Title
The Pioneer Log: Lewis & Clark College's Student-Run Newspaper
Description
[Volume 53, Number 17] [Presto Log]
Subject
Lewis & Clark College Student Newspaper
Creator
Pioneer Log Staff
Date
1989-04-01
Format
pdf
Type
Newspaper
Rights
For questions about rights statements, or access to the original document please contact Lewis & Clark College Special Collections and Archives http://specialcollections.lclark.edu
http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/InC/1.0/
http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/InC/1.0/
Full Text
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• r IF ONLY THIS WERE THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF LEWIS AND CLARK COLLEGE APRIL 1, 1989
LC Solves Accreditation Dilemma
by Becoming Junior College
By LOU S. ENCLARC
Pf8Sto Log staff
Lcwts and Clark College
solved us rcaccrcditauon dtlemmo
yesterday and bocrune, tn an un
heard-of sh1ft of pnonty, o JUntor
college
'The battle with the North
west Association of Schools and
Colleges to rcgam our accrcd.lted
smtu" has been o tough one, but tt
looks like we've finally found the
answer" Lcshc Baxter, Assoc.tate
Provost, satd
"LC'JC' tt ktnd of roll-; nicely
o£ftl1ctongue," Demsc Thompson,
Acting Dean of Students, satd.
The admtntsttn tion hopes that
!his move w1ll allow the college tD
bcttcraccomodmea broader cross·
section of students.
ln a prepared statement,
Emanuel Rose. Chwr of the BoanJ
or Trustees, srud "We will be
e~ndang our focus to tnclude
greater socio-economic, culwral
and ethmc d&versJty, and attracting
more students because enrollment
hasn't been as h1gh as we would
like u to be"
New rn8JOrs to be offered will
mcludc car mechantcs, rap mus1c A lign on lS South announa:a the new name of l.£wiJ and a.n: College,
Lcwta and Ctartc Junior CoUeae Phot:1 by F Stop Fitzgomld
and fast food restaurant managc
menL Majors to be ehmated m
clude business. mtemauonal af
faus and English.
''They're JUSt Mickey Mouse
maiors anyway:· Clarence Davts,
Dean of the College of An.s and
Sctences, said.
The Northwestern School of
Law will become Sacaj8wea State
Beaury College. Stephen Kanter will conunue as dean of the school
down the hall from the main inpor
tantschool and feels posiuvc about
tJus change.
'Tve never rolled curlers be
fore and am looking forward to the
leammg expcnence." he said.
These changes take effect
trnmedtately Check theregtstrar' s
office for detwls on !iehcdule
changes. Business Office
Indicted by Court
By MAOTEN OU
Presto Log staff
An indepcndenl auditing fum has uncovered information which
indicL~ the Lcw1s and Clarlc Bus mess Office on charges of racketeer·
ing and embeuJemenl.
The mvc~ttgauon revealed divcr.;ioo of funds from a wide runge
of accounrs to an uccount which funded clandestine mtdnight parties
an Templeton where alcohol was served to minors.
"I had no idea this was going on," Honnie Klees. Acting
Director of Res1dencc Life, said. "We will take step~ to remedy the
situauon just as we did when the asbestos sirw.uion got c:bngerous."
The mvesugation began on a tip from the Pionur Log which
was concerned about dJ.Snppcaring funds from its accounL
"It was like a black hole, .. Lynn Roscnumer , Busanes~ Manoger,
sasd. "We could.n 'l und~r.and where the money was going."
Apparently, the Busmess Ofhce was overcharging everyone
for everythmg an the time.
"We're talkmg hundreds of mill10ns of dollars here,'' Mister
Audit, head of Lhe invesugation. srud.
Wayne Pederson, Vice Pre~tdent for Bu~iness and FinD nee said
that m order 1.0 remedy the stwauon. wition for on undetcnnined
number of yea~ will rise by 150% each year.
"We'll nll have to dig into our pockets a bit," he said.
The infringement'> on the alcohol policy h3ve rcsullcd in the
campus becoming dry. effective immediately. Armc.d secunty
guards will be s1.ationcd :Strali!gically throughout campus to enforce
this new policy.
"We don't want to hun anyone but if it comes to thut, well .. .''
Officer Mooney said. "This is a serious situation that demunds
serious consequences."
Janitor Candidates
Visit Campus
By JOSE CANUSEE
Presto Log staff
Seven janitorial candidates
addressed a capacity crowd in the
Counctl Chamber yeslerdoy,
speak.tng on sue h 1 sue.<> as the rei a-Live ments of different cleaning
products, the alcohol policy in
Tern pleton. the Prc.sidenti.ll Search.
the policy of u. ing a tr..LSh blower
to blow leaves off campus path·
ways and Lewis and Clark' · de
ferred accredstation.
Sean Penn Keynotes First Hate Week .. I would like to sa: a kinder,
cleaner campus." one candidate
srud. "Lew1s and Clark needs a
person who cm1 help the campus to
achteve new heights m "'uch areas
as toilet cleaning. l am that man." By EO ITORINCHIEF
Presto Log staff
D1scussing the importance of
hale m society, the fli'St annual
ltwts and Clark College Hate
Week sponsored a number of
~mmars and workshops for all
cymcal, depressed and man10cal
people.
The h1ghlightoflhe week, held
Marth 20 to 2A, was o lecture given
by keynote speaker Sean Penn,
famed actor and pris1on advocate.
The s-peech, held m the Coun·
ttl Chamber on March 20, wns
attended by over 1,000 hate-filled
people who became even more
hateful due to the crowded condi·
liOns.
Penn, who arrived 30 minutes
late, grumbled a few heated words
about the large crowd and then
began to discuss how hate has
helped him tD enjoy life.
"I hate life, thus I enjoy 11," he
said
Penn mentioned how his ex
Pttiences with journalists has
• tmproved his social and speaking
AbU s.
"I hate reporters and photog-raphers," he srud.
At this point, a photogrnpher
auempted to ta.lce a photo of Penn,
who m tum assaulted the photog·
rapher.
Penn concluded hlS speech by
opening the floor for dtscussion .
When asked about how he became
such a hateful bcmg, Penn re
sponded carefully.
"I don'tlcnow,'' he said.
When asked t.fhe would sepa·
rate from htS celebrity wife. Ma·
donna, Penn gave a shock.ulg an
swer.
"No, but that Jean Kempc
Ware is a babe,'' he swd.
Penn ended the evening by
leaving the crowd with one finnl
thoughL
"1 hate you all," he said.
At this pomt, an un&dentified
source shouted that he hated Penn
as wc.ll. A bystander shouted that
she hnted the unidentified source.
Another person shouted that he
hated Lewis and Clark College
while someorne else asked who
Lewis and Clark were anywoy.
Soon a riot began, due to the heated
moment. the hateful crowd, and
the anticipation of getting out of the crowded chamber fi!SL
The riot was soon controlled
andaudJence mcmbel:scommented
on the evening.
"It sucked,'' Alice Nolan, Stu·
dent organizer, said.
"1 wasn't tnterested in the
event atoll, I was there JUSt to look
at Sean," Arwen Rosenbaum, sen
~~. srud.
"It was a most moving e~peri~
encc." Todd Bauenfield, sc.ntor, satd. "I thtnk the Plau.fonn should
start havang hate days."
"1 learned many mteresting
things and 1 was ama1cd by thas
man's eloquem spealong ~Is."
Peter Chri. tenson, Professor of
Commumcauons. S&Jd.
The second annual Hate Week
will be held an March, 1990 and the
keynote speaker wtll be Mike
Tyson.
Actor Scan Penn is bounded by repor1.c!n followina his kcynoc.c addre.aa
Mud\ lO dUJ'ina Hllo Wcc.k. Pfto*' by Lw ~ One candidate, who re-
sembled fonner LC president
James Gardner, refused to com
ment but said off the record: .. ll's
h.tgh nme that we gel those drunken
SOFA representauves out of the
guuer."
The seven candidates are
vytng for a Single hou.;ekeeping
position in a donn. The name of
the donn, as well as the names of
all the candidnt.cs are being with
held at t.he request of most every
one who mean" anything at the . . .
&nSUlUbOn.
"We don't want there to he
any problems or embanussing ~itu
ations;· an upper·lcve.l admini .
tnltor, who wished to remain an~
onymou.'<, said. "We want the Com·
munity to be involved with t.hcsc
decisions. but nor too involved."
The prescnt.ntions by the can
didates were followed by a brief
quostion and answer session, bul
because t.he.re were no imponant
people like Trustees or Adminis
lnltors in the audience, the forum
was cut short. Students Hit Streets
to Pay Thition
.. e' cr..tl Lcwi und Clark College 'tudcnt.s were involved in n
prosutution ring opcr:1ting in Ponland nnd Sc.mlc, the Portland vice
squud ~id Friday.
Lieutenant Ham· \ tgorito ~id ntleast20 undergruduat.cs wert
arrc~ted in one of tht. m~t sen~tionoJ busts in recent hi ·tory
• Thc."t. are wholesome Amcri~n kid:i who 'old thcm,clvcs to
~W)' in sc.hool," Vigorito satd. Police rofu"Cd to rctcao;~ the nome.."
but said the studentS had turned to the world's second oldest
profc ·sion to pay skyrocketing tuition bills
PR Director Finalist
for President Spot
Sources close to the Prcstdcnunl Search Commiuee have
ltill..ed mformauon to the Presto LfJg whtch sugge..'\ts Jean Kempe
\\ ore. Lewis and Clar\.'s On-ector of Pubhc Relnuons. ss a fsnaHst
m the ..earth for LC'5 new Prcs1dent
"\\ e're really C'\CU.ed about Jean, .. the soun:e ~rud .. Not only
is she the onl} woman finaltst and the only Ctnabsl currently
employed by the College. her real fortt tS that sho can talk to the
medaa ..
Bccaust Kempe. Ware is already employed at LC. 11 was not
necessary for the Pr~sto Log to wtthhold her nome from pubhca-
tion. •
Former President
Named College
Chaplain
•
Former Lewis and Clnrlc PresidcntJun Gardner hns been asked
to return to LC as the new Chaplam, ending a four month search for
a replacement for JJm SllJa.rt.
"I just want tO work 10 achieve peace and brotherhood tn th1C\
community;· nn excited Gnrdner said by telephone from hts home
"I want 10 have a community where we all can be fnends ...
STUDENTS NEEDED FOR
PAINFUL RETINA FLUID
EXPERI1\1ENTS.
ActU.a.lly , tb.e Pioneer Log b. looking
tor t.lll os:t spirits seeking crea.ti ve
outlets in the ar ea.s: oiv.rritin.gan.d
pb.otography. Oi.ve us a holler at x2~01 Presto t.og, April t, 1989
By CAD ILLACTAB
Presto Log staff
i\ nl'w I nt( rim Acting lnstitu
tionalh cd Committee lor Plnnnmg
Acceptably Non Rcprcscnt.novc
Sohllions to MnJor Problems nnd Ovc~eing and Regulating Gov
cmancc at rhc lnslituHon of L~was
untl Clark College met for the fu'Sl
umc yesterday and was nppnrcntly
htulcd as successful by t.hc Office
of the Provost. a
·n1c PrrHo I og wus unable to
spcnk wath the Provost du'CCtly,
but spoil.c nt ono umc or another to
nll 19 of her ~rewr ics and viSited
with lho dogs who share her offtcc
Audio Active Button Blamed for Fire
By I.M ACULPRITT
Presto Log staff
An uudio active button
s" itched on in the language. lnb is
.,u,pcctoo to be the c nusc ol the fire
)'CStt:.rrlay thnt resulted tn the gut
ung of the adjoming ScnJnman
Thn. t.er cln.'isroomo.;
Unul new clao;srooms can be
built student-; will not have to ot
tend language lab
As mvcsugators sa fled through
the rubble or chnrrcd blue head
phones and tape recorders, studen~
hadakcggeron Lhc lawn m front of
Stcwan to celebrate the end or
language tab for the year
"As much as I love the French
language. 1 won "t mt\S gomg to
lnb C'est dommagc, mats Ia v1e
conunue," Rach Lcw1s, scmor
French and pobucol scaencc ma
JOr, said. Anton Andercggcn , Profcs.-.or
of French. mamuuncd , however,
1hat c.lasscs wall c.ontmuc to be
held
"It's spring, so cia scs can be
held outstdc, but the smell of ~make is a bn overpowering right now,"
he srud
Tht anvesugnuon wiU con·
onuc unullhcculpnt wsth the happy
fmgcr tS found
Asbestos Found in
Provost's 0 • zce
By A. 9. SEE
Presto Log staff
AsbestOs diSCovered yestcr
day falling from the cethng or the
Provo·t•s Office was cleaned up
smmediac.ely through the dahgent
effortS of an outside toxac waste
removal crew who funneled the
lethal powder out of the Manor
House in vacuum tubes to the Faculty Office Bmldlngs and For
est Oonns.
"It seemed like the best solu
uon to n potenttatly very messy
problem," Provost Jacquelyn
Mnu.feld wrote an 8 prepared state
ment to the Prtsto wg. "By fun
neling the waste directly lO two
specsfic areas, only 8 hmued
number of community members
wall be affected."
ARE YOU A MINOR?
WANT TO BUY BEER AND CAN'T?
COME TO THE MARRIOTT OFFICE AND RECEIVE
YOUR OFFICIAL ILLEGIAL OREGON STATE
DRIVERS LISCENSE. THIS OFFER IS AVAILABLE
ONLY TO STUDENTS WITH A CURRENT VALIDATION
STICKER. A FEE OF $10.00 WILL BE BILLED TO
YOUR PARENTS. BROUGHTTOYOUBYASL CANDTHEOLCC
CRIMEBEAT
L----------------- -.. ____ ... Oil Spill
Threatens
Delicate
Reflection
Pond
Ecosystem The purpose of Cnmcbeat as to make the Lewis and Clad
Community more aware of cnmc on campus. By creating an aware·
ness. st is the [..()g's purpose to holp mem~ of the LC community
protect themselves from being vtcumiz.ed . Lists are comptled by
reports from security. Alcn Secunty tf anythmg suspicious is ob
served, exL 2779 or 0.
YOUNG AMERICANS!
Here's your chance to protect U.S.
democracy and work for peace in
Central America. This is a rare oppor
tunity to support your country while
raping, murdering, and torturing
hundreds and thousands of innocent
civilians and make money to go to-
wards your college education~
Now's Your Chance: Join the ... A truck loaded wath many
gallon~ or crude ost ran out of
control and ovenumcd in the re.
OecLing pond yesterday.
"We're not sure yet what the
envtronmental1mpact will be, bul
the wUdhfe lhat live m the pond
wtll most likely be affected, ..
Dennis Pagney. Oll"ector of Physt
cal Plant Services, srud.
Exxon offictals to whom the
truck was regL~tered were mysu
fied as to why the truck was on
Lower Campus m the first place. r March 18: Car vandalized by Aubrey Watzak library
r March 19: Computet virus in regtsaur computer
r March 20: Fonner President Gardner's Subaru stolen fCJ
secunty purposes
r March 21: Computer varus returns to registrar computct
r March 21: Unadentified gang loots SAGA kitchen. steals
food
r March 23: Pamplin Sport.~ Center stolen
r March 25: Bike stolen by Agnes Flanagan chapel
r Mwch 26: Clulpct demolished; Gracetand monwnent
erected against building codes
March 27~ Condom machinc..q stolen fTom dorms
They clauned Lower Campus was not on the truck'~ scheduled The Presto wg is published once in a blue moon and is
route. not at all affiliated with Lewis and Clark College, ASLC
The College was scrambling or the Pioneer Log. In the spirit of April Fools' Day, the
yest.erday to conc.act alumna to staff sincerely hopes none of this will be taken seriously
donate funds for the clean-up as
this expense was not antictpat.ed .._0_r_pe_rso_n_a_11_Y_· ______________ .,.
by tbt Board of Trustees. Ian Gee
Ruling, S
By JIM SOCKS
Presto Log staff
ln the lutcstanvcsli
Fi~cr" Perry, reporu: hu
th~.-test scores of presol
above the Propostoon 4
[sr.,t year uthlcte..\ to sat
700 on the Schola.c;uc
College Tc.c;t) and a 2.0
Perry was convictq
ncction wath u maJor
Kennel Club. He wns
$10,000. lie Interplea
sporu bribery as pnn (
Umversaty
Gee, who led Lc
unavnilablc for commc1
aMotc16 m suburbanS
mto the NCAA champi
Further invesogad
Ji.kcly thlS Wtll be Gee'
from coUcgune al.hlcuc
Vi~ons Of T~e Fu
No one had seen co~
that they still eXIsted
there .. we were still ~
so there had 10 be co
never had bones ... no
always a consist.ant 7
my mind t remcmbe1
vary .. at least when l
we heard the truth. <
from a smgle cell ... p
like a furry puffball a
"orgamc" nutncnts t1
rcachcd .. thc propers
get them to grow m t
for packagmg they~
I bought a new ~i
gave me twenty t
exchange. The oJ
old and seemed p
that our farruly HJ
how her small bl1
the bowl or albur
she was unsure "'
cx.platned to her 1
a virtually pcrfec
was really quite t
would sort of dril
SliaWS. 1 told he•
that dtdn't seem ~
She dtdn't actual1
what was for des
we the resj
staff would
the grose p
have been s
could see lhe flrs
her eye as she s~
1 of strawberry jeu
as the jello close~
foot, making lhc
maccaroni docs
dtrcclly afcer co
Walked over to • •ce cold prune j
before but my m
a luer of it she
• s.ner to watch
dad went to the
five hours witho
Without any he
Waited for her to
back to my jello •
•
• rresco to~, Aprill, 1989 Pasee 3
Ian Gee Violates Sports
Ruling, Sha~nes LC Virus Gets in Registrar's Computers
BY JIM SOCKS
Presto l.og staff
In the latest invc-.ltgutton of spon.CJ agcnv'gamblcr R1chtc ''the
fixer" Perry. report.'i hove revealed that three years ago Perry f•xcd
the test -.core~; of prc.~nl LC pomt guard lan Gee to qualtfy him
above the Propos1llon 48 rules. Propo\1Uon 48 requires all NCAA
rtr.~t yecu athletes to sit out o year 1r they failtonchicvc a combmed
700 on the Scholosuc Aputude Test (or IS on tho Amen~m
College Test) and a 2 0 gmde pomt average
Perry was convicted in 1974 of spon.c; bnbcry chnrges in con
nection wuh a meljor Portland bctlJng sc.1ndal at Multnomah
Kennel Club. Ht wns sentenced to two ycnt'!i 10 pnson and hned
SlO.OOO. He later pleaded guilty tn 1984 to conspttang to commit
sporb bribery as pan of a pomt shavmg scandal al Wtllameu.e
• •
Unavcr~my
Gee, who led Lewb und Clnrk to lhc Fmal Four, hac; been
unuvailablc for comment. One roponer has identified him outstde
a Motcl6 m suburban Seattle. Gee ted the nuuon m nsStsts going
mto the NCAA champtonshtp game at the Kmgdomo Monday
Further investigauons will resume after the game, but ll is
hlcely th•s wtll be Gee's last before a suspens1on or possible ban
from collegtate athlcucs.
Vl~ons Of The Fu!ure Arrived A! One Evenin~ ...
No one had seen cows an years, we just assumed
that they stiU ex.isted ... they had always been
there .. we were still able lO buy meat in t.he market.
so lllere had LO be cows .. nghl? The meal available
never had bones ... none ... and tho fat eontem was
always a consistan t ?% ... somewhere in the back of
my mind 1 remembcrd that this level of fat used to
vary .. atleast when I would buy hamburge r. Then
we heard the trulll. Cows were now being raised
from a sangle ceU ... phmos showed us what looked
like a furry puflball mushroom ... machines pumped
"organ1c" nutnents through t.hc ... blob ... unuJ tt
reached .. the proper saze. I hear they're trying to
get them to grow 10 the shape of a box now, easter
for packag1ng they say I grow my own vegetables now.
1 bought a new sister yesterday. Mom and Dad
gave me twenty bucks and 1 took her to the
exchange. The one I bought was twelve year~
old and seemed pretty nice. She seemed shocked
lhat our family liked to cat albumin. 1 kept nottcmg
how her small blue eyes kept glancing over at
the bowl of albumin sitting just to her left as though
she was unsure wether or not she could eat it. 1
explruncd to her the albumin or egg whites contained
a vinua1ly perfect balance of amino acids and thus
wa really quite a good thing to eat. Actually we
would sort of dnnk. 1t through stainless steel
straws. I told her that my old sister liked it but
that dtdn't seem to make any differance to her.
She didn't actually lhrow up until I showed her
what was for dessert and w
W e the rest of the Pres to Log
staff w ould like to apologise for
the grose prose that our readers
have been subjected to over the
could see the fiTst gleam of pleasure in
her eye as she sunk her left foot into the pail
of strawberry jeUo. The dog watched closely
as lhc jello closed together over the top of her
foot, making the type of noise the elbow
macearoni docs when being sti.rred with a probe
directly afrer cooking. I digress. My mom
Walked over to us carrying two taU glasses of
icc cold prune juice. I had never had the stuff
before but my mom said that if we both drank
a bter of it she wouldn't have to hire a baby
sitter to watch us that evening when she and
dad went to the symphony. Freedom ... a whole
five hours without parental supervision!
Without any hesitation I downed the juice,
waued for her to finish hers. and then went
back to my jello experiments. By ZACK TEEVEE
PrtJsto Log staff
A computu virus plagued tho
rcgistnr '(Omputcr over Spnng
Brc.ak, dc..llpilt.Academic Com pul
ing repeated efforts to removt. 1L.
"From now on we will usc
condoms over our modems to keep
this lrorn happening," Mike Cut
lcm, Director of Academic Com puling, said.
Professors had not yet turned
in gmdcs when this happened so
Wmu. r Term grudc." were not af.
focu:d, but according to Regi.strnr
Bob Wilken, all gn•de\ from the
lust six y~ have been los&.
·•we don t really think this
will be a problem, " Wilken srud.
"Since l.cwt-. und Clurk is on the
honor sy t.em. we don't think there will be any problem Wllh student
just coming in and telling us what
their grndcs were and whnt clu.~cs
they took."
StudcnL~ wm be called in on
an individual bosi~ to provide tl1eir
cla~~ information to the rcgisuur.
Five pieces ol 10, including dr.tft
rcgistrJtion cards, wtll be required
to have grade infonootion entered
into lhe computers .
Books Burned in English Seminar Room
By CLARA NETT
Presto Log staff
Over 500 Lewis und Clark
English maJors gathered in the
English scmmar room yesterday
lor a ceremonial book-burmng of
Norton Anthology of Lttemturc
Volume Ones
The 200 mtUJon page bable
wetght book contams such trcas
urc.s a~ B~owulf, Paradtse Lost .
assorted lyncal ballads and TM
DurchtH of Malfi and 1s requtted
rcadmg for maJOrs
Some students donned capes
and earned mccnse burners and
candles. At ftrSt one mighl have
thought it wnsacommunity-build-ing work.-.hop and might have
cxpcclcd to hear the melodious
st11Uns of Kum Ba Ya, but !\ud
dcnly from the heated darkness,
someone shouted "Down with • Mtlton" and all hell broke loose
"B towulf \ucks, ·· A ll~on
Baker, sophomore English mnJOr,
said, nmgmg her t.exl mto the bnl
liant orange names.
Apparently, the students who
paructpatcd m the book bummg
dtd not upprectat.c thee las 1c reso
nance of such works of exll80rdi·
nary hterary ment nnd burned their
books in protest of the require·
menL
"Itlikedoesn't helpmeundc.r
stnnd the modem vts1on at all," Kirsu:n Rian, senior Engli h mu·
jor. said.
The fircpi;)CC where th • bum·
ing took place hnd never before
been uS4:d and no one knew cxuctly
why il was bu1lL.
Jack Hart. Profcs.'>or of Eng·
tish, said that the fireplace was
used once for SOlc.nficing phy,ic4\
majors, resuJung tn a chimney fire
when body pane; became lodged in
Lhe flue. Because of this fU'C. the
administration has di.c;couragcd its
use.
"It would be a good place to
sit and drink home brew.·· Thomas
J. Cunnmgham Ul,junior Enghsh
mnjor, 5ald.
-ZIG ZAG
ZIG Z;\G
ZIGZAG ZIG ZAG VTG ZAG· ZIG ZAG
ZIG ZAG 'V!IG Zi\G ZIG ZAG
ZIG ZAG ~IG ZAG ZIG ZAG
MADE ORG~N CALLY ~(• ~ SMOKIN·~ PLEASURE
HOW MONEY IS REALLY DISTRIBUTED TO THE POPLILACE
IN Tl-IE TRICKLE-DOWN Tl-IEORY OF OUR GOVERNMENT:
CIA
$30.00 ad
1. Bee Printing Company 3. Tom Cunningham
• Paper Industry
• Ink Industry
• Ear plugs
• Fred Meyer & Thrittwoy 2. lewis and Clark
College A One ptnt ale at Widmer Pub
• Matt Industry
• Hop growers ot Oregon
• Dlshwoshlng soap Industry
• Petrochemlcatlndustry
The Common Man
Fred Meyer once again
Conclusion: The CIA stlpports Fred Meyer • Prt"'ifO Los:. April 1, 1989
This pace Provided as a Public ervice Announcement by the Presto Log: •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• THE STUDENT t,
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• PUBL1 HFD D...\1LU By XLOND1JGE PRESS, 1NC. rR.1DA.Lj, rt.ARC~ 10, t989 PORTLAND, O:REBON f'R.tt
e
8\' THE EDITOR-IN
CHIEF
lelis~a Lim, studem
extrnordinaire, and Gary
Schmidt, beuer student e.x
traordinaire. dissalistfied
with the inadequac> of the
~tudent newspaper of Lewis
• md Clark College. the Pio
neer Log. decided to stan
their own paper, Tlzt Scoop.
The paper began us fir t
issue March 9 and will be
one page in lt!ngth. ews
•
'
.. 1 JUSt wasn't getting
enough creative freedom
with the Lo~ ... lim said .. So
many restnction linutcd
my self expresston and JUSt
didn't give me a good feel
ing. II was a dictator htp ..
Alison Baker, Ednor tn
Chlef of the Log, was un
a~ ailable for comment be
cause we didn't want to take
the nme to talk to her.
Sc..hmidt \\as unavailable
for comment because he was
preol'Cupied playing educa-
Chapel Demolished;
'Graceland' Erected
BY THE FEAT RE
EDITOR
On March 5 the Chapel
wa demolished by three LC
Students who~e name~ were
not made public at press time.
The students performed
the act to protest the resigna
tion of fonner Chaplain, Jim
Stu an.
"Jtm was always a big
fan of Elvts Presley, so we
built the only thang we could
to commerate 11m as a Chap
lain and friend, .. one of the
three demolishers ~wud.
They buill a replica of
Graceland, Elvis Presley's
mansion in Tennessee . .. Now we can remember
Jim as we knew him ~ 'The
King', ,the same anonymous
student satd.
Freedom
r pick up an issue of the
Pioneer Log
r read the stories
And spit on it until my
mouth is dry
Now I cannot breathe
This is a symbol of my
inability to say what I want
But now I am free
But now I am free
But now 1 am free
But now I am free
FREE RECTAL EXAMINATIONS
Where: Outside the Trail room
When : Monday April 3rd 7am-Spm
This service is provided free to students by a
generous gift from the Reagan Colan Cancer
Foundati?n . In a. quick and painless procedure, a sample
of deep ussue .wtll be removed ~rom the large intestine
and analyz~d m or~er to dete~e whether or not any
of the celJs m quesuon are mahgnant.
Questions? Call Student Health Services at Ext.4086 ee
uonal mmd game~ on the
computer.
The two are very e cited
10 be pubh!\htng thetr own
paper
"l am vtrv happy to be
\\ orking wHh Gary be<..Juse
he meets all tn) nt'attve
needs; Ltm sa1d .
Schmtdt was sttll un
available for comment as the
educanonal game was get
ung really good.
The paper can be found
around the greater Portland
area.
Pamplin
Sports
Center
Stolen
BY THE SPORT
EDITOR
Pamphn Spons Center
was reported stolen March
8, Fred Wilson, LC Athletic
Director, said.
There is one suspect.
.. Dean Sempert did it,''
Wilson said. "Jerry Gatto,
[Athletic Director succed
ing Wilson J dared him to do
itandhedid. I'mimpre ssed."
The entire building was
stolen completely off its
foundation. A note was left
which said "I did it, from
Dean." Authorities. after
days of investigating, fig
ured out that it was Dean
Sempen.
Classes and sporting
events that used the center
are being held in the library
until Sempert gives the build
ing back. • •
rzntzn~
COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE:
Jean Kempe-Ware named LC President
Manor House on Fire, Provost trapped inside
Exchange students come to LC from Baton Rouge, LA
What 1 did over Spring Break, by Melissa Lim
P1os lose everything, coaches sent to Dammasch
-
-
Mdtna l.am and Gary Schmtdt, 1tudcnt.a ul,.onllnatre, aLan lhcm own peper,
TM Sc(XJp. Phob by Mol~ Lin
I I
EDITOR-IN CHIEF
GARY SCHMIDT
MANAGING EDrJ'OR
MELISSA LIM
NEWS EDITOR
GARY SCI-IMIDT
FORUM EDITOR
MELISSA LIM
FEATURES EDITOR
MELISSA LIM
SPORTS EDITOR
GARY SCHMIDT
ADVERTISING MANAGER
GARY SCHMIDT
BUSINESS MANAGER
MELISSA LIM
WRITERS
MELISSA LIM, GARY SCHMIDT
PIIOTOGRAPHERS
MELISSA LIM, GARY SCHMIDT
PRODUCTION PEOPLE
MELISSA LIM. GARY SCHMIDT _.... ~ . ~ .
·~
By USA KAATZ and CHFi
Pooeer Log staff
Lewis and Clarlc Co
host the Eaghth Annus
Sllld•esSymposaum Mon
10 through Wednesday,
on the theme "Visions w
for Change" which will
Ill interdisciplinary apt
&eodcr issues. Featured
tOOiudc poo.t June Jord
F11lh Reingold and poJit
risl DaJc Spender.
WhiletheGenderSy
pins national recognili~
uptorauon of gendet
SymposiUm Coordina(
Atkinson explruned that
~ium also helps to bridl
between the campus and
Dity
"Every year our
becomes wider and more
sbe satd.
The Symposium isal
because studenr participol
ISsJon.c: gives students ~
lllnhy to take something 1
llnlleo and rework it to
discussaons, Atkinson
lC Students will not on I~
~nunity to modera~
but also to sit on the
!*leis. Many of the
ltworlong their senior
~r nuijor research
~rating them into ~
Dons.
'The symposium
~!he boundaries bet wee
• and the co
Atkinson said. "It acts as
((rnew adcas and debe
enable people to ~
'
•
•
I
• r IF ONLY THIS WERE THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF LEWIS AND CLARK COLLEGE APRIL 1, 1989
LC Solves Accreditation Dilemma
by Becoming Junior College
By LOU S. ENCLARC
Pf8Sto Log staff
Lcwts and Clark College
solved us rcaccrcditauon dtlemmo
yesterday and bocrune, tn an un
heard-of sh1ft of pnonty, o JUntor
college
'The battle with the North
west Association of Schools and
Colleges to rcgam our accrcd.lted
smtu" has been o tough one, but tt
looks like we've finally found the
answer" Lcshc Baxter, Assoc.tate
Provost, satd
"LC'JC' tt ktnd of roll-; nicely
o£ftl1ctongue," Demsc Thompson,
Acting Dean of Students, satd.
The admtntsttn tion hopes that
!his move w1ll allow the college tD
bcttcraccomodmea broader cross·
section of students.
ln a prepared statement,
Emanuel Rose. Chwr of the BoanJ
or Trustees, srud "We will be
e~ndang our focus to tnclude
greater socio-economic, culwral
and ethmc d&versJty, and attracting
more students because enrollment
hasn't been as h1gh as we would
like u to be"
New rn8JOrs to be offered will
mcludc car mechantcs, rap mus1c A lign on lS South announa:a the new name of l.£wiJ and a.n: College,
Lcwta and Ctartc Junior CoUeae Phot:1 by F Stop Fitzgomld
and fast food restaurant managc
menL Majors to be ehmated m
clude business. mtemauonal af
faus and English.
''They're JUSt Mickey Mouse
maiors anyway:· Clarence Davts,
Dean of the College of An.s and
Sctences, said.
The Northwestern School of
Law will become Sacaj8wea State
Beaury College. Stephen Kanter will conunue as dean of the school
down the hall from the main inpor
tantschool and feels posiuvc about
tJus change.
'Tve never rolled curlers be
fore and am looking forward to the
leammg expcnence." he said.
These changes take effect
trnmedtately Check theregtstrar' s
office for detwls on !iehcdule
changes. Business Office
Indicted by Court
By MAOTEN OU
Presto Log staff
An indepcndenl auditing fum has uncovered information which
indicL~ the Lcw1s and Clarlc Bus mess Office on charges of racketeer·
ing and embeuJemenl.
The mvc~ttgauon revealed divcr.;ioo of funds from a wide runge
of accounrs to an uccount which funded clandestine mtdnight parties
an Templeton where alcohol was served to minors.
"I had no idea this was going on," Honnie Klees. Acting
Director of Res1dencc Life, said. "We will take step~ to remedy the
situauon just as we did when the asbestos sirw.uion got c:bngerous."
The mvesugation began on a tip from the Pionur Log which
was concerned about dJ.Snppcaring funds from its accounL
"It was like a black hole, .. Lynn Roscnumer , Busanes~ Manoger,
sasd. "We could.n 'l und~r.and where the money was going."
Apparently, the Busmess Ofhce was overcharging everyone
for everythmg an the time.
"We're talkmg hundreds of mill10ns of dollars here,'' Mister
Audit, head of Lhe invesugation. srud.
Wayne Pederson, Vice Pre~tdent for Bu~iness and FinD nee said
that m order 1.0 remedy the stwauon. wition for on undetcnnined
number of yea~ will rise by 150% each year.
"We'll nll have to dig into our pockets a bit," he said.
The infringement'> on the alcohol policy h3ve rcsullcd in the
campus becoming dry. effective immediately. Armc.d secunty
guards will be s1.ationcd :Strali!gically throughout campus to enforce
this new policy.
"We don't want to hun anyone but if it comes to thut, well .. .''
Officer Mooney said. "This is a serious situation that demunds
serious consequences."
Janitor Candidates
Visit Campus
By JOSE CANUSEE
Presto Log staff
Seven janitorial candidates
addressed a capacity crowd in the
Counctl Chamber yeslerdoy,
speak.tng on sue h 1 sue.<> as the rei a-Live ments of different cleaning
products, the alcohol policy in
Tern pleton. the Prc.sidenti.ll Search.
the policy of u. ing a tr..LSh blower
to blow leaves off campus path·
ways and Lewis and Clark' · de
ferred accredstation.
Sean Penn Keynotes First Hate Week .. I would like to sa: a kinder,
cleaner campus." one candidate
srud. "Lew1s and Clark needs a
person who cm1 help the campus to
achteve new heights m "'uch areas
as toilet cleaning. l am that man." By EO ITORINCHIEF
Presto Log staff
D1scussing the importance of
hale m society, the fli'St annual
ltwts and Clark College Hate
Week sponsored a number of
~mmars and workshops for all
cymcal, depressed and man10cal
people.
The h1ghlightoflhe week, held
Marth 20 to 2A, was o lecture given
by keynote speaker Sean Penn,
famed actor and pris1on advocate.
The s-peech, held m the Coun·
ttl Chamber on March 20, wns
attended by over 1,000 hate-filled
people who became even more
hateful due to the crowded condi·
liOns.
Penn, who arrived 30 minutes
late, grumbled a few heated words
about the large crowd and then
began to discuss how hate has
helped him tD enjoy life.
"I hate life, thus I enjoy 11," he
said
Penn mentioned how his ex
Pttiences with journalists has
• tmproved his social and speaking
AbU s.
"I hate reporters and photog-raphers," he srud.
At this point, a photogrnpher
auempted to ta.lce a photo of Penn,
who m tum assaulted the photog·
rapher.
Penn concluded hlS speech by
opening the floor for dtscussion .
When asked about how he became
such a hateful bcmg, Penn re
sponded carefully.
"I don'tlcnow,'' he said.
When asked t.fhe would sepa·
rate from htS celebrity wife. Ma·
donna, Penn gave a shock.ulg an
swer.
"No, but that Jean Kempc
Ware is a babe,'' he swd.
Penn ended the evening by
leaving the crowd with one finnl
thoughL
"1 hate you all," he said.
At this pomt, an un&dentified
source shouted that he hated Penn
as wc.ll. A bystander shouted that
she hnted the unidentified source.
Another person shouted that he
hated Lewis and Clark College
while someorne else asked who
Lewis and Clark were anywoy.
Soon a riot began, due to the heated
moment. the hateful crowd, and
the anticipation of getting out of the crowded chamber fi!SL
The riot was soon controlled
andaudJence mcmbel:scommented
on the evening.
"It sucked,'' Alice Nolan, Stu·
dent organizer, said.
"1 wasn't tnterested in the
event atoll, I was there JUSt to look
at Sean," Arwen Rosenbaum, sen
~~. srud.
"It was a most moving e~peri~
encc." Todd Bauenfield, sc.ntor, satd. "I thtnk the Plau.fonn should
start havang hate days."
"1 learned many mteresting
things and 1 was ama1cd by thas
man's eloquem spealong ~Is."
Peter Chri. tenson, Professor of
Commumcauons. S&Jd.
The second annual Hate Week
will be held an March, 1990 and the
keynote speaker wtll be Mike
Tyson.
Actor Scan Penn is bounded by repor1.c!n followina his kcynoc.c addre.aa
Mud\ lO dUJ'ina Hllo Wcc.k. Pfto*' by Lw ~ One candidate, who re-
sembled fonner LC president
James Gardner, refused to com
ment but said off the record: .. ll's
h.tgh nme that we gel those drunken
SOFA representauves out of the
guuer."
The seven candidates are
vytng for a Single hou.;ekeeping
position in a donn. The name of
the donn, as well as the names of
all the candidnt.cs are being with
held at t.he request of most every
one who mean" anything at the . . .
&nSUlUbOn.
"We don't want there to he
any problems or embanussing ~itu
ations;· an upper·lcve.l admini .
tnltor, who wished to remain an~
onymou.'<, said. "We want the Com·
munity to be involved with t.hcsc
decisions. but nor too involved."
The prescnt.ntions by the can
didates were followed by a brief
quostion and answer session, bul
because t.he.re were no imponant
people like Trustees or Adminis
lnltors in the audience, the forum
was cut short. Students Hit Streets
to Pay Thition
.. e' cr..tl Lcwi und Clark College 'tudcnt.s were involved in n
prosutution ring opcr:1ting in Ponland nnd Sc.mlc, the Portland vice
squud ~id Friday.
Lieutenant Ham· \ tgorito ~id ntleast20 undergruduat.cs wert
arrc~ted in one of tht. m~t sen~tionoJ busts in recent hi ·tory
• Thc."t. are wholesome Amcri~n kid:i who 'old thcm,clvcs to
~W)' in sc.hool," Vigorito satd. Police rofu"Cd to rctcao;~ the nome.."
but said the studentS had turned to the world's second oldest
profc ·sion to pay skyrocketing tuition bills
PR Director Finalist
for President Spot
Sources close to the Prcstdcnunl Search Commiuee have
ltill..ed mformauon to the Presto LfJg whtch sugge..'\ts Jean Kempe
\\ ore. Lewis and Clar\.'s On-ector of Pubhc Relnuons. ss a fsnaHst
m the ..earth for LC'5 new Prcs1dent
"\\ e're really C'\CU.ed about Jean, .. the soun:e ~rud .. Not only
is she the onl} woman finaltst and the only Ctnabsl currently
employed by the College. her real fortt tS that sho can talk to the
medaa ..
Bccaust Kempe. Ware is already employed at LC. 11 was not
necessary for the Pr~sto Log to wtthhold her nome from pubhca-
tion. •
Former President
Named College
Chaplain
•
Former Lewis and Clnrlc PresidcntJun Gardner hns been asked
to return to LC as the new Chaplam, ending a four month search for
a replacement for JJm SllJa.rt.
"I just want tO work 10 achieve peace and brotherhood tn th1C\
community;· nn excited Gnrdner said by telephone from hts home
"I want 10 have a community where we all can be fnends ...
STUDENTS NEEDED FOR
PAINFUL RETINA FLUID
EXPERI1\1ENTS.
ActU.a.lly , tb.e Pioneer Log b. looking
tor t.lll os:t spirits seeking crea.ti ve
outlets in the ar ea.s: oiv.rritin.gan.d
pb.otography. Oi.ve us a holler at x2~01 Presto t.og, April t, 1989
By CAD ILLACTAB
Presto Log staff
i\ nl'w I nt( rim Acting lnstitu
tionalh cd Committee lor Plnnnmg
Acceptably Non Rcprcscnt.novc
Sohllions to MnJor Problems nnd Ovc~eing and Regulating Gov
cmancc at rhc lnslituHon of L~was
untl Clark College met for the fu'Sl
umc yesterday and was nppnrcntly
htulcd as successful by t.hc Office
of the Provost. a
·n1c PrrHo I og wus unable to
spcnk wath the Provost du'CCtly,
but spoil.c nt ono umc or another to
nll 19 of her ~rewr ics and viSited
with lho dogs who share her offtcc
Audio Active Button Blamed for Fire
By I.M ACULPRITT
Presto Log staff
An uudio active button
s" itched on in the language. lnb is
.,u,pcctoo to be the c nusc ol the fire
)'CStt:.rrlay thnt resulted tn the gut
ung of the adjoming ScnJnman
Thn. t.er cln.'isroomo.;
Unul new clao;srooms can be
built student-; will not have to ot
tend language lab
As mvcsugators sa fled through
the rubble or chnrrcd blue head
phones and tape recorders, studen~
hadakcggeron Lhc lawn m front of
Stcwan to celebrate the end or
language tab for the year
"As much as I love the French
language. 1 won "t mt\S gomg to
lnb C'est dommagc, mats Ia v1e
conunue," Rach Lcw1s, scmor
French and pobucol scaencc ma
JOr, said. Anton Andercggcn , Profcs.-.or
of French. mamuuncd , however,
1hat c.lasscs wall c.ontmuc to be
held
"It's spring, so cia scs can be
held outstdc, but the smell of ~make is a bn overpowering right now,"
he srud
Tht anvesugnuon wiU con·
onuc unullhcculpnt wsth the happy
fmgcr tS found
Asbestos Found in
Provost's 0 • zce
By A. 9. SEE
Presto Log staff
AsbestOs diSCovered yestcr
day falling from the cethng or the
Provo·t•s Office was cleaned up
smmediac.ely through the dahgent
effortS of an outside toxac waste
removal crew who funneled the
lethal powder out of the Manor
House in vacuum tubes to the Faculty Office Bmldlngs and For
est Oonns.
"It seemed like the best solu
uon to n potenttatly very messy
problem," Provost Jacquelyn
Mnu.feld wrote an 8 prepared state
ment to the Prtsto wg. "By fun
neling the waste directly lO two
specsfic areas, only 8 hmued
number of community members
wall be affected."
ARE YOU A MINOR?
WANT TO BUY BEER AND CAN'T?
COME TO THE MARRIOTT OFFICE AND RECEIVE
YOUR OFFICIAL ILLEGIAL OREGON STATE
DRIVERS LISCENSE. THIS OFFER IS AVAILABLE
ONLY TO STUDENTS WITH A CURRENT VALIDATION
STICKER. A FEE OF $10.00 WILL BE BILLED TO
YOUR PARENTS. BROUGHTTOYOUBYASL CANDTHEOLCC
CRIMEBEAT
L----------------- -.. ____ ... Oil Spill
Threatens
Delicate
Reflection
Pond
Ecosystem The purpose of Cnmcbeat as to make the Lewis and Clad
Community more aware of cnmc on campus. By creating an aware·
ness. st is the [..()g's purpose to holp mem~ of the LC community
protect themselves from being vtcumiz.ed . Lists are comptled by
reports from security. Alcn Secunty tf anythmg suspicious is ob
served, exL 2779 or 0.
YOUNG AMERICANS!
Here's your chance to protect U.S.
democracy and work for peace in
Central America. This is a rare oppor
tunity to support your country while
raping, murdering, and torturing
hundreds and thousands of innocent
civilians and make money to go to-
wards your college education~
Now's Your Chance: Join the ... A truck loaded wath many
gallon~ or crude ost ran out of
control and ovenumcd in the re.
OecLing pond yesterday.
"We're not sure yet what the
envtronmental1mpact will be, bul
the wUdhfe lhat live m the pond
wtll most likely be affected, ..
Dennis Pagney. Oll"ector of Physt
cal Plant Services, srud.
Exxon offictals to whom the
truck was regL~tered were mysu
fied as to why the truck was on
Lower Campus m the first place. r March 18: Car vandalized by Aubrey Watzak library
r March 19: Computet virus in regtsaur computer
r March 20: Fonner President Gardner's Subaru stolen fCJ
secunty purposes
r March 21: Computer varus returns to registrar computct
r March 21: Unadentified gang loots SAGA kitchen. steals
food
r March 23: Pamplin Sport.~ Center stolen
r March 25: Bike stolen by Agnes Flanagan chapel
r Mwch 26: Clulpct demolished; Gracetand monwnent
erected against building codes
March 27~ Condom machinc..q stolen fTom dorms
They clauned Lower Campus was not on the truck'~ scheduled The Presto wg is published once in a blue moon and is
route. not at all affiliated with Lewis and Clark College, ASLC
The College was scrambling or the Pioneer Log. In the spirit of April Fools' Day, the
yest.erday to conc.act alumna to staff sincerely hopes none of this will be taken seriously
donate funds for the clean-up as
this expense was not antictpat.ed .._0_r_pe_rso_n_a_11_Y_· ______________ .,.
by tbt Board of Trustees. Ian Gee
Ruling, S
By JIM SOCKS
Presto Log staff
ln the lutcstanvcsli
Fi~cr" Perry, reporu: hu
th~.-test scores of presol
above the Propostoon 4
[sr.,t year uthlcte..\ to sat
700 on the Schola.c;uc
College Tc.c;t) and a 2.0
Perry was convictq
ncction wath u maJor
Kennel Club. He wns
$10,000. lie Interplea
sporu bribery as pnn (
Umversaty
Gee, who led Lc
unavnilablc for commc1
aMotc16 m suburbanS
mto the NCAA champi
Further invesogad
Ji.kcly thlS Wtll be Gee'
from coUcgune al.hlcuc
Vi~ons Of T~e Fu
No one had seen co~
that they still eXIsted
there .. we were still ~
so there had 10 be co
never had bones ... no
always a consist.ant 7
my mind t remcmbe1
vary .. at least when l
we heard the truth. <
from a smgle cell ... p
like a furry puffball a
"orgamc" nutncnts t1
rcachcd .. thc propers
get them to grow m t
for packagmg they~
I bought a new ~i
gave me twenty t
exchange. The oJ
old and seemed p
that our farruly HJ
how her small bl1
the bowl or albur
she was unsure "'
cx.platned to her 1
a virtually pcrfec
was really quite t
would sort of dril
SliaWS. 1 told he•
that dtdn't seem ~
She dtdn't actual1
what was for des
we the resj
staff would
the grose p
have been s
could see lhe flrs
her eye as she s~
1 of strawberry jeu
as the jello close~
foot, making lhc
maccaroni docs
dtrcclly afcer co
Walked over to • •ce cold prune j
before but my m
a luer of it she
• s.ner to watch
dad went to the
five hours witho
Without any he
Waited for her to
back to my jello •
•
• rresco to~, Aprill, 1989 Pasee 3
Ian Gee Violates Sports
Ruling, Sha~nes LC Virus Gets in Registrar's Computers
BY JIM SOCKS
Presto l.og staff
In the latest invc-.ltgutton of spon.CJ agcnv'gamblcr R1chtc ''the
fixer" Perry. report.'i hove revealed that three years ago Perry f•xcd
the test -.core~; of prc.~nl LC pomt guard lan Gee to qualtfy him
above the Propos1llon 48 rules. Propo\1Uon 48 requires all NCAA
rtr.~t yecu athletes to sit out o year 1r they failtonchicvc a combmed
700 on the Scholosuc Aputude Test (or IS on tho Amen~m
College Test) and a 2 0 gmde pomt average
Perry was convicted in 1974 of spon.c; bnbcry chnrges in con
nection wuh a meljor Portland bctlJng sc.1ndal at Multnomah
Kennel Club. Ht wns sentenced to two ycnt'!i 10 pnson and hned
SlO.OOO. He later pleaded guilty tn 1984 to conspttang to commit
sporb bribery as pan of a pomt shavmg scandal al Wtllameu.e
• •
Unavcr~my
Gee, who led Lewb und Clnrk to lhc Fmal Four, hac; been
unuvailablc for comment. One roponer has identified him outstde
a Motcl6 m suburban Seattle. Gee ted the nuuon m nsStsts going
mto the NCAA champtonshtp game at the Kmgdomo Monday
Further investigauons will resume after the game, but ll is
hlcely th•s wtll be Gee's last before a suspens1on or possible ban
from collegtate athlcucs.
Vl~ons Of The Fu!ure Arrived A! One Evenin~ ...
No one had seen cows an years, we just assumed
that they stiU ex.isted ... they had always been
there .. we were still able lO buy meat in t.he market.
so lllere had LO be cows .. nghl? The meal available
never had bones ... none ... and tho fat eontem was
always a consistan t ?% ... somewhere in the back of
my mind 1 remembcrd that this level of fat used to
vary .. atleast when I would buy hamburge r. Then
we heard the trulll. Cows were now being raised
from a sangle ceU ... phmos showed us what looked
like a furry puflball mushroom ... machines pumped
"organ1c" nutnents through t.hc ... blob ... unuJ tt
reached .. the proper saze. I hear they're trying to
get them to grow 10 the shape of a box now, easter
for packag1ng they say I grow my own vegetables now.
1 bought a new sister yesterday. Mom and Dad
gave me twenty bucks and 1 took her to the
exchange. The one I bought was twelve year~
old and seemed pretty nice. She seemed shocked
lhat our family liked to cat albumin. 1 kept nottcmg
how her small blue eyes kept glancing over at
the bowl of albumin sitting just to her left as though
she was unsure wether or not she could eat it. 1
explruncd to her the albumin or egg whites contained
a vinua1ly perfect balance of amino acids and thus
wa really quite a good thing to eat. Actually we
would sort of dnnk. 1t through stainless steel
straws. I told her that my old sister liked it but
that dtdn't seem to make any differance to her.
She didn't actually lhrow up until I showed her
what was for dessert and w
W e the rest of the Pres to Log
staff w ould like to apologise for
the grose prose that our readers
have been subjected to over the
could see the fiTst gleam of pleasure in
her eye as she sunk her left foot into the pail
of strawberry jeUo. The dog watched closely
as lhc jello closed together over the top of her
foot, making the type of noise the elbow
macearoni docs when being sti.rred with a probe
directly afrer cooking. I digress. My mom
Walked over to us carrying two taU glasses of
icc cold prune juice. I had never had the stuff
before but my mom said that if we both drank
a bter of it she wouldn't have to hire a baby
sitter to watch us that evening when she and
dad went to the symphony. Freedom ... a whole
five hours without parental supervision!
Without any hesitation I downed the juice,
waued for her to finish hers. and then went
back to my jello experiments. By ZACK TEEVEE
PrtJsto Log staff
A computu virus plagued tho
rcgistnr '(Omputcr over Spnng
Brc.ak, dc..llpilt.Academic Com pul
ing repeated efforts to removt. 1L.
"From now on we will usc
condoms over our modems to keep
this lrorn happening," Mike Cut
lcm, Director of Academic Com puling, said.
Professors had not yet turned
in gmdcs when this happened so
Wmu. r Term grudc." were not af.
focu:d, but according to Regi.strnr
Bob Wilken, all gn•de\ from the
lust six y~ have been los&.
·•we don t really think this
will be a problem, " Wilken srud.
"Since l.cwt-. und Clurk is on the
honor sy t.em. we don't think there will be any problem Wllh student
just coming in and telling us what
their grndcs were and whnt clu.~cs
they took."
StudcnL~ wm be called in on
an individual bosi~ to provide tl1eir
cla~~ information to the rcgisuur.
Five pieces ol 10, including dr.tft
rcgistrJtion cards, wtll be required
to have grade infonootion entered
into lhe computers .
Books Burned in English Seminar Room
By CLARA NETT
Presto Log staff
Over 500 Lewis und Clark
English maJors gathered in the
English scmmar room yesterday
lor a ceremonial book-burmng of
Norton Anthology of Lttemturc
Volume Ones
The 200 mtUJon page bable
wetght book contams such trcas
urc.s a~ B~owulf, Paradtse Lost .
assorted lyncal ballads and TM
DurchtH of Malfi and 1s requtted
rcadmg for maJOrs
Some students donned capes
and earned mccnse burners and
candles. At ftrSt one mighl have
thought it wnsacommunity-build-ing work.-.hop and might have
cxpcclcd to hear the melodious
st11Uns of Kum Ba Ya, but !\ud
dcnly from the heated darkness,
someone shouted "Down with • Mtlton" and all hell broke loose
"B towulf \ucks, ·· A ll~on
Baker, sophomore English mnJOr,
said, nmgmg her t.exl mto the bnl
liant orange names.
Apparently, the students who
paructpatcd m the book bummg
dtd not upprectat.c thee las 1c reso
nance of such works of exll80rdi·
nary hterary ment nnd burned their
books in protest of the require·
menL
"Itlikedoesn't helpmeundc.r
stnnd the modem vts1on at all," Kirsu:n Rian, senior Engli h mu·
jor. said.
The fircpi;)CC where th • bum·
ing took place hnd never before
been uS4:d and no one knew cxuctly
why il was bu1lL.
Jack Hart. Profcs.'>or of Eng·
tish, said that the fireplace was
used once for SOlc.nficing phy,ic4\
majors, resuJung tn a chimney fire
when body pane; became lodged in
Lhe flue. Because of this fU'C. the
administration has di.c;couragcd its
use.
"It would be a good place to
sit and drink home brew.·· Thomas
J. Cunnmgham Ul,junior Enghsh
mnjor, 5ald.
-ZIG ZAG
ZIG Z;\G
ZIGZAG ZIG ZAG VTG ZAG· ZIG ZAG
ZIG ZAG 'V!IG Zi\G ZIG ZAG
ZIG ZAG ~IG ZAG ZIG ZAG
MADE ORG~N CALLY ~(• ~ SMOKIN·~ PLEASURE
HOW MONEY IS REALLY DISTRIBUTED TO THE POPLILACE
IN Tl-IE TRICKLE-DOWN Tl-IEORY OF OUR GOVERNMENT:
CIA
$30.00 ad
1. Bee Printing Company 3. Tom Cunningham
• Paper Industry
• Ink Industry
• Ear plugs
• Fred Meyer & Thrittwoy 2. lewis and Clark
College A One ptnt ale at Widmer Pub
• Matt Industry
• Hop growers ot Oregon
• Dlshwoshlng soap Industry
• Petrochemlcatlndustry
The Common Man
Fred Meyer once again
Conclusion: The CIA stlpports Fred Meyer • Prt"'ifO Los:. April 1, 1989
This pace Provided as a Public ervice Announcement by the Presto Log: •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• THE STUDENT t,
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• PUBL1 HFD D...\1LU By XLOND1JGE PRESS, 1NC. rR.1DA.Lj, rt.ARC~ 10, t989 PORTLAND, O:REBON f'R.tt
e
8\' THE EDITOR-IN
CHIEF
lelis~a Lim, studem
extrnordinaire, and Gary
Schmidt, beuer student e.x
traordinaire. dissalistfied
with the inadequac> of the
~tudent newspaper of Lewis
• md Clark College. the Pio
neer Log. decided to stan
their own paper, Tlzt Scoop.
The paper began us fir t
issue March 9 and will be
one page in lt!ngth. ews
•
'
.. 1 JUSt wasn't getting
enough creative freedom
with the Lo~ ... lim said .. So
many restnction linutcd
my self expresston and JUSt
didn't give me a good feel
ing. II was a dictator htp ..
Alison Baker, Ednor tn
Chlef of the Log, was un
a~ ailable for comment be
cause we didn't want to take
the nme to talk to her.
Sc..hmidt \\as unavailable
for comment because he was
preol'Cupied playing educa-
Chapel Demolished;
'Graceland' Erected
BY THE FEAT RE
EDITOR
On March 5 the Chapel
wa demolished by three LC
Students who~e name~ were
not made public at press time.
The students performed
the act to protest the resigna
tion of fonner Chaplain, Jim
Stu an.
"Jtm was always a big
fan of Elvts Presley, so we
built the only thang we could
to commerate 11m as a Chap
lain and friend, .. one of the
three demolishers ~wud.
They buill a replica of
Graceland, Elvis Presley's
mansion in Tennessee . .. Now we can remember
Jim as we knew him ~ 'The
King', ,the same anonymous
student satd.
Freedom
r pick up an issue of the
Pioneer Log
r read the stories
And spit on it until my
mouth is dry
Now I cannot breathe
This is a symbol of my
inability to say what I want
But now I am free
But now I am free
But now 1 am free
But now I am free
FREE RECTAL EXAMINATIONS
Where: Outside the Trail room
When : Monday April 3rd 7am-Spm
This service is provided free to students by a
generous gift from the Reagan Colan Cancer
Foundati?n . In a. quick and painless procedure, a sample
of deep ussue .wtll be removed ~rom the large intestine
and analyz~d m or~er to dete~e whether or not any
of the celJs m quesuon are mahgnant.
Questions? Call Student Health Services at Ext.4086 ee
uonal mmd game~ on the
computer.
The two are very e cited
10 be pubh!\htng thetr own
paper
"l am vtrv happy to be
\\ orking wHh Gary be<..Juse
he meets all tn) nt'attve
needs; Ltm sa1d .
Schmtdt was sttll un
available for comment as the
educanonal game was get
ung really good.
The paper can be found
around the greater Portland
area.
Pamplin
Sports
Center
Stolen
BY THE SPORT
EDITOR
Pamphn Spons Center
was reported stolen March
8, Fred Wilson, LC Athletic
Director, said.
There is one suspect.
.. Dean Sempert did it,''
Wilson said. "Jerry Gatto,
[Athletic Director succed
ing Wilson J dared him to do
itandhedid. I'mimpre ssed."
The entire building was
stolen completely off its
foundation. A note was left
which said "I did it, from
Dean." Authorities. after
days of investigating, fig
ured out that it was Dean
Sempen.
Classes and sporting
events that used the center
are being held in the library
until Sempert gives the build
ing back. • •
rzntzn~
COMING IN THE NEXT ISSUE:
Jean Kempe-Ware named LC President
Manor House on Fire, Provost trapped inside
Exchange students come to LC from Baton Rouge, LA
What 1 did over Spring Break, by Melissa Lim
P1os lose everything, coaches sent to Dammasch
-
-
Mdtna l.am and Gary Schmtdt, 1tudcnt.a ul,.onllnatre, aLan lhcm own peper,
TM Sc(XJp. Phob by Mol~ Lin
I I
EDITOR-IN CHIEF
GARY SCHMIDT
MANAGING EDrJ'OR
MELISSA LIM
NEWS EDITOR
GARY SCI-IMIDT
FORUM EDITOR
MELISSA LIM
FEATURES EDITOR
MELISSA LIM
SPORTS EDITOR
GARY SCHMIDT
ADVERTISING MANAGER
GARY SCHMIDT
BUSINESS MANAGER
MELISSA LIM
WRITERS
MELISSA LIM, GARY SCHMIDT
PIIOTOGRAPHERS
MELISSA LIM, GARY SCHMIDT
PRODUCTION PEOPLE
MELISSA LIM. GARY SCHMIDT _.... ~ . ~ .
·~
By USA KAATZ and CHFi
Pooeer Log staff
Lewis and Clarlc Co
host the Eaghth Annus
Sllld•esSymposaum Mon
10 through Wednesday,
on the theme "Visions w
for Change" which will
Ill interdisciplinary apt
&eodcr issues. Featured
tOOiudc poo.t June Jord
F11lh Reingold and poJit
risl DaJc Spender.
WhiletheGenderSy
pins national recognili~
uptorauon of gendet
SymposiUm Coordina(
Atkinson explruned that
~ium also helps to bridl
between the campus and
Dity
"Every year our
becomes wider and more
sbe satd.
The Symposium isal
because studenr participol
ISsJon.c: gives students ~
lllnhy to take something 1
llnlleo and rework it to
discussaons, Atkinson
lC Students will not on I~
~nunity to modera~
but also to sit on the
!*leis. Many of the
ltworlong their senior
~r nuijor research
~rating them into ~
Dons.
'The symposium
~!he boundaries bet wee
• and the co
Atkinson said. "It acts as
((rnew adcas and debe
enable people to ~