen forward in the 0-0 tie in double overtime at home on Wednesday, Sept. 16.by Michael G. RichmanVolume 73, Number 1 Backdoor 12the Pioneer Log, September 18, 2009
Top Ten You Caught My Eye
Please e-mail your“You Caught My Eye” to piolog@lclark.edu ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD JONAS
YOU: BIG THICK RIMMED GLASSES
ME: BIG THICK RIMMED HEART. WE SHOULD
SHARE BOTH, I WONT TELL YOU I HAVE 20/20.
BEFORE THEY WERE F AMOUS
YOU: LOVER OF LIFE, BEAUTY AND TRUTH,
SEEKER OF HAPPINESS AND A GOOD VERMOUTH
ME: HOPELESS ROMANTIC SEEKING A PART-TIME TIME LOVER AND A FULL-TIME FRIENDATHEIST SCHOLAR OF YAHWEH AND ALLAH,
YOUR SAPPHIRE EYES MAKE ME WANNA CALL YA.
YOU: KINDRED SPIRIT OF MR. JOSEPH CORNELL, DARK-
HAIRED BEAUTY AND GODDESS OF THEATRE GEL
ME: TIMID ADMIRER OF YOUR SNAPPY STYLE, LOOKING TO KNOW YOU, DEAR BIBLIOPHILEYOU: MAN IN THE MIRROR
ME: LOOKIN FINE
YOU: EX TRACK, GLASSES, BEAUTIFUL NOSE
ME: BRUNETTE GODDESS. WANNA PUT THAT
NOSE TO USE?
The professors of Lewis & Clark were once humble babes like yourself. In an incendiary new exposé, this Backdoor reporter
tracked them back to yesteryear. Back to their diaper-wearing, acne-sporting days. Back before they were famous.
Kurt Fosso
Current Occupation: English Professor, Rockstar
Used to be: a beardling
Kurt’s mother, Fanny Fosso, was kind enough to sit down with the Backdoor for this exclusive interview:
Backdoor: Fanny, could you tell us an anecdote,
maybe give us a little peek into Kurt’s childhood?Fanny: Oh, certainly. Once when Kurtis was still
a wee one, about �ive years of age, Uncle Clarence asked him his age. Being the precocious young’un he was, he responded, “Five years have past since my birth; �ive summers, with the length of �ive long winters!” I think that describes dear Kurtis per-fectly.Backdoor: What about the beard?
Fanny: Oh, he never let his fur bother him much
even when he was a young’un, and I must say it made him quite a hit with the ladies until they re-alized that kissing Kurtis was like kissing a wook-ie. Cleaning spit-up out of it was always a hassle, though. We tried to shave it once, but dear Kurtis looked so strange without it that we never did again. He’s told me he has tattoos under it nowa-days and mumbled something about someone named Little[sic] Wayne, but I’ve never seen them and I don’t approve of tattoos.Backdoor: How do you feel about your son’s mete-
oric rise to fame?Fanny: Oh, he’ll always be my little Kurtis. I gave birth
to that prickly-bearded babe, which was no cake-walk. I remind him of the pain of that experience from time to time, and it takes him down a notch.Elliot Young
Current Occupation: Professor of History Used to be: Slickest Man Alive, Child StarChana Cox
Current Occupation: Humanities ProfessorUsed to be: on CIA watch lists, Arctic Explorer
The pictures are all you need.
PHOTO COURTESY OF THE FOSSO FAMILY
Elliot brie�ly �lirted with child stardom, but Maccauley Caulkin beat him to the punch on Home Alone and his career never recovered.Things you wish your parents wouldn’t say
10) This will only hurt once.9) Your new girlfriend kind of looks like your mom, don’t you think?8) Jake, Tom, Larry, and Frances are just my parchesi friends, punkin. 7) No, you’re just different, honey.6) Jagerbombs!5) Have you seen my Cialis?4) You’ll �ind someone that’s worthy of you eventually.3) Well, son, it’s like performing a play for an extremely judgemental audience night after night, except you’re naked.2) That dent in your head was totally my bad.1) I’m glad I didn’t pull out that night, son.
Before Chana was a Lewis & Clark Professor,
she was something of a hooligan. She earned her doctorate while subsisting in the wilderness of Salmon River, Idaho. During this time she also was hunted by a bear, killed said bear and lived for over a year on the fat of said bear. Other than bears she faced starvation, bug infestations, poor sanitation and CIA agents curiously interested in her bath-room habits.
For various, unclear reasons she left her wilder-
ness home for the cold climes of the Arctic. Biogra-phers have long debated her motivations for this move, but the general consensus is that she was looking for Frankenstein’s Monster, much to the chagrin of all E&D students ever.
Today a weathered Chana lives a relatively quiet
life as a Humanities professor at Lewis & Clark, but still warns eager freshmen: “You seek for knowl-edge and wisdom, as I once did; and I ardently hope that the grati�ication of your wishes may not be a serpent to sting you, as mine has been.”